FARK.com: (6760311) ... for the entrance to Canmore is guarded by creatures so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with them and lived

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		... for the entrance to Canmore is guarded by creatures so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with them and lived (news.nationalpost.com)		73
		More: Amusing, Canmore, University of Victoria, Kelowna, moral panics, Susan Vickery

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9367 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Nov 2011 at 12:41 PM | Favorite | share:

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73 Comments (+0 »)

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simplicimus

2011-11-24 11:27:45 AM

Well, bring in the Holy Handgrenade.

No YOU'RE a Towel

2011-11-24 12:01:36 PM

Concerned.

CanadianCommie

2011-11-24 12:06:59 PM

No YOU'RE a Towel: [www.faniq.com image 200x226]

Concerned.

fark you that's what I was gonna post.

gopher321

2011-11-24 12:20:15 PM

Tim?

simplicimus

2011-11-24 12:23:11 PM

gopher321: Tim?

Some people call me... Tim?

Gig103

2011-11-24 12:35:42 PM

Look at the bones!!!

ds_4815

2011-11-24 12:45:02 PM

Over in two. Bravo, sir.

/Norm = The Black Beast of Aaaaaaaaaarrrrggghhh?

the_sidewinder

2011-11-24 12:49:41 PM

Came for Mike and Monty Python, leaving very satisfied

Arklop

2011-11-24 12:51:21 PM

simplicimus: Well, bring in the Holy Handgrenade.

Araments chapter 2, verses 9-21:
"...And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O LORD, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy." And the LORD did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large...[skips a bit] And the LORD spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."

/one, two, five!

Webulator

2011-11-24 12:52:37 PM

My favourite is the graphic. Embiggen it and then look in the lower left corner. A tiny man and a GIANT RABBIT. Oh phew ... it's not to scale and they wisely tell us so

MooseUpNorth

2011-11-24 12:53:22 PM

CanadianCommie: fark you that's what I was gonna post.

Yeah, tell me about it.

/ Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.

Kumana Wanalaia

2011-11-24 12:53:59 PM

Kann

2011-11-24 12:54:28 PM

Arklop: simplicimus: Well, bring in the Holy Handgrenade.

Araments chapter 2, verses 9-21:
"...And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O LORD, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy." And the LORD did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large...[skips a bit] And the LORD spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."

/one, two, five!

//three, sire

brantgoose

2011-11-24 12:55:03 PM

Hi! I'm Mike from Canmore.

We have a bit of a rabbit problem around here.

How bad? Night of the Lepus bad? No. Maybe not that bad. Killer rabbit bad? Not unless you swerve when you see a rabbit crossing the road, and only then if you don't have your snow tires on.

But it's bad. The rabbits are breeding like ... something that breeds extremely fast. They're cute, they're loveable, they're cuddly and they're like some sort of Biblical Plague like they have in Australia. Sort of like the Wiggles.

Normally Albertans would solve the problem easily, by throwing Oil Royalties at it, or with guns, but rabbits breed faster than you can shoot them, and unless you are Chinese, faster than you can skin 'em and eat 'em.

That is why I'm Mike from Canmore. And that is why I'm concerned. Please donate generously to the Kill the Wabbit Fund. Wabbits are a plague in Alberta. They're sort of like rats ... with fur. Fuzzy, warm, pettable fur.

Farktastic

2011-11-24 12:55:25 PM

What is barring our progress right now is a lack of donations and a lack of community support.

This is because the people who want to save them are wingnuts with the media's ear. They are an extreme minority.

The rabbits are goddamn everywhere in Canmore. People run them over regularly because they have the run of the town. They are an ecologically damaging introduced species and they are attracting coyotes and other predators into the town. They are a hazard to townspeople.

But because farktards think they are cute, they must be saved, regardless of the damage they cause. No one cares about culling wild pigs, but this is exactly the same issue, only in an urban environment.

offmymeds

2011-11-24 12:55:35 PM

Run away! Run away!

LordOfThePings

2011-11-24 12:55:54 PM

Webulator: My favourite is the graphic. Embiggen it and then look in the lower left corner. A tiny man and a GIANT RABBIT. Oh phew ... it's not to scale and they wisely tell us so

cdn102.iofferphoto.com

capt.hollister

2011-11-24 12:56:40 PM

Kann: Arklop: simplicimus: Well, bring in the Holy Handgrenade.

Araments chapter 2, verses 9-21:
"...And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O LORD, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy." And the LORD did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large...[skips a bit] And the LORD spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."

/one, two, five!

//three, sire

Brother Maynard ?

