Totally worth it

Weird Florida Man trifecta?

That's one long tongue.

Let me guess... alcohol was involved.

Police have released a sketch of the suspect::

he just wanted a warm bed!

You rang?

The joke is on the perp. She has herpes and AID's.

/not really

A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables. The bartender says, "You can come in, but don't start anything!"

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging from his belt. The bartender asks, "What's that for?" The pirate responds, "Aarrr, its driving me nuts".

A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a beer, and a mop."

So, what are the odds on this being mistaken identity or on it being a drunken bet?

The Life Of Brian: A bar, something something - piano and 10 inch pianist... I cannot remember the rest!

/I think there's a joke in there somewhere...


A thirsty pony walks into a bar and says, "Bartender *Cough* gimme a beer *Cough*" He sees a young woman sitting at the bar and starts to kiss her, lots of tongue. The woman shouts, "Get away from me, you're sick." The pony says, "No, *Cough* I'm just a little hoarse."

How did he put his tongue in her mouth unless she responded? Is he alleging he also held her nose?

So a priest, a minister and a rabbi, a blonde, a brunette and a redhead, a horse, superman, a leprechaun and a man carrying a duck all walk into a bar... the bartender looks up and says "What is this, some kind of joke?"

The Life Of Brian: Same thing happend to me...

But 'her' turned out to be Rugbyjock...

/I think I liked it?!??

//Have I mentioned I'm drinking yet??

///HELLO? Is this on??

That stirred my loins. And it happens to be a most inconvenient time for my loins getting stirred.

/on subway platform on way home from work

LawyersRock: Weird Florida Man trifecta?

That happens almost everyday.

Now doubt he was a porn actor and simply wandered by mistake into the wrong building for his scene.

Was she hot?

The man in question...

UTIT?

bullshiat. If hi tongue was actually that long there is no way she wod have refused his advances

xtrc8u: A bear walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar and and sees that the bar is empty except for himself and the bartender, a bear. The guy says, "Hey bartender, Gimme a beer". As he drinks his beer, he hears a beautiful voice say "nice hair!" He takes another sip and same voice says "beautiful shirt!".

The guy says, "Hey bartender, I must be losing my mind, I keep hearing a beautiful voice saying nice things, and there's not a soul in here but us. And you're a bear."

"It's the peanuts," answers the bartender. "Say what?" says the guy, now really amazed. "You heard me," says the bartender and he points to the dish on the bar with one of his giant claws. "It's the peanuts .......... they're complimentary."

"So, why the long pause?"

FTFM: "So, why the big pause?"

Jeez, a guy walks into a bar and he can't even tell an old joke properly.

I'll attempt to make amends.

One day a guy walks into a bar and sees a friend. He sits down at the bar and says, "Hey bartender, give us two beers." Just as he is about to take a drink he sees a long funeral procession passing by the bar on the road outside the door. He stops in mid-swig, closes his eyes, and bows his head down in prayer.

His friend says: "Wow! First you buy me a drink and then you do the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man."

The guy replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

Isildur: [i.imgur.com image 640x957]