FARK.com: (6795285) Putin pulls 99.48 percent of the vote . . . in Chechnya. The other .52 took a long car ride in a black unmarked vehicle and were never seen again

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(Some Guy)		Putin pulls 99.48 percent of the vote . . . in Chechnya. The other .52 took a long car ride in a black unmarked vehicle and were never seen again (monstersandcritics.com)		85
		More: Interesting, United Russia, Chechnya

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85 Comments (+0 »)

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GAT_00

2011-12-07 12:05:19 PM

See, this is what I don't get. It's obvious to anyone that was a sham vote. If you're going to make a sham of it, why not make it less obvious? Take 52% of the vote or something. You still win.

thismomentinblackhistory

2011-12-07 12:11:06 PM

Vladmir Putin picks me up in a black Escalade and we speed through Moscow as he regales me with tales of the Cold War. He has recently gone through a break-up and is feeling vulnerable.

We arrive at a palatial mansion on the Baltic Sea. He cooks me dinner...shirtless. He sets out huge plates for the food, but when he is done cooking, all he has are these tiny purple scallops that he has painstakingly plated.

As we eat, the conversation gets kind of awkward. I notice a wedding party on the shore taking pictures and he explains that he allows weddings on his property to offset the cost of the mansion.

Tell Me How My Blog Tastes

2011-12-07 12:16:38 PM

GAT_00: See, this is what I don't get. It's obvious to anyone that was a sham vote. If you're going to make a sham of it, why not make it less obvious? Take 52% of the vote or something. You still win.

Why give Chechnya any hope of actual representation? Anybody they actually elected would probably try to burn the Duma down w/Putin in it.

//Lord knows I would

GAT_00

2011-12-07 12:17:13 PM

Tell Me How My Blog Tastes: GAT_00: See, this is what I don't get. It's obvious to anyone that was a sham vote. If you're going to make a sham of it, why not make it less obvious? Take 52% of the vote or something. You still win.

Why give Chechnya any hope of actual representation? Anybody they actually elected would probably try to burn the Duma down w/Putin in it.

//Lord knows I would

Which is why you make sure you still win, but with a tiny shred of credibility a close win gives.

ZAZ

2011-12-07 12:19:30 PM

Anybody they actually elected would probably try to burn the Duma down w/Putin in it.

I'm not sure. The non-Russian population is probably down quite a bit since 1990.

I had mixed feelings about the Chechnyan resistance. They were terrorists fighting for a good cause.

make me some tea

2011-12-07 12:20:04 PM

Demetrius

2011-12-07 12:21:37 PM

GAT_00: See, this is what I don't get. It's obvious to anyone that was a sham vote. If you're going to make a sham of it, why not make it less obvious? Take 52% of the vote or something. You still win.

That would show eroding support. He perceives himself to be some type of demi-god and he can't fathom not having full support of everyone. I mean, really, how could they not love him?

assets0.ordienetworks.com

coffeecrisp

2011-12-07 01:21:40 PM

It's clear that Putin speaks for the 99%

SurfaceTension

2011-12-07 01:27:13 PM

So he's beyond Ivory soap pure, then?

CitizenTed

2011-12-07 01:28:52 PM

GAT_00: See, this is what I don't get. It's obvious to anyone that was a sham vote. If you're going to make a sham of it, why not make it less obvious? Take 52% of the vote or something. You still win.

Putin's pact with the Kadyrovs took a lot of time and money and murders. The end result was a Putin "win" in Chechnya. This "win" was necessary to maintain the illusion of a united multi-ethnic Russia that was just as united as it was under Soviet control. It also stopped the wars and brought the soldiers home.

The deal required Kadyrov Jr. to wipe out all Islamist resistance to Russian rule (in return for massive amounts of cash and political power). Now, Pravda could pen articles about a reformed and recalcitrant Chechnya that is no longer an enemy of the State. Hooray!

So, when election time rolls around, Kadyrov does what he always does: squashes an ant with an anvil. Everyone will vote and everyone will vote "correctly" OR ELSE. The result may raise red flags, but Kadyrov can't be faulted: he was just doing his job.

Meatzilla

2011-12-07 01:45:36 PM

Marcus Aurelius

2011-12-07 03:03:54 PM

Beluga Heights

2011-12-07 03:15:02 PM

Why is it easier to believe that 700,000 Russians are against Putin rather than 140,000,000 are being forced to support him?

tricycleracer

2011-12-07 03:15:21 PM

Rockstone

2011-12-07 03:15:40 PM

clovis69

2011-12-07 03:16:06 PM

ZAZ: I had mixed feelings about the Chechnyan resistance. They were terrorists fighting for a good cause.

Like killing students on the first day back to school and blowing up theaters in Moscow?

No really they are asshats.

logruszed

2011-12-07 03:16:53 PM

I predict that not less than half the neoconservative bootlickers in the U.S. will see no problem with this while freaking out that the Muslim Brotherhood won big in Egypt.

