It's still better than Oreo "cream" which is basically sugar flavored Crisco.

the_sidewinder: Cool hwhip?

You're saying it weird.

DjangoStonereaver: I don't care. It is still yummy.

I can't say I've ever tried condom lube.

/NTTAWWT

I find the only people who like cool whip are
a) people who are lactose intolerant
b) people who have never had real whipped cream
c) people who are functionally retarded

"I can't believe it's not butter"
Maria Schneider

My first green in two years!!

/ Jesus that's sad. Anyway, thanks mods! It's going to be a merry Thanksgiving indeed.

You take heavy cream and you whisk it. How hard is that? We live in a culture where people dont know what food is and would rather eat a chemical cocktail because they havent learned to whip cream or melt cheese over a double boiler, etc.

"A timely seasonal article"

From April 2007? That is timely and seasonal.

OK, which member of Congress are you, OP?

maxandgrinch: "A timely seasonal article"

From April 2007? That is timely and seasonal.

OK, which member of Congress are you, OP?

Ric Romero (I-The Interwebs)

erik-k: maxandgrinch: "A timely seasonal article"

From April 2007? That is timely and seasonal.

OK, which member of Congress are you, OP?

Ric Romero (I-The Interwebs)

/ Raises hand

// /b/ is not your personal army ;)

Let's see, the name of the product:

Tells you about the mechanical process by which it is made ("Whipped")
Tells you what they expect you to use it for ("Topping")
Tells you, via its brand name, what temperature you are expected to serve it at ("COOL whip")

But at no point tells you what it actually IS. I try to avoid products like that...

/Could be worse, could have also told you what it is NOT ("non-dairy") if it didn't have a milk by-product in it
//At least the name isn't required to have the word "product" or (horror of horrors) "food" explicitly included in the name
///(Mmmmm, "Potted Meat Food Product")

DemoKnite: You take heavy cream and you whisk it. How hard is that? We live in a culture where people dont know what food is and would rather eat a chemical cocktail because they havent learned to whip cream or melt cheese over a double boiler, etc.

Even easier with one of those hand held immersion blenders. It whips in about 10 - 15 seconds.

Real whipped cream, while extremely tasty, can't sit in a fridge for a month. It doesn't even last 24 hours. So I'll take easy over good.

Plus chemicals are good. Everything's made from chemicals. What do you have against chemicals?

Primum: Real whipped cream, while extremely tasty, can't sit in a fridge for a month. It doesn't even last 24 hours. So I'll take easy over good.

Plus chemicals are good. Everything's made from chemicals. What do you have against chemicals?

Why would you want it to? You make enough for what you want to use it for and thats it. The cream itself lasts about as long as milk. Yes I guess if you want to get into semantics everything is made from chemicals.

Primum: Real whipped cream, while extremely tasty, can't sit in a fridge for a month. It doesn't even last 24 hours. So I'll take easy over good.

Plus chemicals are good. Everything's made from chemicals. What do you have against chemicals?

Well if you used one of these it would last a fair amount of time.

Labrat407: Primum: Real whipped cream, while extremely tasty, can't sit in a fridge for a month. It doesn't even last 24 hours. So I'll take easy over good.

Plus chemicals are good. Everything's made from chemicals. What do you have against chemicals?

Well if you used one of these it would last a fair amount of time.
[truebartending.com image 300x300]

Not with kids around! I have to refill it often.

Make More Hinjews: My first green in two years!!

maxandgrinch: "A timely seasonal article"

From April 2007? That is timely and seasonal.

InfamousBLT: I find the only people who like cool whip are
a) people who are lactose intolerant
b) people who have never had real whipped cream
c) people who are functionally retarded

d) you're a giant douche bag because you get butthurt because not everyone likes the same shiat you like

Cool Whip: "A delicious blend of sugar, wax, condom lube and Preparation H." A timely seasonal article, plus your mom likes the description

FTFA: Sorbitan Monostearate - Chemists call this stuff synthetic wax, and it's sometimes used as a hemorrhoid cream.

Ftfy subbie.

//Cool HHHWhip

Primum: Real whipped cream, while extremely tasty, can't sit in a fridge for a month. It doesn't even last 24 hours. So I'll take easy over good.

Plus chemicals are good. Everything's made from chemicals. What do you have against chemicals?

Great....

Who is going to bring up DHMO?

Condom lube? Oh, you wacky Wired writers. We KNOW you have never touched a woman in your lives.

Der Poopflinger: InfamousBLT: I find the only people who like cool whip are
a) people who are lactose intolerant
b) people who have never had real whipped cream
c) people who are functionally retarded

d) you're a giant douche bag because you get butthurt because not everyone likes the same shiat you like

Sounds like you're a b and a c

YOU'RE EATING HAIR

InfamousBLT: I find the only people who like cool whip are
a) people who are lactose intolerant
b) people who have never had real whipped cream
c) people who are functionally retarded

d) people who like a couple of spoonfuls while still frozen as a low cal snack.

Is subby saying I can dip my wick in Cool Whip to provide a slick quick?

DemoKnite: You take heavy cream and you whisk it. How hard is that? We live in a culture where people dont know what food is and would rather eat a chemical cocktail because they havent learned are too lazy to whip cream or melt cheese over a double boiler, etc.

Fixed.

And honey is bee vomit. What's your point, subby?

HeartBurnKid: And honey is bee vomit. What's your point, subby?

How about some lark's vomit? I hear that makes for some tasty confections.

ITT a bunch of losers who care way too much what other people eat.

Harry_Seldon: HeartBurnKid: And honey is bee vomit. What's your point, subby?

How about some lark's vomit? I hear that makes for some tasty confections.

I prefer the jaguar's earlobes and wolf nipple chips.

Harry_Seldon: Is subby saying I can dip my wick in Cool Whip to provide a slick quick?

charming.

I too was thinking that in a pinch, Cool Whip could be used to grease up subby's mom.