FARK.com: (6763084) "Twilight: Breaking Dawn" causes seizures in men

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		"Twilight: Breaking Dawn" causes seizures in men (washingtonpost.com)		77
		More: Obvious, Utah Man

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LarryDan43

2011-11-25 05:23:47 PM

Line?

imperiusv

2011-11-25 05:25:03 PM

Some men are easily surprised. I'd already seen Ashley Greene naked, so her casual nudity didn't faze me at all.

kliq

2011-11-25 05:26:25 PM

Anyone with a functioning brain?

Ed Finnerty

2011-11-25 05:27:26 PM

wat

Richard Roma

2011-11-25 05:28:49 PM

"Twilight: Breaking Dawn" causes ~~seizures in~~ men to fake seizures in order to avoid having to see the whole movie.

jungus

2011-11-25 05:29:42 PM

Great idea! .. I mean, the poor fellow!

fusillade762

2011-11-25 05:31:26 PM

JackieRabbit

2011-11-25 05:32:54 PM

Richard Roma: "Twilight: Breaking Dawn" causes seizures in men to fake seizures in order to avoid having to see the whole movie.

Oh, so Twilight is a chick thing. I was wondering what the hoopla was all about. Now I know. Poor young guys. The things you have to do for some honeypot these days. It was easier way back then. Roll a joint pop the cork on a bottle of Blue Nun, put on Pink Floyd and rock-and-roll. Oh and don't forget the tie on the door knob.

Teknowaffle

2011-11-25 05:34:01 PM

You know, I keep seeing this defense of men who go with their wives/girlfriends to see this movie that is along the lines of "well they are getting their dick sucked tonight".

If you are in a relationship, and tell her "suck my dick" and she says: "not unless we go see X shiatty movie" you should just dump her.

A woman who loves you will suck your dick when you want it (as long as it isn't inconvenient, or dangerous, like while driving).

skinink

2011-11-25 05:35:27 PM

"The Utah man, who did not want to be named over fears he would lose his job (not because he didn't want his buddies to find out he was seeing "Twilight"), claims another person suffered similar symptoms at the same theater. "

I wonder if a woman's movie pick is so bad to her spouse or boyfriend the next movie pick he has is for something like Harold and Kumar Christmas 3D, just out of spite.

JackieRabbit

2011-11-25 05:37:28 PM

Teknowaffle: You know, I keep seeing this defense of men who go with their wives/girlfriends to see this movie that is along the lines of "well they are getting their dick sucked tonight".

If you are in a relationship, and tell her "suck my dick" and she says: "not unless we go see X shiatty movie" you should just dump her.

A woman who loves you will suck your dick when you want it (as long as it isn't inconvenient, or dangerous, like while driving).

Know how we know that you don't have much experience with women? Enjoy those girlfriend blow jobs while you're getting them.

SithLord

2011-11-25 05:39:12 PM

skinink: "The Utah man, who did not want to be named over fears he would lose his job (not because he didn't want his buddies to find out he was seeing "Twilight"), claims another person suffered similar symptoms at the same theater. "
I wonder if a woman's movie pick is so bad to her spouse or boyfriend the next movie pick he has is for something like Harold and Kumar Christmas 3D, just out of spite.

Utah man? In other words, he was going to support the income of a fellow Temple Sister. They are generous, those Mormons and all.

Teknowaffle

2011-11-25 05:40:05 PM

JackieRabbit: Teknowaffle: You know, I keep seeing this defense of men who go with their wives/girlfriends to see this movie that is along the lines of "well they are getting their dick sucked tonight".

If you are in a relationship, and tell her "suck my dick" and she says: "not unless we go see X shiatty movie" you should just dump her.

A woman who loves you will suck your dick when you want it (as long as it isn't inconvenient, or dangerous, like while driving).

Know how we know that you don't have much experience with women? Enjoy those girlfriend blow jobs while you're getting them.

Don't marry a woman until you say "hey, I want a blowjob" and she gives it to you. I don't understand this whole mentality of men have to do nice things to get sex. If a guy is involved with a woman, and she walks up to him and says "go down on me now" he will.

