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(Sporting News) Strange Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine invented the sandwich wrap. No, seriously   (aol.sportingnews.com) divider line 59
More: Strange, Bobby Valentine, Red Sox, Sox, fake moustache, Sox manager  
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6025 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Dec 2011 at 1:40 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



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2011-12-02 12:10:19 PM
in 1996, Valentine managed the Mets AAA affiliate, the Norfolk Tides. My wife (at the time, my GF) came out to visit me. we took in a game. since it was the minor league, it was easy to get seats. we ended up sitting right behind the Tides' dugout.

Bobby farking Valentine, after every innning, he'd come out of the dugout and start scoping the crowd for 'talent'. He was staring laser beams at my gf/wife. It was freaking obvious as shiat.

so yeah.

my lame claim to fame. Bobby farking Valentine wanted to bone my wife.

the end.
 
2011-12-02 12:15:56 PM
Sandwich wrap is the plastic stuff that comes in a roll. A sandwich and a wrap are two entirely different things.
 
2011-12-02 01:04:20 PM
He didn't invent it. Various cultures have been wrapping bread around food for damn near forever.
 
2011-12-02 01:44:57 PM
About what I would expect from the Foot Network.
 
2011-12-02 01:45:50 PM
in 1996, Valentine managed the Mets AAA affiliate, the Norfolk Tides. My wife (at the time, my GF) came out to visit me. we took in a game. since it was the minor league, it was easy to get seats. we ended up sitting right behind the Tides' dugout.

Bobby farking Valentine, after every innning, he'd come out of the dugout and start scoping the crowd for 'talent'. He was staring laser beams at my gf/wife's sandwich, and my burrito. It was freaking obvious as shiat.

so yeah.

my lame claim to fame. Bobby farking Valentine Got the idea of the sandwich wrap from watching my wife and I eat lunch
the end.
 
2011-12-02 01:46:51 PM
Pretty sure the first people to invent bread invented the sandwich wrap shortly thereafter. I'm fairly certain that ancient Greeks, Romans, Arabs and Jews all had ethnic variations on flatbread-wrapped-around-stuff, and can personally attest to eating falafel wraps from Rami's food truck on UPenn campus (corner of Spruce/40th) in 1989.

/mythbusted?
 
2011-12-02 01:47:51 PM
FloydA: About what I would expect from the Foot Network.

Damn, they'll make a channel about anything lately.
 
2011-12-02 01:48:03 PM
Emiliano Zapata - the inventor of the burrito - spins in his grave in disagreement.
 
2011-12-02 01:51:35 PM
Seacop: in 1996, Valentine managed the Mets AAA affiliate, the Norfolk Tides. My wife (at the time, my GF) came out to visit me. we took in a game. since it was the minor league, it was easy to get seats. we ended up sitting right behind the Tides' dugout.

Bobby farking Valentine, after every innning, he'd come out of the dugout and start scoping the crowd for 'talent'. He was staring laser beams at my gf/wife's sandwich, and my burrito. It was freaking obvious as shiat.

so yeah.

my lame claim to fame. Bobby farking Valentine Got the idea of the sandwich wrap from watching my wife and I eat lunch
the end.


Love it
 
2011-12-02 01:52:41 PM
FloydA: About what I would expect from the Foot Network.


The clip with Shredder and his recipe for turtle soup was hilarious
 
2011-12-02 01:53:56 PM
Randy Poffo invented big league chew
 
2011-12-02 01:54:33 PM
browser_snake: FloydA: About what I would expect from the Foot Network.

Damn, they'll make a channel about anything lately.


www.bostonherald.com

/Approves
//as do I
/// DON'T JUDGE
 
2011-12-02 01:58:53 PM
Heard a lot of sports guys question why players don't like Valentine. Just based on his personality, that never has been a mystery to me.
 
2011-12-02 02:02:35 PM
The wrap was invented in Chaldea of the Sumerians during the reign of King Farkurabbi.

A brawl broke out in a beer tent and, rather than abandon his lunch, Ug the Butcher folded up the flat bread that Sumerians used as plates and took his goat and onion order "to go", by crawling under the tables on his knees with a "wrap" in one hand and a mug of beer in the other.

This flat bread sandwich is also known as:

the pizza
pita wraps
Shwarma
Donars (Donairs)
the Boob Tube
the trencher (hence the name "trencher man" for a hearty eater)

and by many other names in other times and cultures.

Pizza, pita. Same word.

It is claimed that Italians invented the pizza (in Napoli) but it is also claimed that the Pizza Marguerita was invented by a Greek chef in the employ of Queen Marguerita of Spain (the Spanish ruled Southern Italy for quite some time, hence the Italian "origin" of the pizza in Napoli.

