Tubes of shiat? Sick tag?

It's tofu, a plant. It doesn't have "nasty bits" you'd want to avoid. It doesn't have an anus, or tongues, brains, bile, blood, shiat, piss, etc etc.

I'm not really a fan of tofurkey, but it's definitely not "sick". Subby's an idiot.

It's cheese made with soy milk instead of cow's milk, without the possible use of bacteria taken from a cow's intestines. Oh my god, it's the most disgusting thing ever. EVER!

Wind-powered factory? I'm guessing the workers are eating their own product if that's truly the case.

You know why so much vegetarian fare has to try to imitate the taste of meat? Because meat tastes so damned good. Try as you will, you can't overcome that fact.

jjorsett: You know why so much vegetarian fare has to try to imitate the taste of meat? Because meat tastes so damned good. Try as you will, you can't overcome that fact.

You know why few people can tell the difference between a beef burger and tofu when they're both served on a bun with lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle, ketchup, mustard and mayonaise? Because you're primarily tasting condiments and chewing on a hot patty of similar texture in both instances, but the tofu is fat-free, high in protein and environmentally less damaging to produce than raising cattle. Try as you will, you can't overcome that fact.

Barricaded Gunman: jjorsett: You know why so much vegetarian fare has to try to imitate the taste of meat? Because meat tastes so damned good. Try as you will, you can't overcome that fact.

You know why few people can tell the difference between a beef burger and tofu when they're both served on a bun with lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle, ketchup, mustard and mayonaise? Because you're primarily tasting condiments and chewing on a hot patty of similar texture in both instances, but the tofu is fat-free, high in protein and environmentally less damaging to produce than raising cattle. Try as you will, you can't overcome that fact.

submitter sounds fat.

//6'0, 195, jacked, crossfit competitor, 70k/yr, late twenties, hot girlfriend, VEGETARIAN

iAdmin: hot girlfriend

Citation needed.

iAdmin: submitter sounds fat.

//6'0, 195, jacked, crossfit competitor, 70k/yr, late twenties, hot girlfriend, VEGETARIAN

Hey, don't you have to be at the gym in twenty-six minutes?

Barricaded Gunman: jjorsett: You know why so much vegetarian fare has to try to imitate the taste of meat? Because meat tastes so damned good. Try as you will, you can't overcome that fact.

You know why few people can tell the difference between a beef burger and tofu when they're both served on a bun with lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle, ketchup, mustard and mayonaise? Because you're primarily tasting condiments and chewing on a hot patty of similar texture in both instances, but the tofu is fat-free, high in protein and environmentally less damaging to produce than raising cattle. Try as you will, you can't overcome that fact.

Nice try. Have you ever even seen a soy burger patty? They're farking nasty. There's simply no way in hell anyone in their right mind could bite into one and not instantly realize it.

iAdmin: submitter sounds fat.

//6'0, 195, jacked, crossfit competitor, 70k/yr, late twenties, hot girlfriend, VEGETARIAN

Are you sure you have time to be posting on fark? Don't you have to be somewhere?

Barricaded Gunman: jjorsett: You know why so much vegetarian fare has to try to imitate the taste of meat? Because meat tastes so damned good. Try as you will, you can't overcome that fact.

You know why few people can tell the difference between a beef burger and tofu when they're both served on a bun with lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle, ketchup, mustard and mayonaise? Because you're primarily tasting condiments and chewing on a hot patty of similar texture in both instances, but the tofu is fat-free, high in protein and environmentally less damaging to produce than raising cattle. Try as you will, you can't overcome that fact.

Because plowing over 160 acres for a soybean field and all the fertilizers, pesticides, and herbicides that go with it is so much more environmentally friendly than a cow grazing on pasture, which provides habitat for a whole host of smaller animals.

StrangeQ: Nice try. Have you ever even seen a soy burger patty? They're farking nasty. There's simply no way in hell anyone in their right mind could bite into one and not instantly realize it.

I have, and they're pretty damn good now. I don't know when you last tried one, but they've come a long way in the past little while.

I've had a few vegetarian meals that people haven't realized weren't meat until we told them.

summersa74: Barricaded Gunman: environmentally less damaging to produce than raising cattle. Try as you will, you can't overcome that fact.

Because plowing over 160 acres for a soybean field and all the fertilizers, pesticides, and herbicides that go with it is so much more environmentally friendly than a cow grazing on pasture, which provides habitat for a whole host of smaller animals.

