GreenAdder: Apple
...
cause cancer

Beat me to it.

I doubt Apple causes cancer, it's mainly the radiation from their phones.

/i keed...

Adolf Oliver Nipples: I'll take my chances with the juice. Beer and wine cause more immediate deleterious effects, such as my breaking out in handcuffs.


win

It's been known for a very long time apple seeds contain arsenic, if the juice companies are processing those along with everything else they should be arrested for criminal negligence causing bodily harm.

Everything gives you cancer. Stop worrying about it.

This just in: Apple and grape juice cause cancer. Consider using beercider and wine as safe alternatives.

Is it kosher to do a FTFY to a headline?

For the sake of simplicity, here's a complete list of things that don't cause cancer:

Inconsolable (new window)

J. Frank Parnell: It's been known for a very long time apple seeds contain arsenic, if the juice companies are processing those along with everything else they should be arrested for criminal negligence causing bodily harm.

Learned that from GI Joe. Anyone else remember that episode where they had to kill that...thing....with a shiatton of apples?

But! But! But.. What about the farking doctor?

Er... so the study found that arsenic levels in juice exceed the FDA limit for water, but do not exceed the FDA limit for juice.

What am I supposed to be upset about now?

Apple seeds, like cherries and a number of other fruits, have naturally ocurring cyanogenic acids (cyanide). Not arsenic. The presence of arsenic is environmental. This supports my theory that if God wanted us to eat fruits, they wouldn't have that shiat. Eat bacon, instead.

One way or another, life is a one-way ride. I'm going to fecking enjoy it and if I'm pickled when I'm done, who the fark cares?

zato_ichi

I was wondering why i knew about aresnic in apple seeds, i think you remebered for both of us, good job!

see mom, cartoons do more than rot your brain

Hard cider and brandy are still ok right?

Jake Havechek: In downtown Boston there are always old Chinese people gobbing all over the place because swallowing saliva is considered "unhealthy".

When I was a small child, during one visit to the dentist's office, the oral hygienist stuck the suction tube in my mouth and warned me that I shouldn't swallow.

I did not realize at the time that she only meant while the cleaning was in progress.

I left very confused about what I should be doing each of the hundreds of times a day that saliva pooled up inside my mouth.

Way ahead of ya, subby.

So, basically, IF a transformation from organic to inorganic arsenic occurs in this context there's a POSSIBILITY you may develop long-term health effects if you consistently drink A CERTAIN SUBSET of tested juice brands.

Duly noted. Should I panic now, or are we not being reactionary idiots today?

J. Frank Parnell: It's been known for a very long time apple seeds contain arsenic, if the juice companies are processing those along with everything else they should be arrested for criminal negligence causing bodily harm.

No, apple seeds do not contain arsenic. They contain cyanide. And even at that they don't contain enough to hurt you unless you're eating a shiat ton of apples and the seeds. The arsenic in apple juice comes from the fact that the trees grow in soil which contains arsenic.

And if you're going to worry about getting sick from something as sugary as apple juice, maybe try worrying about something that's actually likely to be a problem. Like diabetes.

FDA allowable levels for water are 10ppb
FDA allowable levels for juice are 23ppb

Study finds levels in TEN PERCENT of JUICE is higher than the allowable amounts for WATER - but NONE are even close to allowable amounts in juice.

Headline should be: "Child health advocates push for stricter standards on arsenic levels in juice"

Instead headline is: "ZOMG!!!! Apple juice is KILLING your kids"


I hate people.

fappomatic: This supports my theory that if God wanted us to eat fruits, they wouldn't have that shiat.

Actually, the seeds are mostly indigestible to humans. That's the whole point of the fruit. You eat it, you shiat out the indigestible seeds somewhere, a new plant grows from your shiat baby.

You could probably chuck down cherry pits all day long and never suffer any consequences since your gut won't process them anyway.

Adolf Oliver Nipples:

I'll take my chances with the juice. Beer and wine cause more immediate deleterious effects, such as my breaking out in handcuffs.

That's something I don't understand: alcohol is a sedative and I experience it accordingly. A little takes the edge off, a little more puts me in a good mellow mood, and any more after that just makes me sleepier -- unless I gulp down enough fast enough to throw up, wet my pants or come to in an uncomfortable position someplace. If I get arrested for anything I did while drunk (as opposed to nodding off in public) it'll most likely be unauthorized camping or whatever they call passing out on the sidewalk. The only person I'm dangerous too when I'm when I'm drunk is myself, and I'm pretty obviously expendable these days.

