FARK.com: (6767628) Parents increasingly hit Google to help pick baby names, particularly to avoid stripper names for their daughters. "I didn't want there to be a Google identity for her to wrestle with"

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		Parents increasingly hit Google to help pick baby names, particularly to avoid stripper names for their daughters. "I didn't want there to be a Google identity for her to wrestle with" (nytimes.com)		264
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264 Comments (+0 »)

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Somacandra

2011-11-27 11:51:44 PM

Well I guess that strikes "Santorum" off my list of baby-names.

bunner

2011-11-27 11:56:42 PM

"I didn't want there to be a Google identity for her to wrestle with:

0_o

No sh*t?

Seriously?

miss diminutive

2011-11-28 12:55:42 AM

If parents want to avoid naming their girls after pornstars I think we're going to see a lot more Mildreds, Ethels and Gertrudes in the near future.

WhoIsNotInMyKitchen

2011-11-28 01:33:50 AM

Mercedes Santorium is now officially off the list.

LincolnLogolas

2011-11-28 01:36:07 AM

miss diminutive: If parents want to avoid naming their girls after pornstars I think we're going to see a lot more Mildreds, Ethels and Gertrudes in the near future.

I don't know, I'd assume there's a number of those names amongst the "old lady" porn stars. Rule 34 would support this.

FirstNationalBastard

2011-11-28 01:36:50 AM

miss diminutive: If parents want to avoid naming their girls after pornstars I think we're going to see a lot more Mildreds, Ethels and Gertrudes in the near future.

...until Porn finally catches up, and we see "Gertrude goes Gonzo", "Ethel's Erotic Gangbang" and "Fisting Mildred".

tbyte

2011-11-28 01:36:52 AM

It's the rare parent, it seems, who wants a common name for a child.

Well then why the fark are common names so common?? Am I missing something, or does this make no sense?

remus

2011-11-28 01:37:45 AM

My Mom's friend named her daughter "Destiny". When my Mom told me, the first thing I blurted out was something along the lines of "That's a great name for dancing on the pole". Mom was unamused....

Foxxinnia

2011-11-28 01:39:05 AM

I'm glad I have a rather generic name. I don't have to worry about employers potentially Googling me up. Even with my middle name included. It's like the John Smith of Sweden. Wait, I'm the second result? Oh hell.

slashmonkey

2011-11-28 01:40:18 AM

So Carrera Jade is out then.

Good to know.

Bruno-X

2011-11-28 01:40:51 AM

Well, the obvious next step is dancer's alias' are going to be- Sally, Mary, Helen and Bonnie.

Kevin72

2011-11-28 01:43:29 AM

Somacandra: Well I guess that strikes "Santorum" off my list of baby-names.

Done in one. Exactly what I thought.

Crudbucket

2011-11-28 01:45:18 AM

Stupidest names I personally know of are a twin boy and girl, Kingdom and Lourdes. It's like the parents went out of their way to give the kids issues.

Lone Stranger

2011-11-28 01:46:55 AM

I'm naming my baby Jenkem!

VarmintCong

2011-11-28 01:47:03 AM

tbyte: It's the rare parent, it seems, who wants a common name for a child.

Well then why the fark are common names so common?? Am I missing something, or does this make no sense?

No one drives in Manhattan. There's too much traffic and all the parking spaces are taken.

Gilligann

2011-11-28 01:47:19 AM

My wife and I named our son Daniel. Didn't want anything lame or strange spellings, just a normal name.

So far he's pretty normal, although probably the cutest baby in the world.

UltimaCS

2011-11-28 01:48:21 AM

First Goog result: Gary Garcia, Wrote and Performed 80s Pop Hit 'Pac-Man Fever,' Dies at 63

Well, I guess my parents wanted me to be mistaken for a one-hit wonder.

Enemabag Jones

2011-11-28 01:48:42 AM

miss diminutive,If parents want to avoid naming their girls after pornstars I think we're going to see a lot more Mildreds, Ethels and Gertrudes in the near future.