Sex isn't a powerplay, despite how much "According to Jim" and "Everyone likes Raymond" you may have seen.

3dougnight

2011-11-25 05:40:41 PM

Kristin Stewart caused some seizures in my shorts, I can attest to that.

ddam

2011-11-25 05:41:27 PM

Teknowaffle: You know, I keep seeing this defense of men who go with their wives/girlfriends to see this movie that is along the lines of "well they are getting their dick sucked tonight".

If you are in a relationship, and tell her "suck my dick" and she says: "not unless we go see X shiatty movie" you should just dump her.

A woman who loves you will suck your dick when you want it (as long as it isn't inconvenient, or dangerous, like while driving).

I took my step-daughter to it. She's 11 and really wanted to see it. She brought home a progress report with all As except one B and I got her to clean her room before going to the movie.

Ennuipoet

2011-11-25 05:45:42 PM

ddam: Teknowaffle: You know, I keep seeing this defense of men who go with their wives/girlfriends to see this movie that is along the lines of "well they are getting their dick sucked tonight".

If you are in a relationship, and tell her "suck my dick" and she says: "not unless we go see X shiatty movie" you should just dump her.

A woman who loves you will suck your dick when you want it (as long as it isn't inconvenient, or dangerous, like while driving).

I took my step-daughter to it. She's 11 and really wanted to see it. She brought home a progress report with all As except one B and I got her to clean her room before going to the movie.

Probably not the best line of quotes to bring an 11 year old girl into...just sayin'

John_David_Stutts

2011-11-25 05:47:17 PM

ddam: Teknowaffle: You know, I keep seeing this defense of men who go with their wives/girlfriends to see this movie that is along the lines of "well they are getting their dick sucked tonight".

If you are in a relationship, and tell her "suck my dick" and she says: "not unless we go see X shiatty movie" you should just dump her.

A woman who loves you will suck your dick when you want it (as long as it isn't inconvenient, or dangerous, like while driving).

I took my step-daughter to it. She's 11 and really wanted to see it. She brought home a progress report with all As except one B and I got her to clean her room before going to the movie.

Whew...I thought that story was headed in a different direction. Call off Chris Hansen, we're cool here.

Teknowaffle

2011-11-25 05:47:57 PM

ddam: Teknowaffle: You know, I keep seeing this defense of men who go with their wives/girlfriends to see this movie that is along the lines of "well they are getting their dick sucked tonight".

If you are in a relationship, and tell her "suck my dick" and she says: "not unless we go see X shiatty movie" you should just dump her.

A woman who loves you will suck your dick when you want it (as long as it isn't inconvenient, or dangerous, like while driving).

I took my step-daughter to it. She's 11 and really wanted to see it. She brought home a progress report with all As except one B and I got her to clean her room before going to the movie.

Your stepdaughter is not your wife/girlfriend. (I hope).

Though you are admirable. Just make sure she knows that babies aren't born with a pedo chewing them out of the ute and all that.

Ikahoshi

2011-11-25 05:50:32 PM

It's not a seizure, it's technically called a conniption. It happens when you "can't f*cking believe that you're sitting in a theatre watching this shiat" as a friend of mine described it.

Not surprising given that he was subjected to the worst vampire/werewolf movie known to humanity.

farkingismybusiness

2011-11-25 05:51:31 PM

hicksfa2

2011-11-25 05:52:02 PM

Ennuipoet: ddam: Teknowaffle: You know, I keep seeing this defense of men who go with their wives/girlfriends to see this movie that is along the lines of "well they are getting their dick sucked tonight".

If you are in a relationship, and tell her "suck my dick" and she says: "not unless we go see X shiatty movie" you should just dump her.

A woman who loves you will suck your dick when you want it (as long as it isn't inconvenient, or dangerous, like while driving).

I took my step-daughter to it. She's 11 and really wanted to see it. She brought home a progress report with all As except one B and I got her to clean her room before going to the movie.

Probably not the best line of quotes to bring an 11 year old girl into...just sayin'

fc00.deviantart.net

/sees nothing wrong with that line of quotes

crack-fiend

2011-11-25 05:53:08 PM

My wife and kids came home opening night and said a man had a seizure at the movie at the Frank Theaters in Gettysburg. When I read the headline to her and asked her what scene it was, she said it was the birth scene before I even read her the rest of this article.

