I hate it when people leave their curtains open and force me to break in and steal stuff. It's just like women that wear low-cut blouses that force me to rape them.

Why are houses with the curtains pulled a better target?

Time to lock him in a room with a hungry badger.

gopher321: Time to cover him in gravy and, lock him in a room with a dozen hungry badgers high on PCP.

Slaxl: Jesus, he has the worst grammer than most farkerS. And whats with the ranDom capitalisaTions?

Yeah! Only Hunter S. Thompson is allowed to get away with that!

feckingmorons: Of course they don't bang him up with a custodial sentence, they just use the letters to tell good people that they have to be prisoners in their own homes and can't have even a bit of fresh air because some poorly educated poorly raised burglar will steal their things and it would serve them right for leaving their shades up.

The UK where mollycoddling child criminals is a science.

I don't complete disagree with you, but in this case they didn't pass the letter on to the victim, they simply publicised it as a kind of "Look at the kind of twunt we have to deal with" publicity.

I personally think his sentence should have been increased to a sound and thorough arse-kicking because of this letter, but that's never going to happen.

Take every chav in the country, cut off their balls and/or lady parts and let them all just go extinct. No one will miss them.

I hate people who write in Comic Sans MS

BurnShrike: I hate it when people leave their curtains open and force me to break in and steal stuff. It's just like women that wear low-cut blouses that force me to rape them.

Did the curtains match the carpet?

Now, I'm against the death penalty in principle. I don't believe the state should have the type of irreversible power to destroy someone's life. I just don't trust the government that much.

That said, this guy should be killed by his government, as a service to the public.

TexasPeace: If they would just permit residents or neighbors to shoot the burglars in England, the way we do in Texas, they wouldn't have this problem.

Yes, because there are no burglaries in Texas, thank the Jebus.

I thought his grammar and spelling were actually pretty decent for a burgler

Robert1966: TexasPeace: If they would just permit residents or neighbors to shoot the burglars in England, the way we do in Texas, they wouldn't have this problem.

Yes, because there are no burglaries in Texas, thank the Jebus.

But when there are, there's a chance the criminal gets shot dead. I see nothing wrong with that result.

Wow just wow, tell me how the worthless piece o'shiat is ever going to rehabilitate.

TheSpaceAdmiral: ArkAngel: I would have sent the letter back to him with his atrocious grammar and spelling corrected.

Don't forget to add, P.S. I'm also going to run you through the dumb mistakes you made. Mostly it was that you got caught despite all the dumb mistakes I made. In a high crime area such as this, there are literally hundreds of criminals committing crimes and getting away with it and every single one of those criminals is better and smarter than you. They could probably even break into a house with a closed window and drawn shades! You should know better than to take on a task beyond your intellectual ability, such as crawling through an open window.

No kidding.

Dear crook:

I understand that you want a PS3 without having to buy one. I get that, I really do.

But you're doing it wrong. You don't want to steal from a person. If you break into someone's house you're looking at more crimes. Break and enter, possession of burglary tools, entering a house without the presence of bees, trespassing, you name it. That PS3 cost him real money out of his pocket. A corporation? They expect stealing. The employees don't care, it's not hurting anyone except a blip on a faceless corporation's quarterly profit. They'd steal from you. They'd stab you if there was profit in it, and they'd do a cost analysis to see if it's cheaper to pull the knife out and restab, or just get a new knife.

What you want to do is this: get a job. Not just any job, but a job at a place where they sell PS3s. Maybe it's Wal-Mart, maybe it's a Gamestop, but a place where they have PS3s all over the place. No job? No references? Make it up and use your mates as contact info. They have cell phones, right? You show up for work. At some point, they'll ask you to close up, the manager has a date. That's when you take the PS3 out of the box, put it in your backpack, and go home. Put the box back on the shelf. Tape it up. Maybe they'll find it next time there's inventory, maybe they won't. If you don't get caught, then you get to keep going in to work. Why pay for the games when you can give yourself a "bonus" each quarter?

If you do get caught, you'll be fired. You won't be jailed.

Also, the best time to break in to someone's house is when they're all sitting down for Sunday dinner. Get into the master bedroom, grab the jewels, and get out.

TFA: "The contents of the letter are disgusting but it highlights the cold and dispassionate way burglars select a property to target."

Would they prefer a more personal burglary?

What is with England and their juvenile hoodlum population? They are just criminals, they are grade A dicks.

Sounds like arizona joe's press conference when one of his deputies was caught stealing from a defense lawyer.

