WTF?

You don't "stab" with an Xacto knife. You "slash".

Understand? You SLASH!!!

//slashies

Hmmmm....little info, seeming uncooperative victim, library public restrooms.......

Bad drug deal.

"Samsonite! I was way off! I knew it started with an S, though."

FarkinHostile: Hmmmm....little info, seeming uncooperative victim, library public restrooms.......

Bad drug deal.

I'm going to go with homeless crime of passion.

/also, good headline.

Totally believable. I used to be the assistant director of a public library and let me tell you....some crazy shiat went on in that place, especially in the bathrooms.

wehavethefacts Add Favorite User Quote 2011-12-01 04:00:27 PM Ignore User
"Samsonite! I was way off! I knew it started with an S, though."

ha-ha-ha-ha... worm farms.


and well played subby.

The library, black peoples internet.

Oh stabbed in a library, time for my cool story bro moment:

At my library, every night the television downstairs is turned on from 6:30 to 7:30 showing first BBC world news then ABC National news. This is advertised on the multiscreen display system which runs through the TV for the rest of the day. At a conservative estimate, this particular advert scrolls by at least once every 5 minutes.

The volume for this is always at the same level.

Tonight a lady (genetically only) comes over at 7:00pm and says "Look I have been patient with you but could you turn the news off, cause my children are here." to which I replied that the TV is on every night between 6:30 and 7:30 as advertised and that I wouldn't turn it off. To which she stormed back to the computer where she was muttering that she hopes someone treats me like that when I have kids one day.

7:30, TV goes back to regular multiscreen display.

7:45 she comes over to the desk with her 4 children with their cards and books, I check out the books saying no more than the regular "thank you" etc when handed the cards. She then launches into tirade about me being an "Arsehole" for not turning off the TV and that the reason children ages 8, 9, and 10 (all ages were slowly enunciated) were being violent and stabbing people etc was because of the violence on TV. She then said that she had been in the library "Zillions" of times before and the TV had always been turned down when there were children around.

Repeatedly calling me an arsehole she then goes into a further rant about how "when I have children" to which at this point fed up with being called an arsehole by some trailer trash as she was surrounded by her 4 retarded children (possibly an exaggeration only 2 are definitely retarded, I suspect foetal alcohol syndrome) I pointed out that I wasn't going to have children. She then (screeching at this point) demanded my name, which I gave her and simultaneously handed her an official complaint form.

She threw the form back at me screaming that she didn't need it and that she was going to ruin my life. I enquired if this meant she was going to make me watch the news. (OK I admit that was unprofessional, but im not paid to put up with that level of stupidity.) This turned into a several minute long rant interspersed with plenty more profanity and abuse of how she knew "people" and was going to financially ruin me and that now she knew my name I would never get finance for anything ever again in my life. Of course at this point I was grinning like a maniac as it was all I could do to not fall over laughing. Possibly not the best idea as it certainly didn't calm her down. Although I tried to dissuade her by agreeing with everything she said and wishing her a nice day. That always works for McDonalds doesn't it?

After a bit more abuse I enquired as to how she felt about swearing in front of the children.

At this point she had what I can only describe as a psychotic episode, screaming she ran over to the edge of the desk flailing her chubby arms at me and attempting to stab me with a pen. (Probably a good thing the desk is 1m wide and she couldn't get her fat arse over it.) She showed off her hulk like rage, snapping and throwing the pen at me, then a couple of signs on the desk, at which point I just picked up the phone and called the police.

Her eldest retard son, proving the apples hadn't fallen far, reached over and grabbed the phone line, breaking it as I was half way through the conversation with the police officer on the other end. They stormed out of the library with more profanity as the police called back on another phone. After completing my report and indicating that the police didn't need to attend I then joked with the other staff about how it must be the evil TV and the news that would make her children violent and not the psychotic display by their mother.

Just another fine example of why people should be required to get a license to have children, and why some should just be sterilised.

Greymalkin: Oh stabbed in a library, time for my cool story bro moment:

At my library, every night the television downstairs is turned on from 6:30 to 7:30 showing first BBC world news then ABC National news. This is advertised on the multiscreen display system which runs through the TV for the rest of the day. At a conservative estimate, this particular advert scrolls by at least once every 5 minutes.

The volume for this is always at the same level.

Tonight a lady (genetically only) comes over at 7:00pm and says "Look I have been patient with you but could you turn the news off, cause my children are here." to which I replied that the TV is on every night between 6:30 and 7:30 as advertised and that I wouldn't turn it off. To which she stormed back to the computer where she was muttering that she hopes someone treats me like that when I have kids one day.

7:30, TV goes back to regular multiscreen display.

7:45 she comes over to the desk with her 4 children with their cards and books, I check out the books saying no more than the regular "thank you" etc when handed the cards. She then launches into tirade about me being an "Arsehole" for not turning off the TV and that the reason children ages 8, 9, and 10 (all ages were slowly enunciated) were being violent and stabbing people etc was because of the violence on TV. She then said that she had been in the library "Zillions" of times before and the TV had always been turned down when there were children around.

Repeatedly calling me an arsehole she then goes into a further rant about how "when I have children" to which at this point fed up with being called an arsehole by some trailer trash as she was surrounded by her 4 retarded children (possibly an exaggeration only 2 are definitely retarded, I suspect foetal alcohol syndrome) I pointed out that I wasn't going to have children. She then (screeching at this point) demanded my name, which I gave her and simultaneously handed her an official complaint form.