But how many cows are just left to graze in a pasture now? Not many. Instead, most are fed grains, which are grown exactly the same way you described above, but with the added step of then feeding it through a cow, with the added hormones, antibiotics, and problems that entails.

It's quite well-documented that animal farming is much harder on the environment than a vegetarian diet is.

bigpeeler: Only to become tubes of shiat once again.

So they're self sustaining?

BurnShrike: I have, and they're pretty damn good now. I don't know when you last tried one, but they've come a long way in the past little while.

Have you tried the Amy's burgers? Kinda pricey, but really worth it.

summersa74: Because plowing over 160 acres for a soybean field and all the fertilizers, pesticides, and herbicides that go with it is so much more environmentally friendly than a cow grazing on pasture, which provides habitat for a whole host of smaller animals.

This isn't the 19th century where cows graze pastures. Most cows are fed grains, typically corn, to fatten them up. The grain that the cows is far, far greater than what it takes just to make a soy burger, and most soyburgers I've seen are organic so the pesticide and herbicide argument is rather moot.

I'm from Indiana where practically the entire northern half of the state is dedicated to corn for cattle feed. It takes up a lot of room.

Barricaded Gunman: ...few people can tell the difference between a beef burger and tofu...

I smell some bullshiat...

\Had a "GardenBurger" a few months ago on a dare
\\Fecking awful, bro

BurnShrike: It's tofu, a plant. It doesn't have "nasty bits" you'd want to avoid. It doesn't have an anus, or tongues, brains, bile, blood, shiat, piss, etc etc

Even then, some of the 'nasty bits' you mentioned are only nasty due to cultural preference. There isn't any substantial difference between tongue and any other muscle.

Gelatin is also made of 'nasty bits'.

iAdmin: Barricaded Gunman: jjorsett: You know why so much vegetarian fare has to try to imitate the taste of meat? Because meat tastes so damned good. Try as you will, you can't overcome that fact.

You know why few people can tell the difference between a beef burger and tofu when they're both served on a bun with lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle, ketchup, mustard and mayonaise? Because you're primarily tasting condiments and chewing on a hot patty of similar texture in both instances, but the tofu is fat-free, high in protein and environmentally less damaging to produce than raising cattle. Try as you will, you can't overcome that fact.

submitter sounds fat.

//6'0, 195, jacked, crossfit competitor, 70k/yr, late twenties, hot girlfriend, VEGETARIAN

Pshh. Only $70K? Meat is for closers.

Barricaded Gunman: jjorsett: You know why so much vegetarian fare has to try to imitate the taste of meat? Because meat tastes so damned good. Try as you will, you can't overcome that fact.

You know why few people can tell the difference between a beef burger and tofu when they're both served on a bun with lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle, ketchup, mustard and mayonaise? Because you're primarily tasting condiments and chewing on a hot patty of similar texture in both instances, but the tofu is fat-free, high in protein and environmentally less damaging to produce than raising cattle. Try as you will, you can't overcome that fact.

Hint. Things which are false are not facts. They are actually the opposite of facts.

I LIKE vegetarian burgers from time to time. But unless you have seared the sense of taste and touch off your tongue with a read hot metal spatula, you can tell the difference.

I suppose if you made a VERY crappy hamburger and overcooked it might be similar to a vegetarian patty in taste and texture.

iAdmin: //6'0, 195, jacked, crossfit competitor, 70k/yr, late twenties, hot girlfriend, VEGETARIAN, small peen

FTFY

Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: BurnShrike: I have, and they're pretty damn good now. I don't know when you last tried one, but they've come a long way in the past little while.

Have you tried the Amy's burgers? Kinda pricey, but really worth it.

I have. They're pretty darn good. They're the ones I usually buy, when I actually buy stuff like this.


brigid_fitch: Some vegetarian burgers are better than others. Morningstar's Grillers are pretty good.

Morningstar makes some excellent vegetarian fare. I just wish we could get it up in Canada.


Also, Schneider's makes a really good 'chicken' patty/nuggets. I've had a few people who ate them and couldn't tell the difference.

Tofurky Italian sausages simmered on the stove in olive oil, in a bun, with some Sriracha, feta and sun dried tomatoes on top. Goddammit now I'm hungry

Cook tofurkey starts with a lightly greased pan...

Cooking*

/fail

There are very few well cooked veggie products that can pretend to be a well cooked meat. But there are plenty of veggie products that can pretend to be crummy meat (or a meat ingredient). If you cook a meat replacement terribly it is obviously going to taste awful. If the one meat replacement product that you have tried was: cooked like a normal burger, had the name "boca" anywhere on it, or was microwaved you were ripped off.

