Space... It seems to go on and on forever...

I still think the "long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away" was the correct call.

Come on, let's go

Aye Carumba: Space... It seems to go on and on forever...

But then you reach the end and a giant gorilla starts throwing barrels at you

The year is 1987 and NASA launches the last of America's deep space probes. In a freak mishap, Ranger 3 and its pilot, Captain William "Buck" Rogers, are blown out of their trajectory into an orbit which freezes his life-support systems and returns Buck Rogers to Earth...500 years later.

/best read in William Conrad's voice

Space... the... final frontier. These ARE the voy-ages of the Star.... shipEnterprise.

Dr.Zom: The year is 1987 and NASA launches the last of America's deep space probes. In a freak mishap, Ranger 3 and its pilot, Captain William "Buck" Rogers, are blown out of their trajectory into an orbit which freezes his life-support systems and returns Buck Rogers to Earth...500 years later.

/best read in William Conrad's voice

Ah, you just set the theme tune off in my head! It's pretty lush though, so it's all good. Cheers!

Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the drug store, but that's just peanuts compared to space.

Mount Everest. Aloof, forbidding, terrifying. The mountain with the biggest tits in the world.

/start again

It was the dawn of the third age of Bajor, just after the Cardassian occupation.
The Deep Space Project was a dream given form.
Its goal, to prevent another war by creating a place where humans and aliens could work out their differences peacefully.
It's a port of call - home away from home for diplomats, hustlers, entrepreneurs, and wanderers.
Humans and aliens wrapped in two million, five hundred thousand tons of spinning metal, all alone in the night.
It can be a dangerous place, but it's our last best hope for peace.
This is the story of the last of the Deep Space stations.
The year is 2369.
The name of the place is Deep Space 9.

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: It was the dawn of the third age of Bajor, just after the Cardassian occupation.
The Deep Space Project was a dream given form.
Its goal, to prevent another war by creating a place where humans and aliens could work out their differences peacefully.
It's a port of call - home away from home for diplomats, hustlers, entrepreneurs, and wanderers.
Humans and aliens wrapped in two million, five hundred thousand tons of spinning metal, all alone in the night.
It can be a dangerous place, but it's our last best hope for peace.
This is the story of the last of the Deep Space stations.
The year is 2369.
The name of the place is Deep Space 9.

Cunning, nice work.

I always hated that "the name of the place is Babylon 5" bit of the opening. Just doesn't sound quite right.

Outer space...the last frontier. These are the trips of the Star Trek Enterprise. Its five year plan calls for us to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly fly where no man has gone in space.

/Live long, and be happy.

The All-Powerful Atheismo: Aye Carumba: Space... It seems to go on and on forever...

But then you reach the end and a giant gorilla starts throwing barrels at you

You stink Loser!

Hey, Fry. Pizza goin' out! C'mon!!

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Space...it's really expensive to film properly.
These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise, on a five-year mission to use every costume and prop on the Paramount lot that Desilu can get cheap.
To use, like, no fabric at all on hot chicks and greenlight some boldly terrible 'yay, Jesus' and 'Go USA' scripts so we don't lose southern affiliates.

To create entire generations who think space is just a kind of suburb filled with Wal Marts and people with funny foreheads.

Dr.Zom: The year is 1987 and NASA launches the last of America's deep space probes. In a freak mishap, Ranger 3 and its pilot, Captain William "Buck" Rogers, are blown out of their trajectory into an orbit which freezes his life-support systems and returns Buck Rogers to Earth...500 years later.

/best read in William Conrad's voice

Except the opening monologue is wrong, he doesn't return to Earth. The Draconians pick him up outside the system. He's returnING to Earth.

In the worlds before Monkey, primal chaos reigned.
Heaven sought order. But, the phoenix can fly only when its feathers are grown.
The four worlds formed again and yet again, as endless eons wheeled and passed.
Time and the pure essences of heaven, the moistures of the Earth, the powers of the sun and the moon, all worked upon a certain rock old as creation, and it became magically fertile - that first egg was named "thought".
Tathikata Buddha - the Father Buddha, says "with our thoughts, we make the world".
Elemental forces caused the egg to hatch, and from it came a stone monkey. The nature of monkey was...

STAR TREK!

It begins with a book....

The year: 1994. From out of space comes a runaway planet, hurtling between the Earth and the Moon, unleashing cosmic destruction! Man's civilization is cast in ruin! Two thousand years later, Earth is reborn... A strange new world rises from the old: a world of savagery, super science, and sorcery. But one man bursts his bonds to fight for justice! With his companions Ookla the Mok and Princess Ariel, he pits his strength, his courage, and his fabulous Sunsword against the forces of evil. He is... Star Trek!