Arkanaut

2011-12-07 03:16:58 PM

ZAZ: I had mixed feelings about the Chechnyan resistance. They were terrorists fighting for a good cause.

Sometimes, both sides are dicks.

IXI Jim IXI

2011-12-07 03:19:09 PM

Marcus Aurelius: Given the fanatics supporting Putin, I'd bet that more than one of them stuffed the ballot box.

I'd bet that more than one of the opposition were stuffed INTO the ballot box...

incendi

2011-12-07 03:19:33 PM

Rockstone: I don't think it's winner-take-all in Russia.

No, it's Putin-take-all. The details don't matter.

EricTheHalfABee

2011-12-07 03:19:42 PM

wow. 99.51% voter turn out. This all sounds totally legit.

tlchwi02

2011-12-07 03:20:23 PM

Cagey B

2011-12-07 03:20:24 PM

ZAZ: I had mixed feelings about the Chechnyan resistance. They were terrorists fighting for a good cause.

"Terrorist" is a term usually reserved for people who have been deemed by society to be fighting for a "bad" cause, so that's kind of an odd statement.

And, while I'm definitely not one to pretend that armed conflicts have white hats and black hats, I fail to see what the benefit was of taking schoolchildren hostage and killing them.

G2V

2011-12-07 03:20:31 PM

GAT_00: See, this is what I don't get. It's obvious to anyone that was a sham vote. If you're going to make a sham of it, why not make it less obvious? Take 52% of the vote or something. You still win.

Show of strength?

As in, "I can win, even when everyone knows I cheated." Something for opponents to think about before they mess with you.

incendi

2011-12-07 03:21:27 PM

EricTheHalfABee: wow. 99.51% voter turn out. This all sounds totally legit.

It's amazing what a well-implemented absentee ballot system can do, isn't it?

/Glad to see you showed up to vote for Putin
//Didn't show up? Well, they probably meant to vote for Putin.. lemme take care of that right quick

olddinosaur

2011-12-07 03:24:11 PM

"Once a despot named Vladimir Ilich
Had a notion which surely was too rich:
As election time neared---
All his foes disappeared---
So they now call him Comrade Sobakavich!"
--------- bad grammar but good satire, best I could do on short notice.

(let's see how far we go before the Russian grammar-Nazis jump me)

SuperNinjaToad

2011-12-07 03:27:48 PM

EricTheHalfABee: wow. 99.51% voter turn out. This all sounds totally legit.

yeah.. I was thinking that number is even more far fetch than the already hard to believe numbers of the votes LOL.
I mean why not just mark 100% and call it a day?

Oznog

2011-12-07 03:30:12 PM

lohphat

2011-12-07 03:31:30 PM

It's not who casts the votes that matters, it's who counts the votes.

AntonChigger

2011-12-07 03:31:54 PM

What, did the UNLIKELY tag develop a sudden bullet infection like so many other dissenters over there?

Hector Remarkable

2011-12-07 03:32:42 PM

Oh, they know it doesn't look credible. They don't care. It's pure arrogance; their sly way of saying 'you know how it really is - we're in control of everything'.

Just like when Sarah Palin was put up as a serious candidate to lead our own country. I mean, c'mon, that was really just to mock us. Real people know that she was utterly incapable of actually being in charge, and that's it's also just as unlikely Islamists would all vote for Putin.

Coffee Snob

2011-12-07 03:32:59 PM

He even took Garfield County?

OgreMagi

2011-12-07 03:33:54 PM

Rockstone: GAT_00: See, this is what I don't get. It's obvious to anyone that was a sham vote. If you're going to make a sham of it, why not make it less obvious? Take 52% of the vote or something. You still win.

I don't think it's winner-take-all in Russia.

It's a parliamentary system so the amount you win decides the power in the chamber, which then votes for the prime minister. The people do not directly elect him.

LoneDoggie

2011-12-07 03:34:35 PM

I hope all you naysayers enjoy your Polonium sandwich next time you go out to eat.

Or if you're lucky, your....

blog-imgs-50.fc2.com

...penis augmentation procedure.

patrick767

2011-12-07 03:35:15 PM

These results sound legit.

Lone Stranger

2011-12-07 03:35:52 PM

POOT IN

LouDobbsAwaaaay

2011-12-07 03:39:31 PM

EricTheHalfABee: wow. 99.51% voter turn out. This all sounds totally legit.

Must have got Kathy Nickolaus from Waukasha county, WI to run the numbers for his "election".

tlchwi02

2011-12-07 03:40:07 PM

Cagey B: "Terrorist" is a term usually reserved for people who have been deemed by society to be fighting for a "bad" cause, so that's kind of an odd statement.

i guess it depends on the society. If you're a chechan civilian who wanted freedom from russian rule after the end of the soviet empire and lived through the soviet armies horrific occupation, then a group of fighters taking russian civilian hostages are going to seem like they are just fighting for freedom by the russians rules.

