FARK.com: (6770797) Evolution explains why you went mentally insane on Black Friday

(Motherboard.tv)		Evolution explains why you went mentally insane on Black Friday (motherboard.tv)		43
		More: Interesting, Black Friday, evolution, bodies of water, gears, Dora the Explorer, Thanksgiving dinner

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43 Comments (+0 »)

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Mentat

2011-11-29 12:44:47 AM

I sat at home on Black Friday and watched football. Fark you evolution.

bighasbeen

2011-11-29 01:08:34 AM

I drove my girlfriend crazy trying to pick out a new TV to buy with my Thanksgiving gambling winnings.

Britney Spear's Speculum

2011-11-29 02:02:00 AM

I sat at home on Black Friday and watched football. Fark you teach the controversy.

Benevolent Misanthrope

2011-11-29 02:11:35 AM

Mentat: I sat at home on Black Friday and watched football. Fark you evolution.

Britney Spear's Speculum: I sat at home on Black Friday and watched football. Fark you teach the controversy.

I sat home on Black Friday and watched BBC Documentaries on English History. Fark you Darwin.

croesius

2011-11-29 03:29:44 AM

My wife went shopping on Black Friday.
She went after work around 6 pm, and bought some toilet paper. Nothin' crazy.

It is actually half-ply, I shiat you not.

/voting? why the hell not!

miss diminutive

2011-11-29 04:54:09 AM

Benevolent Misanthrope: Mentat: I sat at home on Black Friday and watched football. Fark you evolution.

Britney Spear's Speculum: I sat at home on Black Friday and watched football. Fark you teach the controversy.

I sat home on Black Friday and watched BBC Documentaries on English History. Fark you Darwin.

I sat on my football on Darwin Day and watched controversial documentaries. Fark you Rebecca Black.

WeenieGuy

2011-11-29 05:06:36 AM

Really, subby? "Mentally insane?" As opposed to the other kind of crazy?

TheHopeDiamond

2011-11-29 05:07:41 AM

How about, "I just enjoy the excitement?" It's like a half-day at school, but for grown-ups.

pecosdave

2011-11-29 05:10:03 AM

What I bought on Black Friday:

1st Store - Kroger (I kept it real by using my bike trailer instead of driving) -

Frozen Burritos, Frozen Taquitos, Ice Cream, Milk, Cereal, Yogurt, Corn Chips, Salsa, Cheese Dip, A thermal shopping bag, Fruit Juice, Drink Powder (Kool-Aid, Gatorade, Tang)

2nd Store - Webster Bicycle:
Spokes, Spoke Wrench, 16T Freewheel

Uhmm, so it was a normal Friday off (I work Sunday through Thursday). Does this make me one of those black Friday shoppers, or do I get a pass?

MrEricSir

2011-11-29 05:13:49 AM

I invented a new holiday this year: Reverse Black Friday. All you do is clean out your closet and give stuff to charity.

untaken_name

2011-11-29 05:17:33 AM

WeenieGuy: Really, subby? "Mentally insane?" As opposed to the other kind of crazy?

Well, it *is* distinguished from "dance crazy"

random result: GIS for "dance crazy":

cdn02.cdnwp.thefrisky.com

JRoo

2011-11-29 06:17:09 AM

I bought one damn Nintendo that I'd saved up for months for, that was on sale, and suddenly I'm a bloodthirsty lemming.

secularsage

2011-11-29 06:30:57 AM

Wow, that article was pulled straight out of the author's arse, with nary a single piece of actual scientific evidence to support the claim.

I at least expected to see a reference to dopamine reward systems or the amygdala, but nope... the author waxes on about lemmings and bird migration patterns and other things that have nothing to do with human evolution. I've seen children's cartoons make better arguments than this piece.

Teknowaffle

2011-11-29 06:34:37 AM

secularsage: Wow, that article was pulled straight out of the author's arse, with nary a single piece of actual scientific evidence to support the claim.

I at least expected to see a reference to dopamine reward systems or the amygdala, but nope... the author waxes on about lemmings and bird migration patterns and other things that have nothing to do with human evolution. I've seen children's cartoons make better arguments than this piece.

Evolutionary psychology is really, really starting to reach.

"Why do I laugh at farts?"
"Because monkeys that laughed at farts were the most successful"

SundaesChild

2011-11-29 06:44:21 AM

I went to see the Muppets on Black Friday. No shopping, trampling or pepper spray.

