It just takes one guy to let the secret out. Now I have to figure out how to weaponize the SkyMall magazine.

didn't some guy do this a few years back? he showed the flight attendant and was promptly detained and arrested on arrival...

joeshill: It just takes one guy to let the secret out. Now I have to figure out how to weaponize the SkyMall magazine.

sh

I'm pretty sure the first person I'd suspect of being a terrorist is the neckbeard dork chugging coke.

You are not helping. Soon we'll all be nude in a padded compartment "coach" after our full cavity searches.

I think the TSA will target him for the re-education watchlist.

dustman81: Well, there's someone who just got added to the No Fly list.

The TSA doesn't like people who point out what they do is just security theatre.

pjbreeze: I think the TSA will target him for the re-education watchlist.

Nah, didn't congress just pass some nifty new law (*) that says if they think you might be a terrorist, or have terrorist ties, or have silk ties, or be able to tie your shoes, or own a pair of shoes, or basically just piss them off, then you can be arrested and detained forever?

/It's for our protections, citizens.

The best part about "Improvised Can-Knife"?
No Calories!!!

So much for that tour promoting your new book, PattonX.

A few years ago I accidentally left a razor (cheap Bic single blade disposable) in my shaving kit and it was taken away. When I got to the terminal area I went into a shop to buy a drink and the shop was selling the exact same razors.

/csb

Granted, it was after three of them, but on my most recent bout I couldn't help but stare at my 22oz Sam Adams glass served to me at the bar inside security and wonder how much the bartender would care if I absent-mindedly carried it into a bathroom and fashioned a nice shiv.

Kidding of course, but one wonders.

What a fricking useless tard that guy is.

Heck, for a much more effective weapon, the only thing el' tubby has to do is sit on someone.

While watching the video I first expected Mr. Einstein was going to turn the coke can into some origami-ish type of pistol or something to that effect. Instead, Turds For Brains realizes for the first time in his fat farking life that metal objects often have sharp edges and decides to broadcast that newly found fact to the rest of the world.

/Lame.

//Lame.

/Extremely lame.

SeedFreak: joeshill: It just takes one guy to let the secret out. Now I have to figure out how to weaponize the SkyMall magazine.

Roll it up as tight as you can and truss it with several rubberbands or a good amount of dental floss. Instant truncheon. When you're done with the whacking you can read the wine review or order some lamps or something.

Kung Fu Master Uses Magazine as Deadly Weapon (Hilarious) (new window)

SeedFreak: Oh great. The TSA will see this and we'll be forced to drink Capri Sun in its nasty little mylar bag with it's push-in-and-squirt-yourself straw. Or even worse, Hi C juice boxes. Aaaaaaarrrgghhh. Darn you and your flight blog. Darn you to hell.

BTW, you can snap a credit card in half to make a nice little hand saw, perfect for slicing any neck.

Or, they will pour you your soda into a little cup, and stock up on 3L bottles.

The TSA is security theatre for morons who piss themselves when confronted with potentially dangerous situations, and these body scanners are a kickback to folks with pull within that system. No question there. 3 ounces COULD blow up a plane, and if I had 2 friends, I've got 9 ounces; its amazing!. I could take out El Paso by picking the right train and blowing it up (why bring a chemical when they transport one that will take out multiple square miles if I lob a pipe bomb at it?). There AREN'T enough people intent on destroying America to make our excess security worthwhile, and if there were, then the TSA wouldn't be enough to make a difference. Locked cockpit doors and passengers who live in a post 9/11 mindset that they won't merely land in a foreign country and be released is sufficient for post 9/11 security.

The TSA is also a VERY minor aspect of waste, overreach, destruction of American freedoms, and a breach of basic American ethics compared to the Afghan and Iraqi wars (with a possible Iranian conflict to come, god help us).

If anything the TSA does bothers you, and you haven't been biatching about our other overreactions to 9/11, you are a part of the problem.

