Protip: If your disturbed wife's shopping list includes plastic sheets, gallons of bleach, eight roasting pans, and a Sawzall, you might want to spend the holidays elsewhere

Or I might want to spend it right here. That could be the kinkest Christmas ever!

Sid_6.7: She's not very good at this.

All the stockpiling simply helps demonstrate the intent and premeditation necessary for a death sentence.

BUT IT WILL BE THE PERFECT CRIME BECAUSE NOBODY WILL FIND ANYTHING BECAUSE I AM PERFECT!

Sid_6.7: She's not very good at this.

All the stockpiling simply helps demonstrate the intent and premeditation necessary for a death sentence.

If she had pulled it off, yeah.

Luckily for him she's even WORSE at this.

Just got back from the store. All that was on the list including Gorilla Tape and a case of sanitary pads. What's up?

/DNRTFA

...and a partriiii-idge in a peaaaar treeeeeeeee.

St_Francis_P: Try to dismember a guy in September.

♫ And swallow, swallow, swallow, swallow, swallow, swallow, swallow, swallow, swallow.♫

"GOD! I TOLD you! I wanted the FRESH SCENT bleach! Can't you do ANYTHING right? I send you to the store with a simple list and...WHAT? WHAT? I said ROASTING pans and you bring back BROILER pans, you...you...GOD...just...stand right there. Don't move. DON'T MOVE. I'll be RIGHT BACK. I'm going to bring you a big surprise right now, this can't wait any longer. DON'T MOVE."

/Oh good good good once a year and today's the day, yay, go me, it's my birthday, it's my birthday
//un-zzzzzzzzip
///I can hardly wait!

*sigh* I tried to link to the Discovery Channel Black Widow Week commercial that was exactly this, but I figured linking to a 30 second commercial that had a 30 second commercial before it was not a very nice thing to do. So you're welcome.

Kibbler: "GOD! I TOLD you! I wanted the FRESH SCENT bleach! Can't you do ANYTHING right? I send you to the store with a simple list and...WHAT? WHAT? I said ROASTING pans and you bring back BROILER pans, you...you...GOD...just...stand right there. Don't move. DON'T MOVE. I'll be RIGHT BACK. I'm going to bring you a big surprise right now, this can't wait any longer. DON'T MOVE."

/Oh good good good once a year and today's the day, yay, go me, it's my birthday, it's my birthday
//un-zzzzzzzzip
///I can hardly wait!

Just had a bro-gasm over that.

Eddie Adams from Torrance:

[Dexter.jpg]

Approves.




Also approves.

Both of these people are idiots. First off, you should know she is crazy because she has a hyphenated name. That's a red flag right there. And she asks him back to the house and he gets in bed and hears a crinkling sound like plastic under the sheets, but her excuse that it's a blanket sounds good to him? Then he sees her holding the sawzall to his neck, she yells there's an intruder and he believes it?

Then her execution of the plan pretty much gets unhinged with a child lock on the window she says the intruder left from. If you're going to plan with bleach and plastic, at least take a moment to think about the intruder aspect.

I hope they have not reproduced...

Gyrfalcon: She forgot the duct tape to hold him to the bed with, and the Benadryl to spike last night's dinner with, so he wouldn't wake up until after the deed was done.

"These things must be done deeelicately."

That wouldn't work on me. Anti-histamines don't make me sleepy. Seeing as my insomnia is so bad that I need to take two ambiens to even get to sleep it would take a lot to put me out for something like that.

WTF, she straight planned out and attempted to murder her husband, and has only been charged with domestic violence?

WTF WTF WTF

oukewldave: Both of these people are idiots. First off, you should know she is crazy because she has a hyphenated name. That's a red flag right there. And she asks him back to the house and he gets in bed and hears a crinkling sound like plastic under the sheets, but her excuse that it's a blanket sounds good to him? Then he sees her holding the sawzall to his neck, she yells there's an intruder and he believes it?

Then her execution of the plan pretty much gets unhinged with a child lock on the window she says the intruder left from. If you're going to plan with bleach and plastic, at least take a moment to think about the intruder aspect.

I hope they have not reproduced...

Well, to be fair, at that point I'd be thinking "Hey, Kinky! She's got something special planned!"

For an obvious Dexter fan, it looks like she forgot the M-99 and plastic wrap/duct tape to hold him down.

Alonjar: WTF, she straight planned out and attempted to murder her husband, and has only been charged with domestic violence?

WTF WTF WTF

I am sure there will be more charges coming.

dexter

Sawzalls are really fun and can cut through anything with the right blade....but I think using any kind of saw on flesh would be really messy....I don't know if she had enough plastic for that.

NutWrench: Vegetable oil, a raincoat and a spatula!

ArkAngel: Oats, a feedbag, and Astroglide

Nina Haagen Dazs: whoa. just....whoa

I'm sure you say that to all the horses.

fusillade762: NutWrench: Vegetable oil, a raincoat and a spatula!

ArkAngel: Oats, a feedbag, and Astroglide

[canadacheeseman.files.wordpress.com image 350x346]

A list of items which Herman Cain is considering using to resurrect his presidential campaign.

I always thought it would be fun to reenact the shopping list from 'very bad things', but I really don't need to give the police grounds for a search warrant.

/Don't forget the industrial cleanup suit, a couple of oversized storage tubs and commercial sized saran wrap.

With a sawAlonjar: WTF, she straight planned out and attempted to murder her husband, and has only been charged with domestic violence?

WTF WTF WTF

Sawsall, a hatchet, and a mallet... if she'd wanted him dead, he'd be dead.

A fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff!


Also...



Is familiar with a crazy wife.

Likes the way this lady thinks

ParallelUniverseParking: Just remember the safeword in time...

We will not stop until we hear the safe word: "FLÜGGÅƎNK∂€ČHIŒβØL∫ÊN"

What the hell!!! Didn't she even consider heading out to the coast for a nice relaxing swim in 50 degree water!!!!

/Either learn to kill properly(via the Internet) or don't even bother killing at all.

Country Member: Eddie Adams from Torrance:

[Dexter.jpg]

Approves.


[www.mojoimage.com image 302x251]

Also approves.



Has no idea.

Relatively Obscure: The man woke up to a Sawzall blade vibrating on his neck, he told police. He said he saw Bishop-McKean holding the saw, and she told him there was an intruder in the home.

While the man checked the house for the intruder

This guy's as sharp as a tack.

the man returned home the next morning

Also, a slow learner.