I must not have evolved correctly.

Xai

2011-11-29 06:50:39 AM

sometimes i love the UK. In the Uk, we'd queue up.

untaken_name

2011-11-29 07:00:23 AM

secularsage: Wow, that article was pulled straight out of the author's arse, with nary a single piece of actual scientific evidence to support the claim.

You didn't see that it was about evolutionary psychology before you read it, I'm assuming, or you'd have expected that.

MusicMakeMyHeadPound

2011-11-29 07:38:42 AM

I went to work and wasted my time there in the usual manner. Fark you, Fark.

SuperChuck

2011-11-29 07:39:28 AM

WeenieGuy: Really, subby? "Mentally insane?" As opposed to the other kind of crazy?

I went physically insane. Though, if you think about it, it's all just neurons and electrical pulses so technically it's the same thing.

Sybarite

2011-11-29 08:11:21 AM

WeenieGuy: Really, subby? "Mentally insane?" As opposed to the other kind of crazy?

I once went insane in the membrane.

/I'll jack your ass like a looter in a riot

jso2897

2011-11-29 08:25:03 AM

MrEricSir: I invented a new holiday this year: Reverse Black Friday. All you do is clean out your closet and give stuff to charity.

We had a yard sale over the weekend - made $190 and I'm giving all the leftover books to the library, clothes and housewares to charity, etc.
Didn't buy anything but beer.
Fark you, Jesus.

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy

2011-11-29 08:26:35 AM

miss diminutive: Benevolent Misanthrope: Mentat: I sat at home on Black Friday and watched football. Fark you evolution.

Britney Spear's Speculum: I sat at home on Black Friday and watched football. Fark you teach the controversy.

I sat home on Black Friday and watched BBC Documentaries on English History. Fark you Darwin.

I sat on my football on Darwin Day and watched controversial documentaries. Fark you Rebecca Black.

I sat at home on Black Friday and watched a season of Babylon 5. Fark you, Shadows.

DigitalCoffee

2011-11-29 08:27:48 AM

I went completely mental on Black Friday. I filled the car with gas and then put some minutes on my Go Phone.
Completely.Out.Of.My.Gourd!

/and on cyber Monday the nice UPS guy delivered my new wifi router from Newegg

dragonchild

2011-11-29 09:09:29 AM

WeenieGuy: Really, subby? "Mentally insane?" As opposed to the other kind of crazy?

Did I ever tell you about Sammy Jenkins?

StoPPeRmobile

2011-11-29 09:12:42 AM

Are we going to see more pics of the hot chick in grey, yet?

kingoomieiii

2011-11-29 09:20:47 AM

Teknowaffle: "Why do I laugh at farts?"
"Because monkeys that laughed at farts were the most successful"

The gene for laughing at farts is linked for the gene that makes those eye-crusties. And now-extinct apes that had eye-crusties were most successful.

Game, set, match.

secularsage

2011-11-29 09:22:08 AM

untaken_name: secularsage: Wow, that article was pulled straight out of the author's arse, with nary a single piece of actual scientific evidence to support the claim.

You didn't see that it was about evolutionary psychology before you read it, I'm assuming, or you'd have expected that.

Evolutionary psychology may be a soft science, but it's a legitimate field with some basis in observational science. It would have been nice for the author to at least offer some citations from published work, even if they were from summaries in Psychology Today.

CheekyMonkey

2011-11-29 09:35:35 AM

Benevolent Misanthrope: Mentat: I sat at home on Black Friday and watched football. Fark you evolution.

Britney Spear's Speculum: I sat at home on Black Friday and watched football. Fark you teach the controversy.

I sat home on Black Friday and watched BBC Documentaries on English History. Fark you Darwin.

You guys all sound fat. I went hiking on Black Friday.

CheekyMonkey

2011-11-29 09:36:56 AM

croesius: My wife went shopping on Black Friday.
She went after work around 6 pm, and bought some toilet paper. Nothin' crazy.

It is actually half-ply, I shiat you not.

/voting? why the hell not!

Half-ply? WTF is that? Your wife found some Mobius toilet paper?

StoPPeRmobile

2011-11-29 10:33:21 AM

CheekyMonkey: croesius: My wife went shopping on Black Friday.
She went after work around 6 pm, and bought some toilet paper. Nothin' crazy.