I could the right stripper taking one of these name and ironically owning it.

/I am thinking black hair, gothish look.

buckler

2011-11-28 01:49:25 AM

Well, I guess naming my future daughter "Tessie Torpedoes" is right out, then.

Oznog

2011-11-28 01:51:07 AM

Yeah, well, you can be as careful as you want, you can be a freakin' world-saving superhero, but some jackass with even a SIMILAR name shoots the president, and suddenly you have to change your name and they even dub it (badly) over existing footage.

A Terrible Human

2011-11-28 01:52:05 AM

Apparently from 88-89 the women in the town I was born in were obsessed with the name Melinda. Imagine hearing "Melinda Commonlastname please come to the office" and having 3 confused teenagers show up.

/One year they made me add an e to my middle name. >:[

Oznog

2011-11-28 01:52:07 AM

Why did I have to have the middle name "Wayne", the middle name of, like, every serial killer, ever??

redflag

2011-11-28 01:56:04 AM

The Article Said: But too little research can backfire, too. Deborah Goldstein, 43, and her partner, Gabriella Di Maggio, thought they had chosen unique names for their boys: Levi and Asher. To be sure, they checked the Social Security Administration's list of most popular baby names. Neither was in the top 100.

"I did not want them to have names where there were 15 in their class like I was," Ms. Goldstein said. "There were a lot of Debbies back then"

But shortly after the couple moved to South Orange, N.J., in 2006, they had a rude awakening. While waiting at an ice cream parlor, they heard a woman shout "Asher!" at a different boy.

"It was two other Jewish lesbian moms with a child of the same name," Ms. Goldstein said. Google had let her down. "It didn't tell us it's a unique name unless you move to a neighborhood outside New York City where other trendy Jews are moving, too."

Google, why didn't you explain how statistics work!?

/white people problem

MadAzza

2011-11-28 01:56:04 AM

I hate the parents in the article, and I don't even know them. My disdain for them is unreasonable, perhaps, yet there it is, pure and hot and acrid, a lavaflow of contempt.

You want to be unique, Debbie from the article? Name your kid Debbie. I guarantee, no other kid in her class will be named Debbie. But no, you chose the "unique" name Kaleya, then found out your daughter is not *gasp* the only one. She will have to be unique based on her character, her personality, the way she lives and treats others.

THE HORROR.

Die, you miserable twat.

Really I'm Black

2011-11-28 01:56:57 AM

jenna jameson who?

Kevin72

2011-11-28 01:56:57 AM

As a substitute teacher, some kids with "issues" I've come across were kids named Jihad, Prince, and Treasure. Then there was an annoying kid named Zeus. But what could I do? After all, he was Zeus.

/When I call attendance, and a kid is named Jesús, I always pronounce it "Hey, Zeus!". Because if you are going to name your kid after the prime Christian deity, you may as well get the boss of the Greek gods as well.

batlock666

2011-11-28 01:59:24 AM

Gilligann: My wife and I named our son Daniel. Didn't want anything lame or strange spellings, just a normal name.

So far he's pretty normal, although probably the cutest baby in the world.

But he prefers Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All.

Siskabush

2011-11-28 02:00:34 AM

My son's name is Ari.

Born a few hours ago. Wife is asleep. She had a long day.

Didn't google it. Just thought you would like to know.

wrenchboy

2011-11-28 02:00:57 AM

Lone Stranger: I'm naming my baby Jenkem!

You sound black

MadAzza

2011-11-28 02:02:14 AM

MadAzza: I hate the parents in the article, and I don't even know them. My disdain for them is unreasonable, perhaps, yet there it is, pure and hot and acrid, a lavaflow of contempt.

You want to be unique, Debbie from the article? Name your kid Debbie. I guarantee, no other kid in her class will be named Debbie. But no, you chose the "unique" name Kaleya, then found out your daughter is not *gasp* the only one. She will have to be unique based on her character, her personality, the way she lives and treats others.

THE HORROR.

Die, you miserable twat.

