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(Topless Robot)   William Shatner fires a photon torpedo at Carrie Fisher   (toplessrobot.com) divider line 358
    More: Followup, William Shatner, Carrie Fisher, photon torpedo  
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38122 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Nov 2011 at 6:17 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-11-30 07:40:58 PM
I'll get the popcorn....
 
2011-11-30 07:42:05 PM

BuckTurgidson: Tim Tebow>Imperial Star Destroyer > Battlestar Galactica > Enterprise


ftfy
 
2011-11-30 07:44:23 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com

BIATCH!!!! Wheres my Sammich???
 
2011-11-30 07:44:41 PM
fusillade762:
Yeah. And the dumbest part is always worried about being beamed into solid matter like rock. News flash genius: beaming your body into AIR will kill you just as fast as rock. Not to mention the fact that technically you're dying every time you beam somewhere. The thing that arrives at the other end is just a duplicate copy of you.


Maybe. Quantum mechanics is funny. You're disassembled and reassembled on the quantum level, but since it's a exact 1:1 copy, is it not you? Did you really "die". Does it even matter?

I wouldn't step into one, but at that point it's almost beyond comprehension. The information is exactly the same, so it's not different in any way. Pretty sure quantum mechanics states that the original needs to be destroyed too, which means it's technically not a copy, but the original. Very weird stuff to think about.

As for rocks or air, you're not being into them as much as either using their elements as raw material to rephase yourself, or just pushing them out of the way.
 
2011-11-30 07:45:21 PM

Mugato: simplicimus: Outside of the original movie and Nemesis, what's the third?

Final Frontier, Insurrection and I dare you to find more plot holes in the entire prequel trilogy than were in Generations.


Well, the Force seems to have limitations that are not explained, or else it just comes and goes depending on the plot.
It takes Anakin a while to remember he has a mother.
Age difference between Anakin and Padme.
 
2011-11-30 07:46:24 PM

HoneyDog: Holy crap, I went back and watch Carrie's rant. First it's lame. And second, what the heck happened to her! She looks like crap!


Too much:
*drinking
*drugs
*ECT
*life
*Paul Simon
 
2011-11-30 07:47:19 PM

BroVinny: HoneyDog: Holy crap, I went back and watch Carrie's rant. First it's lame. And second, what the heck happened to her! She looks like crap!

Too much:
*drinking
*drugs
*ECT
*life
*Paul Simon


And:
*plastic surgery
 
2011-11-30 07:47:29 PM
Jeez, that balding, pudgy old canadian jew would fire his torpedo at anything

cdn.videosift.com

and he would enjoy it.
 
2011-11-30 07:47:53 PM

video man: Star Forge > Borg Cube > Death Star

Always.



images3.wikia.nocookie.net

Forgetting something?
 
2011-11-30 07:50:48 PM
archichris:

Star treks techology was just plain bat fark made up.And the horrible part is it just kept getting stupider. The Holo-deck was about the dumbest thing I have ever seen. I seem to recall an episode where they got trapped inside and the people outside couldnt turn it off because then the people inside would be gone forever.......Seems a little severe for a simple light effect. If you really can use the technology of a holodeck to disintegrate matter then shouldnt you make a portable version, stick some engines on the back and drill holes in the borg with it?


not sure on the episode, but the holodeck was explained as forcefields and photons of light, with the occasional replicator crap thrown in. It had computer safety against doing something to injure a person, so maybe they were turned off?

The holodeck was cool be very quickly became a crutch for poor story telling and cheap seasons. I'd say practically 1/3 of Voy episodes used it in some way, on a ship that was always talking about the need to ration "Energy". Yeah, who cares about food and materials you need to replicate, everyone gets holodeck R&R!

Between the holodeck use and Janeway having to replicate a new shuttle for the one she lost, yet again, in the previous episode, Voyager wouldn't have made it a parsec.
 
2011-11-30 07:51:05 PM
Been watching TOS on netflix

St better than sw definitely

furiousfanboys.com
 
2011-11-30 07:51:34 PM

Arklop: video man: Star Forge > Borg Cube > Death Star

Always.


[images3.wikia.nocookie.net image 250x427]

Forgetting something?