It is actually half-ply, I shiat you not.

/voting? why the hell not!

Half-ply? WTF is that? Your wife found some Mobius toilet paper?

Sounds like John Wayne paper.

Doesn't take shiat from anyone.

Tax Boy

2011-11-29 10:37:18 AM

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: miss diminutive: Benevolent Misanthrope: Mentat: I sat at home on Black Friday and watched football. Fark you evolution.

Britney Spear's Speculum: I sat at home on Black Friday and watched football. Fark you teach the controversy.

I sat home on Black Friday and watched BBC Documentaries on English History. Fark you Darwin.

I sat on my football on Darwin Day and watched controversial documentaries. Fark you Rebecca Black.

I sat at home on Black Friday and watched a season of Babylon 5. Fark you, Shadows.

I sat at home on Black Friday and played Portal 2. Fark you, empty promises of cake.

CheekyMonkey

2011-11-29 10:51:38 AM

StoPPeRmobile: CheekyMonkey: croesius: My wife went shopping on Black Friday.
She went after work around 6 pm, and bought some toilet paper. Nothin' crazy.

It is actually half-ply, I shiat you not.

/voting? why the hell not!

Half-ply? WTF is that? Your wife found some Mobius toilet paper?

Sounds like John Wayne paper.

Doesn't take shiat from anyone.

John Wayne paper would be rough & scratchy on the outside, and pink & frilly on the inside.

GibbyTheMole

2011-11-29 11:43:26 AM

People lose their minds on Black Friday because they are selfish retards. No article needed. Saving a few bucks on a plastic trinket I don't need isn't worth the aggravation..

SandmanEatsYourBrain

2011-11-29 12:22:32 PM

secularsage: Wow, that article was pulled straight out of the author's arse, with nary a single piece of actual scientific evidence to support the claim.

Um, yeah, that's how journalism is done now, didn't you get the talking-point memo?

croesius

2011-11-29 01:47:32 PM

Holy Crap

2011-11-29 03:44:03 PM

tl;dr: People are farking stupid.

SoundOfOneHandWanking

2011-11-29 05:22:00 PM

Wouldn't that be de-evolution

Zel

2011-11-29 07:00:16 PM

SoundOfOneHandWanking: Wouldn't that be de-evolution

evolution doesnt have a direction, its just those who survive each generation.

kingoomieiii: Teknowaffle: "Why do I laugh at farts?"
"Because monkeys that laughed at farts were the most successful"

The gene for laughing at farts is linked for the gene that makes those eye-crusties. And now-extinct apes that had eye-crusties were most successful.

Game, set, match.

Nope, cats and dogs get eye crusties too, so that must have developed back when we had a common ancestor, rather early mammals. Youll have to find another species that laughs at farts to know when it evolved.

prjindigo

2011-11-29 07:58:09 PM

its the only truly american religious holiday.

We stand in line with strangers to buy discounted shiat that doesn't work that we don't need to give to people who don't want it with money we don't have.

prjindigo

2011-11-29 07:58:48 PM

Then say in our heads "see, I did this for you! you shiat! ACT LIKE YOU LIKE IT YOU fark"

Raoul Eaton

2011-11-29 08:28:59 PM

I slept late, did some laundry, played video games with the kid, read a book, and cooked dinner. True insanity. I'm glad subby's finally explained it.

Mentat

2011-11-29 11:56:03 PM

Tax Boy: Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: miss diminutive: Benevolent Misanthrope: Mentat: I sat at home on Black Friday and watched football. Fark you evolution.

Britney Spear's Speculum: I sat at home on Black Friday and watched football. Fark you teach the controversy.

I sat home on Black Friday and watched BBC Documentaries on English History. Fark you Darwin.

I sat on my football on Darwin Day and watched controversial documentaries. Fark you Rebecca Black.

I sat at home on Black Friday and watched a season of Babylon 5. Fark you, Shadows.

I sat at home on Black Friday and played Portal 2. Fark you, empty promises of cake.

I sat at home on Black Friday and watched football and now I'm the starting quarterback for the Colts. Fark you Lamark.

untaken_name

2011-11-30 03:28:20 AM

secularsage: Evolutionary psychology may be a soft science, but it's a legitimate field with some basis in observational science.

Well, this isn't a fight I really want to pick, so...I'll just say "But... you were reading mainstream media."

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