Nick Nostril

2011-11-25 05:53:40 PM

JackieRabbit: Richard Roma: "Twilight: Breaking Dawn" causes seizures in men to fake seizures in order to avoid having to see the whole movie.

Oh, so Twilight is a chick thing. I was wondering what the hoopla was all about. Now I know. Poor young guys. The things you have to do for some honeypot these days. It was easier way back then. Roll a joint pop the cork on a bottle of Blue Nun, put on Pink Floyd and rock-and-roll. Oh and don't forget the tie on the door knob.

I always knew my wife had a Fark account. Now I know your handle!

SharkTrager

2011-11-25 05:53:43 PM

ddam: Teknowaffle: You know, I keep seeing this defense of men who go with their wives/girlfriends to see this movie that is along the lines of "well they are getting their dick sucked tonight".

If you are in a relationship, and tell her "suck my dick" and she says: "not unless we go see X shiatty movie" you should just dump her.

A woman who loves you will suck your dick when you want it (as long as it isn't inconvenient, or dangerous, like while driving).

I took my step-daughter to it. She's 11 and really wanted to see it. She brought home a progress report with all As except one B and I got her to clean her room before going to the movie.

So how will you explain to her Teknowaffle's theory on how women should express their love?

Jame5G

2011-11-25 05:53:51 PM

Yes Twilight sucks, but isn't this what nerds have asked for? For decades we've asked women to show interest in fantasy, scifi, horror, things out of the ordinary. Even if Twilight is as mainstream as it gets, resembles nothing in the way of common ground and is flawed in a hundred ways, aren't they finally reaching out to us?

janzee

2011-11-25 05:55:19 PM

Geaux Tigers!

/post palate cleanser

precia

2011-11-25 05:55:24 PM

Teknowaffle: Just make sure she knows that babies aren't born with a pedo chewing them out of the ute and all that.

www.skyroadster.com

LouDobbsAwaaaay

2011-11-25 05:55:42 PM

3dougnight: Kristin Stewart caused some seizures in my shorts, I can attest to that.

She also suffered some serious seizures while filming, though you'd never be able to separate them from her acting style.

precia

2011-11-25 05:58:59 PM

Jame5G: Yes Twilight sucks, but isn't this what nerds have asked for? For decades we've asked women to show interest in fantasy, scifi, horror, things out of the ordinary. Even if Twilight is as mainstream as it gets, resembles nothing in the way of common ground and is flawed in a hundred ways, aren't they finally reaching out to us?

No. And they're not interested in you unless you are actually the specific fictional character they've given their dumb little hearts to.

But lots of women are into sci-fi, horror, fantasy... and they're all the ones who aren't into Twilight.

YodaBlues

2011-11-25 06:09:17 PM

ddam: I took my step-daughter to it. She's 11 and really wanted to see it. She brought home a progress report with all As except one B and I got her to clean her room before going to the movie.

www.iconsoffright.com

Would like to know the end of the story.

The Ghost of Tom Ace

2011-11-25 06:10:08 PM

precia: Jame5G: Yes Twilight sucks, but isn't this what nerds have asked for? For decades we've asked women to show interest in fantasy, scifi, horror, things out of the ordinary. Even if Twilight is as mainstream as it gets, resembles nothing in the way of common ground and is flawed in a hundred ways, aren't they finally reaching out to us?

No. And they're not interested in you unless you are actually the specific fictional character they've given their dumb little hearts to.

But lots of women are into sci-fi, horror, fantasy... and they're all the ones who aren't into Twilight.

Yeah, but they all tend to look like this...

lh4.googleusercontent.com

ddam

2011-11-25 06:12:54 PM

The Ghost of Tom Ace: precia: Jame5G: Yes Twilight sucks, but isn't this what nerds have asked for? For decades we've asked women to show interest in fantasy, scifi, horror, things out of the ordinary. Even if Twilight is as mainstream as it gets, resembles nothing in the way of common ground and is flawed in a hundred ways, aren't they finally reaching out to us?

