Damn it, dad.

Damn it, dad.
>

Sorry Son

Ummm, I wasn't in Cambridge on Thursday.

Phew. I was worried this was a story about me.

"excuse me, ladies. I hear you have a plumbing problem?"

boom chicka mow wow

Sorry 'bout that.

Passim's?

FTFA:

"A drunk man who tried to force women to dance with him at a Cambridge club Thursday was hit in the head and had his jacket stolen but refused to cooperate with officers, according to a police report."

Obviously the cops didn't beat him enough or steal enough of his shiat.

Women annoys drunk man at nightclub

FTFY

Government Fromage: DNRTFA did they mention his Fark handle?

Drew.

Ric Romero buys the next round

I seriously feel for this guy. I love dancing. I love dancing with women. It sucks when you go to a nightclub and there's nothing there but a bunch of uptight suburban newlyweds with their robo-jock husbands. I tried dancing with this woman this past Saturday. She was wearing this ridiculously short mini-skirt. When I leaped up behind her to intimate some dancing moves, there was slight penetration because my sweat pants slipped down. Big farking deal. In my prime, this woman would have paid for me to dance inside with her. Now she doesn't even belong dancing in the streets. Obviously the guy wasn't that belligerent or the cops would've arrested him. Sounds like another case of "I don't like you dancing with my girl because I want to sit on a bar stool and make fun of a guy who has obviously had some professional dance training." Screw them.

He was last heard saying, "No, I said you look fat in those pants."

A drunk man who tried to force women to dance with him

Somebody who really likes the Roxbury Guys sketch from SNL?

farking amateur he should have neg-ed them more and he probably wasn't even properly peacocking either.

/I'd have slept with all of those women
//every. single. one.

spentmiles: Sounds like another case of "I don't like you dancing with my girl because I want to sit on a bar stool and make fun of a guy who has obviously had some professional dance training." Screw them.

I see you've been to the Buffalo Club in Boise. A small group of skilled dancers (maybe 8 at any given moment) and dozens of wankers sitting to the side looking miserable.

If a man dances well he is gay.

spentmiles: I seriously feel for this guy. I love dancing. I love dancing with women. It sucks when you go to a nightclub and there's nothing there but a bunch of uptight suburban newlyweds with their robo-jock husbands. I tried dancing with this woman this past Saturday. She was wearing this ridiculously short mini-skirt. When I leaped up behind her to intimate some dancing moves, there was slight penetration because my sweat pants slipped down. Big farking deal. In my prime, this woman would have paid for me to dance inside with her. Now she doesn't even belong dancing in the streets. Obviously the guy wasn't that belligerent or the cops would've arrested him. Sounds like another case of "I don't like you dancing with my girl because I want to sit on a bar stool and make fun of a guy who has obviously had some professional dance training." Screw them.

+1+1+1

dalovindj: If a man dances well he is gay.

It's true. I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body

I think this might be one of my favorite stories of the year.
BTW, I also dislike women on the dance floor that don't want me grinding all over them. I mean, I am a gentleman about it. I wait for at least 3 seconds of contact before I stick a finger down their pants...

Because nothin' makes the ladies wanna dance more than having an arm pulled out of the socket by a drunk-ass drunk.

"Dip, dip, dive.. So- Socialize!"

spentmiles: dancing

Pocket Ninja-like typing detected.

Kygz: Damn it, dad.

Are you disappoint, son?

Smeggy Smurf: I see you've been to the Buffalo Club in Boise any club. A small group of skilled dancers people who think everyone should be impressed because they spend time memorizing dance moves (maybe 8 at any given moment) and dozens of wankers sitting to the side looking miserable people who went to drink and socialize.

GeneralizedTFY

Kygz: Damn it, dad.

Graffiti seen in bar bathroom:

"I farked your mother"

Underneath it:

"Go home Dad, you're drunk"

jingks: Smeggy Smurf: I see you've been to the Buffalo Club in Boise any club. A small group of skilled dancers people who think everyone should be impressed because they spend time memorizing dance moves (maybe 8 at any given moment) and dozens of wankers sitting to the side looking miserable people who went to drink and socialize.

GeneralizedTFY

Memorized moves? Clearly you've never seen country swing dancers riding the ragged edge of disaster. Half of the time is spent avoiding/kicking the asshole west coast swing dancers that thing it's perfectly acceptable to suddenly shoot 20 feet across the crowded dance floor.

