Quick update on the Headline of the Year contest: for the first time since we decided to do this crazy thing, we're actually on schedule.
We're currently caught up through the end of October on mainpage headlines, so through the end of this month I'm setting up the contests for the subtabs. If you have Totalfark, you can now vote on the candidates for the Headline of the Year contest for the first quarter of the subtabs, covering Dec 2010 - Feb 2011. Here are the threads from yesterday:
SportsGeekEntertainmentPoliticsBusinessEach thread has around 37-39 headlines in it, but only the top five will make it to the final round, so the voting on these are pretty critical. I have personal favorites in each of the categories that won't be going. That part of it is depressing.
Thanks to those of you who have pitched in to help with these, I have a list of names of people to thank more publicly later on.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-11-13 to Sat 2011-11-19:
Man accidentally kills self at grocery store. He must have used the self-checkout lane 
Tornado Watch issued for the Indianapolis region. Citizens are urged to seek shelter in Lucas Oil Stadium, where there is no chance of a touchdown 
Tourist spots Christ's image on cliff. Jesus rocks 
Crime novelist says he has uncovered evidence that Jane Austen may have been murdered. Police are now looking for a high-school English student with access to a time machine Trapped girl survives after car wreck by drinking Gatorade and eating Pop-Tarts, or as your kids call it, "lunch" Heinrich Himmler's WWII postcards up for sale. "Having wonderful time, wish Jew were not here" 
It's like God's own Monopoly game as tornado moves house from Mediterranean to Baltic Informer killed by Maoists. In their defense, it is a very difficult song for karaoke Semi full of beer flips on the interstate. Eight fire trucks, twenty-six police cruisers, four ambulances, two local construction crews, five local newstations, and several hundred commuters show up to help clean up the crash Teacher rapes 11 pupils. It looks like they should have *puts on sunglasses" put on sunglasses. YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH Man dies in wood chipper accident. Aw, geez. And it's a beautiful day Sports:
Derek Jeter's high school in Kalamazoo, MI names its baseball field after him. Fans look forward to attending 2012 events in Overrated Stadium 
Houston Astros move from the National League as MLB splits into two equal sized leagues. Orioles now become 15th worst team in American League 
City of Orlando still preparing for NBA All Star Game, halftime entertainment from the Easter Bunny Geek:
Researchers discover hypnosis is a fundamentally different mental state than normal consciousneALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD Humans became social in daylight. That says a lot about "Twilight" fans, I guess Research finds blood type affects risk of stroke. Most in danger are people whose blood type is either AB, B or Slurpee Entertainment:
Storage Wars guys find $500,000 worth of pirate gold, will use American Truckers to haul it to the Pawn Stars, who have a buddy who's an expert in pirate treasure 
Cast and crew of The Expendables 2 caused significant damage to a protected bat cave. Sure, Bruce can afford to fix it, but it's the principle of the thing Lucy Lawless rallies against deep drilling. Can we still cuddle? Politics:
Two Senators (R&D) introduce "STOCK Act" to stop "insider trading" in Congress. Subby will ride his unicorn straight through Washington D.C. if this passes Gov. Chris Christie weighs in on overpaid PE teachers, truck stop scales 
Newt, on his $1.8M Freddie Mac payday: Um... I have no idea, really. I've got many clients. Let me think... Freddie Mac... black comedian, right? Business:
Just ahead of their IPO, Zynga CEO suddenly decides some of his employees are "under-performing" and have a choice of giving back their stock options or being fired. No word on whether they get an in-game tree as a consolation prize China has altered the trading rules. PRAY they don't alter them further 
Travel Insurance..In...Spaaaacceeee · · ·
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