OK, those are funny.

/insert pic of Debbie Downer

I can turn my mental illness into profit? Why didn't anyone tell me?

I laughed and got a complimentary upgrade to first-class on my trip to hell.

I'm surprised Despair Inc doesn't have anything to do with these.

It's a cute idea. With economic indicators improving all the time, it's probably the last time the creator will be able to make a killing selling these.

Oh man, I could and should have thought of this.

AverageAmericanGuy: It's a cute idea. With economic indicators improving all the time, it's probably the last time the creator will be able to make a killing selling these.

I LOL'D

They pawned their TV and stereo and kept a trombone and trumpet? The guy making these cards really has no idea at all what musical instruments cost, does he?

/Son just put a dent in his flute.
//Basic student instrument cost more than both my guitars and bass put together.

That last card doesn't make any sense. Devalued currency wouldn't lead to cheaper exotic dancers.

Beluga Heights: I can turn my mental illness into profit? Why didn't anyone tell me?

Morton Downey, Jr. (December 9, 1932 - March 12, 2001) was an American singer, songwriter and later a television talk show host of the 1980s who pioneered the "trash TV" format on his program The Morton Downey Jr. Show. - wikipedia

Glockenspiel Hero: /Son just put a dent in his flute.
//Basic student instrument cost more than both my guitars and bass put together.

Ebay. Picked up both of my son's student gear there for a nice discount.

Not funny or ironic or anything to elicit a grin.

Those are simply cold and mean.

/older and scared, this is not a good time for a lot of folks.

//I'd grab my bootstraps but I sold them last week.

NotSubby: Glockenspiel Hero: /Son just put a dent in his flute.
//Basic student instrument cost more than both my guitars and bass put together.

Ebay. Picked up both of my son's student gear there for a nice discount.

Avoid the ones you can see exposed genitals in their reflections, though.

ritalinchild 54: Not funny or ironic or anything to elicit a grin.

Those are simply cold and mean.

/older and scared, this is not a good time for a lot of folks.

//I'd grab my bootstraps but I sold them last week.

That's why I give out all of my depressing cards with a bottle of pills and a map of the area's high places.

AverageAmericanGuy: It's a cute idea. With economic indicators improving all the time, it's probably the last time the creator will be able to make a killing selling these.

I hated Chrismas even when times were good, so no, he's not losing his market.

Well, Christmas is at our throats again

ritalinchild 54: Not funny or ironic or anything to elicit a grin.

Those are simply cold and mean.

/older and scared, this is not a good time for a lot of folks.

//I'd grab my bootstraps but I sold them last week.

Then just bend over and grab your ankles.

Wishing bib overalls would make a comeback,

I thought they were pretty lame.

Wrongcards has funnier ones.

Link (new window)

Link (new window)

Grapple: AverageAmericanGuy: It's a cute idea. With economic indicators improving all the time, it's probably the last time the creator will be able to make a killing selling these.

Yeah... at the rate the economy is going, no one will be able to afford them next year.

PROTIP: Overly pessimistic, ill-informed grousing is best left to a Politics thread

someonelse: Wrongcards has funnier ones.


Wrongcards are the best. I love this one. Link (new window)

/yummy eggnog

ritalinchild 54: Not funny or ironic or anything to elicit a grin.

Those are simply cold and mean.

/older and scared, this is not a good time for a lot of folks.

//I'd grab my bootstraps but I sold them last week.


Yup, not even groan-inducing, very uninspired all-around.

I guess some people find other peoples' misfortune and/or suffering hilarious.

/especially Germans

Ishidan: ritalinchild 54: Not funny or ironic or anything to elicit a grin.

Those are simply cold and mean.

/older and scared, this is not a good time for a lot of folks.

//I'd grab my bootstraps but I sold them last week.

Then just bend over and grab your ankles.

HEEEEEY! Are you the IRS auditor I speak to?

Time for the Festivus pole and the Airing of Grievances.

Better yet, as John Lennon taught us, All You Need is Krampus.





/it's a Krampus MIRACLE

R3: I guess some people find other peoples' misfortune and/or suffering hilarious.

/especially Germans

know who ELSE was German?

you know, i started this anti-depressant medication, and it made feel a little better, but also paranoid. then i find out the medication gave me liver cancer, so now i'm depressed, paranoid, and terminally ill. i want to quit taking the medication but the pharmacutical company advises against that. they say i should continue and see how things work out. they say give it a year or 2.

bazinga

akchick1971: My dog got eaten by a wolf last week so fark the holidays this year.

That's horrible! I'm sorry for your loss.

/Alaska, the Australia of the north.

And Fark still has no BiatchMas cards.

Want to make this even more fun? Listen to James Taylor's version of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.

James, you're an icon, but WTF. You did quit heroin years ago, didn't you?

akchick1971: My dog got eaten by a wolf last week so fark the holidays this year.

SRSLY? That gave me a sad :(

I've disliked this "holiday" for many years now, and refuse to participate fully. (I do enough to fool people at work, but don't decorate, buy useless crap, etc etc)

I do like Marilyn and George, but because of the hook.

Glockenspiel Hero: /Son just put a dent in his flute.

He should be more careful with his instruments. It will play well enough with a dent in it.

And...you got ripped off, man. EvilBay FTW.

/Bought a very nice flute for the offspring that she didn't want, claiming it was "crap". I have a friend who plays semi-professionally - who just loves it.
//She gets paid to play, but doesn't make her living from it

rebelyell2006: Christmas depression?

That is so awesome.

Morrissey released a new CD?

Beluga Heights: I can turn my mental illness into profit? Why didn't anyone tell me?

Brilliant! I could be rich.

ritalinchild 54: Not funny or ironic or anything to elicit a grin.

Those are simply cold and mean.

/older and scared, this is not a good time for a lot of folks.

//I'd grab my bootstraps but I sold them last week.

This year Christmas is going to be particularly bleak for me, but I still got a chuckle out of those.

/Christmas is always difficult for me
//"holiday cheer" consists of me trying to not examine the benefits of a bullet through my soft palate
///this Christmas may be my father's last, so it's even worse.
////hours cut at work right before the season started.
//I can still laugh at shiat like this

Wow. Those cards were offensive and in incredibly poor taste.


I love em.

/not a big fan of Xmas
//only "celebrate" for the sake of my kids

These aren't depressing so much as just black humor. I would think depressing cards would mostly end up with "so he considered killing himself."

/ But maybe that's just me.

twat_waffle: ritalinchild 54: Not funny or ironic or anything to elicit a grin.

Those are simply cold and mean.

/older and scared, this is not a good time for a lot of folks.

//I'd grab my bootstraps but I sold them last week.

This year Christmas is going to be particularly bleak for me, but I still got a chuckle out of those.

/Christmas is always difficult for me
//"holiday cheer" consists of me trying to not examine the benefits of a bullet through my soft palate
///this Christmas may be my father's last, so it's even worse.
////hours cut at work right before the season started.
//I can still laugh at shiat like this


Don't go for the bullet through the soft palate method. Check out what happens to flinchers. Definitely try some other method because if at the very last fraction of a second you have any even involuntary flinching, it is not pretty and for some reason EMTs will still keep you alive, and if your life is bad now it doesn't improve with most of your face gone.

/bestgore and rotten teach me the important stuff