And if you werent born in Africa, and don't speak any african languages, don't pick some Africam sounding name.

Looking at you, Shaqkwannah-Quaneesa Jackson.

I know that we're in a male-dominated society, but it always struck me as strange that we name children after their father, rather than the mother. It's not as important now, with DNA testing, but years ago the father of the child could be very difficult to determine. The one parent you can be sure of, is the mother.

It seems to me that the child should take the mother's surname rather than the father's.

Andromeda: Myself, I'm definitely planning to keep my own last name (I rather like it, and on a professional level have a publication history I wouldn't want to lose) but figure any hypothetical children of mine can have the name of my hypothetical husband. I figure if nothing else it will save those kids 18 years of correcting people in school who assume otherwise.

The strange thing is I've mentioned this once or twice to my female relatives and they treat said decision like an insult to said future husband. Remind me to never marry anyone who would get insulted over something so trivial.


Hey Andromeda, don't forget to not marry someone who's petty about their last name.

I just read your profile, and you're an Astro-geek! Awesome!

I've often thought about creating my own last name when I have kids. You know, start your own clan and everything. I'm not sure what I'd pick, but it would be unique. It's better than hyphenating, anyway.

Andromeda: BurnShrike: I've often thought about creating my own last name when I have kids. You know, start your own clan and everything. I'm not sure what I'd pick, but it would be unique. It's better than hyphenating, anyway.

Ha, my dad sort of did this when he got his citizenship, as the family name from the Old Country was completely unpronounceable as it had random consonants sprinkled in awkward places. Funny thing is my cousins still have the original one.

I know lots of foreigners will Anglicize their name when they come over, just to help the rest of us poor folk pronounce it. It must get frustrating having no one be able to say it properly. My family roots are from England, so it's already easy for English-speakers to pronounce.

And yep, astronomy rules. :-)

It sure does! I have no formal education in it, but I find it all fascinating. I feel so lucky to live in a time where we're just beginning to truly explore what's out there.

Neil DeGrasse Tyson is one of my heroes. That guy rocks.

RexTalionis: Andromeda: Myself, I'm definitely planning to keep my own last name (I rather like it, and on a professional level have a publication history I wouldn't want to lose) but figure any hypothetical children of mine can have the name of my hypothetical husband. I figure if nothing else it will save those kids 18 years of correcting people in school who assume otherwise.

See, coming from a culture (Chinese) where the wife keeps her own name, this just makes sense. What's the point of the extra expense and time wasted in making sure every place that has records on your life update their records so they can call you by your husband's name? That's pointless effort for no perceptible benefit, to say nothing of the adjustment period you go through so that you remember to answer to "Mrs. So-and-So" rather than your birth name.

It is silly, and it's a lot of work. It's a hold-over from the days where a woman was her husband's property.

Working in IT, I know it's a real pain when one of our employees changes her name. It's not just a simple process where you type in the new one and you're good to go. We have to change her records in HR, change her login for receiving her pay-stubs, change her computer login, email address, as well as several other accounts.

Andromeda: The strange thing is I've mentioned this once or twice to my female relatives and they treat said decision like an insult to said future husband. Remind me to never marry anyone who would get insulted over something so trivial.

I would consider taking my wife's name, but only if the name is very unusual. Yell2006 is rare and Germanic, and there are very few Rebel Yell2006's, perhaps less than 10, in the United States.

rebelyell2006: Andromeda: The strange thing is I've mentioned this once or twice to my female relatives and they treat said decision like an insult to said future husband. Remind me to never marry anyone who would get insulted over something so trivial.

I would consider taking my wife's name, but only if the name is very unusual. Yell2006 is rare and Germanic, and there are very few Rebel Yell2006's, perhaps less than 10, in the United States.

Future wife. I'm not married. Don't want to create any confusion.

The best hyphenated name I've ever seen: Rose Wilde-Irish. I've never met the woman, but I imagine her as a sexy redhead.

I'd rather the woman kept her name, having her take my name is weird

BurnShrike: I know that we're in a male-dominated society, but it always struck me as strange that we name children after their father, rather than the mother. It's not as important now, with DNA testing, but years ago the father of the child could be very difficult to determine. The one parent you can be sure of, is the mother.

It seems to me that the child should take the mother's surname rather than the father's.

My daughters name is Harold and my sons name is Betsy, named after their grandparents.

