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(Komo) Dumbass Four-year-old arrested and banned for life from Safeway for theft .... Oh wait, I mean the dumbass security guard got fired for being a dumbass   (komonews.com) divider line 158
More: Dumbass, Safeway Inc.  
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15662 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Nov 2011 at 9:51 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



158 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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weave [TotalFark]
2011-11-24 08:47:55 AM

When I was 12 -- 40 years ago -- some idiot at Pathmark accused me of shoplifting a box of Good-n-Plenty candies that I was munching while in the store. I had purchased them earlier from a card store up the strip. The guy lied, said he saw me open a multipack in the candy aisle. I was never even in that aisle so I knew he was lying even about that, let alone seeing me put them in my pocket. I was then detained as he went to the aisle and brought back an opened pack -- somehow proving that I did it. I begged him to just walk next door to the card shop and I was sure the cashier would back my story. He wouldn't.

I was thrown out of the store and told I was banned for life. I told my Mom, who did all of our shopping there, she believed me so we just never shopped there again. I became an adult and have honored that ban and now I'm 52.

Families spend a lot in a grocery store. Screw Pathmark. I realize that idiot is probably long dead by now, but he represented the company and I have no problem honoring the ban.

 
EnviroDude [TotalFark]
2011-11-24 09:05:43 AM
This guy has past his level test. He can now move to UC Davis and patrol the sidewalks with abandon!
 
gopher321
2011-11-24 09:32:04 AM
Why did I read that as "four year old banned for life from Sweden"? *shakes head*
 
TheOther
2011-11-24 09:32:51 AM
What is a '4 year old' called. Too old to be a 'toddler', right? Pre-schooler??
 
sigdiamond2000 [TotalFark]
2011-11-24 09:45:35 AM
media.komonews.com

Anyone else find this picture incredibly disturbing?
 
PJ-
2011-11-24 09:54:45 AM
Hey now, if you don't catch them early, who knows how they will grow up. It starts with a pack of dried fruit, and if you're not careful, BAM! Meth addict.
 
Pugdaddyk
2011-11-24 09:55:51 AM
Did she have to pay for the dried fruit she ate? I hate it when the details are left out.
 
domo_kun_sai
2011-11-24 09:56:28 AM
This is what happens when you give an idiot a job with responsibility.
 
sigdiamond2000 [TotalFark]
2011-11-24 09:56:38 AM
It looks like Herve Villechaize's head on the body of both a dog and a kid at the same time.
 
Curious [TotalFark]
2011-11-24 09:56:42 AM
yeah the puke rent a cop totally screwed up.

he should have banned the father for not watching his kid. to say nothing of crap parenting skills that taught the little girl it's ok to eat stuff in the store.
 
182 [TotalFark]
2011-11-24 09:57:09 AM
give that guy a medal....parents need to control their damn yard apes!!

/lol...can't do it with a straight face
 
LostInTO
2011-11-24 09:58:52 AM
What a little thief.
 
mikdeetx
2011-11-24 09:58:54 AM
If Safeway takes common sense seriously, they wouldn't have hired the douchebag in the first place.

This is the same store that banned a woman because her child was hungry and ate a sandwich she forgot about at checkout, had the money to pay but the rent-a-cop had to make a deal about it and have mom arrested.
 
Pelvic Splanchnic Ganglion
2011-11-24 10:01:44 AM
sigdiamond2000: [media.komonews.com image 405x304]

Anyone else find this picture incredibly disturbing?

Is it the dog-shaped tumor growing out of his head?
 
starlost
2011-11-24 10:02:52 AM
you learn from your parents. if the kid knows how to open the package the parents should be telling her when it is ok to do if they have asked permission each time. never tell a young kid to open the ice cream pop package or snacks and help yourself with a new box. the parent should open/reopen the pack and give the kid the portion the parent thinks is fair.
 
basemetal [TotalFark]
2011-11-24 10:02:55 AM
"She grabbed a bag of apricots - dried apricots - opened them, ate a couple, put it back and the security guard watched her do it," said the girl's mother, Alissa Jones.

Savannah's father didn't notice his daughter's sticky fingers, but a store security guard did.

Meh, yes he did. Either that or dad is an idiot.

/the rent a cop is typical
 
red5ish
2011-11-24 10:03:22 AM
I'm impressed that the little girl wanted dried fruit instead of candy. Indicates good parenting.
 
stuhayes2010
2011-11-24 10:04:08 AM
sigdiamond2000: [media.komonews.com image 405x304]

Anyone else find this picture incredibly disturbing?

