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(Fark) Survey Fark's 2011 Headline of the Year contest, Round 2: March through May   (fark.com) divider line 78
More: Survey, election observers, Australian Defence Force, group homes, threads  
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posted to Main » on 07 Dec 2011 at 12:00 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



78 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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Unfreakable [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:14:37 AM
Hello and welcome to the second greenlit voting thread for Fark's Headline of the Year contest for 2011. We've collected the best headlines from each month and let the Totalfarkers vote on their favorites. These are the 10 best headlines from March, April and May from this year as voted.

Now it's up to you: vote on your favorites, and the top five from this contest will make it to the final round next week. There will also be a another thread on Friday, and separate contests next week for each the subtabs: sports, showbiz, geek, politics and business. The week after that will have the voting threads for pun/wordplay headlines and the Context headline of the year (where the headline isn't funny on its own but is awesome in relation to the linked article).

There are also some that you might not see here because either: 1) they've been moved to a separate contest, or 2) they didn't make it out of the voting threads in Totalfark. I'll link the redlit TF voting threads later on in this thread.

Please don't enable voting; the finalists for this period are set. Nothing wrong with sharing a favorite headline from this period, as long as you don't enable voting for it.

So enjoy these and vote for the ones you like.
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:14:54 AM
Three people shot near Target. They probably should have stood farther away

http://www.fark.com/comments/6032451
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:15:08 AM
Japan quake so powerful it shifted the earth off its axis by 4 inches, sped up the earth's rotation by 1.6 microseconds, and shifted Japan's coastline by 8 feet. So - 4 inches CAN make the earth move and time stand still

http://www.fark.com/comments/6028528
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:15:29 AM
Woman hit and killed by monster truck. Funeral will be held on Sunday Sunday SUNDAY

http://www.fark.com/comments/6050191
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:15:45 AM
US astronomers announce discovery of room temperature dwarf brown star. NASA immediately names it Gary Coleman

http://www.fark.com/comments/6044315
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:16:06 AM
For 75 years, woman plays piano weekly for her church. Credits her longevity to watching her keys and pews

http://www.fark.com/comments/5998437
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:18:31 AM
New Jersey woman steals valuable church crucifix. Police nab her after brief cross examination

http://www.fark.com/comments/6001036
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:18:51 AM
Sailor fighting U.S. Navy discharge after getting caught in bed with another male sailor says he's not gay -- they just fell asleep watching "The Vampire Diaries." Dude, you need to stop talking

http://www.fark.com/comments/6009136
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:19:11 AM
Man successfully walks through 7 lanes of interstate traffic to retrieve hubcap he spotted in median. Too bad he needed 8 lanes to complete the level

http://www.fark.com/comments/6007862
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:19:33 AM
Election observers quit one month before polls in Djibouti. This could really shake shake shake, shake shake shake, shake Djibouti

http://www.fark.com/comments/6035313
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:19:56 AM
Aircraft in Australia forced down by inchworms in the instruments. Was allowed to resume flight once mechanics swapped them out for centimeter worms

http://www.fark.com/comments/6051268
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:20:19 AM
19-year-old woman disappears from nightclub. Authorities issue an all-oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz bulletin

http://www.fark.com/comments/6094671
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:20:36 AM
Teen tries to feed shark, succeeds

http://www.fark.com/comments/6141083
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:21:30 AM
32 killed in Congo crash. See, THAT is why I never participated in those things at wedding receptions

http://www.fark.com/comments/6087877
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:21:52 AM
Vehicle crashes into Subway restaurant. Let us take a moment to honor our fallen heroes

http://www.fark.com/comments/6086566
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:22:15 AM
Inventor of the teleprompter dies. President Obama said to be at a "loss for words"

http://www.fark.com/comments/6147039
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:22:35 AM
Syrian forces open fire on funeral procession. At least one dead

http://www.fark.com/comments/6140467
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:22:55 AM
Boy born without hands wins penmanship award, stumps experts

http://www.fark.com/comments/6090835
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:26:06 AM
There is a group home for alcoholic hipsters in Brooklyn. At least, there was until everybody heard about it

http://www.fark.com/comments/6096768
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:26:24 AM
Gary Busey's infant son hospitalized --- his teeth must be coming in

http://www.fark.com/comments/6129878
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:26:53 AM
Chemicals being spread over populated areas to prevent spread of wildfires in Texas. That's retardant

http://www.fark.com/comments/6131468
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:27:25 AM
Man commits suicide off world's tallest building in UAE. Dubai cruel world

http://www.fark.com/comments/6187903
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:28:39 AM
Car carrying $1M coin collection rolls over and crashes, dumping entire load across highway -- resulting in unexpected lane change 

http://www.fark.com/comments/6241107
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:29:03 AM
Bin Laden's mansion worth only 25 percent of what he paid for it, meaning he'll be underwater for a long time

