unyon: More to the point- since when is it illegal to be drunk aboard an aircraft?

Porter Airlines and their complimentary beer and wine are not amused.

Apparently the "Mile High Club" is really a prison gang.

I'd alcohol her real good.

I can touch you "anywhere" I want??

/dibs

correct term is "flying waitress", not "airline steward".

Where were these kinds of teachers back in the day I was an airline steward.

"After we serve dinner I'm going to take my 15-minute break. I'm going to need the lavatory and a moist towelette."

Any man doing the same thing would probably already be in jail for life.

I like that she was fantasizing about her 2 prior boyfriends. 3sum on a plane. What's the problem?

The judge said he hoped she would be allowed to continue to teach despite the sexual assault conviction.

Not even the slightest chance a judge would have said the same thing regarding a man convicted of similar conduct.

I would totally let her stow my carry-on in her over-head compartment.

Hershey Highway Patrol: Dear Skymall,
I never thought this would happen to me....

That might be the funniest thing I've read all day.

What's her number? I've got a couple of bottles of vodka left over from my last party.

I've always thought that would be a cool job because I haven't ever really traveled much but I would hate/hate/hate dealing with the people I think.

DROxINxTHExWIND: Me: *alcohol* *grope*

Her: Eww, police.

Me: Judge, I was drink and I thought she was a girl I know

Judge: GET THIS MENACE TO WOMEN AND CHILDREN THE FARK OUT OF MY SIGHT!! Revoke the teaching license, make him register as a sex offender, and...fark it, throw in a couple of months upstate so he can think about it all.


Have you considered breast implants and a wig? Maybe tucking the vice president so he's not out in the open?

DROxINxTHExWIND: Me: *alcohol* *grope*

Her: Eww, police.

Me: Judge, I was drink and I thought she was a girl I know

Judge: GET THIS MENACE TO WOMEN AND CHILDREN THE FARK OUT OF MY SIGHT!! Revoke the teaching license, make him register as a sex offender, and...fark it, throw in a couple of months years upstate so he can think about it all.


It appears you didn't take your skin tone into consideration....

My kind of woman, drunk and blindly promiscuous.

A teacher committed a sexual assault? But who broke his Imperial Conditioning?

Steward still a Virgin Atlantic.

According to court records, the judge sentenced her 'to be taken from this place and brought round to his place'. He then commented on Miss Goldberg's bodily structure, made several not-at-all legal remarks on the subject of fun and then placed his robes over his head and began to emit low moans.

I think reading that story through one more time might do it.

Kind of makes your brain sweat.

Hershey Highway Patrol: Dear Skymall,
I never thought this would happen to me....

+1.

Cyberluddite: jehovahs witness protection: Didn't she realize that they are all gay?

Pretty much the only point that needs to be made here. Everyone just move on to the next thread, nothing more to see here.

Once read an article written by a heterosexual male flight attendant. It was not an easy job for him.

she is a decent looking girl, the whole "they are all gay" thing is funny cuz its true. He probably cried about it later and felt violated.

/hetero man would feel the same if the girl doing it was old/fat/ugly.
/maybe

dukwbutter: correct term is "flying waitress", not "airline steward".

Their primary purpose for existence is passenger safety and always has been. Everything else they do is secondary.

2wolves: A list, please, of the folk of the U.K. without a drinking problem?

I'll be on it. I can count the number of alcoholic drinks I've had this year on one hand.

Bullshiat. Wonder if boyfriend believed that bullshiat. Whore.

Guns n' Farkin Roses: Hershey Highway Patrol: Dear Skymall,
I never thought this would happen to me....

That might be the funniest thing I've read all day.

Actually his handle did it for me.
Well played.

Isn't their job to see to the needs of the passengers? Also seriously what is the deal with women and alcohol? I mean I have been stone cold drunk and still wouldn't sleep with a number of women who offered. It seems women and a few drinks party time. Not complaining unless it happens to be my girlfriend who sleeps with anyone after a few drinks (yeah it happened to me) just wondering

Katherine Goldberg was putting the air steward in the upright, locked position in preparation for landing. Now if she started doing the safety instruction demonstration and was showing how to inflate the passenger flotation device...

spicorama: she is a decent looking girl, the whole "they are all gay" thing is funny cuz its true. He probably cried about it later and felt violated.

/hetero man would feel the same if the girl doing it was old/fat/ugly.
/maybe

You shut your whore mouth.
hetero secrets as it pertains to fat/ugly strategy remains secret.

spicorama:

/hetero man would feel the same if the girl doing it was old/fat/ugly.
/maybe

it depends on who's looking

Well, the manly stewardess in question must turn in his man card immediately. It is permanently revoked.

She can't both be so drunk she can't remember anything of what she'd done AND not drunk enough to maintain the presence of mind to tell her boyfriend that she thought the steward was him.

Just admit it, toots, you're a horny drunk and don't care where the willy comes from. You're not married; just dating so live free!

jehovahs witness protection: Didn't she realize that they are all gay?

Maybe she really was blinded by alcohol. Makes her story more believable.

/still not buying it

FTA - Mr O'Connell said: "In her complete alcoholic funk she was confusing him with her current boyfriend, Clayton, and Owen, a previous boyfriend.

Well since you imagined it was someone else, it's okay then...