Tim Tebow needs a Tebow Thursday tag.

Reading the Lysol can while on the shiatter > sportschump

My Afternoon with Tim Tebow

by Harv72b

My afternoon with Tim Tebow started promptly at 9am, as Tim wakes up every day at 3 in the morning and goes to bed at 5pm. After dropping off his neighbors' dry cleaning to save them the trouble, we headed over to the local Chick-fil-a for breakfast. I had a delicious chick-n-minis meal with coffee, he ordered dry toast and a water. Actually, he ordered "toasted white bread with the glory of my Lord, Jesus Christ, slathered upon it," but amended that to dry toast when the teenager at the register stared at him blankly.

Once we had finished lunch, it was off to the Denver Zoo where we studiously avoided the primate exhibits and went straight to the ostriches. Ostriches, Tim explained to me, were his favorite of all God's creatures (next to angels, of course), because even though they were birds they had never felt the need to take to the air. Tim then conversed with several ostriches and a stray emu before offering them the Eucharist and teaching them to bow respectfully before God's love and power.

When we had finished talking to the police (who were called to the zoo after an employee saw Tim in the ostrich enclosure), we headed over to the Denver Broncos practice facility where Tim spent several hours working on bicep curls while kneeling with his head facing downward. As it was now approaching 2pm, Tim insisted on treating me and several of his teammates to supper.

Supper, as it turned out, was served at a long table with a white tablecloth draped over it. For some reason, Tim insisted that we all sit on the same side of the table, with him at the center. Tim said grace for about 45 minutes, then poured some red kool aid out for everyone (he said it was his blood, but it looked and tasted like kool aid. Sugar free kool aid, but I digress). Turned out that all he had to eat was some bread, and even then he broke it up before handing each of us some, but by this point I'd already made up my mind to stop at Taco Bell on my way home. I dropped him off at his place promptly at 4, and after he'd finished blessing my hyundai again, headed off with a wave.

I can't wait to spend another day with Tim. He told me to meet up with him in some cave this Sunday, but I just assume he means the tunnel at Mile High. I'll be there!