Except that the Noah's Ark story is so monumentally retarded. Suspension of disbelief only goes so far. It's like Star Wars. The story asks you to believe in the Force and lightsabers and hyperspace and the audience agrees to those things as part of the narrative. Some people complain about sound in space but that's for the audience's benefit, like the musical score. But when that slug thing that can somehow breathe in outer space comes out of that asteroid, that's what conflicts with the internal logic and just takes you out of the story momentarily. Noah's Ark is the space slug of the Bible.

And it's by Pravda, and that means truth. They have a record in reporting only the finest news, dew picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in finest quality reporting, lightly edited, and then sealed in a succulent Swiss quintuple smooth treble cream newspaper envelope and lovingly frosted with html.

I'm not believing any of this until I read it on WhatDoesItMean.com.

FTFA: The search for the Ark still continues.

So its between Judaism, Christianity and Islam now? While the Hindus, Sikhs and Buddhists don't care and are going on their merry ways? Ok, that settles things.

Mugato: Except that the Noah's Ark story is so monumentally retarded. Suspension of disbelief only goes so far. It's like Star Wars. The story asks you to believe in the Force and lightsabers and hyperspace and the audience agrees to those things as part of the narrative. Some people complain about sound in space but that's for the audience's benefit, like the musical score. But when that slug thing that can somehow breathe in outer space comes out of that asteroid, that's what conflicts with the internal logic and just takes you out of the story momentarily. Noah's Ark is the space slug of the Bible.

Well that and the talking snake and the parting of the Red Sea and feeding a bunch of people with a little fish and bread and walking on water and turning water into wine and a talking burning bush and Jacob's bovine genetic engineering and fiery sky chariots and resurrection and the talking donkey and...

Assuming the Ark is a TARDIS and that you could house every single species on it and the food and waste that results, it still doesn't explain how Australia got repopulated with animals or why we evolutionary stratification in rocks or why we don't see evidence of the flood literally everywhere or why civilizations that lived on mountains much higher than the one the ark landed on would have perished.

Krymson Tyde: Well that and the talking snake and the parting of the Red Sea and feeding a bunch of people with a little fish and bread and walking on water and turning water into wine and a talking burning bush and Jacob's bovine genetic engineering and fiery sky chariots and resurrection and the talking donkey and...

No but see that falls under the "suspension of disbelief" thing (keeping in mind that I don't believe in any of it), but all the stuff you mentioned falls under "miracles" or magic ie the supernatural. You can chalk all those things up to God waving his magic wand around.

Noah's Ark however, asks us to believe that a regular guy, a drunk no less, traveled the earth, collecting two of every species of animal, including the ones we haven't discovered yet and somehow crammed them all on a boat and did this himself. See the difference? If they would have thrown in a line where God shrunk all the creatures of the earth so that they fit into a bread box and gave it to Noah, then it would be internally consistent with the rest of the whacky shiat we're asked to believe because "God did it".

It's creative writing 101. We believe Superman can fly because he's from Krypton and that's what the story asks us to buy into. But if Jimmy Olsen starts shooting lighting bolts out of his asshole, they'd better explain why.

PC LOAD LETTER: Assuming the Ark is a TARDIS and that you could house every single species on it and the food and waste that results, it still doesn't explain how Australia got repopulated with animals or why we evolutionary stratification in rocks or why we don't see evidence of the flood literally everywhere or why civilizations that lived on mountains much higher than the one the ark landed on would have perished.

It's simple, Noahs step son, Bruce, built his own ark, and filled it with the stuff Noah didn't want, deadly spiders, snakes, deadly cats, deadly sheep, deadly everything, but he got drunk and the ark sailed off course, and landed in Australia. It's in the Book of Home & Away.

"Noah's Ark, were you ever officially found in the Turkish mountains?"

Something something troll thread something something

I've been hearing about this same "discovery" since I was a kid. And I'm 38. I'd say it's a repeat, but this story predates FARK, the web, and most of the Internet.

My main observation about this story is this: In Noah's day, it would have been impossible for one person or one tribe to distinguish between a global flood and a large localized flood. Was there a flood that caused a lot of death? Maybe. I don't know what the topology around there looks like, but it's possible. Was it global? Almost certainly not. Where would all that excess of water come from? Where would it go?

buntz: I buy James Bond. I buy the crazy action stunts, the gadgets, the women just dropping for him. I buy the super villains wanting to take over the world with fantastical weapons and plans. I accept the premise.
I do NOT accept the premise of James Bond in outer space (Moonraker).
THAT is where I lose my suspension of disbelief.

I don't accept that everyone knows his name, what he looks like, and they also know he is a spy working for the British Government. shiattiest covert agent ever.

buntz: THATS where your suspension of disbelief ends? The Space slug??

Yes, the space slug. The whole scene with Solo and crew walking outside the ship and the mynocks. Everything else more or less fits within the confines of the internal consistency.

The newest info in the article is from December 1986. Is Pravda re-releasing articles from the soviet era?

Fuggin Bizzy: Maybe. I don't know what the topology around there looks like, but it's possible. Was it global? Almost certainly not. Where would all that excess of water come from? Where would it go?

There's an Ancient Aliens mini marathon on the History Channel right now.

PROOF! (new window)

It belongs in a museum!.

Oops. Looks like I'm wrong. Turns out the Grand Canyon was created by the flood.

Oh well.

i.r.id10t: whats a cubit?

About 18".

bionicjoe: Fuggin Bizzy: Maybe. I don't know what the topology around there looks like, but it's possible. Was it global? Almost certainly not. Where would all that excess of water come from? Where would it go?

There's an Ancient Aliens mini marathon on the History Channel right now.

PROOF! (new window)

Ancient Aliens makes more sense than believing this crap as literally true.

CygnusDarius: It belongs in a museum!.

It bothers me that I live an hour from the Creation Museum and that they are a customer of my company.

HairBolus: That can't be right. I had a true Christian tell me a while ago that it had already been found but the evil Muslim government of Turkey was suppressing the find and preventing any further work at the site because of their hatred of Christians and Jews.

(Since Muslims are "people of the book" (old testament) isn't the Ark part of their heritage also?)

Yes it is. Both Abraham and Noah are very respected and revered to the Muslim faith.

bionicjoe: CygnusDarius: It belongs in a museum!.

It bothers me that I live an hour from the Creation Museum and that they are a customer of my company.

I know, right? Where is our Athiest Museum at?

Noah's ark was smaller then the Titanic and yet somehow - and even more laughable, it had no air vent for ventilating the combined exhaust of millions of mamals waster. If you can suspend your disbelief on a lot of these issues, you realize that most of these Xtian "archaelogists" are claiming to have found the ark at 14,000 ft on Mt. Ararat. According to the biblical account, Noah and his family and all of these millions of animals were on the ark for 372 days - with the ark resting on the mountain in the "7th month". So tell me how is it possible that none of these people/mammals on the ark made it for 5.5 months at 14,000' with no altitude sickness?

How about room for all the food these animals require - many of them are carnivores - and while the Old Testament describes in great detail how much god loves blood, somehow he magically makes them all herbivores for the entire trip... or other xtian theories are many were in hibernation and young - still you can't fit millions of animals and insects and birds and freshwater fish in a boat which by biblical description is smaller than the Titanic.

The Bible is full of these little untruths which when combined together show us a book that is certainly not divine and filled with error. So Xtians keep moving the goalposts as science calls out their bullshiat...