Don't stuff food down the front of your pants

making unfortunate decisions at a holiday office party is a longstanding American tradition, and I'll be damned if I let anyone take that away from me.

What's your problem? Do you hate America Subby?

Don't say doing your wife

Don't say doing your wife

Don't say doing your wife

If I'd have known it was gonna be this kind of party...

Shafty: Don't bang the bosses wife

Ah yes Ferengi rule of acquisition #112 and it's corollary rule #113 always have sex with the boss.

Your employer's Christmas party is the only time of the year you can get sloshed out of your gourd in front of your co-workers and then puke on your boss' shoes. So take advantage of it.

Getting hammered and knocking everything in sight over, making passes at every co-worker who isn't a hag, telling the office biatches and overbearing douchebags to F OFF, and barfing and passing out in the bathroom are the only reasons to attend the party in the first place.

Oh, I almost forgot, making lewd copies of your nether regions on the copy machine!


Good times, good times! Happy Holidays!

38 years in the work force and not ONE holiday party that was any more fun than getting my teeth cleaned. Most places didn't even have parties.

FTFA: For more than 15 years he has insisted that his employees attend a pre-party pizza dinner. He orders enough pies for the 30-member staff at around 4:30 in the afternoon and watches to make sure everyone has a few slices. It's a guarantee no one will be drinking on an empty stomach.

Uh, or it's a guarantee that someone will puke because you forced food down their throats.

Seriously, most reasonable people don't need a guide on how to behave at an office party, and anyone who does need one isn't going to follow advice like that anyway.

Guide also needs to have advice for managers, not just the peons.

Christmas Party was at Cafe Riche in Stockholm.

All of us got excessively bombed. Was not at all awkward at work on Monday

Just saying

/my christmas party was better than yours

There is only one thing wrong you can do at an office party, and that is to be at the office party.

That chick in "Don't vent" slide 8 is fiiiiiiine.

The annoying expanding/contracting banner ad makes this a candidate for the Most Loathsome Slideshow Evar.

DUDE 1 I am totally banging that slut tonight
DUDE 2 LOL, ME TOO! Cheers!

People need to be told this shiat? Seriously?

Awkward or not, who still gets to have an office party?

/you're lucky to have a job, peon

Never been to an office xmas party that wasn't an uncomfortable exercise in avoiding ANYthing that could splash back on you in the form of an HR complaint or whatever. I get a plate of cookies and sit in the corner avoiding conversation until people start looking at their watches. You are forced to hang out next to people that have been trying to fark up your work or get your job or steal your corner office away from you or whatever, or they are just fark-ups that can't be fired because they have clout, and you resent them for that.. And I hate most of the people at work, and they don't give a shiat about me; forcing us to mix is as fun as rectal itching. There's few safe topics for conversation that aren't boring and inane. The food choices are imposed and generally lame. You'd rather be having an enema than be there, but attendance is more or less mandatory, and avoiding it only gets you punished in other ways. And if they force you to do gift exchanges, well... we only did that ONCE, and they learned their lesson.

Would I go out with 3-4 friends from work and talk shiat all night over drinks? Yes, But I want it to be by choice that we're together.

Any Pie Left:
... splash back...
...rectal itching...
... rather be having an enema...

Is there something you'd like to tell us?