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(I Heart Chaos) Sad Universal Studios Orlando is closing the Jaws ride. Where are 80s geek hopeless romantics going to propose to their girlfriends now?   (iheartchaos.com) divider line 69
More: Sad, jaws, Universal Orlando  
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2938 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 03 Dec 2011 at 6:35 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



69 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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ds_4815
2011-12-03 12:19:25 AM
Sure it was old and stupid, but it was endearing for it. Will miss its glorious tribute to 80's cheesiness.

Biggest rumor for a replacement so far seems to be a clone of the Transformers ride going in at Universal Hollywood.
 
GAT_00 [TotalFark]
2011-12-03 12:27:36 AM
Aww, I liked that one. Yeah, it's badly out of date now, but it really should stay.
 
Smoke14 [TotalFark]
2011-12-03 01:18:24 AM
I read that as the Jews ride....ugh time for bed now.
 
ds_4815
2011-12-03 01:21:38 AM
^

www.southernfriedscience.com
 
Makh [TotalFark]
2011-12-03 01:32:55 AM
It was still around?
 
Smoke14 [TotalFark]
2011-12-03 01:38:49 AM
ds_4815: ^

[www.southernfriedscience.com image 210x341]

That was awesome :)
 
Jamdug! [TotalFark]
2011-12-03 01:44:17 AM
ds_4815: ^

[www.southernfriedscience.com image 210x341]

That's hilarious.
 
The_Sponge [TotalFark]
2011-12-03 01:47:12 AM
Not a cool story bro:

When I first visited Universal Orlando back in 1991, it wasn't up and running yet.

/Thankfully it was when we came back in '93.
//Damn it so much.
 
Uchiha_Cycliste
2011-12-03 02:02:40 AM
How about in a very uncomfortable place?
 
tomasso [TotalFark]
2011-12-03 03:17:27 AM
Where are 80s geek hopeless romantics going to propose to their girlfriends now?

Probably not there unless they are capable of time travel, given that it wasn't opened until the 1990s.
 
Knight of the Woeful Countenance
2011-12-03 06:54:00 AM
www.dvdactive.com

thinks that's the most romantic thing she's ever heard.

/hot like she is
 
FredaDeStilleto
2011-12-03 07:09:33 AM
That ride was amazing for all the wrong reasons. The best part was watching the shark inch it's way along the underwater track for a "surprise" attack on the boat. Seemed to take forever.
 
Ennuipoet [TotalFark]
2011-12-03 07:11:17 AM
Uchiha_Cycliste: How about in a very uncomfortable place?

What? Like in the back of a Volkswagen?
 
jaytkay
2011-12-03 07:12:30 AM
tomasso: Where are 80s geek hopeless romantics going to propose to their girlfriends now?

Probably not there unless they are capable of time travel, given that it wasn't opened until the 1990s.

And Jaws premiered in 1975.
 
LewDux
2011-12-03 07:17:03 AM
t1.gstatic.com
 
Mugato [TotalFark]
2011-12-03 07:30:36 AM
That sucks. It was a whole area with Amity island on the 4th of July. FIrst they close Back to the Future for the Simpsons, then King Kong for the Mummy now this. The only original ride left is ET and that always kind of sucked. Oh well. Universal is only good for Halloween Horror Nights anyway, which rocks.
 
saintwrathchild
2011-12-03 07:38:06 AM
FredaDeStilleto: That ride was amazing for all the wrong reasons. The best part was watching the shark inch it's way along the underwater track for a "surprise" attack on the boat. Seemed to take forever.

I was ready to snark an apathetic "good riddance" and whatnot, but you're right. They should ham/crap it up even more: make the tour guides "blind" and arm them with phony bazookas, Ray-Bans, and keytars instead of shotguns who aim in the wrong direction of the water canons; make the shark make non-shark sounds (Godzilla, kookaburra, Barbara Streisand); plant riders who dive overboard at stupidly untimely points on the tour; stop the ride at inopportune moments, followed with a shaky PA announcement asking riders to sit tight during a period of technical difficulties, have the PA guy neglect to turn off the mic and involve the crowd by carping about specific riders' clothes or just bash the rusty ol' shark in general; have the people at the on/off stops take the Dirty Dick's waiter approach of being rude, apathetic, and unenthusiastic... Seems more fun to me than the original or tearing it down anyway, but I'm not most people.
 
The_Time_Master
2011-12-03 07:46:16 AM
Your Studio and You, Part I (new window)

Thank you Matt and Trey!
 
Mugato [TotalFark]
2011-12-03 08:04:32 AM
I was one of the lucky few who saw the original ending where the shark blows the fark up in a geyser of blood and shark pieces. Apparently the sucking blood and shark pieces part back up for the next boat didn't work too well so they changed it to the lame Jaws 2 ending.
 
gunga galunga
2011-12-03 08:17:06 AM
ds_4815: Sure it was old and stupid...

Came for this. Have a Seagram's wine cooler.
 
