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(Canada.com) Stupid 29-year-old virgins seeking men. I guess if there are 20 of them, I'm in   (canada.com) divider line 210
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12344 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Dec 2011 at 1:18 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



210 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-12-01 10:35:35 AM
The blue eyed blonde on the far right of the photo is the only one I'd bang. But she's waiting until marriage, so she's a fool.
 
2011-12-01 10:45:37 AM
Whether you're a slut or a virgin, why do you think the world needs to know what's either going or not going into your vagina?

Want to wait until marriage? Knock yourself out. Want to take on the whole rugby team? Knock yourself up. We don't need a reality show about it, thanks.
 
2011-12-01 11:02:19 AM
TeddyRooseveltsMustache: The blue eyed blonde on the far right of the photo is the only one I'd bang. But she's waiting until marriage, so she's a fool.

Can I corrupt the one on the left then?
 
2011-12-01 12:37:02 PM
miss diminutive: Whether you're a slut or a virgin, why do you think the world needs to know what's either going or not going into your vagina?

Want to wait until marriage? Knock yourself out.


29 is an issue all by itself, though. Pretty drastic for a woman, borderline deal breaker for a man.

/And yes, there ought to be a double standard.
/Sex is social. Society works a certain way.
 
2011-12-01 12:45:17 PM
I'd say no. If they haven't had sex by now, they'll be lame.
 
2011-12-01 01:07:43 PM
This^ is why you don't wait until marriage to touch the opposite sex.
 
2011-12-01 01:21:27 PM
Thanks for letting me know in advance you are all religious nutjobs. I will be leaving you alone.
 
2011-12-01 01:21:37 PM
Ew, subby. Was Fark just Sanduskied by the headline?
 
2011-12-01 01:21:52 PM
Have to marry them first?

No thanks. That is way too expensive.
 
2011-12-01 01:22:21 PM
FTA: The virginal British Columbians, all of whom are 29 or 30.....

Alright.. lets do this

...and evangelical Christians

*walks away*
 
2011-12-01 01:23:05 PM
FTFA: "We're in a culture filled with sex, where sex sells. And it's sold every day. And we believe it shouldn't be sold,"

And yet there they are, starring in their own "reality" TV show all about their sex lives (or lack thereof).
 
2011-12-01 01:23:52 PM
No thanks. I want a woman that can give "hooker head" and can fark me silly.
 
HBK
2011-12-01 01:24:34 PM
www.canada.com

Let's be honest: virgin, not a virgin, virgin, not a virgin.
 
2011-12-01 01:24:40 PM
timujin: This^ is why you don't wait until marriage to touch the opposite sex.

That was hard to watch.
 
2011-12-01 01:24:40 PM
'Don't stick your dick in crazy' becomes much more easy to follow when the crazy women won't let you.
 
2011-12-01 01:24:54 PM
I'll never understand "no premarital sex" for two reasons:

1) It assumes that everyone is going to get married. What if I don't plan on getting married? I can't ever have sex?

2) How do you know you want to buy a car if you don't test drive it first? You can get to know every darn thing about it on paper, but if you buy it before you drive it, what if you absolutely hate it when you get in? You need to find out a whole hell of a lot about what you don't want before you find something you do.
 
2011-12-01 01:24:58 PM
timujin: This^ is why you don't wait until marriage to touch the opposite sex.

OM NOM NOM
 
2011-12-01 01:26:27 PM
miss diminutive: timujin: This^ is why you don't wait until marriage to touch the opposite sex.

That was hard to watch.


Haha. That looked painful.
 
2011-12-01 01:26:32 PM
Remember that being a virgin doesn't exclude nightly excursions with Mr. Buzzy.
 
2011-12-01 01:27:14 PM
timujin: This^ is why you don't wait until marriage to touch the opposite sex.

Well, I have a boner.
 