I've flown 10 times since 9/11, and have never had a problem. I've flown with a gun (in my bag of course). I've flown without one. I've actually forgotten about a knife I had on me. I've forgotten about the silly liquid restrictions. I've had zero farking problems, along with 99% of other people flying. I'm not saying the problems we hear about don't happen, but I'm saying come the fark on, the TSA is not the big thing you should be fighting when it comes to our freedom, our values, our children's lives, and our gold. Its a minor drop in the bucket, and the fact that we as Americans are so withdrawn and separated from the costs of our warring that many of us don't speak up until it results in a 10 minute line at an airport 1-2 times per year is extremely telling about how pitiful human beings are.

ToxicMunkee: I still like how they let knitting needles through but if I have more than 3oz of toothpaste I'm in big trouble.

That was so you can't hide your druuuuugs in your giant 'Mane and Tail' conditioner bottle anymore. Again the boogie man is just the excuse.

lewismarktwo: ToxicMunkee: I still like how they let knitting needles through but if I have more than 3oz of toothpaste I'm in big trouble.

That was so you can't hide your druuuuugs in your giant 'Mane and Tail' conditioner bottle anymore. Again the boogie man is just the excuse.

You can still do that; you just have to put the bottle in your check luggage and get high after you've gotten to your hotel room.

joeshill: It just takes one guy to let the secret out. Now I have to figure out how to weaponize the SkyMall magazine.

Those staples can be mighty sharp.

And paper-cuts are nasty too.

// Someone's at the door, BRB

PunchDrunkPanda: Granted, it was after three of them, but on my most recent bout I couldn't help but stare at my 22oz Sam Adams glass served to me at the bar inside security and wonder how much the bartender would care if I absent-mindedly carried it into a bathroom and fashioned a nice shiv.

Kidding of course, but one wonders.

You can do a lot with a piece of glass and a simple (nonmetallic) tool or two:



Those first two heads I made were from a wine bottle. And that was with *ZERO* practice: Those are literally the first two arrowheads I ever made.

I'm willing to bet that if you were so inclined, you could make a knapped blade big enough to be useful, but unobtrusive enough that you could hide it on your person and the TSA would have very little chance of finding it. Certainly, it wouldn't set off a metal detector, and very few of the airports have the body scanners. Even the ones that do have the rape-scanners can be fooled by sticking it up your arse.

dittybopper: I'm willing to bet that if you were so inclined, you could make a knapped blade big enough to be useful, but unobtrusive enough that you could hide it on your person and the TSA would have very little chance of finding it. Certainly, it wouldn't set off a metal detector, and very few of the airports have the body scanners. Even the ones that do have the rape-scanners can be fooled by sticking it up your arse.

You could put a piece of cord through it and say it's a necklace. Nice knapping, btw.

I brought back an 8" knife from Finland (Through Helsinki, London (of all fricking places), Singapore, Brisbane) in my carry-on in 2004, and nobody said a thing. I didn't even think "Oh shiat, that was risky" until I got home to the Brisbane airport, and declared a bunch of stuff (for including wood, foreign flora, etc.), and I showed the knife to the customs weenie, who says, "No, that's a straight blade, not a problem!" I turn to walk away with my crap, and he asks to look in my wallet. He takes out every card I have and scans them for drug residue.

And . . . . he just took his last flight ever.

I skipped to the end hoping to see air marshal Dillon help him off the plane.

But, his point is well taken. I always have a ball point pen handy on the plane. And, of course there's no rule stopping me from having a pad lock and sock handy.

Come at me with yer box cutter bro.

agsfark: Come at me with yer box cutter bro.

Grab a stack of magazines and stuff them 1/3 in your waist band all the way around a la Omar in Season 4 - protect your guts.

torch: and a full can is a hella weapon.

This. An unopened can wrapped in a towel or shirt would make a much more effective weapon.

A goldfish can kill a gorilla given the element of surprise. - George Carlin

xl5150: A few years ago I accidentally left a razor (cheap Bic single blade disposable) in my shaving kit and it was taken away. When I got to the terminal area I went into a shop to buy a drink and the shop was selling the exact same razors.

/csb

I think it's all a scam. They took my nail clippers, nail file and tweezers. I went through 'security' and headed straight for the nearest chemist and bought identical items in the store.

Safety my @rse.