If you are tired of Napoli, you are tired of pizza. This is why people start eating pizzas with strange toppings that infuriate the Napolitans.

Napoli, was, however, a Greek colony (Neopolis, New Town in Latinized Greek), so the pita with olive oil, olives, onion, basil leaves, etc., was consumed there thousands of years before the pizza was allegedly invented.

And the myth that Marco Polo brought pasta back from Cathay is false. In fact, there's an English recipe for lasagna dating from the 1200s. Things get around.

Banana peels were recently found in a midden dating from nearly a generation before bananas were allegedly introduced to England in the 1600s. Obviously people were letting them get over ripe and throwing them away long before they were discovered to be edible at some point in their lifespan.

The New World is full of foods that originated in Africa or Asia. Chicken bones have been discovered there dating to thousands of years before the Spaniards and Portuguese showed up. They seem to have come via the Polynesian and Micronesian islands.

In short, Weird Al Yankovich was right, and everything you know is wrong.
 
2011-12-02 02:03:55 PM
I'm still having trouble with "Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine".

/I'll get over it
//Sox fan
 
2011-12-02 02:04:51 PM
while i completely agree that many cultures for many years (centuries? millenia?) have wrapped things in bread. i highly doubt he's claiming anything so general as wrapping things in bread. i'm thinking more along the lines of cold cuts and sliced cheese, bacon, lettuce, onions, tomatoes, you know, the basic deli sandwich stuff, wrapped up in your typical burrito-style tortilla or some variation thereof (like the green ones with spinace added in the dough)
 
2011-12-02 02:11:43 PM
images.asadart.com
 
2011-12-02 02:12:04 PM
in 1996, Valentine appeared on the game show "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire". My wife (at the time, my GF) came out to visit me. we took in a game show. since it was the very beginning of the show, it was easy to get seats. we ended up sitting right behind the contestant's chair.

Bobby farking Valentine, after every question, he'd look around and start scoping the crowd for 'answers'. He was staring laser beams at my gf/wife. It was freaking obvious as shiat.

so yeah.

my lame claim to fame. Bobby farking Valentine wanted to phone my wife.

the end.
 
2011-12-02 02:14:17 PM
like most people, Bobby farking Valentine probably never had an original thought in his life. and i'm not crazy about his holiday, either.
 
2011-12-02 02:17:01 PM
VvonderJesus: in 1996, Valentine appeared on the meme show "Meme Wants to Be a Millionaire". My wife (at the time, my GF) came out to visit me. we took in a meme show. since it was the very beginning of the show, it was easy to get seats. we ended up sitting right behind the contestant's chair.

Bobby farking Valentine, after every question, he'd look around and start scoping the crowd for 'memes'. He was staring laser beams at my gf/wife. It was freaking obvious as shiat.

so yeah.

my lame claim to meme. Bobby farking Valentine wanted to troll my wife.

the meme.


i'm sensing the beginning of a meme
 
2011-12-02 02:18:30 PM
Yeah, taco bell would like to have a word with you.
 
2011-12-02 02:23:51 PM
Meh... Maybe Bobby V can re-invent himself as something other than a mediocre Major League manager.

/.510 winning percentage as a manager in the big leagues = mediocre
//returning to the dugout in disguise after being ejected in that game against Toronto was damned funny, though.
 
2011-12-02 02:33:34 PM
in 1996, Valentine worked in a medial facility near the Norfolk Tides. My wife (at the time, my GF) came out to visit me. I had a cut on my finger, and since it was a minor injury, it was easy to get an appointment. we ended up sitting in the waiting room.

Bobby farking Valentine, after every appointment, he'd come out of the office and start scoping the crowd for 'talent'. He was staring laser beams at my gf/wife. It was freaking obvious as shiat.

so yeah.

my lame claim to fame. Bobby farking Valentine wanted to clone my wife.

the end
 
2011-12-02 02:36:20 PM
gah. dammit you guys!!!!!

/lol
 
2011-12-02 02:37:45 PM
As long as we're going to make crap up, I'm gonna claim the invention of fried chicken.

Yep, that was me.
 
2011-12-02 02:46:33 PM
in 1996, Valentine lived in a mental facility in Queens. My wife (at the time, my GF) came out to visit me. I had a psychotic episode, and since it was a minor episode, it was easy to get an appointment. we ended up sitting in the waiting room.

Bobby farking Valentine, after every appointment, he'd come out of the office and start scoping the crowd for 'talent'. He was staring laser beams at my gf/wife. It was freaking obvious as shiat.

so yeah.

my lame claim to fame. Bobby farking Valentine wanted to monkey rhubarb trumpet my wife.
 
