If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Fark) Sad A few more Headline of the Year nominees that didn't make the cut (second quarter)   (fark.com) divider line 23
More: Sad  
•       •       •

posted to Main » on 07 Dec 2011 at 11:59 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



23 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
Unfreakable [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:37:40 AM
Those of you who aren't Totalfarkers missed the the original three contests for March, April and May, here are some of the headlines that were in those contests that didn't quite make the cut for today's contest. It's not all of them, but these were a few that I enjoyed and I wanted to share them with you all.
 
Unfreakable [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:38:55 AM
Ivory Coast rebels now control 99 44/100% of the country
http://www.fark.com/comments/6078655

Chinese farmer awaits an artificial asshole. Then, after James Franco's visit, he'll need surgery as well
http://www.fark.com/comments/5999877

Statistics show Scottish wife battering increases dramatically during soccer matches. Those savages will eat anything
http://www.fark.com/comments/6071868

Man uses divorce papers to burn down wife's beauty parlor. Split ends with permanent damage
http://www.fark.com/comments/6056337

Deaf school teacher accused of luring minor for sex, prosecutor reportedly willing to accept plea in lieu of hearing
http://www.fark.com/comments/6029984

Two men arrested for poaching deer and serving the meat at Super Bowl party. Stealers lose again
http://www.fark.com/comments/6010148

Maryland Mansion destroyed in fire, still plans to release new album and tour later this year
http://www.fark.com/comments/6048973

Scientists were just as happy to see the giant penis frog as he was to see them
http://www.fark.com/comments/6014836

Rare 400 year old bible found in UK church. Described as being in near pristine condition with only four of the Ten Commandments broken
http://www.fark.com/comments/6015904

Treki defects from Libyan government, Ceti Alpha V
http://www.fark.com/comments/6084614

15-month old gets drunk at Applebee's after being served a margarita in his sippy-cup. If it's happy hour and you know it, clap your hands
http://www.fark.com/comments/6104459

The "uhhhs" and "umms" in our speech may be crucial to helping children learn to speak, according to the National Institute Of Why Is Bob Newhart So Freaking Awesome
http://www.fark.com/comments/6122830

Doctors to use magnets to battle ovarian cancer. Will work great on women who aren't bipolar
http://www.fark.com/comments/6152669

News of the typewriter's death have been greatly exaggera ed
http://www.fark.com/comments/6147867

95 year-old World War II Veteran will get his U.S. Citizenship, Boston Celtics contract
http://www.fark.com/comments/6081887

Police.finalize() in Java
http://www.fark.com/comments/6117586

Police arrest man for stealing stenography machines. He wants a short sentence
http://www.fark.com/comments/6180171

Pope makes first-ever phone call to bless astronauts. He says even though Catholics in space are weightless, they still need mass
http://www.fark.com/comments/6224571

Left handed people are more affected by fear, which researchers say has sinister implications
http://www.fark.com/comments/6179153

Mississippi River swells to six times its normal width, but it's mostly water weight
http://www.fark.com/comments/6187814

Video captures "UFO squadron" over Oakland. The group was disorganized and apparently harmless, leading UFO researchers to believe that Al Davis was in charge of it
http://www.fark.com/comments/6247874

Armed robbery of Radio Shack yields $23.57, 3 cordless phones, 20 feet of speaker wire, a handful of BNC connectors and an undisclosed number of 9 volt batteries
http://www.fark.com/comments/6229566

Court postpones and relocates case of obese woman after she cannot fit through court doors for trial. Lawyers and defendant all looking for a change of menu
http://www.fark.com/comments/6226552

Osama grew weed at his compound and drank Pepsi while chanting 'death to America'. So basically he was a UC Berkeley student
http://www.fark.com/comments/6168708

Semi carrying rubbing alcohol overturns; accident cleans itself up
http://www.fark.com/comments/6235595

How was Osama Bin Laden killed? Here are the 72 versions
http://www.fark.com/comments/6178140

Thanks to Botox, teens on prom night will be just like your prom date: numb, expensive and incapable of showing emotion
http://www.fark.com/comments/6168575

Taliban kills 35 Afghan highway workers, fines doubled
http://www.fark.com/comments/6218614
 
cgraves67
2011-12-07 12:17:45 PM
I liked some of those better than the ones that were chosen.
 
Balchinian
2011-12-07 12:19:37 PM
Man uses divorce papers to burn down wife's beauty parlor. Split ends with permanent damage

Not sure how this didn't make the cut, it is genius.
/not mine
 
velvet_fog
2011-12-07 12:22:07 PM
How was Osama Bin Laden killed? Here are the 72 versions

Lulz. Can't complain about most of the options in the other thread, but I wish this one would have made it.
 
Tommy Moo
2011-12-07 01:12:03 PM
cgraves67: I liked some of those better than the ones that were chosen.

This. Especially the split ends and Maralyn Manson puns.
 