"meat replacement products don't taste like meat so thus all veggies are morons...." is such a stupid argument. It is not the reason for meat replacements. Veggie meat replacements are designed to help people wean off their meat based diets as it is hard to do a full change on your basic diets. When I went veggie i used them for a year or so until i had learned to cook fully veggie without thinking "where is the meat product." They are not meant to be a "meat deceiving product" but merely a "meat replacement." Once i learned how to grill up some mean portabella mushrooms, I no longer had a need for faux-burgers. Tofurkey will never equal turkey and very few people are saying that. It is designed to replace turkey.

My veggie-ness is not infringing on your ability to be a meat eater so stop acting like we are attacking you. It is not a big deal to me what you eat. I would prefer you wouldn't eat meat, but I also prefer that you just at more healthy in general. If you continued to eat meat throughout your life, it wouldn't bother me. I had a wonderful and filling veggie thanksgiving with my family and there wasn't a single meat replacement or tofurkey in sight. The whole damn table was full of food, it was all absolutely delicious (and you would definitely agree), and I celebrated the holidays in the same fashion that you did. Good food, good family, good beer and good times.

fatimcgee: I smell some bullshiat... \Had a "GardenBurger" a few months ago on a dare \Fecking awful, bro

You ate a GardenBurger "on a dare"? Whoa... and you lived to tell the tale. Amazing.

This attitude seems typical of a lot of people who've someone managed to equate eating meat with some kind of variation on the internet tough guy stance, as if hamburgers somehow turn you into a cowboy or something, while eating a veg burger makes you a gay hippie.

Just as it's been documented (and mentioned above) that raising cattle is costlier and more environmentally-damaging than raising soy, it's also been shown time and again that most people (perhaps not you, with your rarified palate, but most people) can't tell the difference between soy and beef when it's served on a bun with condiments. Hell, I've done a similar test with my idiot mother in law, who was enjoying one of those vegetarian breakfast patties at my house until my wife told her it wasn't meat, and she had to jump up and spit it out in the trash like it was radioactive. Retarded.

Realize that "Real meat for real people" is an ad campaign paid for by people trying to sell you meat.

Barricaded Gunman: Hell, I've done a similar test with my idiot mother in law, who was enjoying one of those vegetarian breakfast patties at my house until my wife told her it wasn't meat, and she had to jump up and spit it out in the trash like it was radioactive.

A bunch of years ago my veggie ex-gf brought taco's to an event and her entire family was eating them. It was a TVP crumble based thing and was pretty damn good. Tasted just like real ground meat (but a little less greasy.) Her grandpa ate about 5 tacos before noticing that she was dishing her plate out of the same bowl. He got all green in the face, jumped up and spent the next hour puking it up. He wasn't allergic or anything, it was just all in his head.

After that he definitely felt worse about his cold-hearted meat/veggie switcheroo he pulled the year before.

Barricaded Gunman

jjorsett: You know why so much vegetarian fare has to try to imitate the taste of meat? Because meat tastes so damned good. Try as you will, you can't overcome that fact.

You know why few people can tell the difference between a beef burger and tofu

Got a link to a video of a reliable blind taste test that supports your theory?

summersa74: Because plowing over 160 acres for a soybean field and all the fertilizers, pesticides, and herbicides that go with it is so much more environmentally friendly than a cow grazing on pasture, which provides habitat for a whole host of smaller animals.

Here's your idyllic 160-acre cow pasture. I suggest you refrain from getting any of that "whole host of smaller animals" on your shoes...



/vegan

SharkTrager: iAdmin: hot girlfriend

Citation needed.

She's reddit-famous, I'll see if she's down for me to link.

State_College_Arsonist: iAdmin: submitter sounds fat.

//6'0, 195, jacked, crossfit competitor, 70k/yr, late twenties, hot girlfriend, VEGETARIAN

Hey, don't you have to be at the gym in twenty-six minutes?

I'll be working out at home today. And the nice thing about crossfit is, most workouts only take about 26 minutes.

Fark You Buddy: iAdmin: //6'0, 195, jacked, crossfit competitor, 70k/yr, late twenties, hot girlfriend, VEGETARIAN, small peen

FTFY

genetics? symmetrical features, great skin, great hair, 7 inches of dick.

