If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Guy) Amusing Ways to know a first date has gone wrong: 1. You fall asleep on her couch. 2. You wake up bleeding. 3. She's from a town called Bumpass   (newsleader.com) divider line 35
More: Amusing  
•       •       •

6290 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Dec 2011 at 3:00 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



35 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
mkultra4013 [TotalFark]
2011-12-01 10:26:50 AM
At least she didn't release the Bumpass hounds on him.

/I saw what they did to a turkey one time!
 
culebra
2011-12-01 10:37:04 AM
Sonsabiatches! Bumpuses!
 
Nickdude [TotalFark]
2011-12-01 11:08:27 AM
www.flicklives.com

BUMPASS!!
 
RussianPooper [TotalFark]
2011-12-01 11:10:11 AM
Java Man-->Neanderthal Man-->Cro-Magnon Man-->Bottle-wielding Bumpass woman
 
The_Sponge [TotalFark]
2011-12-01 12:55:45 PM
I came here for "A Christmas Story" references, and I leave satisfied.
 
Spandau [TotalFark]
2011-12-01 01:00:54 PM
Holy crap! My uncle lives in Bumpass!
 
m1ke
2011-12-01 03:04:48 PM
Sounds like a pretty interesting night. I hope they make it!
 
KrispyKritter
2011-12-01 03:06:12 PM
She could have put his eye out.
 
UNAUTHORIZED FINGER [TotalFark]
2011-12-01 03:06:19 PM
Welcome to Bumpass Hell:

media-cdn.tripadvisor.com

Mount Lassen.
 
BigMax
2011-12-01 03:07:03 PM
Did they, or did they not, bump asses?
 
Albino Squid
2011-12-01 03:07:44 PM
Oh, the difference that a comma would make with the article's headline.
 
Evil-Imposter
2011-12-01 03:08:51 PM
BigMax: Did they, or did they not, bump asses?

Maybe he tried and she said "Not a finger!". The assault ensued shortly after.
 
KidneyStone [TotalFark]
2011-12-01 03:10:14 PM
38 year old guy, 20 year gal....that certainly sets up the scene for this
 
I alone am best
2011-12-01 03:11:03 PM
I like how the woman went straight to the "I'm innocent he tried to sexually assault me" defense.
 
fappomatic
2011-12-01 03:12:46 PM
If you're from Bumpass & Ruckersville, VA, that kind of thing is practically a sport. They were in Waynesboro. Perhaps they were there for a competition? I'll bet Monday's arraignment docket was hell.
 
TheIndependent
2011-12-01 03:14:24 PM
I alone am best: I like how the woman went straight to the "I'm innocent he tried to sexually assault me" defense.

I can't believe the cops didn't fall for it??
 
Carousel Beast
2011-12-01 03:16:14 PM
TheIndependent: I alone am best: I like how the woman went straight to the "I'm innocent he tried to sexually assault me" defense.

I can't believe the cops didn't fall for it??

Came in here to post this.
 
Theaetetus
2011-12-01 03:16:46 PM
I alone am best: I like how the woman went straight to the "I'm innocent he tried to sexually assault me" defense.

I'm sure that you will no doubt take this as evidence that all women are liars, and quietly disregard the fact that she, not he, was charged with a crime.
 
Why Yes I Am A Wizard
2011-12-01 03:18:58 PM
I have had dates like that.

Wake up in pain and say, "What the hell!?"

Lucky for me a whip crack follows, "You mean 'what the hell, Madam!'"

"Yes Mistress"
 
Rip Dashrock
2011-12-01 03:20:33 PM
Bleeding from where?
 
Tranquil Hegemony
2011-12-01 03:21:30 PM
"Man suffers head gash on date with woman"

He got head and gash? Sounds like a good first date to me.
 
dervish16108
2011-12-01 03:26:02 PM
And I thought Dumfries was a weird town name.
 
lstreiff
2011-12-01 03:26:15 PM
Bumpass? Bumpass.
 
lstreiff
2011-12-01 03:27:05 PM
lstreiff: Bumpass? Bumpass.

What I meant to include:

fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net
 
SkunkWerks
2011-12-01 03:29:31 PM
Nickdude: [www.flicklives.com image 640x426]

BUMPASS!!

Done in one.

/fortunately she didn't gash him and steal his thanksgiving turkey.
 
Prank Monkey
2011-12-01 03:42:39 PM
I'm trying to picture a bottle of salt big enough to cause a 20 stitch headwound. I don't think I've ever even seen a bottle of salt, just that round cardboard jar thingy. Also, this chick must have a freaken blow hole and a harpoon in her ass to date a guy 18 years older than she is.
 
Profedius
2011-12-01 04:00:14 PM
What was he doing sleeping on the couch after the first date?
 
I alone am best
2011-12-01 04:11:44 PM
Theaetetus: I alone am best: I like how the woman went straight to the "I'm innocent he tried to sexually assault me" defense.

I'm sure that you will no doubt take this as evidence that all women are liars, and quietly disregard the fact that she, not he, was charged with a crime.

There is a reason she did it. If you would like to know my guess as to why she did it I will be more than happy to tell you.

It usually works. Please see the duke lacrosse team for further explanation.
 
Incog_Neeto
2011-12-01 04:13:04 PM
Profedius: What was he doing sleeping on the couch after the first date?

Obviously the little tease wouldn't let him sleep in the bed
 
I alone am best
2011-12-01 04:16:55 PM
Prank Monkey: I'm trying to picture a bottle of salt big enough to cause a 20 stitch headwound. I don't think I've ever even seen a bottle of salt, just that round cardboard jar thingy. Also, this chick must have a freaken blow hole and a harpoon in her ass to date a guy 18 years older than she is.

Salt shakers are made of glass and 20 stiches isnt that much.
 
nickerj1
2011-12-01 04:19:26 PM
lstreiff: lstreiff: Bumpass? Bumpass.

What I meant to include:

[fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net image 356x475]

This looks exactly like my ex. Where'd you get that picture?

/serious
 
lstreiff
2011-12-01 04:32:38 PM
hernickerj1: lstreiff: lstreiff: Bumpass? Bumpass.

What I meant to include:

[fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net image 356x475]

This looks exactly like my ex. Where'd you get that picture?

/serious

From what I assume is her Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000603550166
 
Midnight Rambler [TotalFark]
2011-12-01 05:35:43 PM
Albino Squid: Oh, the difference that a comma would make with the article's headline.

You, my friend, are brilliant.

/I loll'd
 
Twitch Boy [TotalFark]
2011-12-01 08:58:59 PM
Rodger Bumpass, voice of Squidward, approves.
 
Porous Horace
2011-12-01 11:56:50 PM
Bump ass
Bum pass

No matter how you split it, it doesn't come out good.

Also, the post count was at 34 when I got here.

Also also, let bleeding sleep.
 
Displayed 35 of 35 comments

Redisplay/refresh comments

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
From the Fark Shop:
More from the Fark Shop »