What he should do is shutter all the restaurants and open a new business that only sells Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. They could sell small, medium, and large cheddar biscuits, and also offer a variety of shapes. Maybe even branch into different colors. They could even have a restaurant where you start your meal with a cheddar biscuit, then have shredded cheddar biscuits in a bowl with some hot cheese dressing, then a steak-shaped cheddar biscuit with a cheddar biscuit on the side, and then for dessert, a cheddar biscuit cake. I'm not sure what they'd name this restaurant, but I'd eat there because I like their cheddar biscuits.

Yup, people are just lined up around the side of Red Lobster. Rocking back and forth in a hungry frenzy, banging on the portholed door and muttering about cheese biscuits.

But they just doesn't have the capital to hire the staff to feed them...

Serve something besides tasteless cr@p with no nutritional value, and maybe people will return to your bloated, over priced "restaurants".

That said, this gets to a core problem with business in America. Business owners have gotten so used to paying their employees meager wages with an absolute minimum of breaks, time off or compassion, that any attempt to rectify that is seen as a sure sign of doom.

Pocket Ninja: What he should do is shutter all the restaurants and open a new business that only sells Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. They could sell small, medium, and large cheddar biscuits, and also offer a variety of shapes. Maybe even branch into different colors. They could even have a restaurant where you start your meal with a cheddar biscuit, then have shredded cheddar biscuits in a bowl with some hot cheese dressing, then a steak-shaped cheddar biscuit with a cheddar biscuit on the side, and then for dessert, a cheddar biscuit cake. I'm not sure what they'd name this restaurant, but I'd eat there because I like their cheddar biscuits.

KFC?

Can we agree on the term "Farkwit" for CEOs like these?

Regulatory mandates flowing from federal health care reform may be the most visible, but the list also includes measures such as new mandatory paid leave provisions that require us to change the way we accommodate employees who need to take time off when they are ill and ever more unrealistic requirements regarding employee meal and rest breaks that, in California for example, force our employees to take breaks in the middle of serving lunch or dinner.

Holy run-on sentence, Batman.

Say what you want about red lobster but those buttery-cheesy bread balls they serve are delicious.

mandatory paid leave provisions that require us to change the way we accommodate employees who need to take time off when they are ill

Wow. I bet he gets a lot of sympathy with statements like that.

I owned a small restaurant at the time the new Olive Garden was being built a few miles away, and the temptation to burn it to the ground every time I drove past it knowing that the rubes would soon be lining up to eat that dreck instead of supporting people like me was almost too much to resist.

I am out of that business now, but the urge to arson them after reading this is starting to creep back in.

Okay so the actual letter is posted here: Link (new window)

The only examples he provides is that his employees are forced to take breaks during lunch and dinner service and that they had to change the healthcare benefits offered to them (although he doesn't specify whether the benefits are better or worse now). The rest is a bunch of whining about "WAAA WE'RE OPENING UP 80 MORE LOCATIONS AROUND THE COUNTRY BUT WE'RE SO OPPRESSED WAAAA"

vernonFL: mandatory paid leave provisions that require us to change the way we accommodate employees who need to take time off when they are ill

Wow. I bet he gets a lot of sympathy with statements like that.


How can you run a restaurant if you can't force people to handle food while they're ill?

Hehe...I know Otis' secretary (Darden is HQed here). She's a hyperconservative religious nut with a persecution complex.

itsdan: vernonFL: mandatory paid leave provisions that require us to change the way we accommodate employees who need to take time off when they are ill

Wow. I bet he gets a lot of sympathy with statements like that.


How can you run a restaurant if you can't force people to handle food while they're ill?

Yeah. That Typhoid Mary chick was a hard worker. Never missed a day.

I quit going to these piles of crap about 2 years ago. I don't miss any of it.

I expected specifics. But, then again, his generic food chains are an example of how accurate anything produced by a CEO will be. Also, I'm with the cut profits crowd. Raise prices a bit also and you'll save some people the frustration of paying for food and getting crap. Except for the biscuits, they should be sold off they way Kodak is doing with their patents to survive. The employees make low wages and deserve better from their "leader".

Sure, they are...

Jake Havechek: No, it's because the middle class doesn't have any money to go to your crappy restaurants.

Ding!

That, and I wonder how much of the local food movement is reinforcing that; i.e. used as an excuse to justify the lack of $$$ to go out to eat.

Thanks to Obama, I can't have sick people handling my food. Thanks a lot Fartbongo Soetoro Hussein the third!

but the list also includes measures such as new mandatory paid leave provisions that require us to change the way we accommodate employees who need to take time off when they are ill and ever more unrealistic requirements regarding employee meal and rest breaks that, in California for example, force our employees to take breaks in the middle of serving lunch or dinner.


Listen up you STUPID mutherfarkers who are broke as shiat and yet still voting to reduce "job-killing regulations"...

This bastard just told you that the reason he can't create more low-paying, stressful, shiatty jobs is that our president has forced him to PAY YOU WHEN YOU ARE SICK AND ALLOW YOU TO TAKE BREAKS.

The "regulations" that these CEOs are getting you to vote against are the very rules that keep you safe and protect you from their greed. You want to kill the regulations so that you can be forced to work in a farking Red Lobster 6 days a week, on your feet for 6 hours a day without a break? You're an idiot and its time someone told you.

I have a buddy who works at Red Lobster. He says that just about everything cooked in the back is dipped in a giant vat of "butter." Their websites says the biscuits are 150 calories each. I wouldn't doubt they are more like 200.

LarryDan43: Take meat, bread it, fry it, cut it into shape of what customer ordered. Ta da!

Please no.