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(Fark)   Fark's 2011 Headline of the Year contest, Round 1: December through February   (fark.com) divider line 97
    More: Spiffy  
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6332 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Dec 2011 at 12:00 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-12-05 10:05:09 AM
Hello and welcome to the first greenlit voting thread for Fark's Headline of the Year contest for 2011. We've collected the best headlines from each month and let the Totalfarkers vote on their favorites. These are the 10 best headlines from December 2010 and January and February from this year as voted. I spoke with Drew last year about resolving the issue with December headlines getting screwed. Most Farkers preferred the option of moving to January, but Drew felt that the contest should stay in December.

Now it's up to you: vote on your favorites, and the top five from this contest will make it to the final round next week. There will also be a contest for each of the biggest subtabs next week: sports, showbiz, geek, politics and business. The week after that we will have the voting threads for pun/wordplay headlines and the Context headline of the year (where the headline isn't funny on its own but is awesome in relation to the linked article).

There are also some that you might not see here because either: 1) they've been moved to a separate contest, or 2) they didn't make it out of the voting threads in Totalfark. I'll link the redlit TF voting threads later on in this thread.

Please don't enable voting; the finalists for this period are set. Nothing wrong with sharing a favorite headline from this period, as long as you don't enable voting for it.

So enjoy these and vote for the ones you like.
 
2011-12-05 10:06:42 AM
Software engineer in custody after reformatting and partitioning his wife

http://www.fark.com/comments/5825212
 
2011-12-05 10:07:06 AM
Police enter closed strip club and find several men inside claiming to be plumbers. That must explain why they had their caulk in their hands

http://www.fark.com/comments/5811971
 
2011-12-05 10:07:30 AM
Man stabbed in Woolloongabba. I'm not familiar with these hoity-toity medical terms

http://www.fark.com/comments/5842019
 
2011-12-05 10:07:52 AM
Philadelphia: Catholic Archdiocese creates panel to look at school children. I mean, to learn how to entice more children. I mean, in school. I mean, "into" school. I mean, "into going to Catholic school." For education

http://www.fark.com/comments/5810828
 
2011-12-05 10:08:16 AM
Baby Jesus stolen from church nativity. Maybe they should try nailing him down

http://www.fark.com/comments/5812332
 
2011-12-05 10:08:41 AM
Tattoo parlor fire-bombed. First responders report several people horribly disfigured, but say no one was actually hurt

http://www.fark.com/comments/5854015
 
2011-12-05 10:09:08 AM
Nearly 70 dead bats found in Arizona. Isn't it a little early for spring training news about the Cubs? 

http://www.fark.com/comments/5854704
 
2011-12-05 10:09:38 AM
Earthquake hits Central Indiana. Hundreds of thousands of acres reported to be flattened, desolate, uninhabitable wasteland. Oh wait...nevermind 

http://www.fark.com/comments/5857281 
 
2011-12-05 10:10:07 AM
Moms who take iron supplements more likely to have kids who attend magnet schools

http://www.fark.com/comments/5843770
 
2011-12-05 10:10:26 AM
Sperm stem cells altered into insulin-producing cells to treat diabetes. Researchers say a cure for diabetes is about to come any moment now

http://www.fark.com/comments/5819098
 
2011-12-05 10:11:23 AM
England and Scotland brace themselves for four inches, as their womenfolk have been doing for years

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=5867219
 
2011-12-05 10:11:44 AM
B.C. man hit by stray bullet in Mexico. DAMN YOU, TIME-TRAVELING BULLETS

http://www.fark.com/comments/5894022
 
2011-12-05 10:13:20 AM
Dog found eighteen miles out to sea adopted. Good buoy

http://www.fark.com/comments/5909578
 
2011-12-05 10:13:42 AM
Five wildly popular car modifications that must be stopped. SPOILER ALERT

http://www.fark.com/comments/5904000
 
2011-12-05 10:20:17 AM
British terror alert status upgraded to "What's all this, then?"

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=5870453
 
2011-12-05 10:21:05 AM
Ancient fortress in Tel Aviv home to ancient lesbian urn. What's an ancient lesbian urn? About three drachmas an hour

http://www.fark.com/comments/5859744
 
2011-12-05 10:23:10 AM
Man dies investigating 12K volt line that fell in yard, additional family members die in rescue attempt. Survivors not shocked at all

http://www.fark.com/comments/5887267
 
2011-12-05 10:23:36 AM
Woman killed in fire was kind, generous, warm

http://www.fark.com/comments/5899663
 
2011-12-05 10:23:58 AM
Major earthquake leaves remote area of Pakistan looking exactly the same

http://www.fark.com/comments/5891702
 
2011-12-05 10:24:17 AM
Man wearing Obama mask robs banks, demands change

http://www.fark.com/comments/5897827
 
2011-12-05 10:26:22 AM
Toddler's finger severed in freak escalator accident. Mother says they will take steps to make sure it doesn't happen again