That looks like Skyrim's version of ED-E
 
2011-11-30 07:53:01 PM

Arklop: video man: Star Forge > Borg Cube > Death Star

Always.

[images3.wikia.nocookie.net image 250x427]

Forgetting something?



What is that, your Federation issue space penis gourd?
 
2011-11-30 07:53:52 PM
BroVinny: HoneyDog: Holy crap, I went back and watch Carrie's rant. First it's lame. And second, what the heck happened to her! She looks like crap!

Too much:
*drinking
*drugs
*ECT
*life
*Paul Simon

And:
*plastic surgery


She needs to sue who ever did the plastic surgery, it's supposed to make you look better.......not worse. Hell, my 84 year old mom looks better than she does.
 
2011-11-30 07:54:56 PM
fc04.deviantart.net

THIS. TRUMPS. EVERYTHING.
 
2011-11-30 07:55:00 PM
blogs.suntimes.com
 
2011-11-30 07:55:31 PM

Arklop: video man: Star Forge > Borg Cube > Death Star

Always.


[images3.wikia.nocookie.net image 250x427]

Forgetting something?


Man if I could delete any one author from SW canon, Anderson wins hands down.

What's his name, the asshole who kicked off Chewie is a close second.
 
2011-11-30 07:57:05 PM

ha-ha-guy: Man if I could delete any one author from SW canon, Anderson wins hands down.

What's his name, the asshole who kicked off Chewie is a close second.


R. A. Salvatore.

To be fair, he didn't act unilaterally. The powers-that-be that authorized the New Jedi Order story arc have some culpability as well.
 
2011-11-30 07:57:35 PM

simplicimus: Well, the Force seems to have limitations that are not explained, or else it just comes and goes depending on the plot.
It takes Anakin a while to remember he has a mother.
Age difference between Anakin and Padme.


How are any of those plot holes? I don't even know what the second one means.

I'm talking about Picard having the ability to go anywhere at anytime he wants and decides to go back to 3 minutes before Soren destroys the planet with an octogenarian in tow instead of just going back to the moment he first met Soren and kicked his ass.

Or how a gas powered rocket can travel to a star roughly the same distance as our sun is to earth (8 light minutes away), destroy the star and make the planet dark in less than 20 seconds

Or why Soren needs to get back into the Nexus but can't just fly into it with a ship, the exact way he got into it in the first place.

Or why the Enterprise B is the closest ship to this event happening in the far reaches of space even though it's in earth's solar system.

or....nevermind, no one's still reading at this point.
 
2011-11-30 07:59:05 PM

ha-ha-guy: fusillade762: Mugato: towatchoverme: And - Mugatu - Voyager beamed a photon torpedo onto the deck of a borg cube in one of their episodes. I forget which.

Well then all the did was elucidate the idiocy of the Enterprise -D.

The transporter is the worst contrivance Trek ever came up with and it's all because they couldn't afford a shuttlecraft in the first season.

Yeah. And the dumbest part is always worried about being beamed into solid matter like rock. News flash genius: beaming your body into AIR will kill you just as fast as rock. Not to mention the fact that technically you're dying every time you beam somewhere. The thing that arrives at the other end is just a duplicate copy of you.

Same with any kind of Stargate or wormhole kind of thing. Also in theory it should allow cloning. When you transport someone you have to beam along reassembly directions. So if someone dies, stuff the amount of matter needed to make them into a transporter (get a corpse or a dead monkey or two), beam that and your last set of reassembling instructions for the person somewhere. Oh look person X is now back.


They actually did a pretty interesting Outer Limits episode about this.

Think Like a Dinosaur (The Outer Limits) (new window)

Michael Burr is the only permanent human occupant of the Tuulen station, situated on a vast empty plain of the Moon. His companions are the Hanen, an emotionless dinosaur-like alien species who have developed a highly advanced means of long distance travel by 'jumping' through space. Achieved by creating an exact duplicate of the jumper, the copy is reconstituted at the destination point and the original destroyed, thus leaving only one.