No. And they're not interested in you unless you are actually the specific fictional character they've given their dumb little hearts to.

But lots of women are into sci-fi, horror, fantasy... and they're all the ones who aren't into Twilight.

Yeah, but they all tend to look like this...

[lh4.googleusercontent.com image 250x460]

And if they don't look like that and happen to be hot they'll be accused of being fake (Olivia Munn). You can't please nerds no matter what.

The Ghost of Tom Ace

2011-11-25 06:13:46 PM

ddam: Teknowaffle: You know, I keep seeing this defense of men who go with their wives/girlfriends to see this movie that is along the lines of "well they are getting their dick sucked tonight".

If you are in a relationship, and tell her "suck my dick" and she says: "not unless we go see X shiatty movie" you should just dump her.

A woman who loves you will suck your dick when you want it (as long as it isn't inconvenient, or dangerous, like while driving).

I took my step-daughter to it. She's 11 and really wanted to see it. She brought home a progress report with all As except one B and I got her to clean her room before going to the movie.

Eh...dude? I don't think you are aware of which website you are on. These aren't exactly the 7th Heaven forums and you deserve every response you illicit by attaching your statement to the above quotes.

Royale With Cheese

2011-11-25 06:13:50 PM

If the scene induced a tonic-clonic seizure, the theatre seats may well have been defecated upon.

/the more you know

jabelar

2011-11-25 06:14:18 PM

It sounds like it is probably a combination of the gore/birth and the flashing lights. Guys often faint watching births, it is pretty common and is something that delivery nurses have to be alert for (i.e. the guy falling over and hurting himself).

I can totally believe that combining a birth gore with epileptic-inducing strobes could cause blackouts, faints and seizures.

ddam

2011-11-25 06:18:47 PM

The Ghost of Tom Ace: ddam: Teknowaffle: You know, I keep seeing this defense of men who go with their wives/girlfriends to see this movie that is along the lines of "well they are getting their dick sucked tonight".

If you are in a relationship, and tell her "suck my dick" and she says: "not unless we go see X shiatty movie" you should just dump her.

A woman who loves you will suck your dick when you want it (as long as it isn't inconvenient, or dangerous, like while driving).

I took my step-daughter to it. She's 11 and really wanted to see it. She brought home a progress report with all As except one B and I got her to clean her room before going to the movie.

Eh...dude? I don't think you are aware of which website you are on. These aren't exactly the 7th Heaven forums and you deserve every response you illicit by attaching your statement to the above quotes.

Maybe I was going for the "that came out of nowhere" response that I seem to be getting... Or maybe I quoted the wrong post. Either way, a few responses on Fark aren't going to hurt my feelings if that's what you're getting at.

Colin O'Scopy

2011-11-25 06:26:14 PM

Teknowaffle: You know, I keep seeing this defense of men who go with their wives/girlfriends to see this movie that is along the lines of "well they are getting their dick sucked tonight".

If you are in a relationship, and tell her "suck my dick" and she says: "not unless we go see X shiatty movie" you should just dump her.

A woman who loves you will suck your dick when you want it (as long as it isn't inconvenient, or dangerous, like while driving).

This man speaks the truth. I can back him up.

(find me a stack 'o bibles, if that'll help convince ya)

Tainted1

2011-11-25 06:26:52 PM

As far as I'm concerned there's only three critters in the known universe that naturally sparkle. That's My Little Ponies, Unicorns, and Fairies, and I'm sticking with that.

precia

2011-11-25 06:26:57 PM

The Ghost of Tom Ace: eah, but they all tend to look like this...

God, ugh, is that supposed to be from one of the musicals? Because those costumes are hideous.

If you think fantasy isn't mainstream these days you're not paying attention. Legions of Dr. Who fangirls, dozens of (normal) women reading George R. R. Martin on the subway...

thebigfarker

2011-11-25 06:27:57 PM

I didn't need an excuse to not see this, but I'm still vvverrrry hhappyyyy to have one.
THANK YOU SUBBY!

vodka

2011-11-25 06:31:01 PM

Does this movie have a higher than average seizure rate? Because almost all movies have a handful of seizures (both caused by the movie and not).