/fark old people dancing shiatty 70's swing
//fark the assholes that think line dancing is cool
///fark the douchebags that think it's cool to spill your beer on the dance floor

Smeggy Smurf: fark the douchebags that think it's cool to spill your beer on the dance floor

I guess it was beer at one point in time.

Herman Cain?

From the "ran out of real news" departmentFark:

/It's not news.

Way to take the NEW out of News

There was this girl who broke my heart because I couldn't dance.
She didn't even want me around.

I was at a club about 15 years ago and asked a girl to dance. She said no. I said "Well how bout fishing, Ya know? You, me, the deep blue sea, like your eye's,, um,, me and the guys are going out this weekend and you look bored so how about that?" This freaking 6'4 behemoth across from her (he looked smaller sitting at her table, he looked like Rambo only he worked out more) stands up and says "THE LADY DON'T WANNA DANCE!"! Immediately my instinct to survive kicked in and I said "dude,, I was just asking the lady to dance(in a cool calm collective voice)", I mean no harm,, no foul. He then sits back comfortably in his squaters hell, he's done his part in defusing an awkward situation (for him) and I walk back to my table.
About 15 minutes later I'm thumping along to STP "Plush" and the meathead (Arnold/Rambo) is fingering me to come over (we were about 5 tables apart). I wonder what the fark that means so I go over to see what the problem is, my testicles shrinking with every step,, and was about to say "really there shouldn't be a problem", but then, unfortunatly,, my 5'7 150 pound room mate stand's between us and ask's the guy if he has an erection malfunktion or something like that. Ohh Crap!,,
So this huge farker that obviously works out more then everyone in the building combined puts all of his umf into shoving one of my best friends to the ground. Hard. Really freakig hard.
At that point, I got pissed and shoved him back. Not in a coardly lion way but I gaveit my all. Unfortunatly he didn't go far. In fact after going about 2 feet he came at me swinging as hard as he could causing insects to fly for there lives. I could feel the air around me whirlwind. I sliced my left arm below his right arm and cluched his mullett locking up his right arm ensuring a close quarters encounter. He was farked after that. Oh did I forget I'm an "orange belt"? Leather glove runner up in High school, Varsity wresling? All those things add up!!
He did swing me every which way to try to break free and the resulting melee took out no less then 6 tables, and the entite middle seating section, but might right hand was free too beat the everloving crap out of his 6'4 face and as I was doing that there was actually guys trying to hit me over the head with bar stools. It turned out to be a Free for all bar room brawl. My back still has scars from the tables he bounced me of of,, but his face probably does too.
About 3 weeks later the entire place was renovated. All the tables were countertops buit into the walls. I was playing pool there and a budy of mine says "hey Dave isn't that the guy you got in a fight with?" as the same guy was walking in. I looked at him and him at me,, He turned around and walked out. Other then getting layed for the first time, that was the best feeling in my life.

After that I was known as the guy who renovated the BTC (Boston Trading Company). Thank you. No no no,,, no reason for apllause. It coulda happened to anyone.

/CSB?

What is it with girls who dance with each other? I see this all the time. Do they think it's some kind of cute lesbian-chic thing to do? Once I was at a nightclub and saw two girls dancing with each other and I tried to dance with them and boy did they gave me dirty looks.

glompoc: What is it with girls who dance with each other? I see this all the time. Do they think it's some kind of cute lesbian-chic thing to do? Once I was at a nightclub and saw two girls dancing with each other and I tried to dance with them and boy did they gave me dirty looks.

That's what they do when they just want to dance. If they were even remotely interested in having sex [with you], they would have been happy to dance with you. It's also possible that they were actual lesbians. It happens.

skinink: "At 1:35 a.m. on Nov. 24, police found a drunk man yelling at the employees of a Church Street nightclub - the name of which was redacted by police..."
Considering there's just one place that may have dancing on tiny Church Street - Club Passim's - I'd say the redaction was pretty useless. Unless the Border Cafe yanked out the bathtubs to make room for a dance floor.

I have tried dancing at Border Cafe, and the staff do not appreciate it. Also, apparently 10 beers is enough to get you cut off, even if you are hardly slurring at all. Not the best bar in Cambridge imho. Nice place for hungover brunch though.

dalovindj: If a man dances well he is gay.