Come to the good old USA and try that shiat at my house. You wouldn't have the chance to feel sorry or not feel sorry,well..you might have one millisecond to regret breaking into the wrong house as my .45 cal semi jacketed hollow point empties what you laughingly call a brain out the back of your moranic head and paints dead idiot art all over my walls.

Pert: "Look at the kind of twunt we have to deal with"

LOL

"twunt"

Bit'O'Gristle: Come to the good old USA and try that shiat at my house. You wouldn't have the chance to feel sorry or not feel sorry,well..you might have one millisecond to regret breaking into the wrong house as my .45 cal semi jacketed hollow point empties what you laughingly call a brain out the back of your moranic head and paints dead idiot art all over my walls.

Texas no doubt.

mekki: What is with England and their juvenile hoodlum population? They are just criminals, they are grade A dicks.

Someone needs to go Harry Brown on their arses.

/you forgot your 6 P's
//deleted scene

lawl you people make me sick. you sit there and assume everyone has equal opportunity to education, everyone has an equal chance at making it big and rich, and that if you dont take advantage of both your an idiot and a looser. lawl.

that there is what you call ignorant. sure, he stole, and sure its wrong, but i dont see a large difference between the back stabbing office politic world you come from.

and dont sit there and deny that any of you havent deliberately dkd with someone at work, or someone you didnt like. ruining a relationship, getting them fired or demoted (and in turn hurting there income/livelihood).

as far as i am concerned none of you have any grounds for judging this character and in turn stroking your ego's making yourselves feel better and superior.

our education systems are a joke. you dont honestly believe your going to learn anything that is going to set you apart from the crowd and allow you to succeed do you? lol.

you fking hamsters are so convinced that if you just keep spinning the wheel your going to magically get rich and retire happy.

here is a newsflash. whether its a burglar in your house or a voluntary confiscation via the government, there isn't a god damned thing that you own that cannot or wont be taken away in the future.

try concentrating on whats important. if your priority is a big screen t.v. I honestly hope someone steals it, at least that way the garbage and propaganda will stop hurting your fragile little minds, and maybe then you will all wise up enough to stop concentrating on the asshole who stole your t.v. and start looking at the assholes steeling your freedom.

Sincerely Yours Truly.

(grammar and spelling mistakes deliberately placed to inflate your ego and bypass your insecurities. SUCKERS LAWL)

Lionel Mandrake: I'm guessing we still out-murder them...

Yes, thanks to non-asian minorities.

His mistake was pissing off his droogs so that they let him get caught holding a giant penis sculpture, hammering away at the female resident of the property they were burgling.

/Alex, was that you?

Lionel Mandrake: Lord Jubjub: Lionel Mandrake: I like how he misspelled the same word (know) in two different ways.

feckingmorons: The UK where mollycoddling child criminals is a science.

And yet, we have the higher crime rate...

Not really (new window)

Well, I'll be dipped in shiat. Thanks for the info.

I'm guessing we still out-murder them...

USA!! USA!! USA!!

Yeah, last time I checked Wales & England were #1 and #2 in the Western world for violent crime rate per capita. In fact the violent crime rate in England is something like 4-5 times that of the US.

Wait until you discover the fallacy of murder statistics.

How dumb art thou? Let me count the ways...

ArkAngel: I would have sent the letter back to him with his atrocious grammar and spelling corrected.

I'd keep him in prison until he learns how to write.

ArkAngel: I would have sent the letter back to him with his atrocious grammar and spelling corrected.

His penmanship was better than mine!

/chickenscratch

Bit'O'Gristle: Come to the good old USA and try that shiat at my house. You wouldn't have the chance to feel sorry or not feel sorry,well..you might have one millisecond to regret breaking into the wrong house as my .45 cal semi jacketed hollow point empties what you laughingly call a brain out the back of your moranic head and paints dead idiot art all over my walls.

No, you want to start out a little slower. Something like this:

This wouldn't work in my neighborhood. I've got a [gun brand nickname] and I'd love to try it out on a live target instead of the range for once. If you can, grab a photo of your gun. (Or "your" gun.)

Then you wait. Fishing is all about waiting. Eventually someone will come by and say something about how a life isn't worth some property.

Then you keep waiting. Someone else will respond to THAT, saying that you can't have people breaking into houses without fear of being shot. The risk of death is what keeps criminals in line, or something. Wait a few posts, and then get into some technical details about how one kind of ammo is better for home defence. Fragmenting ammo is better because it doesn't damage your walls or some crap like that. Don't just blurt everything out in one post.