OK, I got the parents mixed up, but my point stands. And I hope your kid goes to school with 17 Ashers, coont. I mean, "trendy Jew." I can't even believe she described herself that way. "I'm a trendy Jew." What the fark does that even mean?

I need to calm down.

Baryogenesis

2011-11-28 02:02:17 AM

I don't have anything to add so I'll just link Louis CK

Link (new window)

CayceP

2011-11-28 02:03:11 AM

At the library a few months ago, a teenager brought in her resume for editing. She was going to bring copies to a job fair. Very nice young woman, well-spoken, would be a hard worker.

Her name's Cynnamon. It's a shame so many employers won't look past her name. Hopefully she'll change it when she turns 18. I know I would.

There's another parent who routinely abandons her daughter in the branch. That kid's name is Diamond.

Eesh.

MadAzza

2011-11-28 02:03:17 AM

Siskabush: My son's name is Ari.

Born a few hours ago. Wife is asleep. She had a long day.

Didn't google it. Just thought you would like to know.

Hey, congratulations! Ari sounds like a nice name. Best wishes to you all.

CayceP

2011-11-28 02:03:53 AM

Siskabush: My son's name is Ari.

Born a few hours ago. Wife is asleep. She had a long day.

Didn't google it. Just thought you would like to know.

!

Congrats!

mandyer

2011-11-28 02:05:41 AM

If I ever have a son I swear to god I'm naming his white ass Otis.

Daughter? Won't matter. When you're chained to the basement wall you don't need a name.

ThighsofGlory

2011-11-28 02:06:33 AM

A Terrible Human: Apparently from 88-89 the women in the town I was born in were obsessed with the name Melinda. Imagine hearing "Melinda Commonlastname please come to the office" and having 3 confused teenagers show up.

/One year they made me add an e to my middle name. >:[

I am one of the pioneering first wave Amandas from 1968, back when everyone else was naming their girl children Jennifer or Renee. I'm told I'm named after Mr. Spock's mom. I was usually the only Amanda in my grade until high school. In the late '80s Amanda became a popular name, so for a while there it was myself and a bunch of little girls answering to it. Now it's pop culture shorthand for 'biatchy girl,' the way Heather used to be.

7th Son of a 7th Son

2011-11-28 02:06:49 AM

NorCalLos

2011-11-28 02:07:15 AM

My fiancé wanted to name our daughter (now four months old) Chloe. I really had to dig my heals in on that one.

buckler

2011-11-28 02:07:53 AM

Siskabush: My son's name is Ari.

Born a few hours ago. Wife is asleep. She had a long day.

Didn't google it. Just thought you would like to know.

Well, farkin' A! Congratulations, Dad. You can mail me my cigar.

SteveB

2011-11-28 02:08:55 AM

My wife and I just had a baby girl. Took us a while to go through names... Finally decided on Marlee Coraline. Hoping that by the time she grows up no one will remember the movie Marlee and Me. Or Coraline. Neither of which were factors. Picking names is harder than I thought.

A Terrible Human

2011-11-28 02:09:41 AM

ThighsofGlory: I am one of the pioneering first wave Amandas from 1968, back when everyone else was naming their girl children Jennifer or Renee. I'm told I'm named after Mr. Spock's mom. I was usually the only Amanda in my grade until high school. In the late '80s Amanda became a popular name, so for a while there it was myself and a bunch of little girls answering to it. Now it's pop culture shorthand for 'biatchy girl,' the way Heather used to be.

Really? Growing up I had a best friend named Amanda and one friend who had the same name as me except her middle name was sue. She was also born one day after me the same month and year.

/My Amanda wasn't biatchy,she was awesome.

NorCalLos

2011-11-28 02:10:51 AM

ThighsofGlory: A Terrible Human: Apparently from 88-89 the women in the town I was born in were obsessed with the name Melinda. Imagine hearing "Melinda Commonlastname please come to the office" and having 3 confused teenagers show up.

