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(Chicago Sun-Times)   Advice columnist suggests that moms use the Twilight movies to talk to their teen daughters about sex. Absent from the suggestions: "Don't get knocked up by someone 90 years older than you are"   (suntimes.com) divider line 100
    More: Silly, advice columnists, moms, teachable moment  
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2092 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Nov 2011 at 11:42 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-11-29 11:44:22 AM
What about "don't fark serial killers"?
 
2011-11-29 11:45:19 AM
Evidently you can just let them watch the birth scene and they'll fall into an epileptic fit, and then you can use your home sterilization kit on them.

From what I've heard.
 
2011-11-29 11:46:04 AM
I think they should Twilight to talk to their daughters about taste and discernment of quality in film and literature and why life is too short to spend any of it on lousy books and movies.
 
2011-11-29 11:47:06 AM

gshepnyc: I think they should Twilight to talk to their daughters about taste and discernment of quality in film and literature and why life is too short to spend any of it on lousy books and movies.


^^
 
2011-11-29 11:47:17 AM
And this is why all the girls now are vapid whores.
 
2011-11-29 11:47:19 AM
The sex scenes both in the book and the movie were puritanically lame, and not worthy of discussion.

The birth scene, however, was positively seizure inducing. (new window)
 
2011-11-29 11:48:02 AM
So they want women to tell their daughters their lives are completely meaningless unless they're involved with an older man and or a hirsute native american?
 
2011-11-29 11:48:52 AM
Oral and anal are not REAL sex Mom. That's just what you do so guys will like you.
 
2011-11-29 11:49:05 AM
If you waited until your daughter is a teenager to talk about sex, you're too late. So instead, maybe you should have a chat with them about how farking stupid their entertainment tastes are.
 
2011-11-29 11:50:08 AM
Should you put a condom on the wooden stake?
 
2011-11-29 11:50:28 AM
Actually I think there's an angle here. Isn't the teenage girl in the films the one who is actually gagging for it while the sparkly dudes all about restraint?
 
2011-11-29 11:51:22 AM

lennavan: If you waited until your daughter is a teenager to talk about sex, you're too late. So instead, maybe you should have a chat with them about how farking stupid their entertainment tastes are.


Not all teens are having sex and not all teens want to yet.
 
2011-11-29 11:52:33 AM
Why not talk about how dating a creepy, over-possessive stalker is a bad idea?

shepnyc
I think they should Twilight to talk to their daughters about taste and discernment of quality in film and literature and why life is too short to spend any of it on lousy books and movies.

And this.
 
2011-11-29 11:52:52 AM
"See dear, he's not somebody you should ever want to have a real relationship with, but she stays with him because he's great it bed."
 
2011-11-29 11:53:04 AM
Don't fark dead people.
 
2011-11-29 11:53:17 AM
I knew all about sex before i was a teen
 
2011-11-29 11:54:04 AM
As long as they don't used the books...doesn't the chick get banged so hard she breaks some bones?
 
2011-11-29 11:54:07 AM
Actually a pretty good article.
 
2011-11-29 11:54:59 AM
As a dad of 2 teenage girls, I actually thought the article author's discussion of "look at the fictional relationship...Edward completely dominates Bella, she's not allowed to make any decisions, is pushed into marriage when she wasn't sure she wanted it, and Bella isn't allowed to have, let alone pursue her dreams" and how that's a good opening for a discussion with your kids about how these relationships are WRONG was spot on.

I haven't seen any of the Twilight movies, and don't plan to. But any "teachable moment" that can help young girls realize that they don't need some pushy, domineering asshole to define who they are--no matter how "in love" they think they might be, should be taken advantage of.
 
2011-11-29 11:56:52 AM

cptjeff: "See dear, he's not somebody you should ever want to have a real relationship with, but she stays with him because he's great it bed."


I don't get that. I thought Twilight vampires are supposed to be super fast.
 
2011-11-29 11:57:54 AM
Another opt out for bad parents.

"Watch this it'll teach you about sex and shiat"
 
2011-11-29 11:58:15 AM
i13.photobucket.com
unavailable for comment
 
2011-11-29 11:58:59 AM

dontpointthatthingatme: lennavan: If you waited until your daughter is a teenager to talk about sex, you're too late. So instead, maybe you should have a chat with them about how farking stupid their entertainment tastes are.

Not all teens are having sex and not all teens want to yet.


Well sure but saying all is a pretty close approximation. If you're 18-30 years old, your doctor just assumes you currently have multiple sex partners. True story.
 
2011-11-29 11:59:26 AM
Werewolves and vampires aren't real. If some boy tells you he's one of those, he's crazy. Get away from him.
 
2011-11-29 12:05:31 PM
No, really, these books are a great way to teach young girls about sex, love, relationships, etc. "Read these books carefully, sweetie. If you ever pull any of this sh*t, I will disown your stupid ass."

Just remember: Twilight is the story about a teenager's choice between necrophilia and beastiality.