If I need chemical assistance to "act out" I'll go for stimulants that induce the opposite of sedation. You know: meth, coke, ephedrine, etc. Thing that make you wide awake and give you energy.

And if I need help to perform sexually I wouldn't use booze or uppers: that's what Viagra and Cialis are for. Sex and "substances" don't mix (and I much prefer the latter these days anyway).

I.e. you people are weird. Your body chemistry is all farked up and/or you've bought into a lot of bullshiat that has nothing to do with the real effects of ethanol; I think the latter, as I've known plenty of flat-out drunks who were incapable of hurting anyone except by puking, pissing or falling on them.

Would smoking catnip make you purr?

Can you get cancer from the kids on the Welch's commercials? I smell a class action lawsuit.

Contrabulous Flabtraption:

it would seem that there is nothing that doesn't cause cancer and it's simply a fact of life if you live long enough.

That's my take on it too. So unless you've got really farked up genes and/or tremendously bad luck the easiest way to avoid cancer is to die no later than 60 by "artificial" means. That'll help prevent most heart attacks and strokes too.

Traffic accidents and gunshots prevent more health problems than fish oil ever could.

fappomatic: Apple seeds, like cherries and a number of other fruits, have naturally ocurring cyanogenic acids (cyanide). Not arsenic. The presence of arsenic is environmental. This supports my theory that if God wanted us to eat fruits, they wouldn't have that shiat. Eat bacon, instead.

One way or another, life is a one-way ride. I'm going to fecking enjoy it and if I'm pickled when I'm done, who the fark cares?

I'm going to keep the quote "life is a one-way ride". I might even embellish it to be "Life is a one-sided opportunity to die the way you want".

Splinshints:


Actually, the seeds are mostly indigestible to humans. That's the whole point of the fruit. You eat it, you shiat out the indigestible seeds somewhere, a new plant grows from your shiat baby.

You could probably chuck down cherry pits all day long and never suffer any consequences since your gut won't process them anyway.

That's why you have to save up a lot of them, crush them up very finely and gobble a whole lot at once.

Just don't mix the powder with Metamucil or prune juice, that defeats the purpose.

Adolf Oliver Nipples: david1963: Adolf Oliver Nipples:

I'll take my chances with the juice. Beer and wine cause more immediate deleterious effects, such as my breaking out in handcuffs.

david1963:
That's something I don't understand: alcohol is a sedative and I experience it accordingly. A little takes the edge off, a little more puts me in a good mellow mood, and any more after that just makes me sleepier -- unless I gulp down enough fast enough to throw up, wet my pants or come to in an uncomfortable position someplace....

Adolf Oliver Nipples:
Good for you. You don't have to understand. You don't even have to accept. Truthfully, your approval or disdain is entirely irrelevant. All that matters it what effect it has on me and why I choose to abstain from it.

Christ, all that from a simple joke? Get a grip.

You're telling me to get a grip? You're the one who gets yourself in trouble because you've hypnotized yourself into believing falsehoods about ethanol.

Ethanol is a sedative. Sedatives put people to sleep.

What gets you in trouble ain't the booze, it's what you believe the booze does. E.g., I can drink a pint of tequila and still not beat my wife: in those case the guy uses alcohol as an excuse to get violent, because he really wants to pound on a woman but has trouble working up the guts. (Which doesn't mean wife-beating is a good thing of course, or that anybody ought to do it, only that if I wanted to beat up a woman I'd have to be pretty sober to accomplish it.)

And hey, don't take my word for it: Google is your friend. Look for papers written by people with "MD" and/or "PhD" after their names.

But I'm not saying alcohol is good for everybody or that you shouldn't avoid it if you want to. If you feel you need booze to help you do things I don't approve of then by all means abstain.

More for me that way. I like booze because it makes me all PEACEFUL & stuff.

Republicans want to get rid of all the regulations on business... you know, the ones that prevent putting arsenic in our juice... because the invisible hand of the market will take care of problems like this.

david1963: Adolf Oliver Nipples: david1963: Adolf Oliver Nipples:

I'll take my chances with the juice. Beer and wine cause more immediate deleterious effects, such as my breaking out in handcuffs.

david1963:
That's something I don't understand: alcohol is a sedative and I experience it accordingly. A little takes the edge off, a little more puts me in a good mellow mood, and any more after that just makes me sleepier -- unless I gulp down enough fast enough to throw up, wet my pants or come to in an uncomfortable position someplace....