2011-12-01 01:27:24 PM
Y'know how the fundies marginalize gay people by using the "just stop talking about your sex life. We don't care what you do in private. Stop shoving our face in your sexuality!" line of argument?

It seems that only applies to queers.
 
2011-12-01 01:27:30 PM
Only an idiot would marry with no idea of bedroom compatibility. This is not helping the divorce rate.
 
2011-12-01 01:27:47 PM
could also be read as 29 year-old virgins.
 
2011-12-01 01:28:18 PM
Heamer: 2) How do you know you want to buy a car if you don't test drive it first? You can get to know every darn thing about it on paper, but if you buy it before you drive it, what if you absolutely hate it when you get in? You need to find out a whole hell of a lot about what you don't want before you find something you do.

The theory would go that driving anything is better than walking. If you havent driven anything else, you dont know what you are missing out on.*

*This theory is total crap
 
2011-12-01 01:28:30 PM
HBK:
www.canada.com

Let's be honest: virgin, not a virgin, virgin, not a virgin.


In a related article, recent study shows that virginity causes one in four women to squint eyes, scrunch up face excessively when smiling.
 
2011-12-01 01:28:44 PM
HBK: [www.canada.com image 620x400]

Let's be honest: virgin, not a virgin"born again virgin", virgin, not a virgin.


FTFY
 
2011-12-01 01:28:50 PM
miss diminutive: We don't need a reality show about it, thanks.

FTFY
 
2011-12-01 01:29:37 PM
On the plus side I could tell any of them that yes mine is large and that I am in the 99th percentile for both stamina and ability. And they would believe it...
 
2011-12-01 01:29:46 PM
Thanks for narrowing down the field, you whackadoos.

FTA: Marziali notes that sex is "God's idea" and should be held for marriage.

Actually, I think it was the first animal with a penis installed that had the idea for sex. "What the, this thing just got all pointy, I don't know what to do with ... hey, what if I stick it in that hole there?"

Hey, hang on a second.
FTA: Tamara is the one who says she's a "born-again virgin," who believes sex should be "pure, holy and good."
IOW, the blonde has banged half of Abbotsford and now feels bad about the indiscretions of her younger years. That's hot.
 
2011-12-01 01:29:59 PM
cbackous: The theory would go that driving anything is better than walking. If you havent driven anything else, you dont know what you are missing out on.*

*This theory is total crap


It's alright, so is my analogy.
 
2011-12-01 01:30:39 PM
Representative of the unwashed masses: On the plus side I could tell any of them that yes mine is large and that I am in the 99th percentile for both stamina and ability. And they would believe it...

Just because they're virgins doesn't mean they don't have internet access.
 
2011-12-01 01:30:50 PM
crazytrain: Only an idiot would marry with no idea of bedroom compatibility. This is not helping the divorce rate.

Bedroom compatibility? WTF? Sex organs are not that specialized. You don't have to worry about a square peg versus a round hole.

And if you think that sex before marriage is a good indicator of how it's going to be after marriage, you're doomed.
 
2011-12-01 01:31:10 PM
toddalmighty: could also be read as 29 year-old virgins.

Why don't you have a seat over... oh, what's the use anyway
 
2011-12-01 01:31:13 PM
No thank you. Ive been with two virgins in my life and it was more work than it was worth. One was afraid to have ANY lights on whatsoever.
 
2011-12-01 01:31:31 PM
miss diminutive: Whether you're a slut or a virgin, why do you think the world needs to know what's either going or not going into your vagina?

Want to wait until marriage? Knock yourself out. Want to take on the whole rugby team? Knock yourself up. We don't need a reality show about it, thanks.


Pretty much this. To be fair though, we really don't need a reality show about anything.
 
2011-12-01 01:31:59 PM
miss diminutive: timujin: This^ is why you don't wait until marriage to touch the opposite sex.

That was hard to watch.


like 2 7th graders 'french kissing' on a dare.
 
