FARK.com: (6761662) Man purchases venomous black mamba snake at an interstate exit in South Georgia. What could possibly go wrong?

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		Man purchases venomous black mamba snake at an interstate exit in South Georgia. What could possibly go wrong? (ajc.com)		79
		More: Dumbass, South Georgia, Ron Rosenbaum

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11661 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Nov 2011 at 4:49 AM | Favorite | share:

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79 Comments (+0 »)

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vudukungfu

2011-11-24 11:50:13 PM

A hot blonde could attack him in his camper?

He could have to unclog the toilet at a tittie bar?

melopene

2011-11-24 11:54:27 PM

I wish I could say that I was somehow surprised that this happened in Camden county.

tallguywithglasseson

2011-11-25 12:08:22 AM

It's like an episode of Squidbillies.

Too bad he lived, was THIS close to a Darwin Award

dustman81

2011-11-25 12:14:16 AM

Wants her Black Mamba back

ultraholland

2011-11-25 12:15:48 AM

It bite, you buy!

Ed Finnerty

2011-11-25 04:50:34 AM

"Would you like a bag with that?"

"No thanks."

Fluorescent Testicle

2011-11-25 04:51:20 AM

Better luck next time, Darwin.

chaddsfarkprefect

2011-11-25 04:57:36 AM

Anyone buying a black mamba at a roadside stand in Georgia would probably not know the difference if you sold him a rat snake. Much safer.

you are a puppet

2011-11-25 05:02:22 AM

There was this one exit down in South Georgia where the guy used to sell human jerky. I think it was exit 33.

DuX

2011-11-25 05:13:01 AM

Maby it was to beaucoup?

cdn1.hark.com

/S'cuse me while I whip this out
//hot, long time

Silais

2011-11-25 05:25:32 AM

All right, when do we get a 'RETARD' tag for things like this?

TravisBickle62

2011-11-25 05:39:48 AM

That's why I buy all my venomous snakes from reputable dealers at flea markets

182

2011-11-25 05:46:23 AM

Kobe?

buckler

2011-11-25 05:50:35 AM

At least he wasn't buying "P-NUTS". Those things are nasty.

Uneven Displacement

2011-11-25 05:53:55 AM

buckler: At least he wasn't buying "P-NUTS". Those things are nasty.

the boiled ones? yes, nasty indeed.

chess_imp

2011-11-25 05:59:32 AM

I guess there wasn't a gargantuan amount of venom.

Day_Old_Dutchie

2011-11-25 06:07:39 AM

Papa loves mamba.

swahnhennessy

2011-11-25 06:13:01 AM

I bought a black mambazo once. It gave me a Paul Simon album.

Happy Hours

2011-11-25 06:13:14 AM

Great - that's all we need is an infestation of non-native poisonous snakes to go along with all the pythons in Florida.

Why the fark do people want those things as pets?

Check this out - it's a very lethal reptile I keep in an aquarium that's way too small for it and if it escapes it could wreak havoc on the whole country eventually!

buckler

2011-11-25 06:13:52 AM

swahnhennessy: I bought a black mambazo once. It gave me a Paul Simon album.

How long were you hospitalized?

swahnhennessy

2011-11-25 06:19:25 AM

buckler: swahnhennessy: I bought a black mambazo once. It gave me a Paul Simon album.

How long were you hospitalized?

I dunno. I was in a bubble most of the time.

Skr

2011-11-25 06:22:47 AM

I read the headline as "Punches" instead of "Purchases". Not that purchasing at an interstate exit makes any more sense.

/Punch the black mamba, if you dare.

Khazar-Khum

2011-11-25 06:25:26 AM

Around here all anyone sells are flowers.