What you wrote is such a sad troll attempt that I've got to stop and correct you. Oh, if nobody bites then it's just a bad day fishing. Don't worry about it.

mraudacia:

(grammar and spelling mistakes deliberately placed to inflate your ego and bypass your insecurities. SUCKERS LAWL)

I'd go with 6/10

mraudacia: lawl you people make me sick. you sit there and assume everyone has equal opportunity to education, everyone has an equal chance at making it big and rich, and that if you dont take advantage of both your an idiot and a looser. lawl.

that there is what you call ignorant. sure, he stole, and sure its wrong, but i dont see a large difference between the back stabbing office politic world you come from.

and dont sit there and deny that any of you havent deliberately dkd with someone at work, or someone you didnt like. ruining a relationship, getting them fired or demoted (and in turn hurting there income/livelihood).

as far as i am concerned none of you have any grounds for judging this character and in turn stroking your ego's making yourselves feel better and superior.

our education systems are a joke. you dont honestly believe your going to learn anything that is going to set you apart from the crowd and allow you to succeed do you? lol.

you fking hamsters are so convinced that if you just keep spinning the wheel your going to magically get rich and retire happy.

here is a newsflash. whether its a burglar in your house or a voluntary confiscation via the government, there isn't a god damned thing that you own that cannot or wont be taken away in the future.

try concentrating on whats important. if your priority is a big screen t.v. I honestly hope someone steals it, at least that way the garbage and propaganda will stop hurting your fragile little minds, and maybe then you will all wise up enough to stop concentrating on the asshole who stole your t.v. and start looking at the assholes steeling your freedom.

Sincerely Yours Truly.

(grammar and spelling mistakes deliberately placed to inflate your ego and bypass your insecurities. SUCKERS LAWL)

Awwwwwww, I give it a 1/10

Bit'O'Gristle: Come to the good old USA and try that shiat at my house. You wouldn't have the chance to feel sorry or not feel sorry,well..you might have one millisecond to regret breaking into the wrong house as my .45 cal semi jacketed hollow point empties what you laughingly call a brain out the back of your moranic head and paints dead idiot art all over my walls.

Or you could end up like a guy down the road from me who came home from work and walked in on burglars who were already in the house. Before he could do anything they shot him twice and killed him. I live in FL and am all about the second amendment, castle doctrine, etc etc but if they get the jump on you you're farked.

/the two I'm talking about were responsible for a string of burglaries in the area and the idiots got caught when they came back to the neighborhood to retrieve some evidence they dropped.

is the letter writer a yob or a chav? Is there a difference?

theMagni: Bit'O'Gristle: Come to the good old USA and try that shiat at my house. You wouldn't have the chance to feel sorry or not feel sorry,well..you might have one millisecond to regret breaking into the wrong house as my .45 cal semi jacketed hollow point empties what you laughingly call a brain out the back of your moranic head and paints dead idiot art all over my walls.

No, you want to start out a little slower. Something like this:

This wouldn't work in my neighborhood. I've got a [gun brand nickname] and I'd love to try it out on a live target instead of the range for once. If you can, grab a photo of your gun. (Or "your" gun.)

Then you wait. Fishing is all about waiting. Eventually someone will come by and say something about how a life isn't worth some property.

Then you keep waiting. Someone else will respond to THAT, saying that you can't have people breaking into houses without fear of being shot. The risk of death is what keeps criminals in line, or something. Wait a few posts, and then get into some technical details about how one kind of ammo is better for home defence. Fragmenting ammo is better because it doesn't damage your walls or some crap like that. Don't just blurt everything out in one post.

What you wrote is such a sad troll attempt that I've got to stop and correct you. Oh, if nobody bites then it's just a bad day fishing. Don't worry about it.

Smiles..and who said i was trolling? I live in the country..things are a bit different here. Most everyone has guns, but whatever..makes you happy.

Slaxl: Jesus, he has the worst grammer than most farkerS. And whats with the ranDom capitalisaTions?

He did that so he could brag to his friends about what a bad mofo he is. I hope they lock him up forever. Being from Leeds should be a crime.

/my mother is from Leeds

Person 1: Leeds sucks. It's full of whores and footballers.
Person 2: Hey, my mother is from Leeds.
Person 1: ...what team does she play for?

Arthur Jumbles: ArkAngel: I would have sent the letter back to him with his atrocious grammar and spelling corrected.

I'd keep him in prison until he learns how to write.

So a life sentence with no parole is appropriate for a burglary?

It's not that these individuals did not have access to education-they did not take advantage of it due to total lack of interest.
Proper spelling and grammer don't make you look cool to your homies and is not going to help you sling dope or jack people in parking lots.