That's a lot of kleenex.

miss diminutive: That's a lot of kleenex.

FT - kleenex is what, $2 a box of hundreds of sheets. Lotion costs 3 to 4 times that.

/that's still a lot of lotion.

nekom: ksdanj: I'll personally conduct this study for $600k.

Competitive bidding FTW...

I'm in for $550,000

I'll do it for five-hundred forty-nine thousand nine-hundred ninty-nine dollars and one hundred cents.

They'll pay for the convenience.

That's a lot of Jergens.

JackalRabbit: miss diminutive: That's a lot of kleenex.

FT - kleenex is what, $2 a box of hundreds of sheets. Lotion costs 3 to 4 times that.

/that's still a lot of lotion.

People actually use lotion?

JackalRabbit: miss diminutive: That's a lot of kleenex.

FT - kleenex is what, $2 a box of hundreds of sheets. Lotion costs 3 to 4 times that.

/that's still a lot of lotion.



/knows all about the lotion.

Lanolin.....I said lanolin

Interactive website?

Go on...

I'll do it for 500K. I can undercut the competition because my operation doesn't require lotion.

I feel for the victims

miss diminutive: That's a lot of kleenex.

You win.

/this thread

Damn! I knew I should have accepted that grad school fellowship at Auckland University!

I can't imagine slathering my hoo ha in regular body lotion. I think water-based lubricant is the way to go. And they come in scents (and flavors) too.

Makes people fap more. *extends hand* Money please!

Came for freakish Quagmire...and well...came.

But porn is free and readily available on the Internet. Why do they need a grant?

milkyshirt: I can't imagine slathering my hoo ha in regular body lotion.

I can.

The real money is in cleaning up.
Anyone can kill a bunch of kittens. Getting rid of the bodies and making it look like an accident...that's gonna cost ya.

Last Man on Earth: People actually use lotion?

Circumcised guys (aka genital mutants) do
// hand jobs on guys who have not been mutilated is easier and more natural

Stay away from my search history.

Mrs. Smurf and I would do it for $150K, a pair of high end gaming computers with 20TB of storage and the best internet connection that exists.

milkyshirt: I can't imagine slathering my hoo ha in regular body lotion. I think water-based lubricant is the way to go. And they come in scents (and flavors) too.

I don't want to know what your need for flavored mastubatory lubricant is. That's a level of personal gratification few people reach in life. And even fewer care to know about.

//(psycho.....)

Slartibartfaster: Last Man on Earth: People actually use lotion?

Circumcised guys (aka genital mutants) do
// hand jobs on guys who have not been mutilated is easier and more natural

Circumcised here -- and no need for lotion as long as your aren't some kind of lumberjack with calloused/rough hands. You can dry hand it no problem - and there is much easier cleanup vs using some lube just for cranking one out.

I'd much rather be circumcised than not - mine was done @ birth and it worked out great, I never had to grow up with cheese dick, or take special care cleaning out my junk that looked like an elephant trunk.

How often do you see uncut guys in porn? There's your answer. Every woman I've ever known has expressed distaste (no pun intended) in guys who are "all natural"

You keep your natural penis -- and I'll keep mine (with the bonus of being cleaner, less sensitive, and more accepted by females)

Circumcised is the only way to go. It is the only acceptable form of straight male male male on female porn. Any other junk is strange alien looking funky junk. And in my experience I don't have to beg to get a females mouth on my d. I couldn't imagine going thru life without it.

oh and while we are on the topic of undercutting everyone's prices -- if someone wanted to pay me 200 dollars a day to sit around and beat off I'm all for it.

That would be what I make a day from regular job + 40 dollars for my "trouble". If you catch me during the off day I'd be willing to do it for probably 10 bucks or a papa johns pizza, as long as I got to keep all the porn at the end. a few 3TB hdd's should be enough storage space.

Outside of getting paid to beat off, it would be fun just using the ENTIRE bandwidth of a university for porn. Multiple lines of fiber optics all carrying boobies!

I didn't rtfa but I think online porn is pretty evil, and that's just going by how many hours I have wasted watching it.

If I had all those hours back I could have been productive! Ehhhhh, I probably would have just drank during that same time period anyways.

Serious Content Time:

One of the effects they would find in real life is that a 29 year old single (and happy) male such as myself would have much more free time pursuing useful things rather than chasing after a piece of ass all the time.

Anyone with experience will tell you that cranking one out takes 5 to 15 minutes depending on how much you want to enjoy it. After you are done you are more relaxed, clear headed, and able to concentrate. On top of all that you probably just saved yourself 50 to 100 dollars an a few hours of your life trying to take some frigid biatch to the movies in hopes of getting a "legit" HJ at the end of the night.

I will honestly say there are times when spanking the money has saved me loads of trouble in the woman world - especially in terms of getting a girl pregnant or getting an STD. Everyone has needs and I think it's a waste of time money and effort if every moment of your free time is spent trying to get a HJ/BJ/sex. There are times during my week or month or year when it's just not worth the BS you have to go through to get a piece of ass.

Don't get me wrong -- when I have the time and energy I have no problem picking up a girl and having a few good rounds of sex, but for those "in between" times, left hand is the next best thing.

I think Ive solved this mystery, so where can I get some of this grant money?

steamingpile: I didn't rtfa but I think online porn is pretty evil, and that's just going by how many hours I have wasted watching it.

If I had all those hours back I could have been productive! Ehhhhh, I probably would have just drank during that same time period anyways.

online porn probably saved me more than a few times from hooking up with incredibly skanky or fat girls who more than likely had intentions of getting knocked up so they wouldn't have to work anymore. For this -- I love internet porn. :)

All I need is enough to cover a good internet connection (I figure 20mbps minimum with a 400gb minimum monthly download allowance), enough money to buy say 4 2tb HDD's, enough money to pay for 3 or 4 subscription fees if I want some niche stuff that isn't on the tube sites or easily torrented (you'd be suprised how much isn't), plus a small amount for kleenex. And of course a little bit of extra money for my trouble. That can run to more than $2000 for the materials plus maybe another $1000 per month for my fee. Hell, thats way more reasonable than what these guys are charging!

/Call me!

Eh, Kinsey Institute has studied this for years.

ElevenBravo: milkyshirt: I can't imagine slathering my hoo ha in regular body lotion. I think water-based lubricant is the way to go. And they come in scents (and flavors) too.

I don't want to know what your need for flavored mastubatory lubricant is. That's a level of personal gratification few people reach in life. And even fewer care to know about.

//(psycho.....)

Maybe he's flexible enough to reach his own mouth?

/lucky bastard

Could we get an $800,000 grant to study the effects of police, elected officials and school administrators being asshats?

/Or does that study write itself on FARK?

watching porn without the intention or act of touching yourself is pretty damn pointless.

That's like saying you want to watch it for it's artistic value, I'd get pretty bored too if I had to sit there watching porn and wasn't allowed to touch myself.

Do you know how much it costs to hire a proficient jizzmopper these days? You'll need all of that $790,000.00.

Since random assignment to conditions isn't possible (naieve to assume those assigned to control condition will actually follow through on eschewing porn), I don't see how this relationship can be reliably assessed. If you just look at the differences between those who watch porn vs those that do not, who is to say it isn't because of inital differences in personality, biochemistry, etc, that created the groups. Perhaps those who have no interest in porn, have no interest in sex altogether and never have.