Adolf Oliver Nipples:
Good for you. You don't have to understand. You don't even have to accept. Truthfully, your approval or disdain is entirely irrelevant. All that matters it what effect it has on me and why I choose to abstain from it.

Christ, all that from a simple joke? Get a grip.

You're telling me to get a grip? You're the one who gets yourself in trouble because you've hypnotized yourself into believing falsehoods about ethanol.

Ethanol is a sedative. Sedatives put people to sleep.

What gets you in trouble ain't the booze, it's what you believe the booze does. E.g., I can drink a pint of tequila and still not beat my wife: in those case the guy uses alcohol as an excuse to get violent, because he really wants to pound on a woman but has trouble working up the guts. (Which doesn't mean wife-beating is a good thing of course, or that anybody ought to do it, only that if I wanted to beat up a woman I'd have to be pretty sober to accomplish it.)

And hey, don't take my word for it: Google is your friend. Look for papers written by people with "MD" and/or "PhD" after their names.

But I'm not saying alcohol is good for everybody or that you shouldn't avoid it if you want to. If you feel you need booze to help you do things I don't approve of then by all means abstain.

More for me that way. I like booze because it makes me all PEACEFUL & stuff.

You sound like you need a stiff drink. Grab one for me while you're up.

/Make mine a double.

Splinshints: No, apple seeds do not contain arsenic. They contain cyanide. And even at that they don't contain enough to hurt you unless you're eating a shiat ton of apples and the seeds. The arsenic in apple juice comes from the fact that the trees grow in soil which contains arsenic.

Ok. I got the two naturally occurring poisons mixed mixed up. How i learned the seeds were poisonous was through a guy i know who was new to raising animals, and fed his chickens whole apples, causing them to die.

An amusing contradiction is the FDA uses cyanide as why people cannot sell seed extracts for their vitamin B17, which is allegedly a cancer remedy. The small levels of cyanide are supposedly too high for their liking. But when it comes to something loaded with sugar and has little health benefit at all, cyanide is apparently fine in even larger doses.

Bah, mixed them up again! Hope you get my point, though.

I May Be Crazy But...replied to my latest rant with:

You sound like you need a stiff drink. Grab one for me while you're up.

/Make mine a double.

Another thing booze does is reduce and inhibit my aggression. Heh.

By the way, when I typed about violent drunks I was thinking about some of the asshole rednecks I grew up around. Like Jackey's parents: his father got drunk to have an excuse to abuse his wife, and she'd get drunk with him to encourage him to beat up their two little boys instead. I swear those kids must have fallen off every swing in the neighborhood several times. It almost made me glad when she'd sport some bruises herself, like when Jackey got himself locked up in juvie so he could be someplace safe for a while.

People like that give booze-hounds a bad name. They simply don't deserve to imbibe the Holy Nectar.

Anyway. Excuse me.

Cider and Wine.

For shame subby. For shame!

Juice is dangerous?

old news

Adolf Oliver Nipples: david1963: What gets you in trouble ain't the booze, it's what you believe the booze does.

No, what gets me in trouble is what I do when I am under the influence of alcohol. It's that simple

Right: your false idea concerning the effects of alcohol produces behaviors when you've been drinking that you'd be less likely to do when you're dry. And if it's far easier to take the pledge than analyze and change your behavior rationally then the effect is the same: you cease getting arrested for shiat that didn't need doing.

Me, I'm lucky. I know that sedatives produce sleep or unconsciousness; anything else is socially constructed. So the more I drink the less likely I am to get into serious trouble.

False ideas about the effects of substances are common: rhinos are endangered because millions of limp-dick Chinese think powdered rhino horn helps them get it up. It would be far easier to hand out free Viagra ("Better than rhino horn!") than to convince these people to take better care of themselves and be pickier with their hookers or wives. ("No wonder you can't get it up for that...thing. Have you tried the Flag Trick?")


People are stupid. Even me: for years I've been arguing on the Internet with people who are incapable of listening.

Apple? Cancer?

It occurs to me that one way to fix this once and for all would be to eliminate all the juice.

I May Be Crazy But...: It occurs to me that one way to fix this once and for all would be to eliminate all the juice.

Nah, not going to post the pic. You can't make me.