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(Courier Mail) Interesting First there was porn-porn. Then there was food porn. Now the hottest new trend is property porn. "Scenes that capture explosive tempers and despair are property porn's money shots"   (couriermail.com.au) divider line 49
More: Interesting, food porn, investments, sense of self  
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7055 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Nov 2011 at 11:09 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2011-11-30 01:36:11 AM
Property porn caused a large part of the housing bubble. Its a tough addiction to break.

As a 3rd generation family real estate renovation and rental company we have seen just about every kind of housing market.

You should keep an eye on old time landlords.....when they stop buying, its officially a bubble. We know instinctively what prices we can afford to pay and still make a profit.

The worst part was being in the middle of the bubble and telling friends in the neighborhood that they were about to pay too much for a home. There is a resentment after you do that which remains no matter the outcome.

I had a contract on a three family home....poor condition, great neighborhood, nice lot, etc....for $68k . A property flipper got between me and the seller and bought it for $76k. He spent $100k renovating it and reduced it to a two family then sold it for $225k. That couple reduced it to a single family (tore out a kitchen which had literally never been used) and built a garage and a tacky brick and fake iron fence around he property line and put up an enormous fountain in the front yard.....four tiers of imported mexican glory. They got divorced and sold the house for $329k, at a loss. Then two gay property flippers moved in and replaced all the plumbing fixtures with gold swans in all the bathrooms, did some bad tile in the master shower, stained the hardwood floors almost black and sold it for $419k to some good friends of ours. The gay couple split after the sale, with one buying the home next door and repeating the horrible flipping tactics. Our friends took down the fountain, moved in and almost immediately had marital trouble. They divorced and the house went on the market for the 5th time in 6.5 years, but now the bubble had burst. SO did some pipes.

They sold short for $145k to a city employee who renovated it again and has now moved in.

If you subtract the landscaping improvements done over time from the purchase price it turns out the house was worth something very close to the original $68k that I had a contract on.

Property can be brutal for the uninformed.
 
2011-11-30 02:32:04 AM
I guess I missed the whole porn-porn thing.
 
2011-11-30 05:54:28 AM
HOW ITS MADE is techno porn.
 
2011-11-30 09:20:13 AM
Call me old fashioned, but I still prefer porn-porn.
 
2011-11-30 11:10:37 AM
hard to fap to
 
2011-11-30 11:12:44 AM
DjangoStonereaver: HOW ITS MADE is techno porn.

I guess I'm not the first one to compare the music on that show to cheap porn music.
 
2011-11-30 11:15:13 AM
FTFA: Owning a quarter of an acre is what everyone should aspire to, only that's becoming increasingly difficult as the average housing block shrinks.

Uhm, doesn't he mean one-tenth of a hectare?
 
2011-11-30 11:16:26 AM
dudemanbro: I guess I missed the whole porn-porn thing.

Booble (pops)

Knock yourself out, bro.
 
2011-11-30 11:17:15 AM
Obviously, NSFW.
 
2011-11-30 11:17:24 AM
I got yer hardwood flooring right here.
 
2011-11-30 11:19:05 AM
Snarfangel: Call me old fashioned


Came to post these exact words. Leaving... satisfied.
 
2011-11-30 11:19:41 AM
Pop that Zit.com = Zit porn
 
2011-11-30 11:20:47 AM
archichris: They got divorced

archichris: The gay couple split after the sale

archichris: They divorced

Well, there's your problem right there. If there's one thing I've learned, it's to never share your assets with someone else.
 
2011-11-30 11:20:48 AM
archichris: Property porn caused a large part of the housing bubble.

Anytime there's a TV show about an exploding market, it's time to get out of that market.

That being said, here's a list of businesses you probably shouldn't go into:

-Custom motorcycle fabrication
-Cakes
-Competitive pit BBQ
-Gold prospecting
-Logging
-Ice road trucking
-Commercial fishing
 
2011-11-30 11:22:09 AM
Anyone else here love to watch House Hunters International?
 
