funny, it's on the the top of my list. Or would that be the bottom?

All I want for Christmas is a TF subscription!

Last Christmas, after my kid was done opening his gifts I went outside and came back in with a piece of wood to toss on the fire. As I walked through the living I said to him "Look! I got you a log!!". His face lit up and he was more excited about that log than any of the toys I'd gotten him. I marveled for a moment over the joy he showed over such a simple thing, then I said "Naw, just kidding" and threw the log in the fireplace.

/csb

Slow news day.
Seriously.

"You need permission for that. That's what the judge said."

CarriePrejean: All I want for Christmas is a TF subscription!


If there were a way to prespend $5 to negate said subscription, I'd do it.

That's what I'm giving my wife for Christmas but I'm leaving it unwrapped.

D_Evans45: CarriePrejean: All I want for Christmas is a TF subscription!


If there were a way to prespend $5 to negate said subscription, I'd do it.

+1
/can I have a TF subscription though, for totally different reasons? Mine is for science. You don't want to hold back science do you?

My gf's birthday is next Monday and I'm panicking a little. I had planned to get her this one thing, but she went out and got it for herself last week.

/pre-empting the Fark snark, no, it wasn't herpes

Was it herpes?

Honestly, I'd love new socks/underwear.

CarriePrejean: All I want for Christmas is a TF subscription!

No, you don't. You really don't.
Really.

/Love the headline, despite there being no explanation in the article of why it made the list.
//Not that I need an explanation, mind you.

Conversation with the BF watching one of those stupid Kay Jewelers commercials last night.

Me: "Hay baby, you know what I want for Xmas?"

Him: "My dick in your butt?"

Me: "Exactly!"

Hah. I knew finally my habit of saving paper towel tubes would be vindicated!

Currently the boy is going to get lego technics (mindstorms are too farking expensive) and makeup for Christmas. His father is unamused.

That's what I intended for my wife this holiday but she said no way Santa was using her chiminy. One of his elves maybe,but not Santa.

ArkAngel: JesseL: Last Christmas, after my kid was done opening his gifts I went outside and came back in with a piece of wood to toss on the fire. As I walked through the living I said to him "Look! I got you a log!!". His face lit up and he was more excited about that log than any of the toys I'd gotten him. I marveled for a moment over the joy he showed over such a simple thing, then I said "Naw, just kidding" and threw the log in the fireplace.

/csb

All kids love Log!

It's big. It's heavy. It's wood.
It's better than bad, it's good!

farkingismybusiness: ArkAngel: JesseL: Last Christmas, after my kid was done opening his gifts I went outside and came back in with a piece of wood to toss on the fire. As I walked through the living I said to him "Look! I got you a log!!". His face lit up and he was more excited about that log than any of the toys I'd gotten him. I marveled for a moment over the joy he showed over such a simple thing, then I said "Naw, just kidding" and threw the log in the fireplace.

/csb

All kids love Log!

It's big. It's heavy. It's wood.
It's better than bad, it's good!

The late Andy Rooney did a pre-christmas piece one year about mail order catalogues and their prose, one extolling: "Just the item for the Dog-lover on your Christmas list, this item is hand-crafted in Germany's Black Forest and is sure to delight them on the holidays. Order Number 453, Wooden Stick"

/Tis the season
//To Be Greedy
///Fa La La La La
////Good Grief!

modified wooden toilet roll holder?

Need Help Soonish: Conversation with the BF watching one of those stupid Kay Jewelers commercials last night.

Me: "Hay baby, you know what I want for Xmas?"

Him: "My dick in your butt?"

Me: "Exactly!"

I would like it very much if you would continue...

Are these your experts?
/Hot like helen...

Need Help Soonish: Conversation with the BF watching one of those stupid Kay Jewelers commercials last night.

Me: "Hay baby, you know what I want for Xmas?"

Him: "My dick in your butt?"

Me: "Exactly!"

...have I been farking without my knowledge again?

/k it wasn't a Kay jeweler's ad, was the steam sale website...

Need Help Soonish: Conversation with the BF watching one of those stupid Kay Jewelers commercials last night.

Me: "Hay baby, you know what I want for Xmas?"

Him: "My dick in your butt?"

Me: "Exactly!"

And...favorited.

/been meaning to for awhile now...

Thelyphthoric: Need Help Soonish: Conversation with the BF watching one of those stupid Kay Jewelers commercials last night.

Me: "Hay baby, you know what I want for Xmas?"

Him: "My dick in your butt?"

Me: "Exactly!"

This was extra funny to me as your posts for some time have had the header:
"Need Help Soonish [TotalFark] (favorite: Like teh butsecks)"
I couldn't remember why I had you farkied that way, but then... oh yeah, now I remember.

Well... at least you farked me truthfully ;)

Im just saying... teh butsecks is the gift that keeps on giving... What on earth can a sparkly rock do again? Oh yea, get messed up when Im jumping the car or taking the wolf puppy for a walk... How about NO!

Thelyphthoric: Need Help Soonish: Well... at least you farked me truthfully ;)

Im just saying... teh butsecks is the gift that keeps on giving... What on earth can a sparkly rock do again? Oh yea, get messed up when Im jumping the car or taking the wolf puppy for a walk... How about NO!