Andromeda: RexTalionis: Andromeda: Myself, I'm definitely planning to keep my own last name (I rather like it, and on a professional level have a publication history I wouldn't want to lose) but figure any hypothetical children of mine can have the name of my hypothetical husband. I figure if nothing else it will save those kids 18 years of correcting people in school who assume otherwise.

See, coming from a culture (Chinese) where the wife keeps her own name, this just makes sense. What's the point of the extra expense and time wasted in making sure every place that has records on your life update their records so they can call you by your husband's name? That's pointless effort for no perceptible benefit, to say nothing of the adjustment period you go through so that you remember to answer to "Mrs. So-and-So" rather than your birth name.

My thoughts exactly. I find this so obvious really that I was actually stunned that every woman I know so far has taken her husband's name. It's sort of like how guys will still ask a father for permission to marry a daughter before the daughter knows he wants to pop the question- traditions are nice, but not when the person who will be married to the guy is kept in the dark IMO.

And if you didn't know, all of this is why you're not married

edmo: The rest of the world seems to handle this just fine.

That explains why us 'mericans are worried then.

BurnShrike: Working in IT, I know it's a real pain when one of our employees changes her name. It's not just a simple process where you type in the new one and you're good to go. We have to change her records in HR, change her login for receiving her pay-stubs, change her computer login, email address, as well as several other accounts.

Directory Services. How do they work?

RexTalionis: BurnShrike: I know that we're in a male-dominated society, but it always struck me as strange that we name children after their father, rather than the mother. It's not as important now, with DNA testing, but years ago the father of the child could be very difficult to determine. The one parent you can be sure of, is the mother.

It seems to me that the child should take the mother's surname rather than the father's.

I thought most bastards do take the name of the mother.

No, most sluts pick the name of the guy they hope is the father. Usually the one with a job that doesn't pay cash under the table.

Andromeda: BurnShrike: I've often thought about creating my own last name when I have kids. You know, start your own clan and everything. I'm not sure what I'd pick, but it would be unique. It's better than hyphenating, anyway.

Ha, my dad sort of did this when he got his citizenship, as the family name from the Old Country was completely unpronounceable as it had random consonants sprinkled in awkward places. Funny thing is my cousins still have the original one.

And yep, astronomy rules. :-)

Hrm.... Poland, former Czechoslovakia, or Hungary?

/poland, three generations back
//recent polish expats laugh at my pronounciation of the name

I want to jump on this bandwagon, but my kid goes to school with a boy named Master and a girl named Tequila so my point and laugh schedule is full for the rest of the school year.

BurnShrike: The one parent you can be sure of, is the mother.

Unless, of course, you adopt a foundling, like the distaffbopper and I did.

BurnShrike: I know that we're in a male-dominated society, but it always struck me as strange that we name children after their father, rather than the mother. It's not as important now, with DNA testing, but years ago the father of the child could be very difficult to determine. The one parent you can be sure of, is the mother.

It seems to me that the child should take the mother's surname rather than the father's.

For that very reason, you want to associate a child with the father. A father's connection to a child is already tenuous because of the uncertainty of blood relation.

BurnShrike: I know that we're in a male-dominated society, but it always struck me as strange that we name children after their father, rather than the mother. It's not as important now, with DNA testing, but years ago the father of the child could be very difficult to determine. The one parent you can be sure of, is the mother.

It seems to me that the child should take the mother's surname rather than the father's.

Actually, that's exactly why children take the father's name in our society. It's the same reason that people are twice as likely to say that a baby looks like its purported father than its mother (when in fact all babies look like Rodney Dangerfield). It's to reassure and reinforce to the father that it really is his child so that he'll stick around and support it.

/My son has his mother's family name, because otherwise her family name would die with this generation
//Also my family name was made up about three generations back after my ancestors left Poland, so who cares if it gets passed down?
///My brother used to be wild. He has two children, and he doesn't know who the mothers are.
//Slashies
/Slashy

vudukungfu: ...don't pick some Africam sounding name...

So "Nikon Click Click" is out?

I have yet to meet a hyphenated last name person who wasn't high maintenance.

Believe it or not, your kids are capable of remembering their immediate ancestry without you writing it directly into their names. I could easily enough name off basically all the surnames of my great-grandparents by the time I was ten or so, even though my birth certificate only has my father's name.