2011-11-30 11:22:30 AM
attention span of a retarded fruit fly: Pop that Zit.com = Zit porn

Woah.. is there such a place?

I've watched a few good Youtube videos of people lancing boils. It's disgusting, but satisfying at the same time.
 
2011-11-30 11:23:41 AM
s3.amazonaws.com
 
2011-11-30 11:26:34 AM
Property porn relies on all this to be effective, to suck us in and take us on a "journey" with the person, couple or family who are buying. It reduces decision-making and stress to a superficial narrative with a "they-all-lived-happily-ever-after" ending.


What in the hell does 'living happily ever after' have to do with porn? TFA sounds like it was written by some woman who was accidentally allowed near a computer.
 
2011-11-30 11:26:35 AM
Property porn is an extended get-rich-quick pitch with a side of "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" voyeurism thrown in.
But it's the same old shiat. It used to be game shows, then it was day-trading, then literal gambling and now property 'flipping'.

"Yes, even *you* can do this and make a ten, fifty or even a hundred thousand dollar score!"
The pawn shop and resale shows are basically the same. The only reason they're not as popular is because the money isn't as big and the process can't be dressed up as well. It's the same problem eBay had.

And, yeah, Antique Roadshow is the same shiat, but for old people.
 
2011-11-30 11:27:02 AM
Property porn? Meh.

Pretty much every anime that isn't a space opera has "property hentai". The apartments and houses there are tiny, so in fiction there's always at least one character from a rich family that lives in an obscenely huge mansion. Hell, they'd probably put it in live action if they had the budget for it.
 
2011-11-30 11:27:11 AM
None of you have been to the Crazy Horse in Vegas at 3am when the burn victims come out.
/it's so hot!
 
2011-11-30 11:28:34 AM
BigNumber12: "What in the hell does 'living happily ever after' have to do with porn?"

Two Chicks at the Same Time == Living Happily Ever After
 
2011-11-30 11:30:25 AM
Somebody likes the word "porn." For future reference, it doesn't work with everything.
 
2011-11-30 11:31:11 AM
tricycleracer: archichris: Property porn caused a large part of the housing bubble.

Anytime there's a TV show about an exploding market, it's time to get out of that market.

That being said, here's a list of businesses you probably shouldn't go into:

-Custom motorcycle fabrication
-Cakes
-Competitive pit BBQ
-Gold prospecting
-Logging
-Ice road trucking
-Commercial fishing


So I can still open a pawn shop?
 
2011-11-30 11:33:05 AM
PsiChi: Somebody likes the word "porn." For future reference, it doesn't work with everything.

Porn makes everything better. Except maybe your family Christmas dinner.
 
2011-11-30 11:33:44 AM
suburbanguy: tricycleracer: archichris: Property porn caused a large part of the housing bubble.

Anytime there's a TV show about an exploding market, it's time to get out of that market.

That being said, here's a list of businesses you probably shouldn't go into:

-Custom motorcycle fabrication
-Cakes
-Competitive pit BBQ
-Gold prospecting
-Logging
-Ice road trucking
-Commercial fishing

So I can still open a pawn shop?


Buying junk from abandoned storage containers is still viable, too.
 
2011-11-30 11:34:08 AM
suburbanguy: tricycleracer: archichris: Property porn caused a large part of the housing bubble.

Anytime there's a TV show about an exploding market, it's time to get out of that market.

That being said, here's a list of businesses you probably shouldn't go into:

-Custom motorcycle fabrication
-Cakes
-Competitive pit BBQ
-Gold prospecting
-Logging
-Ice road trucking
-Commercial fishing

So I can still open a pawn shop?


I knew I missed something!
 
2011-11-30 11:36:12 AM
attention span of a retarded fruit fly: Pop that Zit.com = Zit porn

Ignore for you!
 
2011-11-30 11:37:02 AM
BurnShrike: Except maybe your family Christmas dinner.

I was told there would be no exceptions.

/insert turkey baster joke here
 
2011-11-30 11:37:40 AM
PsiChi: attention span of a retarded fruit fly: Pop that Zit.com = Zit porn

Ignore for you!