/shamelessly stolen
 
2011-11-29 12:05:50 PM
I just realized what Twighlight is really about. It's written by a Mormon to sell Mormon values. And Mormon values include dirty old men knocking up teenage girls.* Hence, the idea is to use her relationship with a much older vampire sell to young girls the idea that massive age difference in a relationship isn't a bad thing.

* not that there's anything wrong with that.
 
2011-11-29 12:06:04 PM

lennavan: Well sure but saying all is a pretty close approximation. If you're 18-30 years old, your doctor just assumes you currently have multiple sex partners. True story.


Multiple meaning you're having sex with more than one person? Why would they just assume that? Especially at 18.
 
2011-11-29 12:07:28 PM
FTFA: Twi-hards everywhere will tell you that Edward and Bella are this generation's Romeo and Juliet. Their love is forbidden and even life-threatening, and much like Shakespeare's original lovers, Edward and Bella seem to be characters from a different era. Moms and daughters alike are flooding the theaters bonding over a dose of fairy-tale love.

If by "fairy-tale love", you mean "marry a controlling older man who stalks you & threatens you with violence, rough sex & a risky pregnancy", then yes, by all means, let's bond with our daughters over this romance.

I watched Twilight (the non-Rifftrax version) for the first time a few days ago. The Edward/Bella relationship is so dysfunctional, I actually felt a little embarrassed for glimpsing the strange inner psychology of both the writer & the older women who love this story.

/line
 
2011-11-29 12:10:36 PM
I used it as an opportunity to explain to my teenaged niece that this crap she was making me watch with her was an unhealthy, abusive relationship, and that any guy who actually behaves that way in the real world is a creep who should be cockpunched repeatedly.
 
2011-11-29 12:12:29 PM

dontpointthatthingatme: lennavan: Well sure but saying all is a pretty close approximation. If you're 18-30 years old, your doctor just assumes you currently have multiple sex partners. True story.

Multiple meaning you're having sex with more than one person? Why would they just assume that? Especially at 18.


Well, currently was poor wording. By current I mean since your last visit. They assume you've had multiple sex partners in the last year. They assume that because 1) you'd never admit it anyway, 2) there's no reason not to err on the safe side and 3) it's prevalent enough that there are a lot of people who it's true for.

If you're 20 years old, going in for a regular doctor visit and say you and your partner were virgins who had sex, they're still gonna want to test you for STDs anyway assuming either you or your partner are lying.
 
2011-11-29 12:14:03 PM

StandsWithAFist: The Edward/Bella relationship is so dysfunctional, I actually felt a little embarrassed for glimpsing the strange inner psychology of both the writer & the older women who love this story.


Don't forget the part about how several of the man-wolves are mated to infants and small children.

Creepy, that.
 
2011-11-29 12:14:11 PM
Don't forget the balls.
 
2011-11-29 12:26:53 PM

lennavan: 1) you'd never admit it anyway, 2) there's no reason not to err on the safe side and 3) it's prevalent enough that there are a lot of people who it's true for.


Ahh, okay. I see a lot of that on campus so I can understand why.
 
2011-11-29 12:26:57 PM

Timmy the Tumor: that's a good opening for a discussion with your kids about how these relationships are WRONG was spot on.


That's kind of where I had hoped the article was going, but they didn't even touch on it.
 
2011-11-29 12:27:12 PM
...or you know, you could just use it for toilet paper
 
2011-11-29 12:27:27 PM

aselene: I just realized what Twighlight is really about. It's written by a Mormon to sell Mormon values. And Mormon values include dirty old men knocking up teenage girls.* Hence, the idea is to use her relationship with a much older vampire sell to young girls the idea that massive age difference in a relationship isn't a bad thing.

* not that there's anything wrong with that.


So THIS it gave me the willies.
 
2011-11-29 12:28:44 PM
FTFA: Twi-hards everywhere

LOL WUT

/yippy-ki-yay, vampirefarker
 
2011-11-29 12:29:44 PM

Timmy the Tumor: As a dad of 2 teenage girls, I actually thought the article author's discussion of "look at the fictional relationship...Edward completely dominates Bella, she's not allowed to make any decisions, is pushed into marriage when she wasn't sure she wanted it, and Bella isn't allowed to have, let alone pursue her dreams" and how that's a good opening for a discussion with your kids about how these relationships are WRONG was spot on.

I haven't seen any of the Twilight movies, and don't plan to. But any "teachable moment" that can help young girls realize that they don't need some pushy, domineering asshole to define who they are--no matter how "in love" they think they might be, should be taken advantage of.


This, very much so. Everything about the Edward/Bella relationship screams "abusive" and too many teenage girls are going "Yay, I want to be subservient to mah sparkly sharp-toothed MAN!" these days... they're going to get a wakeup call when their boyfriend punches them in the head for not making their sandwich fast enough, but since Bella can take all of the stuff Eddie throws at her, they're going to think that's just what happens in a loving relationship and crawl back to the kitchen.

Plus, Twilight's just bad fiction, and kids should be encouraged to read stuff that doesn't suck.
 