2011-12-01 01:33:49 PM
groppet: No thank you. Ive been with two virgins in my life and it was more work than it was worth. One was afraid to have ANY lights on whatsoever.

Why would anyone want to fark a virgin? If it's your first time doing it, you're going to suck.

If I were to play tennis, I wouldn't want my partner to have never played the game before. I'd want someone experienced and who knew how to hold the racket and balls.
 
2011-12-01 01:33:57 PM
Harv72b: Representative of the unwashed masses: On the plus side I could tell any of them that yes mine is large and that I am in the 99th percentile for both stamina and ability. And they would believe it...

Just because they're virgins doesn't mean they don't have internet access.


Got that covered... "Baby, that's just CGI. No man has a penis larger than 5 inches." And more than 2 minutes? time looping, crazy Hollywood editing!
 
2011-12-01 01:33:59 PM
I can see that two of them came from Arrakis.

So they are Bene Gesserits?
 
HBK
2011-12-01 01:34:03 PM
The only women I've ever met that were virgins after 20 years old were unfarkably ugly.
 
2011-12-01 01:34:31 PM
Gee, I'm wondering why a bunch of 29-31 year old evangelical Christian virgins are having time finding men to marry them and have holy sex. What could possibly be going wrong here? Certainly they can't have any competition to contend with.

/supposing that they'd be better than a Fleshlight, but not by much...
 
2011-12-01 01:35:07 PM
Past a certain age it's a farking mental disorder.
 
2011-12-01 01:36:00 PM
Speaking as a 29-year-old virgin, I'm getting a kick out of ...

Good for them. It's nice to know you're not alone. I'm not evangelical, I'm just introverted and really don't want to risk having kids without a husband.
 
2011-12-01 01:36:14 PM
Do they have to do it through a sheet with a hole in it?
 
2011-12-01 01:36:19 PM
BurnShrike: Why would anyone want to fark a virgin? If it's your first time doing it, you're going to suck.

like your partners are conscious?
 
2011-12-01 01:36:19 PM
The main issue with being a "loud and proud" virgin, is that it starts to define you as a person. When (or if) they do get married and are allowed to have sex, they will no longer be virgins -- their whole identity up until that point will cease to be. Then what? Are they prepared to be somebody other than a virgin? The sudden shift in identity can have some serious psychological ramifications, but that can be eased if you don't focus so much of your life and energy on it leading up to the change.

If you want to wait for marriage, that's fine and there's nothing wrong with it. However, I would strongly advise against becoming a "professional virgins", like these women, if you ever want to be not-a-virgin.
 
2011-12-01 01:36:25 PM
threedingers: FTFA: "We're in a culture filled with sex, where sex sells. And it's sold every day. And we believe it shouldn't be sold,"

And yet there they are, starring in their own "reality" TV show all about their sex lives (or lack thereof).


This. They're attempting to make money off of a show about their sexual behavior. I guess the question is whether they're intentionally hypocritical or just stupid. Given the religion thing, my money's on the second.
 
2011-12-01 01:36:31 PM
JackieRabbit: Gee, I'm wondering why a bunch of 29-31 year old evangelical Christian virgins are having time finding men to marry them and have holy sex. What could possibly be going wrong here? Certainly they can't have any competition to contend with.

I can't get it up when I know Jesus is watching me. That guy's such a voyeur.
 
2011-12-01 01:37:10 PM
royone

I wasn't referring to the geometry of what fits where and how well, but rather that at age 29 most men have been around the block and know what they prefer in bed. That compatibility of likes and dislikes is a total crapshoot with these women, and a disappointing sex life, I believe, is a factor that could contribute to divorce.
 
2011-12-01 01:37:12 PM
astrochelonian: Speaking as a 29-year-old virgin, I'm getting a kick out of ...

Good for them. It's nice to know you're not alone. I'm not evangelical, I'm just introverted and really don't want to risk having kids without a husband.


I...just...huh. You know what? Someone else will sort this out.
 
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