http://www.fark.com/comments/6178074
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:29:32 AM
Ring ring ring goes the trolley. Argh argh argh goes the worker trapped under it

http://www.fark.com/comments/6174645
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:29:59 AM
Man falls off ATV and is run over by mowing equipment. Don't miss this ripped-from-the-headlines story on the next episode of "Lawn Order." *DUN DUN*

http://www.fark.com/comments/6184948
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:30:23 AM
Police investigating an illegal mushroom grow operation find mason jars, syringes, a copy of High Times, and a tribe of sparkling green talking Aztec owls burrowing out from a chimney that was aglow with all the colors in the known universe

http://www.fark.com/comments/6192077
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:30:46 AM
Gay Los Angeles police officer wins $1 million judgment in retaliation case. He thanked his legal team of Sailor, Construction Dude, Indian Chief, and Leather Guy with mustache, and also Tom Cruise for some reason

http://www.fark.com/comments/6219451
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:31:10 AM
Mississippi flooding moving south, because Missouri loves company

http://www.fark.com/comments/6191911
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:31:33 AM
Barcelona has such a problem keeping people clothed, they're actually levying fines against their citizens who insist on doing everything naked. Nobody expects the Spanish Inhibition

http://www.fark.com/comments/6247831
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:32:06 AM
Researchers find whales speak in accents to their extended family. Scientists listen by use of podcast

http://www.fark.com/comments/6224269
 
Unfreakable [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 10:33:12 AM
For those of you enjoying this contest, the one from Monday is here (and voting is still open as I write this).

There's still one more contest this week, at noon on Friday, so don't forget to check back. Next week will be the fourth quarter of 2011 and the subtab contests for you.
 
I_C_Weener [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 11:00:47 AM
Excellent crop of headlines here. All are worthy.
 
Humean_Nature [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 11:17:42 AM
Headline of the Year candidate: Woman hit and killed by monster truck. Funeral will be held on Sunday Sunday SUNDAY

http://www.fark.com/comments/6050191

My absolute favorite from this quarter.

/you'll pay for the whole pew BUT YOU'LL ONLY NEED THE EDGE
 
I_C_Weener [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 11:20:29 AM
Humean_Nature: Headline of the Year candidate: Woman hit and killed by monster truck. Funeral will be held on Sunday Sunday SUNDAY

http://www.fark.com/comments/6050191

My absolute favorite from this quarter.

/you'll pay for the whole pew BUT YOU'LL ONLY NEED THE EDGE

As a special encore presentation, we'll have Truck-a-saurus eat a casket right in front of your very eyes!
 
Chariset [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 11:40:18 AM
I can only dream of the day I will write a headline inspired enough to stand among these nominees.
 
twobux
2011-12-07 11:42:59 AM
Sigh...mine didn't get in. Another year down the tubes.
 
Diogenes [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 11:43:30 AM
Chariset: I can only dream of the day I will write a headline inspired enough to stand among these nominees.

I think I have one coming up in the next quarter. I'm honored.
 
Gig103 [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 11:54:44 AM
Great headlines in this thread (I felt like Monday's were a little weak).
 
Minarets
2011-12-07 12:02:29 PM
Target and Bin Laden headlines were my favorites from this bunch.
 
INeedAName
2011-12-07 12:04:36 PM
Good stuff you guys. I'm always up for a Djibouti joke!
 
Langston [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 12:09:54 PM
Love Dubai cruel world, keys and pews, Gary Coleman, inchworms, Busey's teeth, Bin Laden's mansion, and Gary Busey's son's teeth
 
Katolu
2011-12-07 12:10:28 PM
It's vote-tacular
 
DrewCurtisJr
2011-12-07 12:14:05 PM
A lot of good ones in this group.
 
The Muthaship
2011-12-07 12:16:32 PM
Did:

Crowd enjoys Jodie Foster's Beaver, this is not a repeat from The Accused.

make the candidate list?

If not, I'm not voting for any of them.
 
Crewmannumber6
2011-12-07 12:16:38 PM
Gonna be hard picking in the final round
 
AverageAmericanGuy
2011-12-07 12:16:39 PM
Puns seem to carry the day.
 
Pythagoras
2011-12-07 12:24:10 PM
Bin Laden made me squirt OJ out of my nose.
 
Unfreakable [TotalFark]
2011-12-07 12:24:13 PM
The Muthaship: Did:

Crowd enjoys Jodie Foster's Beaver, this is not a repeat from The Accused.

make the candidate list?

If not, I'm not voting for any of them.

It was a candidate in the second round of threads for the Entertainment subtab, but offhand I don't know if it made it through or not.
 
The Muthaship
2011-12-07 12:25:11 PM
Unfreakable: It was a candidate in the second round of threads for the Entertainment subtab, but offhand I don't know if it made it through or not.

Thank you, sir.
 
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