LadySusan

2011-11-24 12:57:58 PM

My dog has a very strong opinion about this.

lh5.googleusercontent.com

Oznog

2011-11-24 12:58:14 PM

Not for long. The cost of saving a single bunny is $130 per rabbit. Ms. Vickery's organization has raised enough to save 60 rabbits, a paltry sum that puts her at least 1,940 bunnies shy of where she hopes to be.

What's the cost of eating one?

Bill_Wick's_Friend

2011-11-24 12:59:30 PM

Problem solved

/you're welcome

LargeCanine

2011-11-24 01:02:39 PM

LadySusan: My dog has a very strong opinion about this.

[lh5.googleusercontent.com image 640x480]

Yes. Yes, he can.

Oznog

2011-11-24 01:03:39 PM

But no more: last week an Alberta judge threw out a last-minute application from an Edmonton man to save Canmore's bunnies. The town has hired a trapper. Local bylaws have been revised allowing for hunting within the town limits.

I'm guessing a crossbow, but you'd probably wanna replace the point with a stun blunt. Otherwise, very easy to pierce the bowels.

Crossbows lack the excessive range and make very little noise. I guess pellet guns would do it too, but a crossbow with a stun blunt is a cleaner kill. Plus, well, it's just COOLER.

You could just set up snares on the rabbit trails. You're have a bunny every day by the sound of it. I suppose the live trap makes more sense, but a snare's more classy. Traditional.

the_immoral_minority

2011-11-24 01:11:44 PM

Nurglitch

2011-11-24 01:13:46 PM

cookereh

2011-11-24 01:14:19 PM

My wife had a pet rabbit when we started dating. I sued to call it "Stu"....she didnt like that.

Great story bro.

Mouser

2011-11-24 01:19:34 PM

The horror...the horror...

al's hat

2011-11-24 01:20:06 PM

Farktastic: What is barring our progress right now is a lack of donations and a lack of community support.

This is because the people who want to save them are wingnuts with the media's ear. They are an extreme minority.

The rabbits are goddamn everywhere in Canmore. People run them over regularly because they have the run of the town. They are an ecologically damaging introduced species and they are attracting coyotes and other predators into the town. They are a hazard to townspeople.

But because farktards think they are cute, they must be saved, regardless of the damage they cause. No one cares about culling wild pigs, but this is exactly the same issue, only in an urban environment.

You nailed it but it's "non-native species" and any non-native species introduction needs addressing when it may conflict with their new environment's health. Of course, these are cute and cuddly bunny wabbits! History is rife with catastrophic non-native species introductions. Rabbits in particular have been a recurring problem for centuries.

phrenicmonkey

2011-11-24 01:23:29 PM

Cook! Where's my Hasenpfeffer?

L33t Squirrel

2011-11-24 01:25:54 PM

Bill_Wick's_Friend: Problem solved

/you're welcome

This. The first thing to come to mind was, "I bet them's good eating. And I bet some clever people up there can do nice things with those warm pelts in the cold this time of year."

Amos Quito

2011-11-24 01:28:08 PM

That's all, folks!

LordOfThePings

2011-11-24 01:33:22 PM

Amos Quito: That's all, folks!

Duck season!

nurdgrrl

2011-11-24 01:34:35 PM

No YOU'RE a Towel: [www.faniq.com image 200x226]

Concerned.

Who rocks? You do.

poot42

2011-11-24 01:36:40 PM

Bill_Wick's_Friend: Problem solved

/you're welcome

Too much work.

Marinate overnight in oil, garlic, fresh thyme, and bay leaves.
Slather in mustard, roast covered 1 hour at 400F
Sprinkle with blue cheese.

Eat and enjoy with a nice French Brouilly.

Ambrosia.

/you're welcome!

L.D. Ablo

2011-11-24 01:44:14 PM

/very disappointed that this hasn't been posted yet

Farktastic

2011-11-24 01:51:48 PM

poot42:

Marinate overnight in oil, garlic, fresh thyme, and bay leaves.
Slather in mustard, roast covered 1 hour at 400F
Sprinkle with blue cheese.

Eat and enjoy with a nice French Brouilly.

Ambrosia.!

Sounds awesome. I think I need to find my slingshot and plan a trip to Canmore this weekend.

Oznog

2011-11-24 01:55:52 PM

phrenicmonkey: Cook! Where's my Hasenpfeffer?

upload.wikimedia.org

That IS one of the most amusing food dish names ever.

Get Lost

2011-11-24 01:57:57 PM

and treating a picturesque spot like a giant public washroom.

Ummm, excuse me, but wild animals tend to crap wherever it lands. They do not have the cash on paw to build personal shiatters and spread them about the land.