That seems a rather petty reason to ignore someone. Was his post that offensive? Or are you now having trouble getting any work done because the site is sucking up all your spare time?
 
2011-11-30 11:38:19 AM
I will admit to watching that Flip Men show on Spike, just to see the real crap properties they buy sight unseen at the court house.
 
2011-11-30 11:41:48 AM
BurnShrike: PsiChi: attention span of a retarded fruit fly: Pop that Zit.com = Zit porn

Ignore for you!

That seems a rather petty reason to ignore someone. Was his post that offensive? Or are you now having trouble getting any work done because the site is sucking up all your spare time?


Maybe I was a little hasty. I was thinking he meant it as real porn, like getting off on people popping zits. I can't even imagine looking at it, much less that.

Maybe I'll un-ignore him someday...
 
2011-11-30 11:43:39 AM
PsiChi: BurnShrike: PsiChi: attention span of a retarded fruit fly: Pop that Zit.com = Zit porn

Ignore for you!

That seems a rather petty reason to ignore someone. Was his post that offensive? Or are you now having trouble getting any work done because the site is sucking up all your spare time?

Maybe I was a little hasty. I was thinking he meant it as real porn, like getting off on people popping zits. I can't even imagine looking at it, much less that.

Maybe I'll un-ignore him someday...


img36.imageshack.us
 
2011-11-30 11:44:35 AM
Entheogenic: FTFA: Owning a quarter of an acre is what everyone should aspire to, only that's becoming increasingly difficult as the average housing block shrinks.

Uhm, doesn't he mean one-tenth of a hectare?


Entheogenic: FTFA: Owning a quarter of an acre is what everyone should aspire to, only that's becoming increasingly difficult as the average housing block shrinks.

Uhm, doesn't he mean one-tenth of a hectare?



Dammitsomuch. I only got .24 of an acre. I'll try to sneak my property line out slowly over the next 5 years to get the extra .01 of an acre.
 
2011-11-30 11:47:51 AM
archichris: What really got me is how many times 'they got divorced' came up in your tale.
 
2011-11-30 11:53:51 AM
spunkymunky: Dammitsomuch. I only got .24 of an acre. I'll try to sneak my property line out slowly over the next 5 years to get the extra .01 of an acre.


I've been planning to do this with the neighbor behind my house. 3 lots come together at a weird angle, so if I slowly rotate the fence outward, he'll never notice his bean garden slowly disappearing.
 
2011-11-30 12:32:17 PM
BurnShrike: PsiChi: Somebody likes the word "porn." For future reference, it doesn't work with everything.

Porn makes everything better. Except maybe your family Christmas dinner.


Oh, I dunno.

When I was ten years old, my entire family farked me under the Christmas tree.

I'm so sorry.

Yeah, I bet you are... "jingle balls, jingle balls" my stupid brother started singing.
 
2011-11-30 12:36:33 PM
My wife is addicted to all of these "property porn" shows. She watches them constantly. It's weird--I can see it altering her impression about who can afford a home, kind of like how real porn makes guys start to imagine all women are hot 20 year old sluts. These shows always depict normal young couples right out of school just waltzing around and taking their pick of which home they want to buy, like they're picking out a bicycle they like. As if someone like that could actually afford a home. We're in our thirties and there's still no way. The affect, of course, is, every time I get home from work she whines, "WHEN ARE WE GOING TO BUY A HOUSE???"

"When we have $150K in cash saved up for a down payment, that's when! Start clipping coupons!"

/California
 
2011-11-30 12:52:22 PM
stiletto_the_wise: kind of like how real porn makes guys start to imagine all women are hot 20 year old sluts

yeah, but you can't kick a house to the curb and hit it in the back of the head with a toothbrush like you can with a 20 year old slut.
 
2011-11-30 01:19:46 PM
Do people cry? It's only hot if the [real estate agent] is crying.
 
2011-11-30 01:24:56 PM
I'd watch property porn

savagetruth.blogharbor.com
 
2011-11-30 01:36:10 PM
Salmon: I'd watch property porn

[savagetruth.blogharbor.com image 200x310]


That woman has quite the rack. Bad teeth, but the tits make up for it.
 