Otherwise I don't see what the news is other than yet more advertising of the film.

fusillade762

2011-11-25 06:35:41 PM

Teknowaffle: You know, I keep seeing this defense of men who go with their wives/girlfriends to see this movie that is along the lines of "well they are getting their dick sucked tonight".

If you are in a relationship, and tell her "suck my dick" and she says: "not unless we go see X shiatty movie" you should just dump her.

A woman who loves you will suck your dick when you want it (as long as it isn't inconvenient, or dangerous, like while driving).

/oblig

The Ghost of Tom Ace

2011-11-25 06:46:40 PM

precia: The Ghost of Tom Ace: eah, but they all tend to look like this...

God, ugh, is that supposed to be from one of the musicals? Because those costumes are hideous.

If you think fantasy isn't mainstream these days you're not paying attention. Legions of Dr. Who fangirls, dozens of (normal) women reading George R. R. Martin on the subway...

Oh enlightened one, I beg thee...please show me whar I can find such creatures. For they do not roam the pastures of this pretentious state they call, 'Arizona'.

Ishkur

2011-11-25 07:11:11 PM

Jame5G: Yes Twilight sucks, but isn't this what nerds have asked for?

Girls have always been into geek things, they just get into it differently. I believe they're called shippers. Hence, the appeal of Twilight.

/easiest writing trope in the book.
//If you want a large female fanbase, simply incorporate a love triangle.

Jame5G

2011-11-25 07:13:21 PM

precia: No. And they're not interested in you unless you are actually the specific fictional character they've given their dumb little hearts to.

But lots of women are into sci-fi, horror, fantasy... and they're all the ones who aren't into Twilight.

A dismal, clumsy, delusional effort is better than no effort at all. At least they're trying. As empty-headed as it is the franchise still trumps most reality TV programming. And when I said women that includes the 11-15 year old girls who'll grow up and realize their beloved franchise hasn't aged well.

leonel

2011-11-25 07:14:54 PM

Naw that's normal when a normal brain is confronted with something too stupid to comprehend.

3dougnight

2011-11-25 07:16:23 PM

Teknowaffle: You know, I keep seeing this defense of men who go with their wives/girlfriends to see this movie that is along the lines of "well they are getting their dick sucked tonight".

If you are in a relationship, and tell her "suck my dick" and she says: "not unless we go see X shiatty movie" you should just dump her.

A woman who loves you will suck your dick when you want it (as long as it isn't inconvenient, or dangerous, like while driving).

Of course, I'm not a macho super stud like you, but if all I had to do was sit through a sh*tty movie to get a blowjob, I would have seen every sh*tty movie ever made by now.

SoxSweepAgain

2011-11-25 07:16:56 PM

I girl I was dating had me watch Twilight one night at her house (while providing me with beer and munchies and some good sex) and believe it or not I actually liked the movie.

Really thought it was kind of interesting.

Jame5G

2011-11-25 07:27:05 PM

Ishkur: Jame5G: Yes Twilight sucks, but isn't this what nerds have asked for?

Girls have always been into geek things, they just get into it differently. I believe they're called shippers. Hence, the appeal of Twilight.

/easiest writing trope in the book.
//If you want a large female fanbase, simply incorporate a love triangle.

Is it weird that in all these mediums, movies, books, songs, etc., relationships are prominently represented, but in majority of video games they're tossed in as an afterthought? If not left out entirely? Yes there are exceptions. Personally I'd like to see more games like Baldur's Gate 2 and Dragon Age. At the same time it can be challenging for developers to mesh game play with this dynamic, and I can't help but wonder why.

Gopher_Girl

2011-11-25 07:30:18 PM

SoxSweepAgain: I girl I was dating had me watch Twilight one night at her house (while providing me with beer and munchies and some good sex) and believe it or not I actually liked the movie.

Really thought it was kind of interesting.

So what you're telling me is that you're a lesbian?

/NTTAWWT
//Female.
///Actually liked the first book/movie.
////Second is way too emo.
//Haven't gotten to 3 & 4 yet.
// loves slashies!

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