My mother in law bought the turkey for me to cook.

She got a 24lb bird... for 6 people.

DOH!

BECAUSE IT GETS THEM PAGE VIEWS

/f--k Slate
//and this is the second time I think tfa has been posted, but I'm not clicking again

meat0918: My mother in law bought the turkey for me to cook.

She got a 24lb bird... for 6 people.

DOH!

Well, you need to have some leftovers.

Coming on a Bicycle: Oh bloody hell stop it already you yanks - go and celebrate something and shut up or post stories that haven't got the word 'thanksgiving' in it, thanks! I've had my fill. This is too much like 'ok poop's coming out'.

Translation: I have entered here knowing full well what the subject is and that I despise said subject. I feel the need to share this displeasure instead of moving on to topics I find more pleasing. Also, I am British and hate pie, truth and justice.

Cuz, you can't not hate pie and not hate truth and justice.

Sounds more like a strudel guy.

/Happy Thaksgiving!

In Massachusetts all the way
From Boston down to Buzzards Bay
They feed you till you want to die
On rhubarb pie and pumpkin pie,
And horrible huckleberry pie,
And when you summon strength to cry,
"What is there else that I can try?"
They stare at you in mild surprise
And serve you other kinds of pies.

Culled from "Culinary tourism" by Hillaire Belloc (1930). Here is the whole poem, which has several other major points of interest:

Alas! What various tastes in food
Divide the human brotherhood!
Birds in their little nests agree
With Chinamen, but not with me.
Colonials like their oysters hot,
Their omelettes heavy-I do not.
The French are fond of slugs and frogs,
The Siamese eat puppy dogs.
The nobles at the brilliant court
Of Muscovy consumed a sort
Of candles held and eaten thus,
As though they were asparagus.
The Spaniard, I have heard it said,
Eats garlic, by itself on bread:
Now just suppose a friend or dun
Dropped in to lunch at half-past one
And you were jovially to say,
"Here's bread and garlic! Peg away!"
I doubt if you would gain your end
Or soothe the dun, or please the friend.
In Italy the traveler notes
With great disgust the flesh of goats
Appearing on the table d'hôtes;
And even this the natives spoil
By frying it in rancid oil.
In Maryland they charge like sin
For nasty stuff called terrapin;
And when they ask you out to dine
At Washington, instead of wine,
They give you water from the spring
With lumps of ice for flavoring,
That sometimes kill and always freeze
The high plenipotentiaries.
In Massachusetts all the way
From Boston down to Buzzards Bay
They feed you till you want to die
On rhubarb pie and pumpkin pie,
And horrible huckleberry pie,
And when you summon strength to cry,
"What is there else that I can try?"
They stare at you in mild surprise
And serve you other kinds of pies.
And I with these mine eyes have seen
A dreadful stuff called margarine
Consumed by men in Bethnal Green.
But I myself that here complain
Confess restriction quite in vain.
I feel my native courage fail
To see a Gascon eat a snail;
I dare not ask abroad for tea;
No cannibal can dine with me;
And all the world is torn and rent
By varying views on nutriment.
And yet upon the other hand,
De gustibus non disputand-
-Um

I love pie.

/but not like that pervert in the picture above.

meat0918: My mother in law bought the turkey for me to cook.

She got a 24lb bird... for 6 people.

DOH!

I bought an 18lb bird for 3 people.

mmm, leftover turkey!