The Cylons were created by man...

Space. . .the final frontier. . these are the voyages of swinger James T. Kirk, his 5 year mission to cruise the galaxy in search of strange new tail. To boldly come where no man has came before.

Star Tekkin across the universe...Boldly going forward cause we can't find reverse.

MonkeyAngst: The year: 1994. From out of space comes a runaway planet, hurtling between the Earth and the Moon, unleashing cosmic destruction! Man's civilization is cast in ruin! Two thousand years later, Earth is reborn... A strange new world rises from the old: a world of savagery, super science, and sorcery. But one man bursts his bonds to fight for justice! With his companions Ookla the Mok and Princess Ariel, he pits his strength, his courage, and his fabulous Sunsword against the forces of evil. He is... Star Trek!

I think Star Trek is a pretty cool guy. eh kills aleins and doesnt afraid of anything.

Space.. space never changes

In 2266, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Rigel VII underground. Today, still wanted by the Federation they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them....maybe you can hire...

...the Star Trek.

Did he use those parts to make his robot friend!?!

/hamdingers?

Dr.Zom: The year is 1987 and NASA launches the last of America's deep space probes. In a freak mishap, Ranger 3 and its pilot, Captain William "Buck" Rogers, are blown out of their trajectory into an orbit which freezes his life-support systems and returns Buck Rogers to Earth...500 years later.

/best read in William Conrad's voice

I remember watching that and thinking how far in the future that sounded. Wowwwwww, 1987!

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
A tale of a fateful trip
It started at this space station
Aboard this starship
The mate was a stodgy Vulcan
The skipper was cocksure
Four hundred crew set sail that day
for a five year tour, a five year tour...

Take me out, to the black. Tell em I ain't coming back.

Boldlygo... that somewhere in Alabama, ain't it?

Its cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere...

What? You guys can make Space 1999 references and I can't do Red Dwarf? Screw you guys, I'm going home!

To boldly split infinitives that no one has split before.

Tyrone Slothrop: To boldly split infinitives that no one has split before.

Oh, a Grammar Nazi, eh?

galactus5000: In the worlds before Monkey, primal chaos reigned.
Heaven sought order. But, the phoenix can fly only when its feathers are grown.
The four worlds formed again and yet again, as endless eons wheeled and passed.
Time and the pure essences of heaven, the moistures of the Earth, the powers of the sun and the moon, all worked upon a certain rock old as creation, and it became magically fertile - that first egg was named "thought".
Tathikata Buddha - the Father Buddha, says "with our thoughts, we make the world".
Elemental forces caused the egg to hatch, and from it came a stone monkey. The nature of monkey was...

STAR TREK!



My Hero = You

Tyrone Slothrop: To boldly split infinitives that no one has split before.

Since the infinitive version of the Latin word for "TO GO" is a single word, it can't be split. The old school of Latin instruction said that if you can't do it in Latin, you shouldn't do it in English. Now, it's quite acceptable to split infinitives in English.

Space...such as it is...sexy aliens and whatnot...adventure a possibility...ok let's do this.

Aboleth: In 2266, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Rigel VII underground. Today, still wanted by the Federation they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them....maybe you can hire...

...the Star Trek.

Well. Played.

/Bones voice on

I pity the fool that messes with my sickbay.

/Bones voice off

jobskee: Boldlygo... that somewhere in Alabama, ain't it?

Spock, what's that clickin' noise?

Here's how it is: Earth got used up, so we terraformed a whole
new galaxy of Earths, some rich and flush with the new technologies,
some not so much. Central Planets, them was formed the Federation, waged
war to bring everyone under their rule; a few idiots tried to fight
it, among them myself. I'm James T Kirk, captain of Enterprise. Got
a good crew: red shirts, pilot, mechanic. We even picked up a Vulcan,
and a bona fide companion and communications officer. There's a doctor, too, took his genius
sister out of some Klingon camp, so they're keeping a low profile.
You got a job, we can do it, don't much care what it is...it's Star Trek

Great_Milenko: The Cylons were created by man...

They evolved. They rebelled.

"My name is Ben Sisko, a commander. Radiation may have hit me, and I got shot through a wormhole. Now I'm lost in some distant quadrant of the galaxy, on a ship -- a runabout, full of strange alien life forms. Now, listen please. Is there anybody out there that can hear me? I'm being hunted by a totalitarian dictatorship. I'm doing everything I can. I'm just looking for a way home..."

"Uhh man. I'm just so tired of all these Star Treks."