Probably because the Mayans never predicted the end of the world in 2012

Complete extinction of all earthly life > Tebow

15 men? I know of 1 man with a signifiane to the number 15. I have based my entire life's work on said tablet. I will update you all when I am completed.

Several years ago during a pregame show on ESPN a guy behind the announcers held up a sign that said "Tuck Febow".

Still makes me chuckle.

curse you auto correct.

CPennypacker: Probably because the Mayans never predicted the end of the world in 2012

Right, it never even hints that it's the end of the world. If anything it vaguely mentions a 'new time'. It's basically like freaking out just because you have to buy a new calendar.

I hope they're right, I'm getting sick of the old ways.

Fun fact: those folks thought the world had the potential to end every 52 years, when their calender reset and that people are made out of cornmeal. Settle down.

Someone should photoshop Denver's offense into the last supper scene.

"December 21, 2012"

-great, the day after my birthday, which means I will probably have to start this new era w/a hangover.

Yeah, my calendar ends at the end of December. So we're never going to get close to May 2012.

If that was at all a logical argument.
Which it isn't.

But how do you sell books without sensationalism and whipping the foil-hats into a fury?

"Ancient Mayan tablet does not say the world will end in 2012; properly decoded, it cryptically states "In the Bay of Green, the 12 Man will lead his fellow Packers to victory in a Bowl That Is Super". Whatever that means"

FTFY Subby.

Ah, bollox!

Maybe there was only so much calendar they could fit on that one rock, and the rest is on another rock somewhere else.


/archaeologist

lewismarktwo: CPennypacker: Probably because the Mayans never predicted the end of the world in 2012

Right, it never even hints that it's the end of the world. If anything it vaguely mentions a 'new time'. It's basically like freaking out just because you have to buy a new calendar.

I hope they're right, I'm getting sick of the old ways.

In point of fact, there are actual specific references on some stelae about events that will take place far, far in the future of 2012. So if anything, the Mayans explicitly deny that the world will end in 2012.

Not that I'd really take their word for it either way. But the whole thing is still a stupid manufacture of the mystical-crystal cult.

I talk to god ALOT and he's never mentioned Denver or Green bvay. And I don't know what your ancient tablets or mayan calendars say, but I do know that god mentions Tom Brady and Bill Belechick quite often and speaks very highly of them.

Just sayin.

Uzzah: Complete extinction of all earthly life > Tebow

Done in Two

/most extreme and lolworthy use of the meme

If you want a good treatise on what the Maya actually thought about 2012, see David Stuart's book The Order of Days: The Maya World and the Truth About 2012. David is a MacArthur Genius Grant winner, and currently holds the Linda and David Schele Chair in Mesoamerican Art and Writing at the University of Texas in Austin. You can also check out this site: www.famsi.org, which has Mark van Stone's stuff on what is known.

Jake Havechek: You fear me? So you should. All you who are vile. Would you like to know how you will die? The sacred time is near. Beware the blackness of day. Beware the man who brings the jaguar. Behold him reborn from mud and earth. For the one he takes you to will cancel the sky, and scratch out the earth. Scratch you out. And end your world. He's with us now. Day will be like night. And the man jaguar will lead you to your end.

I really have my doubts about Gabbert. I hope you're right, though.

Danger Mouse: I talk to god ALOT A LOTand he's never mentioned Denver or Green bvay. And I don't know what your ancient tablets or mayan calendars say, but I do know that god mentions Tom Brady and Bill Belechick quite often and speaks very highly of them.

Just sayin.

FTFY

My todo list for the day in question
12/21/12 - Have a kick ass party

G2V: lewismarktwo: CPennypacker: Probably because the Mayans never predicted the end of the world in 2012

Not that I'd really take their word for it either way. But the whole thing is still a stupid manufacture of the mystical-crystal cult.


Gawd, I farkin' hate those crystal skull idiots, especially that Mitchell-Hedges woman with that fake, bought at an auction skull she claims as a Mayan artefact. Some of the utter bullshiat she's come out with before her death has been astonishing. Like how the skulls are a data storage device for alien knowledge. Equally annoying are the deluded assholes who believe in it and actually embellish all kinds of powers that the skulls have, like George Lucas, who thought it might make a good idea for a film.

So this guy in Germany just discovered what anyone who knows anything about ancient Mayan culture and its calendar has known for decades?

Imagine if the only record of our civilization 10,000 years from now were the Fark archives.

I'd sort of be OK with that.

'Mile High City' and 'horsemen' and no Blue Horse of Death pic? I am disappont.

Is he called the 15 man because he sucked 15 dicks in a row?

I'm absolutely certain there's a division of some secret society devoted entirely to keeping people convinced the apocalypse is just around the corner.

