Are we still so very scared?

One ring to rule them all?

How many firemen does it take to change a lightbulb?

11 - one to change the bulb and 10 to get the ring off the guy's penis!

/// I know, pretty bad.

I can't be the only man who winced while reading that article.

So help is not coming soonish?
:(

I hate it when that happens.

The removal of rings from fingers accounted for 160 incidents, while 74 people had "other" objects removed.

Maybe it's just my dirty mind at work here, but I'd love to know what those "other" objects were.

It took firefighters 20 minutes to remove the ring after staff at Queen Elizabeth hospital, Woolwich, were unable to prise it from the man's genitals.

Heheheh, staff.

I'd think liberal applications of icewater would be helpful in this situation, combined with waving pointy objects in the general area. Shrinkage and terror sweat should have the poor guy's todger retracted inside himself and the ring on the floor.

mildly amused

I'm thankful for so many things this year.

Among then, the everlasting joy that is the Ballsack Conundrum thread.

Reminds me of that one episode of Rescue Me when the guys were doing a competition on who has the longer fire hose. One guy used a ring as an aid it it took another
fireman with a cutter to take it off.

FrancoFile: I'm thankful for so many things this year.

Among then, the everlasting joy that is the Ballsack Conundrum thread.

people throw "LOL" around so flippantly these days. But that thread is without question, a time when I fell off my chair from laughing so hard. I might just revisit it for old time's sake.

rga184: FrancoFile: I'm thankful for so many things this year.

Among then, the everlasting joy that is the Ballsack Conundrum thread.

people throw "LOL" around so flippantly these days. But that thread is without question, a time when I fell off my chair from laughing so hard. I might just revisit it for old time's sake.

I know the story details, but missed the Fark thread. Anyone got a link?

Sticking a wedding band on your man's finger is one way to try to keep him from not cheating, but sticking it on his wang is entirely fool-proof.

If you get your penis stuck in a ring, be reassured that the fire department are happy to help. Testicles in a chair? Sorry, you're on your own Main Page

FTFY

/and the world is richer for it

BurnShrike: Sticking a wedding band on your man's finger is one way to try to keep him from not cheating, but sticking it on his wang is entirely fool-proof.

FTFM

It took firefighters 20 minutes to remove the ring after staff at Queen Elizabeth hospital, Woolwich, were unable to prise it from the man's genitals. Two fire engines were dispatched to perform the delicate procedure, which took place in May this year.
=================================================================

What?

A) Firefighters were able to get the ring off but not the hospital?!

B) What on Earth were the fire engines gonna do to get a ring off a penis? And that they needed TWO of them?

BurnShrike: rga184: FrancoFile: I'm thankful for so many things this year.

Among then, the everlasting joy that is the Ballsack Conundrum thread.

people throw "LOL" around so flippantly these days. But that thread is without question, a time when I fell off my chair from laughing so hard. I might just revisit it for old time's sake.

I know the story details, but missed the Fark thread. Anyone got a link?

Link (new window)

jake3988: B) What on Earth were the fire engines gonna do to get a ring off a penis? And that they needed TWO of them?

Imagine for a moment you're a firefighter. Your station gets a call to remove a ring from a man's penis, and your buddies and coworkers gear up and drive off in their truck, while you're left reading the paper at the station.

Now, tell me you wouldn't be tempted to get in the other truck and head on over just out of curiosity.

Oh I'm tearing up giggling about that thread.

/If I had testicles I'd probably tear up for other reasons dealing with that event
//I'm so very scared

This is why you never, ever, use anything metal for a cock ring.

Ring traps blood.
Penis gets bigger.
Penis more trapped.
Ring gets tighter.
Ring traps MORE blood.
Go to 10.

Awesome callback. Man, that thread was all levels of epic.

Well, there's 2 ways to do it that I know of. There's a jeweller's saw that has a blade about .5 mm wide & thick and 150 mm long. You put the blade in the saw facing backwards toward the back of the saw and away from the skin. That couldn't have been pleasant. The blade would break often & you'd have to hold the ring still.

There is also a specialized saw for getting rings off of fat fingers, it looks like pliers. One arm of the jaw is thin and fits between the skin and the ring. The other arm has a small cutting wheel that is hand cranked.

Either method would have taken a while. You could try soap to lubricate it I guess. Just stop pulling & let the swelling go down first. Maybe you could just immerse the whole thing in ice water.