2011-11-29 12:29:50 PM

lennavan: dontpointthatthingatme: lennavan: Well sure but saying all is a pretty close approximation. If you're 18-30 years old, your doctor just assumes you currently have multiple sex partners. True story.

Multiple meaning you're having sex with more than one person? Why would they just assume that? Especially at 18.

Well, currently was poor wording. By current I mean since your last visit. They assume you've had multiple sex partners in the last year. They assume that because 1) you'd never admit it anyway, 2) there's no reason not to err on the safe side and 3) it's prevalent enough that there are a lot of people who it's true for.

If you're 20 years old, going in for a regular doctor visit and say you and your partner were virgins who had sex, they're still gonna want to test you for STDs anyway assuming either you or your partner are lying.


Well to be fair, there is a good change the guy is lying or leaving stuff out.

/Too many idiots running around thinking oral doesn't count.
 
2011-11-29 12:34:44 PM
Isn't the lesson "If you want to hook up with a 100-year-old immortal with the means to see and have seen everything the world has to offer and the massive historical changes that have defined humanity in the last century yet chooses to hang out in a high school the key is to always look like you're smelling your own farts?"
 
2011-11-29 12:35:24 PM
Can we do the "lessons" loudly and in the theater?

Now honey, do you think it's appropriate for women in their 40s to get all wet over a guy who is supposed to be 17?

Wow, look at that, the adult werewolf is "imprinting" on the infant daughter of his ex-love. What would you do if you suspect a guy you're dating has inappropriate feelings for your kids? Would YOU smile and hug?

What? We're discussing the movie, how can we be disturbing anyone? I'm educating my kid here!
 
2011-11-29 12:37:47 PM

LaraAmber: /Too many idiots running around thinking oral doesn't count.


Oh, I know not to count. You're supposed to do the alphabet thing.
 
2011-11-29 12:37:59 PM
In a world where a lot of parents prefer to shirk this duty and keep their children ignorant for as long as they can under the guise of religious propriety, is this really the only avenue left?

I'ma go head to my dark room now and weep for mankind.
 
2011-11-29 12:38:52 PM

dontpointthatthingatme: lennavan: If you waited until your daughter is a teenager to talk about sex, you're too late. So instead, maybe you should have a chat with them about how farking stupid their entertainment tastes are.

Not all teens are having sex and not all teens want to yet.


Ah hahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahahaha!

Ha!
 
2011-11-29 12:41:11 PM
"okay, dear, here are your choices:

bestiality or necrophelia.

Neither will get you pregnant but both will get you arrested.

Off to the spa!"
 
2011-11-29 12:43:55 PM

spidermann: "okay, dear, here are your choices:

bestiality or necrophelia.

Neither will get you pregnant but both will get you arrested.

Off to the spa!"


You lie!
 
2011-11-29 12:45:22 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com
Or you can show her what a real vampire looks like.
 
2011-11-29 12:46:33 PM

Timmy the Tumor: As a dad of 2 teenage girls, I actually thought the article author's discussion of "look at the fictional relationship...Edward completely dominates Bella, she's not allowed to make any decisions, is pushed into marriage when she wasn't sure she wanted it, and Bella isn't allowed to have, let alone pursue her dreams" and how that's a good opening for a discussion with your kids about how these relationships are WRONG was spot on.

I haven't seen any of the Twilight movies, and don't plan to. But any "teachable moment" that can help young girls realize that they don't need some pushy, domineering asshole to define who they are--no matter how "in love" they think they might be, should be taken advantage of.


I don't know enough about the books or the movies to say a whole lot, but the relationships presented always seemed thoroughly farked to me. We need to support and role model healthy relationships is the media that our youth are reading so they know how to engage in them when they grow older.

Sadly, many parents are doing a good job modeling them on their own.
 
2011-11-29 12:47:25 PM
Twilight's birth scene may be the best thing to happen to abstinence-only education since... well... ever, really.
 
2011-11-29 12:47:48 PM
Having seen all the movies (yeah girlfriend request) I don't think it is for a discussion on sex, but a discussion on relationships it would be very useful. The girl in the movies depends on the men to make all her choices for her and they force her into doing things she isn't really sure she wants to do. In a relationship a woman should be an equal partner not subservient to the man. Relationships that start out with the man expecting the woman to serve him and heed to his wishes even mildly tend to lead to more abusive relationships.

Waiting until 13 to speak to your daughter about sex will mean that you are already too late. In most cases she has already done everything, but intercourse and she is likely to have intercourse that year or the next. In almost all cases the male is older mostly around 16 to 18 some even older. If you want to believe your snowflake is one of the very few who haven't go right ahead, but I can tell you the likelihood your belief is correct is extremely low. Those who have daughters below 13 I suggest you start at 11 or 12 at the very latest and abstance is not going to fly teach protection and the unlikelihood that they will meet the male they are going to marry before their age of 17.

I know this because I have done a lot of volunteer work in junior and high schools. I have also worked with high tech crimes.
 
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