2011-12-02 02:46:57 PM
In the winter of 1996, I ran into Bobby Valentine at a cigar bar in San Diego. I was home on leave from the Air Force and out with an old fling of mine playing catch-up. Bobby overheard our conversation about my military experience and offered to buy me a round for my service, with one stipulation- he was granted a slow dance with my girl friend as fair trade.

I found this strange because the cigar bar didn't even have music playing, it was more of a conversational venue than anything. Figuring he'd not have any music to dance to and I'd escape without loss, I agreed, my friend reluctantly agreed. This is when crafty old Valentine reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a Walkman, places the earphones on my friend, presses play, grabs her hips and engage in a methodical side to side slow dance. While she presumably listened to the music, Bobby stared into her eyes and mouthed the lyrics in unison. I asked her later about the music, and it turns out she was listening to Big Daddy Kane's "I Get the Job Done"..which isn't even a slow song.

so yeah.

my lame claim to fame. Bobby farking Valentine danced with my ex.

the end.
 
2011-12-02 02:49:48 PM
GimpyNip: FloydA: About what I would expect from the Foot Network.

That's what Rex Ryan watches while baking cookies for Andover High.



Well of course it is. Would anyone watch the Foot Network while baking cookies for Andover if they weren't high?

Wait...what?
 
2011-12-02 02:50:50 PM
In 1999, fark Bobby Valentine for bringing in Kenny Rogers.
 
2011-12-02 02:52:23 PM
FloydA: About what I would expect from the Foot Network.

Know what's on the Foot Network?

Shoes!

/Try the steak!
 
2011-12-02 02:59:22 PM
 
2011-12-02 03:00:21 PM
GimpyNip: I invented French Fry Bread. Just imagine two giant potato skins as bread. Beat that, Bobby.

You sir are a visionary. My hat's off to you.
 
2011-12-02 03:00:27 PM
In the Indian Summer of 1996, I was taking a calligraphy class at Penn State with Bobby Valentine. My wife (GF at the time) had signed me up as an early Ash Wednesday present. Since it was taught by Jerry Sandusky, it was easy to find a desk. I ended up sitting next to the only other person in the class.

Bobby farking Valentine, after each elegantly stenciled letter, would peek over at my parchment and check out my "talent" for drawing wistful yet diaphanous letters. He was staring laser beams until almost the end of the entire alphabet. It was freaking obvious as shiat.

so yeah.

My lame claim to fame. Bobby freaking Valentine wanted to copy my A thru X.

the end.
 
2011-12-02 03:01:06 PM
deadsanta: I'm fairly certain that ancient Greeks, Romans, Arabs and Jews all had ethnic variations on flatbread-wrapped-around-stuff, and can personally attest to eating falafel wraps from Rami's food truck on UPenn campus (corner of Spruce/40th) in 1989.

If you can get an ancient Greek, Roman, Arab, or Jew to personally attest, I'll be convinced.
 
2011-12-02 03:01:43 PM
rickythepenguin: gah. dammit you guys!!!!!

/lol


Fun bunch. Think I'm going to like it here.

/doesn't care who invented the wrap, just glad it was invented
 
2011-12-02 03:03:33 PM
In 1996, I came home to find Bobby Farking Valintine taking my wife Doggy style. I shouted " What the HELL is going on here!?!" he looks around and with his laser eyes, scopes a look at my "talent" wiggled his ass at me and said " Hey! How about a sandwich?" as the crafty bastard winked at me.
 
2011-12-02 03:05:23 PM
in 1996, Valentine got obsessed with Laser tag while coaching in the minor leagues. My wife (at the time, my GF) came out to visit me. we went to play a game of laser tag. since it was a Saturday, it was easy to kill noob players. we ended up getting high scores.

Bobby farking Valentine, during every game, he'd come out of a dark corner and start camping the the left corridor, which was his 'talent'. He was shooting laser beams at my gf/wife. It was freaking obvious as shiat.

so yeah.

my lame claim to fame. Bobby farking Valentine wanted to shoot my wife, and was a camper

the end.
 
2011-12-02 03:06:09 PM
in 1996, Valentine managed the Philadelphia AAA affiliate, the Norfolk Princes. My wife (at the time, my GF) came out to visit me. we took in a game. since it was the minor league, it was easy to get seats. we ended up sitting right behind the Princes' dugout.

Bobby farking Valentine, after every innning, he'd come out of the dugout and start making trouble in my neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my wife got scared of Bobby's staring laser beams . It was freaking obvious as shiat.

so yeah.

my lame claim to fame. Bobby farking Valentine Got me a cab that said fresh on the license and had dice on the mirror, I said to him yo Bobby smell ya later, and that is how I became the Prince of Bel Aire.
 