Kamala Shastri is one of the test jumpers to arrive for travel to the planet Gend, but in the final stage of the transfer, something inexplicable happens. Confirmation of her duplicate's arrival is not received from Gend and the procedure is temporarily aborted. When it's later determined that Kamala's copy does indeed exist, Michael is called upon to 'balance the equation' and eliminate the original. Michael knows the human race is desperate to access a technology that would allow them to leave behind a planet now virtually destroyed by pollution and over-population. He also knows it is imperative that he avoid a protocol breach with the Hanen, but can he bring himself to kill Kamala?
 
2011-11-30 07:59:10 PM
This whole thing should turn pretty epic if Bill and Carrie play it right.

So far they're both doing good!
 
2011-11-30 08:01:35 PM
Vinny, it's "What does God need with a starship", not "why".

Yeesh.
 
2011-11-30 08:01:45 PM

simplicimus: Mugato: simplicimus: Outside of the original movie and Nemesis, what's the third?

Final Frontier, Insurrection and I dare you to find more plot holes in the entire prequel trilogy than were in Generations.

Well, the Force seems to have limitations that are not explained, or else it just comes and goes depending on the plot.
It takes Anakin a while to remember he has a mother.
Age difference between Anakin and Padme.


In theory you can use the Force to crash a Star Destroyer or move a planet

Hyperspace seems to beat Warp speed since it gets you wherever as demanded by the plot.
/size matters not
 
2011-11-30 08:02:00 PM

Le Bomb Suprize: Meh, I think they are both smart, witty, and likeable. Their little feud smacks of opportunism and no real malice. Also, Firefly was better than either Star Trek or Star Wars.


I agree!

/Circle gets a square.
 
2011-11-30 08:02:14 PM
images3.wikia.nocookie.net

www.noisetosignal.org
 
2011-11-30 08:02:46 PM
The Heart of Gold . Improbability canna be bullied.
 
2011-11-30 08:04:02 PM

Jim from Saint Paul: Vinny, it's "What does God need with a starship", not "why".

Yeesh.


I bow to your superior skills. You'll have to forgive me--I've had sex about 1,000 times since I last watched that movie.

/almost every time, with a partner
 
2011-11-30 08:05:19 PM

Fano: In theory you can use the Force to crash a Star Destroyer or move a planet


"size matters not" is not literal (at least that's what my gf says and I believe her) it's the kind of shiat a trainer says when someone's trying to lift weights. It's clear it took a lot of concentration for even Yoda to move that X-Wing.
 
2011-11-30 08:07:24 PM
The best part of this thread is the manifestation of Little Brother Syndrome from BSG fans.
 
2011-11-30 08:07:32 PM
i291.photobucket.com

1. First of all, it's "lasers", not "lazers".

2. And Star Destroyers don't just have laser. They have turbolasers, and a lot more. Here's the standard armament of an Imperial II-class Star Destroyer:

Octuple barbette turbolaser or Ion cannons (8)
Heavy turbolaser batteries (5)
Turbolaser batteries (5)
Additional turbolaser batteries (26+)
Heavy ion cannons (20)
Phylon Q7 tractor beam projectors (10)

And let me point out that turbolaser bolts can obliterate small asteroids, and it has been calculated that a single Star Destroyer turbolaser bolt has about the same output as the bomb that took out Hiroshima.
source

3. Star Destroyers DO have deflector shields that are at least as powerful as those on Galaxy-class ship from Star Trek.

4. Star Destroyers also carry fighters and other ships. Here's a standard complement:
TIE starfighters (72)
Lambda-class shuttles (8)
Delta-class stormtrooper transports (15)
Assault gunboats (5)
A variable number of GAT-12 Skipray Blastboats
Gamma-class assault shuttle (1+)
Repair and recovery vehicles
AT-AT barges
AT-AT walkers (20)
AT-ST walkers (20)
Various ground vehicles
Prefabricated garrison bases

5. A Star Destroyer has more than just one guy manning the weapons console, too. They have an entire crew (37,085) that is dedicated to the operation of the ship, and a good chunk of that crew is actually manning weapons bays and consoles. They're assisted by targeting computers, but since the Star Destroyer has at least 64 heavy weapons emplacements on the top, bottom, sides, front and back of the ship, they've got a distinct need for more than just one fellow firing the one main gun, as in a Galaxy-class ship.

This is no contest. The Enterprise has been shown to be incapable of even destroying a single small asteroid. A Star Destroyer has been shown blasting asteroids into dust with minimal effort.