Most cattle are pasture feed most of their lives. Feed lots and massive amounts of grain are used to marble the meat, AKA increase the fat content. It isn't cost-effective to lot feed their entire lives. With the trend towards lower fat meat, the amount of time spent in feed lots has decreased.

And it tastes much better. Yeah, it doesn't matter on a bun with mounds of sludge; but, I eat meat all by itself.

Oddly enough, I live in an area where cattle area raised.

Vegetarians vs meat eaters aside, I find it fascinating that someone invented a machine to simulate/analyze how something will feel when you eat it.

Ok wow.

I've seen a lot on Fark but never seen a Tofu snob thread.

This is awesome.

You like Tofu bacon because you secretly wish you were eating real bacon. No other reason for it. You're jealous of the flavor and the awesomeness that is bacon, so you have to make a "substitute" in order to try and love bacon.

farkin' sad

/off to eat a pig

Is it another fark thing to tag all tofu/soy related food articles as Sick?

I can think of tons more "sick" food than soy off the top of my head.

Smiths: You like Tofu bacon because you secretly wish you were eating real bacon. No other reason for it. You're jealous of the flavor and the awesomeness that is bacon, so you have to make a "substitute" in order to try and love bacon.

farkin' sad

/off to eat a pig

I, for one, am glad you stopped in to deliver your uninformed opinion. Carry on.

I like Boca Flame Grilled veggie burgers, and their Spicy Chikn is good on occasion, but I also eat meat.

I am not sure why most vegetarians/vegans come off as some holier-than-thou, we're always right, pricks, but one of the great things about being a human is that we have the freedom of CHOICE.

Vegetarianism ranks right up there with religion with the constant preaching of "do things our way or your doooooooooooomed". and we think we're better than you

BurnShrike: Smiths: You like Tofu bacon because you secretly wish you were eating real bacon. No other reason for it. You're jealous of the flavor and the awesomeness that is bacon, so you have to make a "substitute" in order to try and love bacon.

farkin' sad

/off to eat a pig

I, for one, am glad you stopped in to deliver your uninformed opinion. Carry on.

I speak for the masses. You speak for the trees. Lorax.
I am the Lorax of pork.

Tyrone Slothrop: Vegetarians vs meat eaters aside, I find it fascinating that someone invented a machine to simulate/analyze how something will feel when you eat it.

Most any facility that produces food for the general consumer will have many different tests to simulate what the consumer is going to experience eating/drinking their product. Plus human sensory tests to get a realization of what different qualities various people like or dislike.

I've eaten tofu. Tofuburgers, a friend made some awesome lasagna with tofu & I've made stir-fry with it. Nothing gross about it. Done right, it's quite tasty. I'm a meat-eater, but I have nothing against tofu or vegans.

In fact, if I were smart, (and had more money, because veggie based stuff costs more) I'd eat that stuff more and meat-based meals less. Alas, crap is cheaper for us poor folk.

Whole lot of stupid in this thread.

If you don't eat meat, that's cool. If you eat meat, that's cool.

Meat's bad for the environment. Anyone yelling about how plants are alive too! or some such nonsense about cattle not destroying the environment is uninformed or willfully ignoring facts.

The biggest douches are anti-vegetarians. Proselytizing vegetarians are at least trying to make the world better. Anti-vegetarian douches are just people who are feeling threatened and are afraid of change. If you refuse to try tofu, you are an asshole.

/Eats meat. Meat is delicious.
//Not so threatened by others that the idea of fake meat scares me.

GibbyTheMole: I've eaten tofu. Tofuburgers, a friend made some awesome lasagna with tofu & I've made stir-fry with it. Nothing gross about it. Done right, it's quite tasty. I'm a meat-eater, but I have nothing against tofu or vegans.

In fact, if I were smart, (and had more money, because veggie based stuff costs more) I'd eat that stuff more and meat-based meals less. Alas, crap is cheaper for us poor folk.

Straight tofu is usually crazy cheap. Like, dollar-ish a pound.

Step 1: Form low fat hamburger into half to 1 inch pattys.
Step 2: Season with salt and pepper.
Step 3: Cook to medium.
Step 4: Put on bun of choice and enjoy.

When you can make a vegi burger that tastes as good as that, then we can talk.

iAdmin: Fark You Buddy: iAdmin: //6'0, 195, jacked, crossfit competitor, 70k/yr, late twenties, hot girlfriend, VEGETARIAN, small peen

FTFY

genetics? symmetrical features, great skin, great hair, 7 inches of dick.

and still no mention of IQ. how telling.