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(Some Leftover Eater) Dumbass Man stabs self with turkey thermometer instead of waiting for belly button to pop out   (newportplaintalk.com) divider line 17
More: Dumbass, ambulance service  
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4656 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Nov 2011 at 2:59 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



17 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
some.old.lady. [TotalFark]
2011-11-27 01:16:19 AM
I'm fascinated that this article says: "Police allegedly saw a small hole" where the guy supposedly stabbed himself.

So, now the author is essentially saying "The police allege that they saw a hole where the guy allegedly stabbed himself with what he alleged was a turkey thermometer.

This author, an alleged journalist, has written an article which he (allegedly) believes is actually competent reporting.
 
skinink
2011-11-27 03:07:03 AM
The Cops, The EMTs, The Cook and his Thermometer.
 
Mr. Potatoass
2011-11-27 03:07:06 AM
Kudos to the man more loaded than me, Thanksgiving Eve.
 
User42
2011-11-27 03:09:20 AM
darwinfacepalm.jpg
 
Harry_Seldon
2011-11-27 03:10:21 AM
Demographics is like quantum physics. Statistically speaking, there is a chance of just about anything dumbass thing people can think of.
 
Captain James T. Smirk
2011-11-27 03:12:25 AM
...so was he done or not? This article is lacking in essential information. He should have just deep-fried himself to make sure.
 
fisker
2011-11-27 03:30:32 AM
i.imgur.com
 
trappedspirit
2011-11-27 04:12:42 AM
Where's the "alcohol may have been involved" line? I can only hope no one else in the county needed assistance at that moment from any public servants attending to this man's gaping cry-for-attention hole.
 
Ed Finnerty [TotalFark]
2011-11-27 05:22:16 AM
That's not stuffing!
 
Bathia_Mapes [TotalFark]
2011-11-27 05:28:54 AM
DING, FRIES ARE DONE!
 
hogans
2011-11-27 08:55:43 AM
www.freemontsoffice.com

"I hate when that happens."
 
vodka
2011-11-27 11:10:18 AM
What, everyone doesn't get these type of impulses?
 
ModernPrimitive01
2011-11-27 11:24:07 AM
Wow this is the tiny town where I grew up. Knowing the area, I wouldn't be surprised if meth or Oxycontin was involved.
 
MontanaDave
2011-11-27 01:11:48 PM
YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG! The line is, "stick a FORK in me..."
 
Baloo Uriza
2011-11-27 02:39:12 PM
Those plastic thermometer buttons always pop way too early if you actually know how to cook a turkey the right way. If they pop at all.
 
StoPPeRmobile
2011-11-27 06:11:18 PM
Baloo Uriza: Those plastic thermometer buttons always pop way too early if you actually know how to cook a turkey the right way. If they pop at all.

Helps the masses from killing themselves a bit.
 
Baloo Uriza
2011-11-27 06:23:28 PM
StoPPeRmobile: Baloo Uriza: Those plastic thermometer buttons always pop way too early if you actually know how to cook a turkey the right way. If they pop at all.

Helps the masses from killing themselves a bit.

If they work.
 
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