/Dunno, just working the issue.

jake3988: It took firefighters 20 minutes to remove the ring after staff at Queen Elizabeth hospital, Woolwich, were unable to prise it from the man's genitals. Two fire engines were dispatched to perform the delicate procedure, which took place in May this year.
=================================================================

What?

A) Firefighters were able to get the ring off but not the hospital?!

B) What on Earth were the fire engines gonna do to get a ring off a penis? And that they needed TWO of them?

They don't need the fire engine itself, they need the EQUIPMENT on the engine, which includes Jaws of Life and all that. Which sounds pretty terrifyingly non-applicable, but that's not how you reason in an emergency. In an EMERGENCY, you say "bring everything ASAP and we'll sort out what we need when it's here". Because maybe Jaws of Life IS surprisingly useful, so it'd suck to leave the fire engine with the old obsolete one with the smaller jaws... oh wait we need THAT one.

Witchydiva: Not news: Friend of mine worked at Charity Hospital in New Orleans, told a story about a dumbass who came in because he'd used a stainless steel nut as a cockring with his ladyfriend.

Newsish: He couldn't come because it hurt too much, and had already tried ice water - but the ring was too tight and wasn't letting any blood out - so apparently the poor guy was oozing clear fluid and blood through the skin of his penis. And yeah - it took multiple people to use whatever saw they had to use (also multiple people/interns to watch, of course). Dumb fark was all cut up from the threads inside the ring on top of having blown out capillaries.

Fark: This was back in the day when they wrote up all the patients' names on a whiteboard. His wife just *happened* to bring a friend to the ER for something totally unrelated, and saw her last name on the board and asked wtf was going on - and then found out that her husband was cheating on her.

Story comes to me from an ER doc, so take it with a grain of salt. He tells it better than I do. :)

Stainless is a harder steel to cut, too.

I'd do it with a Dremel and someone spraying water coolant on it. If you've got steady hands, it's entirely possible to do this without touching skin. You'd want to try to wedge a plastic or cloth protector underneath if at all possible.

But the important part- DON'T DO JUST ONE SIDE. On a thick nut, once you cut one side, there's now a 1/16" slot gap, which in no way means it comes right off, and you probably won't be able to pry it off. But someone's gonna try- they jam two screwdrivers into the slot and pry- and what happens is the gap widens, admits some SKIN, and closes again when you release it realizing the nut won't bend off like it's made of clay.

And the next thing that happens is somebody is gonna make another slot cut 180 deg away, and then pry apart the open side too soon, when there's like 1/8" of metal left to go. That means that not only does skin get pinched in the open slot, but the slot you're cutting closes, and further attempts to recut it may simply result in broken cutting disks.

No, the only way to solve this is slot one side until only like 1/32" remains, then slot the other until 1/32" remains, then use screwdrivers to pry the slot apart and break both sides off into two clean pieces at the same time, in one single motion.

BronyMedic: jake3988: It took firefighters 20 minutes to remove the ring after staff at Queen Elizabeth hospital, Woolwich, were unable to prise it from the man's genitals. Two fire engines were dispatched to perform the delicate procedure, which took place in May this year.
=================================================================

What?

A) Firefighters were able to get the ring off but not the hospital?!

B) What on Earth were the fire engines gonna do to get a ring off a penis? And that they needed TWO of them?

They may have called for an Advanced Life Support or Rescue Pumper with specialized tools. (I.e. analgesics and a ring cutter.)

Or the other guys came to point and laugh.

Truth is, the guys who do this stuff LOVE bizarre cases like this, esp involving penises. There's a certain high involving being 100% dead-on professional and logical while judiciously discussing applying a power saw to a penis, drawing out plans on a whiteboard.

I had some EMT friends in college. Damn right they would love to be there for something like this. It'd be a highpoint of their lives, even if they were only sitting outside the room. It would be enough to even be NEAR such greatness.

Why did the entire department come? Because they all thought THIS WAS TOO GOOD TO MISS!

Best genital entrapment was the guy who stuck his penis through one of the holes in the park bench. The majesty of it is not merely a) being stuck to a large object, but b) being stuck to a large, immobile, cemented-in object so it has to be rescued on-site, and c) in a completely public place as that site.

That's some kinda Triple Word Score space right there.