Mom has a kicking body. Though I can't figure out why there is a muriel of a wolf in the background.
 
PJ-
2011-11-24 10:04:13 AM
starlost: you learn from your parents. if the kid knows how to open the package the parents should be telling her when it is ok to do if they have asked permission each time. never tell a young kid to open the ice cream pop package or snacks and help yourself with a new box. the parent should open/reopen the pack and give the kid the portion the parent thinks is fair.

You sound like a Communist.
 
jaylectricity [TotalFark]
2011-11-24 10:05:48 AM
And everyone understands what common sense is,

Refreshing!
 
pxlboy [TotalFark]
2011-11-24 10:05:58 AM
sigdiamond2000: [media.komonews.com image 405x304]

Anyone else find this picture incredibly disturbing?

yes
 
BalugaJoe
2011-11-24 10:06:49 AM
our new Treasury Secretary.
 
pxlboy [TotalFark]
2011-11-24 10:07:12 AM
the parent is a moron for not watching his ugly kid and the security douche is an asshole for taking it that far
 
topcon
2011-11-24 10:07:52 AM
After seeing the picture:

BACK AWAY, FOUL DEMON!
 
BarbadoSlim
2011-11-24 10:08:14 AM
The local PD is probably begging for this fat-ass to join.
 
mpfjr
2011-11-24 10:08:36 AM
My daughters could both read and write at 3 years old. They also knew it was wrong to take things without paying for them. The parents are also at fault for not paying attention to their child taking things off the shelf, opening them and eating them. That security guard is a hero.
 
N7
2011-11-24 10:10:11 AM
Is this the thread where we call the dad a horrible parent for not being able to predict or observe his child's every move, and imply that the kid is some kind of budding sociopath for not knowing better at four years old?
 
miss diminutive
2011-11-24 10:11:08 AM
Way to keep the world safe from kindergarten shoplifters, Top Gun.
 
Harv72b [TotalFark]
2011-11-24 10:11:10 AM
Just imagine if she'd got hold of a package of poison. Or laxatives. Or poison laxatives.
 
JackieRabbit
2011-11-24 10:11:33 AM
We need iddy-biddy jails. Oh wait, we have those. There called daycare.
 
dennysgod
2011-11-24 10:11:59 AM
See what happens when you privatize security. This is the quality of guards our prisons will have if Republicans get their way.
 
edmo [TotalFark]
2011-11-24 10:12:03 AM
I was that age and pocketed some candy at a store. We only lived a few blocks away and when Mom found out she marched me back up there and made me return what was left and apologize. That was good enough back then.

That people even think of charging four-year olds is amazing. In my case, I shoved the goods down my pants - good enough to get sex offender status tacked on these days, I'm sure.
 
offmymeds
2011-11-24 10:13:12 AM
That's some fine police work there, Barney. Now give your bullet back to Andy.
 
IlGreven
2011-11-24 10:13:48 AM
basemetal: "She grabbed a bag of apricots - dried apricots - opened them, ate a couple, put it back and the security guard watched her do it," said the girl's mother, Alissa Jones.

Savannah's father didn't notice his daughter's sticky fingers, but a store security guard did.

Meh, yes he did. Either that or dad is an idiot.

Spoken like someone who's never had children.
 
Winston Smith '84
2011-11-24 10:14:10 AM
EnviroDude: This guy has past his level test. He can now move to UC Davis and patrol the sidewalks with abandon!

I respectfully disagree with your position that he can move to UC Davis - I believe his next move should be to the TSA where he could be responsible for "patting down" young children. Perhaps he can permanently ban some of them from future flights.
 
Padraic
2011-11-24 10:14:12 AM
Proves it...you can't engineer around stupidity. If it can be done some dumbass will do it. We really don't pay enough attention to the things we tell people to do.
 
IlGreven
2011-11-24 10:14:45 AM
"Our policies on shoplifting are intended to protect our customers, but built on common sense. And everyone understands what common sense is,"

...I look at the state of affairs of our country, and I dispute this remark.
 
Happy Hours [TotalFark]
2011-11-24 10:15:01 AM
TheOther: What is a '4 year old' called. Too old to be a 'toddler', right? Pre-schooler??

Down here in Florida we call them 'gator bait.
 
ArkAngel [TotalFark]
2011-11-24 10:15:04 AM
sigdiamond2000: [media.komonews.com image 405x304]

Anyone else find this picture incredibly disturbing?

buffetoblog.files.wordpress.com

My first thought
 
Filth Paste
2011-11-24 10:15:59 AM
Kid looks like a smurf.
 
