Heather Taffet unavailable for comment.


'Cause her head is missing.

Heh, see what you did there subby.

Tired of sloppy, cut rate funerals?

You've tried the rest, now try the best.

The Plots R Us Mortuary Service.

/don't forget to try our free salad bar.

I thought there was a frame with a pulley system in the hole that lowered the casket?

At least they didn't cut off granny's feet to make her fit into the casket.

MaudlinMutantMollusk: FTFA: They are alleged to have carried jumped on 91-year-old Agnes Zimmick's coffin after her funeral of on December 1, 2009.

That's some fine proof-readin' there, Lou

/and aren't those holes supposed to be a standard size? Was she buried in a piano crate or something?

Came here to ask if she a was a great big fat person.
This might be another reason to avoid the scam and expense of a burial/funeral. It's a scam. Have them cremated.

I do agree that there is no excuse for this and they should be sued.

Grave-digger, when you dig my grave, can you make it tiny, so my grandkids can get paid

MaudlinMutantMollusk: FTFA: They are alleged to have carried jumped on 91-year-old Agnes Zimmick's coffin after her funeral of on December 1, 2009.

That's some fine proof-readin' there, Lou

/and aren't those holes supposed to be a standard size? Was she buried in a piano crate or something?

Maybe they're shrinking like groceries. Half a gallon of orange juice is now 59 ounces. Half a gallon of ice cream is now 48 ounces, etc. Reduce the width of a grave by a few inches and fit another row on the end.

+1 to subby. Nicely done.

Hey! You're young and swingin',
No time to think about tomorrow
But there ain't no way to deny it
Some day, you're gonna buy it.
Plan today,
Go for a Ferryman
Tomorrow!
Ferryman, Ferryman,
he's the man with the plot, the man with the plan!
Ferryman, Ferryman,
He's the mortician man who loves you!
A lot!

You know, when the guy who invented Doritos was buried, they used one of those vending-machine screws to drop him in the hole.

If she's dead, she's not 91 years old any more. Why is the age of the corpse relevant anyway, would it be less tragic if it was a person that died at 65?

Meh, she's dead. She doesn't care.

Metaluna Mutant: Hey! You're young and swingin',
No time to think about tomorrow
But there ain't no way to deny it
Some day, you're gonna buy it.


+1 internet.

//and a turkey

Should've called Ron Jeremy. I understand he's got lots of experience getting things into holed you'd swear they couldn't fit into.

2009? Isn't there a statute of limitations for such things?

CorruptDB: If she's dead, she's not 91 years old any more. Why is the age of the corpse relevant anyway, would it be less tragic if it was a person that died at 65?

I came here to ask of a 4 year old.

This reads like some absurd scenario that only occurs in a torts exam. This doesn't happen in real life.

hAZy: 2009? Isn't there a statute of limitations for such things?

They slipped it in a couple days short of it. PA has a 2 year limitations period. The incident apparently occurred on Dec. 1st 2009.

Not that I really care, but why does the Daily Mail cover so much petty US news?

What a waste.

MaudlinMutantMollusk: FTFA: They are alleged to have carried jumped on 91-year-old Agnes Zimmick's coffin after her funeral of on December 1, 2009.

That's some fine proof-readin' there, Lou

/and aren't those holes supposed to be a standard size? Was she buried in a piano crate or something?

They should have buried her sideways

MaudlinMutantMollusk: /and aren't those holes supposed to be a standard size?

This was Pittsburgh, not Blackburn, Lancashire.

jumped on 91-year-old Agnes Zimmick
You sick bastards.

AbbeySomeone: MaudlinMutantMollusk: FTFA: They are alleged to have carried jumped on 91-year-old Agnes Zimmick's coffin after her funeral of on December 1, 2009.

That's some fine proof-readin' there, Lou

/and aren't those holes supposed to be a standard size? Was she buried in a piano crate or something?

Came here to ask if she a was a great big fat person.
This might be another reason to avoid the scam and expense of a burial/funeral. It's a scam. Have them cremated.

I do agree that there is no excuse for this and they should be sued.

"We dig graves, not cellars, it's fifty dollars, or up she comes."

/Is anything too obscure for Fark??

You should have seen the hearse...

MBooda: What a waste.
[www.stomptokyo.com image 320x240]

My job here has been taken care of - thankyou

brainiac-dumdum: Not that I really care, but why does the Daily Mail cover so much petty US news?

Petty? In case you haven't noticed death rituals are pretty important to just about everyone on the planet.

Hey genius, how about ya take that there shovel and move that dirt around real good. That way that box will slide right in. There had to be alcohol involved, who would do this immediately after the funeral with family still around?

They shoulda listened to Kellee Patterson...

StoPPeRmobile: brainiac-dumdum: Not that I really care, but why does the Daily Mail cover so much petty US news?

Petty? In case you haven't noticed death rituals are pretty important to just about everyone on the planet.

The ritual part was over.

I think I need to kill someone in Wales...

Rachel Ryan (new window)

StoPPeRmobile: CorruptDB: If she's dead, she's not 91 years old any more. Why is the age of the corpse relevant anyway, would it be less tragic if it was a person that died at 65?

I came here to ask of a 4 year old.

For that, there's Rubbermaid.

As for me, my will states that on my death, my corpse gets the full Weekend At Bernie's treatment.

CorruptDB: If she's dead, she's not 91 years old any more. Why is the age of the corpse relevant anyway, would it be less tragic if it was a person that died at 65?

please. it's relevant to reporting. remember the five W's. the age is a fact, the act is the tragedy.

Wow, how insensitive. I would have waited at least until the mourners had left before jumping up and down on the casket.

/what?

This is kind of curious. Most cemeteries require a burial vault these days and vaults would have enough room for pretty much any casket out there ...unless she was a large woman, and at 91 years of age I doubt that highly. Caskets can tilt a little bit going in if they catch on the sides of the vault but usually don't require "jumping on them" to coax them in just a gentle lift with the lowering apparatus and they center themselves just fine.

/works in the funeral industry

30+ years ago the workers would wait until everyone was gone and bash the casket down with a backhoe.
We (I worked construction at the time) thought that was pretty funny. The first time.

Did they think that would actually work?

Has anyone told the stiffy joke?

/YES! WE HAVE! A VIDEO!

Maybe they were trying to return the old lady's button?




"Hey, you dropped this!"