Fisty Bum [TotalFark]
2011-12-03 08:19:02 AM
ds_4815: Sure it was old and stupid, but it was endearing for it. Will miss its glorious tribute to 80's cheesiness.

Biggest rumor for a replacement so far seems to be a clone of the Transformers ride going in at Universal Hollywood.

Probably won't happen. AFAIK, Transformers is a similar style ride to Spiderman which is right across the way a Islands of Adventure and is still considered the gold standard for dark rides. To be fair, Jaws was never a really good ride to begin with.
 
SnakeMan [TotalFark]
2011-12-03 08:20:49 AM
Knight of the Woeful Countenance: [www.dvdactive.com hotlinked image 300x141]

thinks that's the most romantic thing she's ever heard.

/hot like she is

images.pictureshunt.com
 
blindy the pirate
2011-12-03 08:35:08 AM
The one time I went on that ride, it broke and the shark didn't come out of the water. Pretty anticlimactic.
 
LDM90
2011-12-03 08:57:00 AM
I saw it on Different Strokes, so when I went there for real it didn't scare me.

Boring story bro.
 
s1ugg0
2011-12-03 08:58:22 AM
They should just modernize it.
 
BlameBush
2011-12-03 09:17:53 AM
Summer of 98 we were there. Tried to find all the air conditioned rides or wet ones - along with everyone else. 40 minute lines for 2-3 minute rides. What fun! Then we went to the Xena show (for the AC) and my son volunteered me to be a centaur and make sound effects noises while dressed in a centaur get up and shouting "Centaurs Rock!" on cue. Good times.....
 
Liverboy
2011-12-03 09:30:56 AM
gunga galunga: ds_4815: Sure it was old and stupid...

Came for this. Have a Seagram's wine cooler.

Seagraaaaaaaaaam's golden wine cooooleeerrrrr...

Fine, fine job, Bruce Willis.
 
yves0010
2011-12-03 09:41:27 AM
I will miss this ride. It is still my favorite ride there at Universal.
 
parkerlewis
2011-12-03 09:42:23 AM
As long as it's not another kiddie themed ride, I won't be too upset.

RIP Jaws ride
 
TManPsycho
2011-12-03 10:05:18 AM
Wow... the only time I ever went to Universal, they were *building* the Jaws ride. All they had for advertisements was a giant hanging shark you could get your picture taken next to. Now it's closing. Damn.
 
Mugato [TotalFark]
2011-12-03 10:05:30 AM
I'm hoping for a Twilight Land myself!
 
TheSneakerWhore
2011-12-03 10:31:43 AM
Damn...I go to theme parks to people watch and enjoy the scenery. Jaws was one of my favorites.

;__;
 
Mtop18
2011-12-03 10:36:05 AM
Fisty Bum: ds_4815: Sure it was old and stupid, but it was endearing for it. Will miss its glorious tribute to 80's cheesiness.

Biggest rumor for a replacement so far seems to be a clone of the Transformers ride going in at Universal Hollywood.

They are looking to expand Harry Potter Land also known as the " Disney Killing Cash Cow". Bet on this.
 
Fano
2011-12-03 10:45:14 AM
Mugato: That sucks. It was a whole area with Amity island on the 4th of July. FIrst they close Back to the Future for the Simpsons, then King Kong for the Mummy now this. The only original ride left is ET and that always kind of sucked. Oh well. Universal is only good for Halloween Horror Nights anyway, which rocks.

Maybe they are updating the Jaws ride to be holographic to be compatable with the BTTF timeline.

/right around the corner
 
Mugato [TotalFark]
2011-12-03 10:57:02 AM
Mtop18: They are looking to expand Harry Potter Land also known as the " Disney Killing Cash Cow". Bet on this.

They definitely made the Harry Potter land too small. I could care less about Harry Potter but I recognize that it's huge and they did an incredible job with what they had. But it's so small that at one point you had to get reservations to get into that part of the park. And the line to get into the shop to buy wands was like 30 minutes long. A line to buy wands. We're not talking lightsabers here, we're talking twigs. So Universal totally cocked up the Harry Potter land, since right next to it is some stupid Greek mythology show they could have easily torn down to make more Harry Potter shiat. They totally underestimated the demand and just farked up.

It's like Disney and Star Wars. They had Star Wars. So what did they do? They made one simulator ride that they just now updated after 20 years and all the adjacent space is devoted to Muppets.

Except the Jaws land is in a different park than the Harry Potter land so I don't see how turning that into more Harry Potter could work.

Both parks really cocked it up big time given the properties that they had to work with.
 
Fisty Bum [TotalFark]
2011-12-03 11:21:56 AM
Fano: Maybe they are updating the Jaws ride to be holographic to be compatable with the BTTF timeline.