2011-12-02 03:11:41 PM
 
2011-12-02 03:18:39 PM
I invented the "I'm so drunk I think I'll put my Jack in the Box Taco inside my chicken sandwhich" sandwhich.
 
2011-12-02 03:20:28 PM
rickythepenguin: Jeez. you guys are killing me.

as proff i'm notmaking this up, i just told the same story days ago in a TF thread about Tim Teufel


A thread about Tim Teufel and nobody mentions the bar fight in Houston during the '86 season? I was like 4 months old at the time and even I know about it. Even better since he was one of the last people on that team that one would expect to start a bar fight.
 
2011-12-02 03:29:58 PM
in 1996, I managed the the Mets AAA affiliate, the Norfolk Tides. I remember one game I got there early, so I could get my favorite seat in the dugout. Anyway, between innings I'd do my normal routine... walk out to the field, stretch a little, scan the crowd.

Each inning I noticed this farking creepy dude sitting next to his wife (or GF, who knows) staring laser beams at me. It was freaking obvious as shiat.

so yeah.

my lame claim to fame. rickythepenguin wanted to bone me.

the end.
 
2011-12-02 03:50:34 PM
rickythepenguin: Jeez. you guys are killing me.

as proff i'm notmaking this up, i just told the same story days ago in a TF thread about Tim Teufel


Ha, no I believe you... just having fun with it.
 
2011-12-02 04:16:25 PM
in 1996, Valentine attended the renaissance fair being held near my house. My wife (at the time, my GF) was participating in the fair as a musician

Bobby farking Valentine, after every song, he'd start scoping the grounds for 'talent'. He was staring laser beams at my gf/wife. It was freaking obvious as shiat.

so yeah.

my lame claim to fame. Bobby farking Valentine liked the tone of her fife.

the end.
 
2011-12-02 04:25:30 PM
in 1996, Valentine was hanging out at a small independant ice cream shop on Cape Cod. My wife (at the time, my GF) and I decided to head for ice cream as well. Since it was a wednesday, it was easy to get treatsand wasn't too crowded. we ended up sitting outside right next Valentines Bench

Bobby farking Valentine, after every couple of minutes, he'd start scoping the crowd for empty tables with cups on 'em. He was staring laser beams at my gf/wife's empty soda cup. It was freaking obvious as shiat.

so yeah.

my lame claim to fame. Bobby farking Valentine wanted to fill his empty cone with ice.

the end.
 
2011-12-02 04:28:29 PM
I work for the Bobby Valentine. So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies. Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about. But trust me.... You don't. I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you don't know what you are talking about. This is how bad info gets passed around. If you don't know about the topic....Don't make yourself sound like you do. Cuz some Farkers believe anything they hear.
 
2011-12-02 04:38:16 PM
Is it just me, or does Bobby Valentine sound like Alan Alda? I was listening to the press conference last night, and I kept waiting for him to complain about the war and then say he had a surgery to do.

/Red Sox need surgery
 
2011-12-02 04:38:31 PM
aarkwilde: As long as we're going to make crap up, I'm gonna claim the invention of fried chicken.

Yep, that was me.


I invented chicken, so you're just standing on the shoulders of a giant.
 
2011-12-02 04:39:56 PM
In 1996, Valentine owned and operated a sports bar and grill in Arlington TX, Bobby V's. My wife (at the time, my GF) came up to visit me from where she was attending college at Southwest Texas State. We were hungry, but in the mood for something light yet filling. Bobby V's had a Tuesday special all-you-can-eat salad buffet. Since it was a Tuesday, it was easy to get seats. We ended up sitting right between the kitchen entrance and the salad bar.

Bobby farking Valentine, after every trip I made to the salad bar, he'd come out of the kitchen and start scoping the crowd for 'talent'. He was staring laser beams at me. It was freaking obvious as shiat.

So yeah.

My lame claim to fame. Bobby farking Valentine wanted toss my salad.

The end.
 
2011-12-02 04:58:48 PM
Seacop: in 1996, Valentine was hanging out at a small independant ice cream shop on Cape Cod. My wife (at the time, my GF) and I decided to head for ice cream as well. Since it was a wednesday, it was easy to get treatsand wasn't too crowded. we ended up sitting outside right next Valentines Bench

Bobby farking Valentine, after every couple of minutes, he'd start scoping the crowd for empty tables with cups on 'em. He was staring laser beams at my gf/wife's empty soda cup. It was freaking obvious as shiat.

so yeah.

my lame claim to fame. Bobby farking Valentine wanted to fill his empty cone with ice.

the end.


Wait. What? He wanted to eat other people ice? Or is that a euphemism for something?
 
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