The ONLY advantage the Galaxy-class ship has over the Star Destroyer is transporter technology, which any Trek fan knows is baffled by shields; If either ship has shields up, it won't work. I guarantee you the Imperials aren't going to drop their shields, and even if they did, beaming a proton torpedo onto their bridge wouldn't stop them. Why? There are auxiliary command posts, for one, and a Star Destroyer doesn't put all its most important equipment and personnel in just one place on the ship.

On top of that, these things have TEN tractor beam projectors, and two large docking clamps/claws that are used to capture ships a lot bigger than a Galaxy-class starship.

In truth, I doubt a Galaxy-class starship could stand up to a Corellian CR90 corvette, much less an Imperial Star Destroyer.
 
2011-11-30 08:07:48 PM

simplicimus: It takes Anakin a while to remember he has a mother.



Anakin's father is Captain James T. Kirk.

images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2011-11-30 08:10:01 PM

BroVinny: Jim from Saint Paul: Vinny, it's "What does God need with a starship", not "why".

Yeesh.

I bow to your superior skills. You'll have to forgive me--I've had sex about 1,000 times since I last watched that movie.

/almost every time, with a partner


Liar!
 
2011-11-30 08:10:11 PM
Fisher's clearly insane now but I degress. In regard to Star Wars and Trek, Shatner couldn't hold her jockstrap. Shatner shoulda woulda could've been a Jenny Craig spokesperson when Empire hit the big screen. He fell flat after the kick ass. Fat and bald he went on to cement his legacy in many Colombo episodes. That no talent hack deserves billionaire status less then Zuckerberg or dare I say 50 cent?
 
2011-11-30 08:11:41 PM

Nihilist's Guide to Reticent Entropy: [i291.photobucket.com image 398x505]

1. First of all, it's "lasers", not "lazers".

2. And Star Destroyers don't just have laser. They have turbolasers, and a lot more. Here's the standard armament of an Imperial II-class Star Destroyer:

Octuple barbette turbolaser or Ion cannons (8)
Heavy turbolaser batteries (5)
Turbolaser batteries (5)
Additional turbolaser batteries (26+)
Heavy ion cannons (20)
Phylon Q7 tractor beam projectors (10)

And let me point out that turbolaser bolts can obliterate small asteroids, and it has been calculated that a single Star Destroyer turbolaser bolt has about the same output as the bomb that took out Hiroshima.
source

3. Star Destroyers DO have deflector shields that are at least as powerful as those on Galaxy-class ship from Star Trek.

4. Star Destroyers also carry fighters and other ships. Here's a standard complement:
TIE starfighters (72)
Lambda-class shuttles (8)
Delta-class stormtrooper transports (15)
Assault gunboats (5)
A variable number of GAT-12 Skipray Blastboats
Gamma-class assault shuttle (1+)
Repair and recovery vehicles
AT-AT barges
AT-AT walkers (20)
AT-ST walkers (20)
Various ground vehicles
Prefabricated garrison bases

5. A Star Destroyer has more than just one guy manning the weapons console, too. They have an entire crew (37,085) that is dedicated to the operation of the ship, and a good chunk of that crew is actually manning weapons bays and consoles. They're assisted by targeting computers, but since the Star Destroyer has at least 64 heavy weapons emplacements on the top, bottom, sides, front and back of the ship, they've got a distinct need for more than just one fellow firing the one main gun, as in a Galaxy-class ship.

This is no contest. The Enterprise has been shown to be incapable of even destroying a single small asteroid. A Star Destroyer has been shown blasting asteroids into dust with minimal effort.

The ONLY advantage the Galaxy-class ship has over the Star Destroyer is transporter technology, which any Trek fan knows is baffled by shields; If either ship has shields up, it won't work. I guarantee you the Imperials aren't going to drop their shields, and even if they did, beaming a proton torpedo onto their bridge wouldn't stop them. Why? There are auxiliary command posts, for one, and a Star Destroyer doesn't put all its most important equipment and personnel in just one place on the ship.

On top of that, these things have TEN tractor beam projectors, and two large docking clamps/claws that are used to capture ships a lot bigger than a Galaxy-class starship.