Devo Cornholiosky

2011-11-25 06:34:53 AM

The Black Mambaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Ed Grubermann

2011-11-25 06:40:07 AM

Harry Blackitt: That's what being a Protestant's all about. That's why it's the church for me. That's why it's the church for anyone who respects the individual and the individual's right to decide for him or herself. When Martin Luther nailed his protest up to the church door in fifteen-seventeen, he may not have realised the full significance of what he was doing, but four hundred years later, thanks to him, my dear, I can wear whatever I want on my John Thomas, and, Protestantism doesn't stop at the simple condom. Oh, no. I can wear French Ticklers if I want.
Mrs. Blackitt: You what?
Harry Blackitt: French Ticklers. Black Mambos. Crocodile Ribs. Sheaths that are designed not only to protect, but also to enhance the stimulation of sexual congress.
Mrs. Blackitt: Have you got one?
Harry Blackitt: Have I got one? Uh, well, no, but I can go down the road any time I want and walk into Harry's and hold my head up high and say in a loud, steady voice, 'Harry, I want you to sell me a condom. In fact, today, I think I'll have a French Tickler, for I am a Protestant.'
Mrs. Blackitt: Well, why don't you?
Harry Blackitt: But they - Well, they cannot, 'cause their church never made the great leap out of the Middle Ages and the domination of alien Episcopal supremacy.

TomD9938

2011-11-25 06:59:48 AM

Happy Hours: Why the fark do people want those things as pets?

Check this out - it's a very lethal reptile I keep in an aquarium that's way too small for it and if it escapes it could wreak havoc on the whole country

You answered your own question.

With a pet like this... people are finally gonna show Cletus the respect that Cletus deserves.

JackalRabbit

2011-11-25 07:13:38 AM

Happy Hours: Check this out - it's a very lethal reptile I keep in an aquarium that's way too small for it and if it escapes it could wreak havoc on the whole country eventually!

While it is the fastest snake that exists, it probably couldn't travel the entire country in 11 years that is the normal lifespan in the wild. However, it probably could travel from coast to coast more times than Forest Gump accomplished.

aearra

2011-11-25 07:19:14 AM

Anyone want to bet this idiot will go out and try to buy another one?

Irving Maimway

2011-11-25 07:35:44 AM

Came for Megamind and Meaning of Life. Leaving happy.

Irving Maimway

2011-11-25 07:36:56 AM

Devo Cornholiosky: [img842.imageshack.us image 640x358]
The Black Mambaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

David Cross was wonderful as Minion.

Type40

2011-11-25 07:42:08 AM

and all I got form a crossroads in Georga was this lousy solid gold vIolin.

kokomo61

2011-11-25 07:55:37 AM

I'm surprised the guy's not dead. A black mamba bite can kill in less than 10 minutes. Surviving one isn't all that pleasant, either. In addition to neurotixic venom, it's also cardiotoxic.....meaning that even if you live, you may have permanent paralyisis or heart damage.

At one exhibit (Cape Fear Serpentarium, Wilmington, NC), a description says that locals warn 'if you are bitten by the black mamba, it is best just to lay down and die.'

lerxst2112

2011-11-25 07:59:17 AM

you are a puppet: There was this one exit down in South Georgia where the guy used to sell human jerky. I think it was exit 33.

That's probably Cook County. I'm hardly surprised.

Pants full of macaroni!!

2011-11-25 08:05:50 AM

South Georgia? (pops)

herrDrFarkenstein

2011-11-25 08:16:50 AM

Type40: and all I got form a crossroads in Georga was this lousy solid gold vIolin.

Leave Britney Spears alone!!!

Chinchillazilla

2011-11-25 08:25:27 AM

I wonder which "R" he's filled with: relief or regret?

GoldDude

2011-11-25 08:39:11 AM

Lack of details regarding what happened to the snake and the snake seller. Is this going to be on Kijiji next week?

hurdboy

2011-11-25 08:40:38 AM

Wrong tag. FTFA: The Florida Times-Union reports that John K. Rosenbaum of Jacksonville was bitten during the sale Monday along I-95 in Kingsland.

Madaynun

2011-11-25 09:16:10 AM

hurdboy: Wrong tag. FTFA: The Florida Times-Union reports that John K. Rosenbaum of Jacksonville was bitten during the sale Monday along I-95 in Kingsland.