If you are a russian nationalist who believes chechnya's absorption into russia is fundamentally seperate from the soviet client states that made up the traditional concept of the USSR and therefore trying to break away makes them dangerous rebels who the army and politicians were correct in dealing with, then those same people are awful terrorists

Virulency

2011-12-07 03:50:32 PM

EricTheHalfABee: wow. 99.51% voter turn out. This all sounds totally legit.

its legit, they just banned everyone except for the military and military i mean one guy in charge just took the number of people stationed there and made that the vote, and the one guy that went against was because the guy in charge hates that guy

Nurglitch

2011-12-07 03:55:07 PM

tlchwi02: Cagey B: "Terrorist" is a term usually reserved for people who have been deemed by society to be fighting for a "bad" cause, so that's kind of an odd statement.

i guess it depends on the society. If you're a chechan civilian who wanted freedom from russian rule after the end of the soviet empire and lived through the soviet armies horrific occupation, then a group of fighters taking russian civilian hostages are going to seem like they are just fighting for freedom by the russians rules.

If you are a russian nationalist who believes chechnya's absorption into russia is fundamentally seperate from the soviet client states that made up the traditional concept of the USSR and therefore trying to break away makes them dangerous rebels who the army and politicians were correct in dealing with, then those same people are awful terrorists

It's like ethics are somehow dependent on perspective. Relative, if you will.

skrame

2011-12-07 04:01:09 PM

Lone Stranger: POOT IN

Link (new window) Probably SFW

Super Chronic

2011-12-07 04:05:47 PM

GAT_00: Tell Me How My Blog Tastes: GAT_00: See, this is what I don't get. It's obvious to anyone that was a sham vote. If you're going to make a sham of it, why not make it less obvious? Take 52% of the vote or something. You still win.

Why give Chechnya any hope of actual representation? Anybody they actually elected would probably try to burn the Duma down w/Putin in it.

//Lord knows I would

Which is why you make sure you still win, but with a tiny shred of credibility a close win gives.

In Chechnya, even 52% for Putin would not be believable. This is the man who was originally elected based on his promise to blast all of Chechnya back into the Stone Age. It would be like Dick Cheney getting 52% of the vote in Iraq.

SN1987a goes boom

2011-12-07 04:10:06 PM

If memory serves Sadaam Hussein was pulling in similar number in Iraqi 'elections' prior to the US invasion.

Why Yes I Am A Wizard

2011-12-07 04:12:46 PM

thismomentinblackhistory: Vladmir Putin picks me up in a black Escalade and we speed through Moscow as he regales me with tales of the Cold War. He has recently gone through a break-up and is feeling vulnerable.

We arrive at a palatial mansion on the Baltic Sea. He cooks me dinner...shirtless. He sets out huge plates for the food, but when he is done cooking, all he has are these tiny purple scallops that he has painstakingly plated.

As we eat, the conversation gets kind of awkward. I notice a wedding party on the shore taking pictures and he explains that he allows weddings on his property to offset the cost of the mansion.

Dear Penthouse Forums,

This one time at Camp David ...

BronyMedic

2011-12-07 04:15:54 PM

Seriously? This guy is like the real life personification of Doctor Evil.

Newbaca

2011-12-07 04:17:29 PM

Super Chronic:

In Chechnya, even 52% for Putin would not be believable. This is the man who was originally elected based on his promise to blast all of Chechnya back into the Stone Age. It would be like Dick Cheney getting 52% of the vote in Iraq.

52% would be very believable, as Chechen separatists don't view the vote as election legitimate and wouldn't vote anyway. But the turnout would be very low.

Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude

2011-12-07 04:19:41 PM

I was watching the news tonight and actually laughed out loud at the following:

I think it was ZDF, or ARD, but they were reporting on the elections in Russia and how there have been mass arrests and protests. Halfway through they noted that there also appeared to be a fair number of "pro-Putin" protestors and tried to interview a few. They all seemed to be young people and they all said they had been either removed from class at the university or it had been "strongly suggested they attend". After saying that the girl they were interviewing said "And I don't even like Putin. I'm for the opposition".

Good lord what a f*cking corrupt country that is.

Why Yes I Am A Wizard

2011-12-07 04:20:30 PM

Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude: I was watching the news tonight and actually laughed out loud at the following:

I think it was ZDF, or ARD, but they were reporting on the elections in Russia and how there have been mass arrests and protests. Halfway through they noted that there also appeared to be a fair number of "pro-Putin" protestors and tried to interview a few. They all seemed to be young people and they all said they had been either removed from class at the university or it had been "strongly suggested they attend". After saying that the girl they were interviewing said "And I don't even like Putin. I'm for the opposition".

Good lord what a f*cking corrupt country that is.

If you live in Europe or America, I wouldn't get too smug ...

LewDux

2011-12-07 04:27:31 PM

ZAZ: I had mixed feelings about the Chechnyan resistance. They were terrorists fighting for a good cause.

90's resistance for 00's resistance?

Boxcutta

2011-12-07 04:38:49 PM