2011-11-30 02:04:30 PM
archichris: Property porn caused a large part of the housing bubble. Its a tough addiction to break.

As a 3rd generation family real estate renovation and rental company we have seen just about every kind of housing market.

You should keep an eye on old time landlords.....when they stop buying, its officially a bubble. We know instinctively what prices we can afford to pay and still make a profit.


We benefitted from the bubble both as buyer and seller this year--we decided to downsize from a four-bedroom suburban McHouse into an urban condo. Our unit's in a century-old building that had a lot of money poured into refurbishment, but everything was finished right as the market went to hell and we paid a lot less for than what was originally asked. We sold our house in twelve days because we bought it cheap in 2001 and it appreciated significantly. We were able to slash the asking price well below assessment and still come out with a decent profit. The only loser in this was the condo refurbisher, who lost a huge amount of money and ended up having his own unit go into foreclosure. If he'd started the project two years earlier he would have made some major cash.

/timing is everything
 
2011-11-30 03:54:51 PM
stiletto_the_wise: My wife is addicted to all of these "property porn" shows. She watches them constantly. It's weird--I can see it altering her impression about who can afford a home, kind of like how real porn makes guys start to imagine all women are hot 20 year old sluts. These shows always depict normal young couples right out of school just waltzing around and taking their pick of which home they want to buy, like they're picking out a bicycle they like. As if someone like that could actually afford a home. We're in our thirties and there's still no way. The affect, of course, is, every time I get home from work she whines, "WHEN ARE WE GOING TO BUY A HOUSE???"

"When we have $150K in cash saved up for a down payment, that's when! Start clipping coupons!"

/California


My wife is hooked on them, too. The refrain I hear is, "If they can do it, whey can't we"? She has to be reminded that casually picking and choosing what you'll spend $400,000 on as part of a TV show is different than actually paying for it when the cameras are turned off. She comes up with crazy ideas. She wants to sell our house at some price it would never fetch even at the height of the bubble and buy something outrageously expensive. When I finish laughing, she decides that we can spend money we don't have in order to renovate the place. The latest pant-on-the-head nonsense was the debate over buying a bigger-screen TV for decorative reasons that are so damn dumb I can't state them here.

My wife is one retirement away from the VP of finance for the corporation that employs her. She's known for her tenacity in maintaining fiscal soundness and responsibility at her place of employment. Yet let her watch an hour or so of property porn and she's wanting to spend money like there's no tomorrow. If it weren't for her looks, I'd have to kill her.
 
2011-11-30 04:00:30 PM
Snarfangel: Call me old fashioned, but I still prefer porn-porn.

You said porn twice.
 
2011-11-30 05:38:11 PM
suburbanguy: tricycleracer: archichris: Property porn caused a large part of the housing bubble.

Anytime there's a TV show about an exploding market, it's time to get out of that market.

That being said, here's a list of businesses you probably shouldn't go into:

-Custom motorcycle fabrication
-Cakes
-Competitive pit BBQ
-Gold prospecting
-Logging
-Ice road trucking
-Commercial fishing

So I can still open a pawn shop?


Your starting inventory can be stuff you bought at storage auctions.
 
2011-11-30 06:53:52 PM
images.cheezburger.com
 
2011-12-01 02:37:28 PM
ThighsofGlory: suburbanguy: tricycleracer: archichris: Property porn caused a large part of the housing bubble.

Anytime there's a TV show about an exploding market, it's time to get out of that market.

That being said, here's a list of businesses you probably shouldn't go into:

-Custom motorcycle fabrication
-Cakes
-Competitive pit BBQ
-Gold prospecting
-Logging
-Ice road trucking
-Commercial fishing

So I can still open a pawn shop?

Your starting inventory can be stuff you bought at storage auctions.


Or old stuff you found laying around in some old hippie's barn of crap on his 30 acre plot of redneck heaven
 
2011-12-01 03:44:25 PM
Do you mind? I'm a collector.
 
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