[img1.fark.net image 108x22]

Headline reading Comprehension FAIL. He was bit in Georgia.

fireteacher

2011-11-25 09:16:20 AM

hurdboy: Wrong tag. FTFA: The Florida Times-Union reports that John K. Rosenbaum of Jacksonville was bitten during the sale Monday along I-95 in Kingsland.

Nope, sorry to have to claim this one, but Kingland is in Georgia (new window). Just across the St. Mary's River, but still. Wonder if it was one of the bubbleheads from the Navy base wanting a new pet to take out on deployment?

browneye

2011-11-25 09:23:07 AM

Man purchases venomous black mamba snake at an interstate exit in South Georgia. What could possibly go wrong?

Well this man can make a pretty compelling case.

pics.kinokadr.ru

jrl

2011-11-25 09:26:32 AM

kokomo61: At one exhibit (Cape Fear Serpentarium, Wilmington, NC), a description says that locals warn 'if you are bitten by the black mamba, it is best just to lay down and die.'

They called it the cigarette snake in Lusaka, meaning if bitten you might
as well light a cigarette because you won't have time to smoke it.
Maybe the Mambas in Lusaka were faster than usual in this way as well
they scoot across the road pretty fast when a car is coming.
In the wiki page it seems to show 20 minutes to 3 hours but the
antivenin confuses things. Seems amazing that there was Black Mamba
antivenin ready to go within 20 minutes, though. I guess the hospitals
in Florida have to deal with stuff like this all the time.

Amos Quito

2011-11-25 09:37:19 AM

Ed Finnerty: "Would you like a bag with that?"

"No thanks."

Ha!~

skink

2011-11-25 09:38:08 AM

I lived in Mamba country (Botswana) as a child. I have two CSBs:

1) Shortly before we arrived in country, a Mamba got spooked, bolted for its burrow, and bit a young boy, three sheep, a horse AND the man riding it. ALL died.

2) My father got called out to an employee home/camp to kill one. I was with him. They backed a Landrover up to the hole. Dad stood on the back tailgate staring into the burrow with a twelve gauge. They pumped exhaust down the hole via a hose. Mamba came out, Dad fired as soon as he could see the snake...And shot it a FOOT BEHIND THE HEAD. Momentum carried the head over Dad, where it thumped into the back of the Rover.

I am not at ALL excited that there are probably now Mambas in Florida. They are a freakishly frightening snake. Where we lived, we had four varieties of cobras...The only snakes we worried about were Mambas and Boomslangs.

Amos Quito

2011-11-25 09:41:22 AM

Happy Hours: Great - that's all we need is an infestation of non-native poisonous snakes to go along with all the pythons in Florida.

Why the fark do people want those things as pets?

It was a gift for his ex wife.

browneye

2011-11-25 09:44:39 AM

1) Shortly before we arrived in country, a Mamba got spooked, bolted for its burrow, and bit a young boy, three sheep, a horse AND the man riding it. ALL died.

Damn. Just...damn.

EngineerBob

2011-11-25 10:00:21 AM

funnier story from the sidebar about using FIx-a-Flat for butt enhancement...

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/crime/assistant-to-south-florida-do c tor-arrested-in-boosting-1992587.html?cxtype=rss_news

LordOfThePings

2011-11-25 10:27:26 AM

Something you still can't do on Sunday.

DragonDeadite

2011-11-25 10:50:07 AM

What the hell is WRONG WITH PEOPLE!?!?!? A Black Mamba??? Screw you guys, I'm never going to Georgia now...

"I just got bit by a snake!"
"What kind?"
"A Black Mamba"
"That sucks... I got a gun in the glove box."
"What good is shooting the snake gonna do??"
"It ain't for the snake."

/Also, this Link (new window)

Fast Moon

2011-11-25 11:00:43 AM

Devo Cornholiosky: [img842.imageshack.us image 640x358]
The Black Mambaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Came for that. Thank you.

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