Benucio [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 01:44:34 PM
The Radio Shack line still makes me giggle.
 
abmoraz
2011-12-07 02:22:32 PM
Unfreakable: Left handed people are more affected by fear, which researchers say has sinister implications
http://www.fark.com/comments/6179153

Pure gold (but I guess you have to be educated enough to know where the word sinister originated from).
 
kagemaru026
2011-12-07 03:41:57 PM
cgraves67: I liked some of those better than the ones that were chosen.

me too. farking gold right here.

/needs to get mah TF back
//working at Radio Shack, not much money to be made there, as if the one headline didnt make it clear.
 
Outlaw2097
2011-12-07 03:50:37 PM
Stupid nonmerger with AT&T/T Mobile hosing my headline...
 
degenerate-afro
2011-12-07 04:08:21 PM
abmoraz: Unfreakable: Left handed people are more affected by fear, which researchers say has sinister implications
http://www.fark.com/comments/6179153

Pure gold (but I guess you have to be educated enough to know where the word sinister originated from).

Being able to use a dictionary helps as well
 
kittenfoo
2011-12-07 04:27:40 PM
I love the rubbing alcohol accident one.
 
lohphat [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 05:12:26 PM
Sooooo...how were candidates chosen? I got a lot of positive feedback in mah submission ^ thread but never made it to any selection thread.

If Pootie Poot dictates candidates then fine, at least I understand the process.
 
Unfreakable [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 05:23:02 PM
lohphat: Sooooo...how were candidates chosen? I got a lot of positive feedback in mah submission ^ thread but never made it to any selection thread.

If Pootie Poot dictates candidates then fine, at least I understand the process.

It's a context headline, and it was saved. Those will come up the week after next (I have to winnow down about 200 of those, I believe)
 
lohphat [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 05:37:09 PM
Unfreakable: lohphat: Sooooo...how were candidates chosen? I got a lot of positive feedback in mah submission ^ thread but never made it to any selection thread.

If Pootie Poot dictates candidates then fine, at least I understand the process.

It's a context headline, and it was saved. Those will come up the week after next (I have to winnow down about 200 of those, I believe)

What's a "context headline" compared to...uh..non-context headlines? I looked for my entry in the March and April voting threads and it wasn't there.

Still foggy.
 
Unfreakable [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 06:31:21 PM
lohphat: What's a "context headline" compared to...uh..non-context headlines? I looked for my entry in the March and April voting threads and it wasn't there.

Still foggy.

Actually, looking at it again, I pulled it so that it would appear with puns/wordplay. A few pun headlines have slipped into these contests, but there's a separate contest for puns and wordplay, which your headline fits into.

Context headlines are the ones that don't make sense unless you click through to the story, like these
 
lohphat [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 06:33:49 PM
Unfreakable: lohphat: What's a "context headline" compared to...uh..non-context headlines? I looked for my entry in the March and April voting threads and it wasn't there.

Still foggy.

Actually, looking at it again, I pulled it so that it would appear with puns/wordplay. A few pun headlines have slipped into these contests, but there's a separate contest for puns and wordplay, which your headline fits into.

Context headlines are the ones that don't make sense unless you click through to the story, like these

I had no idea there are categories. For the neophyte there's only monthly voting, then finals, the concept of these categories is not communicated well, if at all.

Thanks for the sunshine on the process.
 
Unfreakable [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 06:55:12 PM
lohphat: I had no idea there are categories. For the neophyte there's only monthly voting, then finals, the concept of these categories is not communicated well, if at all.

Thanks for the sunshine on the process.

No worries at all, I've been talking about setting up a separate Headline of the Year area for a few years now, will probably do it in 2012, right before the Mayan Apocalypse hits. I've explained it a whole bunch of times (mostly in these threads), but that's not the best way to disseminate information, I know.
 
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 06:59:55 PM
Great headlines in this batch, but I really dig these three:

Man uses divorce papers to burn down wife's beauty parlor. Split ends with permanent damage

Pope makes first-ever phone call to bless astronauts. He says even though Catholics in space are weightless, they still need mass

Armed robbery of Radio Shack yields $23.57, 3 cordless phones, 20 feet of speaker wire, a handful of BNC connectors and an undisclosed number of 9 volt batteries

Keep up the good work, everyone!
 
douchebag/hater
2011-12-07 07:10:41 PM
velvet_fog: How was Osama Bin Laden killed? Here are the 72 versions

Lulz. Can't complain about most of the options in the other thread, but I wish this one would have made it.

Yup.
 
bothenjs
2011-12-07 08:11:44 PM
Well I have always thought at least 92 are good every day- you always make me chuckle outloud - which is a MAJOR accomplishment. If only TV sitcoms were as funny as the news!!!
 
MagicBus
2011-12-07 08:46:10 PM
Woohoo! I got an honorable mention. I'm somebody!


/now to go look for my name in the telephone book
 
whiterrabbit
2011-12-08 04:39:57 AM
These are the magic that levitate fark above all others...I vote for them all. Fark On!!
 
Displayed 23 of 23 comments

Redisplay/refresh comments

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
From the Fark Shop:
More from the Fark Shop »