http://www.fark.com/comments/5927079
 
2011-12-05 10:26:39 AM
"Officers believe the bone may be connected to the missing persons." Well, not anymore, but still

http://www.fark.com/comments/5982310
 
2011-12-05 10:27:03 AM
Thai fighters crash during military exercise. Darth Vader unimpressed

http://www.fark.com/comments/5956334
 
2011-12-05 10:27:20 AM
Woman gives birth going up in an elevator. This would never have happened if she had gone down

http://www.fark.com/comments/5982872
 
2011-12-05 10:27:46 AM
Spice drug helps repair stroke damage. Side effects may include: Blue-within-blue eyes, space folding, universe control. Ask your Guild Representative if the spice drug is right for you

http://www.fark.com/comments/5947892
 
2011-12-05 10:28:10 AM
Supporters of medical marijuana ban find opposition much higher than expected

http://www.fark.com/comments/5929280
 
2011-12-05 10:28:29 AM
I said, THERE'S STILL NO EXPLANATION FOR LAST MONTH'S HERRING LOSS

http://www.fark.com/comments/5996408
 
2011-12-05 10:28:48 AM
Hitler's desk set for sale *shakily removes glasses, calls for admin to green link, leave room*

http://www.fark.com/comments/5948243
 
2011-12-05 10:29:10 AM
Holocaust historian not happy that Glenn Beck keeps comparing political opponents to Nazis, Anne Frankly she's not going to take it anymore

http://www.fark.com/comments/5929716
 
2011-12-05 10:29:42 AM
Multiple reports circulating that Hosni Mubarak will step down tonight in lieu of his original plan, which was to be assassinated and disemboweled by an angry mob

http://www.fark.com/comments/5946655
 
2011-12-05 11:02:08 AM
That last one is eerily relevant.
 
2011-12-05 11:22:23 AM

Headline of the Year candidate: Holocaust historian not happy that Glenn Beck keeps comparing political opponents to Nazis, Anne Frankly she's not going to take it anymore


Gods help me, but an Anne Frank pun gets me every damn time.
 
2011-12-05 11:25:41 AM

Headline of the Year candidate: British terror alert status upgraded to "What's all this, then?"

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=5870453


My favourite. More funny than punny.
 
2011-12-05 11:31:17 AM

Headline of the Year candidate: Ancient fortress in Tel Aviv home to ancient lesbian urn. What's an ancient lesbian urn? About three drachmas an hour

http://www.fark.com/comments/5859744


That tickles me in a way where, if Loretta were to tickle me that way, I'd say, "Oh... yeah, that's it... that's the spot."
 
2011-12-05 11:41:04 AM
Why can't we vote until this goes green? Annoying.
 
2011-12-05 11:49:55 AM

DamnYankees: Why can't we vote until this goes green? Annoying.


Eleven more minutes, buddy
 
2011-12-05 11:56:20 AM
the herring loss one made me lol the most, i have to admit.
 
2011-12-05 12:06:48 PM

FlashHarry: the herring loss one made me lol the most, i have to admit.


that headline should have been Redlit. It was just thrown in there to get people on the wrong track
 
2011-12-05 12:09:44 PM
Voting for the lesbian urn one, because classic jokes deserve love too.
 
2011-12-05 12:09:45 PM
vote!
 
2011-12-05 12:18:13 PM

mrshowrules: FlashHarry: the herring loss one made me lol the most, i have to admit.

that headline should have been Redlit. It was just thrown in there to get people on the wrong track


Heh.

/ Applause
 
2011-12-05 12:18:48 PM
I shamelessly stole the Baby Jesus one for a facebook status update at the time. More than a few negative remarks.
 
2011-12-05 12:22:58 PM
Holy balls I made the cut for once. Though it has no chance
 
2011-12-05 12:26:19 PM
Luvs me sum puns
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2011-12-05 12:26:22 PM
Baby Jesus had some hand damage when recovered, almost as if he had been nailed down.
 
2011-12-05 12:26:57 PM
So is it December through January or December through February?
 
2011-12-05 12:27:30 PM

Nexzus: I shamelessly stole the Baby Jesus one for a facebook status update at the time. More than a few negative remarks.


Shameless theft of a crass, distasteful headline. I hope your bag isn't taking the entire overhead bin, and I have the aisle seat ticket.

/yup, got my vote too.
 
2011-12-05 12:31:37 PM

Nexzus: I shamelessly stole the Baby Jesus one for a facebook status update at the time. More than a few negative remarks.


Too soon?
 
2011-12-05 12:32:10 PM

mrshowrules: FlashHarry: the herring loss one made me lol the most, i have to admit.

that headline should have been Redlit. It was just thrown in there to get people on the wrong track


what you did there, i see it.
 
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