/Fecking city people are a damned nuisance and need to be relocated to Antarctica, to reduce their damage caused.

The_Fuzz

2011-11-24 01:58:20 PM

Gonna have to mark this day in my records. My hometown made Fark!

Ya, the rabbits are everywhere. For the past 10 years we would watch as the zone of maximum rabbit penetration spread. A couple years ago, it reached the end of my street. Now they are everywhere.

Nuke em. Nuke em good.

poot42

2011-11-24 02:07:09 PM

Farktastic: I think I need to find my slingshot

Give them a Happy Death and they should taste better.

....or .... so I heard .... it works on other animals .... so I hear ...

Oznog

2011-11-24 02:13:01 PM

Yeah, when they started hanging around me at the movie theater, that was the line. Creepin' me out.

WeenerGord

2011-11-24 02:18:57 PM

/Rabbit!

foxy_canuck

2011-11-24 02:20:45 PM

We just need to eat the invasive species. They've started promoting it with lionfish in the western atlantic and its being effective for reducing thier numbers... Stewed rabbit is delicious! I'd love to see rabbit dishes on every menu in canmore. Would make a nice alternative to fast food on the way down from the Smith-Dorrien road.

bigbobowski

2011-11-24 02:22:27 PM

i am a huge monty p. fan "we could burn her, bury her, or dump her" i have seen the holy grail, i own it actually. well not the real one. but the movie makes me so mad, it's like the funniest movie that never was.there was no end. it is like everybody ran out of steam and had some intern write the ending. i cant say how it should have ended, but for a movie that great, that was the lamest. blazing saddles on the other hand..

The_Fuzz

2011-11-24 02:25:45 PM

foxy_canuck: We just need to eat the invasive species. They've started promoting it with lionfish in the western atlantic and its being effective for reducing thier numbers... Stewed rabbit is delicious! I'd love to see rabbit dishes on every menu in canmore. Would make a nice alternative to fast food on the way down from the Smith-Dorrien road.

Good thinking. Instead of chicken wings, you could have rabbit legs. Could work. Then sell the furs in local shops.

Proctalgia

2011-11-24 02:31:41 PM

Good riddance to the cute little bunnies. They're not wild animals, they are a non-native species that was deliberately introduced by an ignorant or (in my area) mentally ill person. We had an influx of the little guys a couple years ago. It started out cute, and my neighbors fed them carrots. Then they ate my garden (vegetable and flower), made giant piles of pez-dispenser poop on my lawn that my baby always gravitated to, and randomly turned my otherwise well-behaved dog into an uncontrollable yelping bunny-chasing maniac during walks. I thought hey, they're domestic, the Canadian winter will kill them. Nope. They bred with the local jackrabbits. Now we have giant ugly wiry creatures, adapted to the local climate, fierce and feral, with cute fluffy tails.

barefoot in the head

2011-11-24 02:35:59 PM

Just send in the hrududus and watch them all go tharn.

Rik01

2011-11-24 02:47:39 PM

Look, I like rabbits.

I think they're cuddly and cute and harmless. I've rescued more than one over the years -- BUT when they get into my labor intensive vegetable garden, even through the chicken wire fence, then it's time to haul out the mines and blow the furballs into flinders.

The Australians well know of the cunning evil of rabbits, which some moron imported decades ago for hunting sport and now are as many, if not greater than, the massive herds of buffalo which used to run the American West. They have rabbit proof fences and the critters pile up against them by the thousands.

While coming across a few rabbit pellets in the wild now and then is nothing, try walking through yards and yards of the things, which when wet -- say like by a rain -- start to reek when the sun comes out.

I ate some rabbit once and didn't find it exactly tasty. Plus, it's so lean, even survivalists warn you that you can't live on rabbits alone in the wild.

I don't hunt 'em, but I have no problem with others doing so out of my line of sight.

In an area with no natural predators, such 'fuzzy' little critters can quickly become a menace. Most are designed to breed fast mainly because, in their native environment, they're one of the primary food groups. Attrition keeps their numbers in check.

Like with field mice, again, in Australia. Millions can occupy a farm and eat the farmer into bankruptcy. I've seen them come pouring out of an opened grain silo like they were being dumped from a dump truck.

New Age Redneck

2011-11-24 02:57:20 PM

Canmore, eh? Thought it might be groups of these guys. You know... coffee breath...poly pro stink...same old boring story about "runnin' it out on some grade 6 such and such"...

mightybaldking

2011-11-24 03:04:19 PM

GIS: Canmore Bunnies
t0.gstatic.com