SO gay.

glompoc: What is it with girls who dance with each other? I see this all the time. Do they think it's some kind of cute lesbian-chic thing to do? Once I was at a nightclub and saw two girls dancing with each other and I tried to dance with them and boy did they gave me dirty looks.

foreveralone.jpg

ununcle: I was at a club about 15 years ago and asked a girl to dance. She said no. I said "Well how bout fishing, Ya know? You, me, the deep blue sea, like your eye's,, um,, me and the guys are going out this weekend and you look bored so how about that?" This freaking 6'4 behemoth across from her (he looked smaller sitting at her table, he looked like Rambo only he worked out more) stands up and says "THE LADY DON'T WANNA DANCE!"! Immediately my instinct to survive kicked in and I said "dude,, I was just asking the lady to dance(in a cool calm collective voice)", I mean no harm,, no foul. He then sits back comfortably in his squaters hell, he's done his part in defusing an awkward situation (for him) and I walk back to my table.
About 15 minutes later I'm thumping along to STP "Plush" and the meathead (Arnold/Rambo) is fingering me to come over (we were about 5 tables apart). I wonder what the fark that means so I go over to see what the problem is, my testicles shrinking with every step,, and was about to say "really there shouldn't be a problem", but then, unfortunatly,, my 5'7 150 pound room mate stand's between us and ask's the guy if he has an erection malfunktion or something like that. Ohh Crap!,,
So this huge farker that obviously works out more then everyone in the building combined puts all of his umf into shoving one of my best friends to the ground. Hard. Really freakig hard.
At that point, I got pissed and shoved him back. Not in a coardly lion way but I gaveit my all. Unfortunatly he didn't go far. In fact after going about 2 feet he came at me swinging as hard as he could causing insects to fly for there lives. I could feel the air around me whirlwind. I sliced my left arm below his right arm and cluched his mullett locking up his right arm ensuring a close quarters encounter. He was farked after that. Oh did I forget I'm an "orange belt"? Leather glove runner up in High school, Varsity wresling? All those things add up!!
He did swing me every which way to try to break free and the resulting melee took out no less then 6 tables, and the entite middle seating section, but might right hand was free too beat the everloving crap out of his 6'4 face and as I was doing that there was actually guys trying to hit me over the head with bar stools. It turned out to be a Free for all bar room brawl. My back still has scars from the tables he bounced me of of,, but his face probably does too.
About 3 weeks later the entire place was renovated. All the tables were countertops buit into the walls. I was playing pool there and a budy of mine says "hey Dave isn't that the guy you got in a fight with?" as the same guy was walking in. I looked at him and him at me,, He turned around and walked out. Other then getting layed for the first time, that was the best feeling in my life.

After that I was known as the guy who renovated the BTC (Boston Trading Company). Thank you. No no no,,, no reason for apllause. It coulda happened to anyone.

/CSB?

Dude, story of the year. Get some rest.

Snotty1: He was last heard saying, "No, I said you look fat in those pants.I don't think the pants have anything to do with you looking fat."

FTFY

ununcle: I sliced my left arm below his right arm and cluched his mullett locking up his right arm ensuring a close quarters encounter. He was farked after that. Oh did I forget I'm an "orange belt"? Leather glove runner up in High school, Varsity wresling? All those things add up!!


You lost me here, did you mean to say you got an underhook with your left arm (while cluutching his hair), while striking with your right hand? What was his free hand doing.

Cmon man, we need details

wow sounds like there are a ton of wanna be gay guys out there who are pissy because nobody wants to dance with them.

real men would rather sit and drink and have a smoke that prance around on the dance floor like a ferry.

What's that? you can dance? and you say it gets you women? maybe so but deep down these women see you as a potential gay BFF, so have fun.

All this being said - there is a difference between actual dancing and just standing there grinding your cock on some girls ass,

Back on topic though -- this guy sounds like a drunk piece of crap who deserved to get roughed up a little bit. The people that can't control their intake of alcohol are the ones ruining it for the rest of us. If I was out on the dance floor grinding some girls ass and this guy came up, I'd pop him in the face too.

If all the guy lost was a coat he should consider himself lucky. Alcohol or drugs is never an excuse for being straight up dumb.

Back off topic: the girls dancing exclusively together are annoying as hell - it's fun to watch for about 5 seconds, after that they just need to go to a lesbian club.