She threw the form back at me screaming that she didn't need it and that she was going to ruin my life. I enquired if this meant she was going to make me watch the news. (OK I admit that was unprofessional, but im not paid to put up with that level of stupidity.) This turned into a several minute long rant interspersed with plenty more profanity and abuse of how she knew "people" and was going to financially ruin me and that now she knew my name I would never get finance for anything ever again in my life. Of course at this point I was grinning like a maniac as it was all I could do to not fall over laughing. Possibly not the best idea as it certainly didn't calm her down. Although I tried to dissuade her by agreeing with everything she said and wishing her a nice day. That always works for McDonalds doesn't it?

After a bit more abuse I enquired as to how she felt about swearing in front of the children.

At this point she had what I can only describe as a psychotic episode, screaming she ran over to the edge of the desk flailing her chubby arms at me and attempting to stab me with a pen. (Probably a good thing the desk is 1m wide and she couldn't get her fat arse over it.) She showed off her hulk like rage, snapping and throwing the pen at me, then a couple of signs on the desk, at which point I just picked up the phone and called the police.

Her eldest retard son, proving the apples hadn't fallen far, reached over and grabbed the phone line, breaking it as I was half way through the conversation with the police officer on the other end. They stormed out of the library with more profanity as the police called back on another phone. After completing my report and indicating that the police didn't need to attend I then joked with the other staff about how it must be the evil TV and the news that would make her children violent and not the psychotic display by their mother.

Just another fine example of why people should be required to get a license to have children, and why some should just be sterilised.

When I worked in a public library, we had a name for incidents like this: Tuesday afternoon. And the nutjobs would always seem to show up on the days when we either didn't have a security guard in the building or we had one that openly didn't give a shiat.

Greymalkin: Oh stabbed in a library, time for my cool story bro moment:

At my library, every night the television downstairs is turned on from 6:30 to 7:30 showing first BBC world news then ABC National news. This is advertised on the multiscreen display system which runs through the TV for the rest of the day. At a conservative estimate, this particular advert scrolls by at least once every 5 minutes.

The volume for this is always at the same level.

Tonight a lady (genetically only) comes over at 7:00pm and says "Look I have been patient with you but could you turn the news off, cause my children are here." to which I replied that the TV is on every night between 6:30 and 7:30 as advertised and that I wouldn't turn it off. To which she stormed back to the computer where she was muttering that she hopes someone treats me like that when I have kids one day.

7:30, TV goes back to regular multiscreen display.

7:45 she comes over to the desk with her 4 children with their cards and books, I check out the books saying no more than the regular "thank you" etc when handed the cards. She then launches into tirade about me being an "Arsehole" for not turning off the TV and that the reason children ages 8, 9, and 10 (all ages were slowly enunciated) were being violent and stabbing people etc was because of the violence on TV. She then said that she had been in the library "Zillions" of times before and the TV had always been turned down when there were children around.

Repeatedly calling me an arsehole she then goes into a further rant about how "when I have children" to which at this point fed up with being called an arsehole by some trailer trash as she was surrounded by her 4 retarded children (possibly an exaggeration only 2 are definitely retarded, I suspect foetal alcohol syndrome) I pointed out that I wasn't going to have children. She then (screeching at this point) demanded my name, which I gave her and simultaneously handed her an official complaint form.

She threw the form back at me screaming that she didn't need it and that she was going to ruin my life. I enquired if this meant she was going to make me watch the news. (OK I admit that was unprofessional, but im not paid to put up with that level of stupidity.) This turned into a several minute long rant interspersed with plenty more profanity and abuse of how she knew "people" and was going to financially ruin me and that now she knew my name I would never get finance for anything ever again in my life. Of course at this point I was grinning like a maniac as it was all I could do to not fall over laughing. Possibly not the best idea as it certainly didn't calm her down. Although I tried to dissuade her by agreeing with everything she said and wishing her a nice day. That always works for McDonalds doesn't it?

After a bit more abuse I enquired as to how she felt about swearing in front of the children.

At this point she had what I can only describe as a psychotic episode, screaming she ran over to the edge of the desk flailing her chubby arms at me and attempting to stab me with a pen. (Probably a good thing the desk is 1m wide and she couldn't get her fat arse over it.) She showed off her hulk like rage, snapping and throwing the pen at me, then a couple of signs on the desk, at which point I just picked up the phone and called the police.

Her eldest retard son, proving the apples hadn't fallen far, reached over and grabbed the phone line, breaking it as I was half way through the conversation with the police officer on the other end. They stormed out of the library with more profanity as the police called back on another phone. After completing my report and indicating that the police didn't need to attend I then joked with the other staff about how it must be the evil TV and the news that would make her children violent and not the psychotic display by their mother.

Just another fine example of why people should be required to get a license to have children, and why some should just be sterilised.

Something similar happened to me, only with a child-less crazy woman who attacked me because we purposely deleted all of the Brittany Spears photos she had downloaded and saved to one of the public computers. We didn't, of course. The computers automatically rebooted every night and reverted to a saved image. There were even signs posted warning patrons not to save stuff to the computers. She threw her half-full coffee cup at me and screamed about how much time she had spent downloading the pictures and how I had absolutely no respect for people like her who made my job possible.

/don't miss the library

"Owww! I was stabbed!"

"In the abdomen?"

"No, the library!"

I believe it was Professor Plum, but perhaps it was Miss Scarlet

Hmmm...for a minute I thought I was reading a thread on library-mofo.

/Sometimes I actually miss working at a public library

"Don't you know the Dewey Decimal system?"