/One year they made me add an e to my middle name. >:[

I am one of the pioneering first wave Amandas from 1968, back when everyone else was naming their girl children Jennifer or Renee. I'm told I'm named after Mr. Spock's mom. I was usually the only Amanda in my grade until high school. In the late '80s Amanda became a popular name, so for a while there it was myself and a bunch of little girls answering to it. Now it's pop culture shorthand for 'biatchy girl,' the way Heather used to be.

Little known fact about your name: An anagram of it is "Damn AA." Also, "a man ad," as well as "an adam."

Oznog

2011-11-28 02:11:25 AM

I know if MY last name were Jass, Dover, or McCracken, and it's a boy, the first name would be set in stone. Non-negotiable.

I don't care if he never gets taken seriously when trying to make a dinner reservation or ordering a pizza his entire life, and gets arrested at every traffic stop for being a smart-ass. This ONE thing HAS to happen.

SundaesChild

2011-11-28 02:11:44 AM

remus: My Mom's friend named her daughter "Destiny". When my Mom told me, the first thing I blurted out was something along the lines of "That's a great name for dancing on the pole". Mom was unamused....

I know a Destiny but to be fair to the child, her mother was 16 at the time of the birth.

/I have a Maia
//yay mythology classes

BuckTurgidson

2011-11-28 02:13:07 AM

FirstNationalBastard: miss diminutive: If parents want to avoid naming their girls after pornstars I think we're going to see a lot more Mildreds, Ethels and Gertrudes in the near future.

...until Porn finally catches up, and we see "Gertrude goes Gonzo", "Ethel's Erotic Gangbang" and "Fisting Mildred".

That underrated film stands among Mildred's finest work, in my humble opinion.

Look, parentards, it's perfectly simple - if you use any of the following themes for your child's name you condemn it to the sex trade:

Gems/Minerals/jewelry: Jade, Crystal, Amber, Diamond, Tiffany, Quartz
Automobiles: Sable, Lexus, Cayenne, Mercedes, Prism
Critters: Sable, Mynx, Fox, Catt, Weezil
Places: Savannah, Dakota, Cheyenne, Madison, Austin, Duluth
Herbs/Spices/Vegetables: Jasmine, Pepper, Cayenne, Sage, Cinnamon, Allspice

rebelyell2006

2011-11-28 02:13:39 AM

tbyte: It's the rare parent, it seems, who wants a common name for a child.

Well then why the fark are common names so common?? Am I missing something, or does this make no sense?

I think they mean common as in the typical Anglo-Saxon European names that are common amongst the 20+ crowd. And TFA is claiming that those 20+ people are trying to find names that are not common amongst their generations.

buckler

2011-11-28 02:13:56 AM

A Terrible Human: ThighsofGlory: I am one of the pioneering first wave Amandas from 1968, back when everyone else was naming their girl children Jennifer or Renee. I'm told I'm named after Mr. Spock's mom. I was usually the only Amanda in my grade until high school. In the late '80s Amanda became a popular name, so for a while there it was myself and a bunch of little girls answering to it. Now it's pop culture shorthand for 'biatchy girl,' the way Heather used to be.

Really? Growing up I had a best friend named Amanda and one friend who had the same name as me except her middle name was sue. She was also born one day after me the same month and year.

/My Amanda wasn't biatchy,she was awesome.

I did go to school with a girl who was actually named "Anita Cherry"

Hyperbolic Hyperbole

2011-11-28 02:13:57 AM

I read that article and now I hate everything.

everything.

yes, you too.

gadian

2011-11-28 02:14:04 AM

My 4 month old is Jack. Short. Sweet. Common. Easy to fark with - jack ass, jack off, hijack, etc. But with his ultra rare last name, he's the only one in the world. In the newspaper births announcement, boys born the same week were Aiden, Sage, Doc Andreas, Payton. and Jeffrey - I win. Since I've fished out the announcement - the girl's names were Journey, Angelynn, Isabella, Taylor, & Isabella (yes, two).
So, nothing too out there, but a lot of trying to sound rich lower class names.

Max Awesome

2011-11-28 02:14:10 AM

I'm gonna name my kid Spot.

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