That depends; how old were they when they got married?

Dead.

Wasn't there an episode of House that covered this issue already?

Coelacanth: Dead.

This

According to several websites I've stumbled upon there are large numbers of attractive teens ready and willing to service active older gentlemen.

Just move into a retirement community, he won't have a problem finding other old women who are dying to have sex. WIfe gets husband to stop bothering her for sex, husband gets all the sex he wants. Problem solved.

how about to start? cause I'm 43 and this waiting around shiat is getting old.

Correct response: "It's a bit unusual for a man of this age to want sex so much, but it's no big deal either. Get him some occasional hookers and blow and everyone will be happy."

Old dudes need love too. They just have to pay.

\giggity

Geez, my mom gave me this sad story over Thanksgiving. Parents are both 80. I asked why in the name of God she couldn't possibly have mentioned this to all her daughters BEFORE they got married. Certainly would have been something to think about.

Come at me when I'm 80 and I will cheerfully drive you to the nearest brothel, hand you some cash, and pick you up after.

It's a simple equation. Just take the number of letters in your middle name, multiply it by the street number of the house you grew up in, divide by the number of siblings you have, multiply it by zero, then add your age when you got married.

I must be a prodigy. I'm in this guy's situation at only half his age!

That first one put my braincar into a recoverable skid, but then I read this sentence, "Tell "Beleaguered Mom" it is not Grandma's job to babysit. It is Grandma's job to develop a relationship with her grandson that is special to the two of them."

/stepped on the mental accelerator and spun into the wall

The words "quit" and "sex" generally do not go into the same sentence.

/other than in "i've quit smoking/drink/drugs so i now have lots of sex to curb the withdrawal symptoms"

Gonna Rock it like Rockefeller!

While hookers may seem like the best answer, how many 80 year olds do you know who can afford 3 hookers a week? I'm thinking saltpeter in the old goat's oatmeal is the way to go here. And double up on his prune juice.

Oh, and if he really wants sex with an 80 year old woman 3x a week, you may want to have his eyes examined.

only thing on his mind is having sex two to three times a week

That's . . . . not all that much.

Can't you just fake it for what, half an hour or so (I'm guessing he gets to skip the foreplay and all since she isn't in to it anyway) a week?

I'm certain he's put in at least that much time every week listening to you complain about something that he could honestly not care any less about.

zombie ann landers should take Dead as hint, retire.

Balchinian: While hookers may seem like the best answer, how many 80 year olds do you know who can afford 3 hookers a week? I'm thinking saltpeter in the old goat's oatmeal is the way to go here. And double up on his prune juice.

Oh, and if he really wants sex with an 80 year old woman 3x a week, you may want to have his eyes examined.

He wants to have sex with an 80 year old woman. He doesn't need to afford a particularly classy hooker. A $5 a shot meth addict would be an -upgrade-, and it's not like he needs to worry about STDs at this point.

Quit having sex, or quit wanting to have sex?

lohphat: dancindan84: ... it's not like he needs to worry about STDs at this point.

I disagree.

Plumbing problems at any age suck. At 80 they're horrendously debilitating.

"What do you mean I have pull out the stent on my own!?"

/long not-a-CSB story
//still shudders when I remember it

Ok, so he has to wrap it up to keep his plumbing from clogging, but it's not like getting the herp is going to ruin his life at this point.

catsass: Geez, my mom gave me this sad story over Thanksgiving. Parents are both 80. I asked why in the name of God she couldn't possibly have mentioned this to all her daughters BEFORE they got married. Certainly would have been something to think about.

Come at me when I'm 80 and I will cheerfully drive you to the nearest brothel, hand you some cash, and pick you up after.

This woman hopes she still wants sex at 80. I mean books and grandkids and knitting sound fun and all, but a little sex sure would liven things up a bit. Even if it is geezer sex.

\I seriously can't imagine being healthy enough for sex and having no desire for it.
\\Maybe it's genetic. My mom went through menopause years ago, and I know from a certain uncomfortable conversation that she still likes getting it on.

dancindan84: Balchinian: While hookers may seem like the best answer, how many 80 year olds do you know who can afford 3 hookers a week? I'm thinking saltpeter in the old goat's oatmeal is the way to go here. And double up on his prune juice.

Oh, and if he really wants sex with an 80 year old woman 3x a week, you may want to have his eyes examined.

He wants to have sex with an 80 year old woman. He doesn't need to afford a particularly classy hooker. A $5 a shot meth addict would be an -upgrade-, and it's not like he needs to worry about STDs at this point.

Oh, for FFS, he wants to have sex with his 80 year old wife.

What's wrong with that? Hint: despite all the cynicism on Fark, sex and love are actually quite intertwined. My wife's not a 20-year-old supermodel, but I'm still interested in the sexy time because there's an emotional bond there. It's part of the relationship, and when life and kids intervene and it hasn't happened in a while it does affect how we get along in other ways.

Yeah, there are some hormonal issues as you grow older. Figure them out lady- perhaps 2-3 times a week is too much for you but the idea that sex simply can go away and not affect your relationship with him isn't remotely realistic.

Hasn't research shown that a chemical in wedding cakes affects a brides libedo and stifles oral sex completely?

Sex is for more than physical pleasure, it is for closeness and reaffirming your love for one another. If you "hate" sex, then you hate your partner... Even if you have no libido and are not interested in the arousal and climax part of sex, you should still love your man and want to be close to him. She's barmy.

grumpyoldmann: Hasn't research shown that a chemical in wedding cakes affects a brides libedo and stifles oral sex completely?

You know it's funny, I hear this type of stuff a lot. I'm married and we have a baby. I'm getting the most sex of my life right now. Wife is adamant that we take the necessary precautions so she doesn't get pregnant again, so I know she's not trying to get knocked up. Seriously, our sex life hasn't dipped a bit from before we were married. It got better.

Moral of the story - Find yourself a good woman and you'll have lots of sex no matter your marital status or if you have kids. I got lucky. (this morning, last night, yesterday after work, yesterday morning)

heavymetal: Confabulat: If I make it to 82, and the only thing on my mind is screwing my 80 year old wife two or three times a week, she better shut the hell up and appreciate what she's got, FFS

Beat me to it dude. Props to the old dude for being able to do the dirty 3 times a week at 82 also.

I'll still be dining at the Y if my pecker stops working.

_/EIP

Confabulat: If I make it to 82, and the only thing on my mind is screwing my 80 year old wife two or three times a week, she better shut the hell up and appreciate what she's got, FFS

This. Just make sure you got some lube, in the event of vaginal dryness.

I just turned 58, banging a 41yo dude 3-4 times a week. Good times! ; )

I can't wait till the day I stop thinking about sex. All the damn thing I could acomplish if I wasn't thinking about sex all damn day.

Coelacanth: Dead.

Nah. Rigor Mortis sets in and you're good for another year or so.