The only question that remains is what the next date will be after 2012 falls through, like Y2K and everything else did. They seem to space them out roughly 10 years apart, so i'm going to go with 2020 as the next apocalypse, because symmetrical numbers seem to freak some people out. For example, seeing 11:11 on your clock allegedly means angels are sending secret messages to you.

Although, one thing that does give me pause about 2012, is we're supposed to be in one hell of a solar maximum then, so a massive solar flare knocking us back to the stone age or sterilizing us all isn't at all impossible.

I'll also add that the Mayans were just copying what an even older culture named the Olmec said and did, and never had an original thought of their own.

Subby is more delusional than the people that think the world will end.

fred_chan: So this guy in Germany just discovered what anyone who knows anything about ancient Mayan culture and its calendar has known for decades?

...Or, he just got around to reading Shadowrun.

Jake Havechek: abfalter: Imagine if the only record of our civilization 10,000 years from now were the Fark archives.

I'd sort of be OK with that.

Well, we keep most of our records electronically these days, so........we might not leave much at all behind. Other than plastic.

Yeah, and just try to find a place to download a PDF or DOC reader in 10,000 years.

This is just the Mayan equivalent of the odometer rolling over.

Feynman wrote a bit about his own hobby of decoding a Mayan codex, discovering that the Mayans were getting fanatical about the period of Venus. I think it was in "Surely you're joking Mr. Feynman".

I knew about this 2012 stuff way back in 1999, and I was joking then about making a fortune scaring people with 2012 stuff. I really need to follow through with my observations. I just don't think I could do better than Phil Plait on asteroids and I don't know any other long predicted doomsday coming up.

Actually, I just couldn't do better than Phil on the astronomy or astrophysics angle. I could, however, crank out "Pray the Asteroid Away: How your prayers help God move stones" in a few weeks and send it off to a Christian press. I'm sure Nelson would gulp that up.

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Is he called the 15 man because he sucked 15 dicks in a row?

Tony romo plays for the Cowboys. Not the Broncos.

ringersol: Yeah, my calendar ends at the end of December. So we're never going to get close to May 2012.

If that was at all a logical argument.
Which it isn't.

But how do you sell books without sensationalism and whipping the foil-hats into a fury?

Pffft maybe if your calendar was ii stone I would buy the world was ending this year. There is something too this Mayan thing man they used stone man stone. Something big is coming next year man. I am thinking maybe a super volcano or maybe even Jesus. Or maybe a super volcano and Jesus.

Mel Gibson's Apocalypto > Tebow

We only have that one calendar stone, though. Keep in mind that the conquistadors destroyed a lot of Mayan things because they were paganistic and against the One True God.

Who gives a shiat ?

So basically the world really IS going to end?

J. Frank Parnell: "I'll also add that the Mayans were just copying what an even older culture named the Olmec said and did, and never had an original thought of their own. "

You could level that criticism at just about every culture.
It all comes from somewhere, minus a baby-step or two.
So if you discount those, yeah, "There's nothing new under the sun."

Rozotorical:
Pffft maybe if your calendar was ii stone I would buy the world was ending this year. There is something too this Mayan thing man they used stone man stone. Something big is coming next year man. I am thinking maybe a super volcano or maybe even Jesus. Or maybe a super volcano and Jesus.

Super Jesus Volcano, by Michael Bay.

The power of Christ can melt you!

Coming 2012.

Has only really consdiered that when the Sun shines upon Earth, 2 - major Time points are created on opposite sides of Earth - known as Midday and Midnight. Where the 2 major Time forces join, synergy creates 2 new minor Time points we recognize as Sunup and Sundown. The 4-equidistant Time points can be considered as Time Square imprinted upon the circle of Earth. In a single rotation of the Earth sphere, each Time corner point rotates through the other 3-corner Time points, thus creating 16 corners, 96 hours and 4-simultaneous 24 hour Days within a single rotation of Earth - equated to a Higher Order of Life Time Cube.

ringersol: You could level that criticism at just about every culture.

Didn't mean it as criticism of their culture. Just something many people don't know.

If i am criticizing anyone it's those who think the Mayans had some special knowledge unique to themselves. You can find echoes of the same things all over the globe.

This will be my 30th birthday, so surely the world is destined to end... for me.

Xoc: If you want a good treatise on what the Maya actually thought about 2012, see David Stuart's book The Order of Days: The Maya World and the Truth About 2012. David is a MacArthur Genius Grant winner, and currently holds the Linda and David Schele Chair in Mesoamerican Art and Writing at the University of Texas in Austin. You can also check out this site: www.famsi.org, which has Mark van Stone's stuff on what is known.

This is a democracy. If the people think the Mayans predicted the end of the world in 2012, then thats the truth.

Not the opinion of some ivory tower egg-head with his book-learning and facts.

Retractable Weeners: Someone should photoshop Denver's offense into the last supper scene.

It would be more accurate to put in the defense.