I concur, though it's been too damn long. Everyone should always be sure their intentions are clear first though, or someone invariably ends up needing to get scraped off the bedroom ceiling. Boy howdy.

Hehehehe... As a woman who frequently wakes up with with an unsolicited penis in my booty in the middle of the night, I think Im running on a different set of rules... Cause that's like pretty much like valentines day for me.

///Yea, I know... YMMV

KyanWan: What the hell was that article? Communist gift ideas? Sure as hell read like it complaining about how we buy too much & spend too much. An old frickin sock for Christmas?

It's part of a kit. You put the pebbles in the sock, then use it to beat the rich kids senseless and take their toys.

Carboard tubes, for instance, "are kind of like the toy at the bottom of a box of Cracker Jacks - they come free with a roll of paper towels and other products but you have to wait until you get to the end of the roll before you can finally claim the toy."

Cardboard tubes make great bazookas. One 4th of July I bought my son a package of "bottle rockets" to shoot up into the air. After shooting a few it was clear that he was a bit underwhelmed until I told him, "Hey, let me show you what we used to do with them when I was a kid." Fast forward to digging a tube out of somewhere, loading a bottle rocket in the rear, lighting its fuse and aiming it at the family gathering. The rocket made a perfect arc and exploded about 10' above the campfire, startling the shiat out of all the family drunks sitting around drinking beer. For years afterwards my son talked about the best July 4th fireworks evar. /csb

Thelyphthoric: Need Help Soonish: I think Im running on a different set of rules

Indeed
O.O

/kinda admires your rules from a theoretical standpoint

To be fair, I get to wake him up with unsolicited BJs too... And if he gets drunk and whiskey dicked and passes out, I have free reign to pretty much do whatever I want to with him :P

We live an... interesting existence we two LOL

Really, I'm not sure what "Backdoor" is supposed to actually be in this article. It can't be the obvious. Or is it?

StoneColdAtheist: Carboard tubes, for instance, "are kind of like the toy at the bottom of a box of Cracker Jacks - they come free with a roll of paper towels and other products but you have to wait until you get to the end of the roll before you can finally claim the toy."

Cardboard tubes make great bazookas. One 4th of July I bought my son a package of "bottle rockets" to shoot up into the air. After shooting a few it was clear that he was a bit underwhelmed until I told him, "Hey, let me show you what we used to do with them when I was a kid." Fast forward to digging a tube out of somewhere, loading a bottle rocket in the rear, lighting its fuse and aiming it at the family gathering. The rocket made a perfect arc and exploded about 10' above the campfire, startling the shiat out of all the family drunks sitting around drinking beer. For years afterwards my son talked about the best July 4th fireworks evar. /csb

Similar CSB, only we used to shove sparklers into the cardboard tubes that came on the bottom of wire clothes hangars. Leave one extended out a bit to light, and use much like a bottle rocket. Absolutely no directional control whatsoever, very dangerous, and I am surprised that we never got hurt.

Sageth: Really, I'm not sure what "Backdoor" is supposed to actually be in this article. It can't be the obvious. Or is it?

I took it to mean "being sent to play outside".

JesseL: Sageth: Really, I'm not sure what "Backdoor" is supposed to actually be in this article. It can't be the obvious. Or is it?

I took it to mean "being sent to play outside".

Considering the list is supposed to be things to give your kids for Christmas, I really farking hope so :P

If there is grass on the pitch. . .

Veritas: JesseL: Sageth: Really, I'm not sure what "Backdoor" is supposed to actually be in this article. It can't be the obvious. Or is it?

I took it to mean "being sent to play outside".

Considering the list is supposed to be things to give your kids for Christmas, I really farking hope so :P

Remember, sending your mother-in-law a birthday card is ok. Sending her a Valentine's day card is a bit wierd. And sending her a gift certificate from Fredericks of Hollywood is just plain twisted.

I knew a guy in the service that broke up with his wife and , exactly a week after the divorce went through, was living with his former mother in law- not a bad looking lady for 40, let me tell you. Boy, Xmas day must've been awkward that year.

My favorite toys as a child were grass, leaves, flowers and seedpods. I turned them into dragons, birds, fairies and friendly snakes with hats. I'd have adventures around the yard, with epic wars and treasure hunts and a rather disturbing amount of predation. No one could steal them. They couldn't get lost. They didn't have to have "homes" in my room. When I was done I just abandoned them and I'd make new toys the next time.

My parents had no clue what to get me for Christmas or my birthday.

signaljammer: If there is grass on the pitch. . .

8 year olds, dude

Man, if I don't give it to her once a week in the backdoor, she gets cranky. If I restricted it to once a year then she'd leave me!

signaljammer: If there is grass on the pitch. . .

Trying to work out how that applies to teh buttsecks is making me feel a little funny.

approves

Need Help Soonish: I have free reign to pretty much do whatever I want to with him

So you're saying your nickname is 'Peggy'?

Veritas: JesseL: Sageth: Really, I'm not sure what "Backdoor" is supposed to actually be in this article. It can't be the obvious. Or is it?

I took it to mean "being sent to play outside".

Considering the list is supposed to be things to give your kids for Christmas, I really farking hope so :P

It could be Jerry Sandusky's gift list for his favorite shower mates