Shark still looks fake...
 
eikni
2011-12-03 11:35:22 AM
Oh, I get it. People referencing pre-Universal Orlando Jaws are talking about the Universal Hollywood back lot tour where Jaws did pop out in one spot. They were also small sections of that tour from other movies shows like parting the Red Sea, Cylons, the real HIll Valley set(before it burned down), the real bates motel and psycho house, etc.

I went in around 87. They also had a Conan the Barbarian live show and a Laser Tag type shooting gallery.

Will miss the shark and the hamming it up ride operators and the cheesy fake T.V. station in the rides queue.

R.I.P. Kong, Back to the Future, Alfred Hitchcock
 
That coward David Lopan
2011-12-03 11:51:46 AM
Well, maybe they'll start realizing that girls want romance, not Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.

Fisty Bum: Fano: Maybe they are updating the Jaws ride to be holographic to be compatable with the BTTF timeline.

Shark still looks fake...

Nice.
 
chewielouie
2011-12-03 12:05:52 PM
Fisty Bum: ds_4815: Sure it was old and stupid, but it was endearing for it. Will miss its glorious tribute to 80's cheesiness.

Biggest rumor for a replacement so far seems to be a clone of the Transformers ride going in at Universal Hollywood.

Probably won't happen. AFAIK, Transformers is a similar style ride to Spiderman which is right across the way a Islands of Adventure and is still considered the gold standard for dark rides. To be fair, Jaws was never a really good ride to begin with.

Harry Potter has it beat. I'm not even a fan of H.P., but that ride is pretty awesome. As for Jaws, it's fun at night, kinda like Jungle Cruise at Magic Kingdom. Looks like my ride this past Halloween Horror Nights was my last.
 
chewielouie
2011-12-03 12:16:43 PM
Farewell and adieu to you fair Universal Studios Florida Jaws ride;
farewell and adieu you fake looking shark.
For we've received orders to replace you with Transformers;
. . . and so never more shall we see you again.

: (
 
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener [TotalFark]
2011-12-03 12:20:58 PM
Jaws is my favorite movie, so I'm kinda bummed that I never got to go on this ride or see the whole Amity Island layout.

So it goes.
 
brap [TotalFark]
2011-12-03 12:26:19 PM
Oh no it's Jaws LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!

Oh no the Cylons from Battle Star Galactica are over-running the ship LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!

Oh no there is a shadowy knife-weilding figure in that light in the window of the Bates Hotel LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!

- All these years after seeing it, it still feels like it was yesterday.
 
Trocadero
2011-12-03 12:52:04 PM
Last I went to Universal Hollywood, part of the tram tour was through a set used on War of the Worlds. Say what you want about the movie (it stinks!), but that set was freaking awesome. Spielberg still knows how to hire great set designers.
 
TeddyRooseveltsMustache
2011-12-03 01:34:15 PM
Get that kid OFF THE ESCALATOR!
 
sovietski
2011-12-03 01:37:39 PM
Not css:

Jaws was the first "scary" movie I saw at age 6. I was obsessed with all things sharky. It took me a bit to get over the first 10 minutes or so, haha.

chewielouie: Farewell and adieu to you fair Universal Studios Florida Jaws ride;
farewell and adieu you fake looking shark.
For we've received orders to replace you with Transformers;
. . . and so never more shall we see you again.

: (

/raises beer can
//pounds it
///crushes can
////evil Quint-eye
 
quatchi
2011-12-03 02:12:00 PM
Time to say Good Day to Bruce.

G'day, Bruce.
 
poo flinging monkey
2011-12-03 03:07:33 PM
Could he propose on a sailboat?
 
Shaggy_C
2011-12-03 03:13:09 PM
80s geeks? The ride didn't officially open until 1993, if I remember correctly. I was there that year, it was awesome. It used to be you would finish Back to the Future and then there was nothing til you hit the Earthquake/King Kong area. I think they had the Amityville stuff there before that but the ride was never really up and running - but once it was finished, that was always a highlight!

It's sad to see all the old favorites go; that was one of the things that keeps the Magic Kingdom so fun; even if the shiat is terribly outdated and lame, grandparents can go their with the grandkids and nothing has changed.
 
rorypk
2011-12-03 03:24:59 PM
BlameBush: Summer of 98 we were there. Tried to find all the air conditioned rides or wet ones - along with everyone else. 40 minute lines for 2-3 minute rides. What fun! Then we went to the Xena show (for the AC) and my son volunteered me to be a centaur and make sound effects noises while dressed in a centaur get up and shouting "Centaurs Rock!" on cue. Good times.....

Did you play with the nipples on the centaur chest plate? They were like bat nipples. I did, and they canceled the rest of that show or whatever you'd call it and made everyone get back in line to see the next performance. I was 13, and it was very funny to me, everyone else was kinda pissed though.
 
quatchi
2011-12-03 03:42:49 PM
Mugato: I'm hoping for a Twilight Land myself!

Eleventy/10.

Threw up a little in my mouth reading that.

Don't. Even. Joke. About. It.

/Who am I kidding it's practically inevitable.
 
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