Honestly, given a situation where I actually had to name children I think I'd prioritize not being a dick over whatever weird social engineering bullshiat idea leads to the hyphenated stuff. Is the mother insistent on her surname being included? Fine, use just the mother's surname. Not a huge deal. Grandparents upset by their name not being included? fark 'em, they're not the parents so it's not their call.

//Or give them the second surname as a middle name if it's that important. The whole family sharing a surname is the main point, what exactly that name is is kinda secondary.

vudukungfu: And if you werent born in Africa, and don't speak any african languages, don't pick some Africam sounding name.

Looking at you, Shaqkwannah-Quaneesa Jackson.

What is wrong with that? Do you object to non-Irish naming their children 'Sean'?

Andromeda: I figure if nothing else it will save those kids 18 years of correcting people in school who assume otherwise.

Hah. My son has my wife's last name (explained elsewhere). She kept her name partly for professional reasons, but mostly because of the prospect of dealing with the Social Security Administration.

I am now discovering that I bought myself 18 years of correcting people in school who assume I'm
"Mr. Herlastname"...

vice_magnet: I have yet to meet a hyphenated last name person who wasn't high maintenance.

I know someone who keeps all of her ex-husbands' names and she is unbelievable high maintenance. She has four last names now. Each husband has been successively worse to her.

I can't figure women out.

I always wondered the same thing... the one generation later and 4 names thing.

My kids have my name, so glad that they don't have the ex's name attached, at least I got "my way" for that. All her sisters' kids went with their family name, but pretty much all of them, the fathers never stuck around.

My wife's had kids prior to meeting me, and they have the hyphenated name, and it's been nothing but a serious pain in everyone's arse.

And as for as my name... I don't really attach much importance to it, aside that it "links" my kids to myself, but as far as what it is... as my family, ancestry, etc. is pretty crappy, I considered changing it many times... but because of the troubles to change it now (as I'd have to get all the kids names changed also), I never bothered.

For my wife, we live where legally, the woman has to keep her birth name, so for the marriage license, she hyphenated. For anything "official" she has to use her maiden name, but for anything for the kids, etc. she uses mine. This avoid a lot of confusion.

PainInTheASP: I like it when the divorcees keep their previous names after getting remarried. I personally know of one woman who's been through three marriages and kept every last name she had.

/Personally hope that #4 is named Jingleheimer-Schmidt.

THAT'S MY NAME TOO!

/don't send her my way - happily married already

BurnShrike: It seems to me that the child should take the mother's surname rather than the father's

Traditionally by that stage the surname is shared
was that really that hard to understand ?

surname=family name

Fay Evelyn Schlob-Dumbly-DeVay-Cochran

vice_magnet: I have yet to meet a hyphenated last name person who wasn't high maintenance.

True.

BurnShrike: I know that we're in a male-dominated society, but it always struck me as strange that we name children after their father, rather than the mother. It's not as important now, with DNA testing, but years ago the father of the child could be very difficult to determine. The one parent you can be sure of, is the mother.

It seems to me that the child should take the mother's surname rather than the father's.

I agree with others, the wife taking the husband's name was a sort of property marker. Also, a husband marrying a wealthy woman took her family's name for the influence and probably a bit of cash from her father.

The child's name is more complicated, though. Since it was obvious who the mother was, there is importance in the father naming the child so society knew who the father was. Kind of like the old Erickson, Johnson, etc. These were epitaphs that marked the father in a society where there was no other way to be sure.

"Oh, You can call me Ray ... "

My parents gave me a "unique" first name, and a hyphenated surname.

You would not give your kid a weird tattoo on his/her face, would you? Then why would you give them a weird name!

Brit with hyphenated name here. Name goes back several generations, so not a recent thing. Someone once asked my father "How do you spell hyphen?" when he gave his name.
And I've used online forms that refused to accept a hyphen, including Twitter of course. Bastards. No hyphen and my name is too long.

But I do have my own surname as a domain so my email address is f­ir­stna­meeman­ru­scom, which is nice.

My lady will be keeping her name, and I'll be keeping mine.

We haven't quite decided how we'll handle kids, but I kinda like the idea of daughters keeping hers, and sons keeping mine.

But I guess we'll see when we get that far.

czetie:
I am now discovering that I bought myself 18 years of correcting people in school who assume I'm
"Mr. Herlastname"...

So, um... why didn't you take her name, exactly? Not planning on having the marriage outlast the kids? Because that's kinda depressingly defeatist to not even bother having the same surname as your immediate family.