Aidan
2011-11-24 10:17:06 AM
The rules were dumb, the guard was dumb.... But the dad was dumb too. Mistakes can happen and kids can be fast little farkers, but he didn't notice her take the bag, open it, take a few out, close it (?) and put it back on the shelf?

Eh. Oh well. I'd demote or switch the guard to another position, make sure the father understood that hey this was a thing we don't want to happen again (sometimes parents CAN be truly stupid), and call it a wash.
 
i_got_no_strings
2011-11-24 10:19:00 AM
A few shopping trips ago, my nearly two year old was riding in one of those little cars attached to the front of the shopping cart. These are an excellent child-pacification device, but are also apparently a den of iniquity for a budding delinquent. I should've been suspicious when he didn't start fussing during checkout, but it wasn't till we got to the car that I realized he had snatched an entire box of candy bars from the checkstand display.

I turned the whole cart around and we headed back into the store to return the candy. Luckily this was before all the stories about crazy-aggressive shoplifting prosecutions, or I might have considered just jumping in the car and driving away.
 
Aidan
2011-11-24 10:20:11 AM
starlost: you learn from your parents. if the kid knows how to open the package the parents should be telling her when it is ok to do if they have asked permission each time. never tell a young kid to open the ice cream pop package or snacks and help yourself with a new box. the parent should open/reopen the pack and give the kid the portion the parent thinks is fair.

I understand where you're coming from, and the kid IS just four, but my kid is now six and if he can't at least fend for himself a LITTLE in the kitchen, then there's no hope for him. He can at least stick a frozen waffle in the toaster or get himself an ice pop from the freezer, and I sometimes worry that he should already be able to do more.
 
paquerette
2011-11-24 10:20:49 AM
I have kids, and a husband, and I know many fathers, and I absolutely believe that the dude didn't notice what the kid did. He was probably standing there staring at the grocery list trying to figure out what the fark his wife wanted him to buy long enough for the kid to pull off this entire heist. Now to be fair, I have days where I could have not noticed this going down. But for a guy, I think the entire shopping trip goes like that.
 
paquerette
2011-11-24 10:23:22 AM
Aidan: starlost: you learn from your parents. if the kid knows how to open the package the parents should be telling her when it is ok to do if they have asked permission each time. never tell a young kid to open the ice cream pop package or snacks and help yourself with a new box. the parent should open/reopen the pack and give the kid the portion the parent thinks is fair.

I understand where you're coming from, and the kid IS just four, but my kid is now six and if he can't at least fend for himself a LITTLE in the kitchen, then there's no hope for him. He can at least stick a frozen waffle in the toaster or get himself an ice pop from the freezer, and I sometimes worry that he should already be able to do more.

I'm big on training them early. A four year old should be able to open the fridge and get yogurt or applesauce and serve it to themselves in a bowl, and get things from the low pantry shelves. My six year old can make toast and sandwiches and bowls of cereal, and drag a chair and reach anything she needs, and we're probably going to start frying eggs and grilled cheese soon.
 
Savage Belief
2011-11-24 10:23:27 AM
Safeway has always hired the mentally retarded. I just didn't know they put them in security.
 
Rodeodoc [TotalFark]
2011-11-24 10:25:40 AM
FTA: Savannah can't read or write, but the guard, whom Safeway had hired under contract, had her scribble on the paper just the same. "It's pretty troubling," Jones said. "It's not like she even knows what she was doing."

What's really troubling is that the father let his daughter "sign" the paper. You're married to a spineless farktard, honey.
 
KimNorth
2011-11-24 10:28:07 AM
sigdiamond2000: [media.komonews.com image 405x304]

Anyone else find this picture incredibly disturbing?

Yes, because she had "the devil in her!" No really she looks like she knows dang well what she did as any two year old told one no you can't take that knows not to do. I predict within 15 years we will be seeing her again just a hunch. Something in the kids eyes......
 
alternative girlfriend
2011-11-24 10:29:47 AM
Children this age often go through a stealing stage. They are furtive, and know they are doing something wrong, so they hide it from their parents. It's a type of boundary testing.

They need to get caught in order to learn it's wrong, and it's good the girl was caught. But the reaction should have been "Hey, you need to pay for this" and then let dad handle the discipline.

I did something similar at that age. I was caught and punished by my mom. I learned to stop doing it.
 
uttertosh
2011-11-24 10:29:56 AM
jaylectricity: And everyone understands what common sense is,

Refreshing!

Yeah, in a world full of jobsworths, she has a superbly refreshing attitude.

Dad needs to reread his toddlers operational handbook, go on morals refresher course.
 
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