In truth, I doubt a Galaxy-class starship could stand up to a Corellian CR90 corvette, much less an Imperial Star Destroyer.


You sound serious. I am taking you seriously.
I am taking the hypothetic space battle serious too.
This is serious!
 
2011-11-30 08:11:41 PM

Kanemano: the Enterprise and the Star Trek Universe uses battleship tactics, Star wars and BSG use Aircraft carrier tactics,


Not really. BSG was a ship of the line. Same with a Star Destroyer. Sure they deploy flying elements but both are meant to take a beating and fight in close quarters.
 
2011-11-30 08:13:13 PM

ununcle: Fisher's clearly insane now but I degress


I've met her and she might be a little "off" because of her pharmaceutical past but she's very bright and very funny and self deprecating as opposed to being a pompous dick like Shatner.

/loves Trek, loves Shatner but he's a pompous dick
 
2011-11-30 08:13:59 PM

badLogic: Virulency: Kanemano: Thanks for the Meme-ries: [i291.photobucket.com image 398x505]

also why don't they EVER transport a bomb or something onto another ship?

For a transporter to work the shields must be down. If the shields are down generally a single photon torpedo will do the trick.
Or they could just beam all the life-forms off the ship and capture it.


Uhhh... No.

I'm pretty sure the Enterprise cannot hold 37,085 people. Last I checked, the Enterprise D was made to hold about 1,014 people.
 
2011-11-30 08:14:30 PM

dstanley: [jb.org image 278x216]


+1
 
2011-11-30 08:14:40 PM

BroVinny: [fc04.deviantart.net image 640x400]

THIS. TRUMPS. EVERYTHING.


Came here to say this ;)
 
2011-11-30 08:16:40 PM

simplicimus: Outside of the original movie and Nemesis, what's the third?


The third is most of the other ones.
 
2011-11-30 08:16:52 PM

ha-ha-guy: Also SW suffers in that every official game, comic book, and novel is canon. So dozens of authors have gotten to further butcher the physics of SW over the past decades. People try to retcon it into something uniform, but it's pointless to a degree.


Nope. Lucas has stated that certain books, games, and comic books are not canon and he will ignore them at will when developing new projects.

/as he did with the god awful prequels
 
2011-11-30 08:17:01 PM
Shatner: records HAS BEEN
Fisher: Appears in weight loss commercials

/do the math
 
2011-11-30 08:17:08 PM

Mugato: ununcle: Fisher's clearly insane now but I degress

I've met her and she might be a little "off" because of her pharmaceutical past but she's very bright and very funny and self deprecating as opposed to being a pompous dick like Shatner.

/loves Trek, loves Shatner but he's a pompous dick


Hug time!

startrekparodies.com
 
2011-11-30 08:17:28 PM

Nihilist's Guide to Reticent Entropy: And let me point out that turbolaser bolts can obliterate small asteroids, and it has been calculated that a single Star Destroyer turbolaser bolt has about the same output as the bomb that took out Hiroshima.
source


Not those damn asteroid calculations again. That's Saxtonite logic if there ever was any.

It got worse when that wanker Saxton went from just arguing about the length of Super Star Destroyers to actually co-writing a few SW books and inserting his opinions. Thus, by using the SW canon rules, fanboys could come back and say the numbers clearly made Star Wars win. . .because the books they were citing were had fanboy authors that put in numbers so far over-the-top that it became a joke.

I did my time in the trenches in the old "Imperial Star Destroyer vs. Galaxy Class Starship" near-infinite usenet threads back in the mid-to-late 90's. That was an infinite well of nerdrage I never want to see again.
 
2011-11-30 08:19:36 PM

Nihilist's Guide to Reticent Entropy: [i291.photobucket.com image 398x505]

1. First of all, it's "lasers", not "lazers".

2. And Star Destroyers don't just have laser. They have turbolasers, and a lot more. Here's the standard armament of an Imperial II-class Star Destroyer:

Octuple barbette turbolaser or Ion cannons (8)
Heavy turbolaser batteries (5)
Turbolaser batteries (5)
Additional turbolaser batteries (26+)
Heavy ion cannons (20)
Phylon Q7 tractor beam projectors (10)

And let me point out that turbolaser bolts can obliterate small asteroids, and it has been calculated that a single Star Destroyer turbolaser bolt has about the same output as the bomb that took out Hiroshima.
source

3. Star Destroyers DO have deflector shields that are at least as powerful as those on Galaxy-class ship from Star Trek.

4. Star Destroyers also carry fighters and other ships. Here's a standard complement:
TIE starfighters (72)
Lambda-class shuttles (8)
Delta-class stormtrooper transports (15)
Assault gunboats (5)
A variable number of GAT-12 Skipray Blastboats
Gamma-class assault shuttle (1+)
Repair and recovery vehicles
AT-AT barges
AT-AT walkers (20)
AT-ST walkers (20)
Various ground vehicles
Prefabricated garrison bases

5. A Star Destroyer has more than just one guy manning the weapons console, too. They have an entire crew (37,085) that is dedicated to the operation of the ship, and a good chunk of that crew is actually manning weapons bays and consoles. They're assisted by targeting computers, but since the Star Destroyer has at least 64 heavy weapons emplacements on the top, bottom, sides, front and back of the ship, they've got a distinct need for more than just one fellow firing the one main gun, as in a Galaxy-class ship.

This is no contest. The Enterprise has been shown to be incapable of even destroying a single small asteroid. A Star Destroyer has been shown blasting asteroids into dust with minimal effort.

The ONLY advantage the Galaxy-class ship has over the Star Destroyer is transporter technology, which any Trek fan knows is baffled by shields; If either ship has shields up, it won't work. I guarantee you the Imperials aren't going to drop their shields, and even if they did, beaming a proton torpedo onto their bridge wouldn't stop them. Why? There are auxiliary command posts, for one, and a Star Destroyer doesn't put all its most important equipment and personnel in just one place on the ship.

On top of that, these things have TEN tractor beam projectors, and two large docking clamps/claws that are used to capture ships a lot bigger than a Galaxy-class starship.

In truth, I doubt a Galaxy-class starship could stand up to a Corellian CR90 corvette, much less an Imperial Star Destroyer.


Did anyone else scream... NERD?
 
2011-11-30 08:20:11 PM
startrekparodies.com

Looks like he's licking giant rat anus.
 
2011-11-30 08:21:19 PM

WeenerGord: [startrekparodies.com image 160x128]

Looks like he's licking giant rat anus.


It's a Mugato.
 
2011-11-30 08:21:23 PM

Gonzee: You sound serious. I am taking you seriously.
I am taking the hypothetic space battle serious too.
This is serious!


www.roflcat.com
 
2011-11-30 08:21:27 PM

bravian: ha-ha-guy: Also SW suffers in that every official game, comic book, and novel is canon. So dozens of authors have gotten to further butcher the physics of SW over the past decades. People try to retcon it into something uniform, but it's pointless to a degree.

Nope. Lucas has stated that certain books, games, and comic books are not canon and he will ignore them at will when developing new projects.

/as he did with the god awful prequels


There are several "levels" of canon. Anything in the movies or modern TV shows trumps anything in the books. The books trump the toys and radio plays. The toys and radio plays trump the old (pre-90s) cartoons and comic books. And if George says it is no longer canon, then it is no longer canon no matter where it came from.

Trek has no such strict controls. Books go all willy-nilly and run off into Starfleet Battles universe sometimes, or they just ignore other books entirely. They have rules that must be followed, but every Trek book is considered non-canon unless you want to consider it canon, in which case it's canon until something comes along to retcon it.
 
2011-11-30 08:22:25 PM

BroVinny: ha-ha-guy: Man if I could delete any one author from SW canon, Anderson wins hands down.

What's his name, the asshole who kicked off Chewie is a close second.

R. A. Salvatore.

To be fair, he didn't act unilaterally. The powers-that-be that authorized the New Jedi Order story arc have some culpability as well.


All I remember from that arc is:

Jedi: Oh no these things are "immune" to the force. Oh no its armor is lightsaber proof!
Me: So grab that boulder over there with the force and beat its brains out. Jesus.
200 more pages of the Jedi acting stupid.
Me: You know for all his faults, Vader would have ended this invasion long ago.

/I swear the Vong were created so that Zahn's "furry little lizard that repels the force" idea wasn't the worst abuse of the Force in the books
 
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