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(Newsday)   I bet you can't fit in that safe. Yes I can, watch   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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22828 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Oct 2003 at 12:25 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

88 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-10-07 04:28:07 AM  
We used to show new members around the large commercial kitchen at my old co-op in college. One stop was always the walk-in freezer. I'd always show the new person in, and then as soon as they were across the threshold I'd close the door (KLIK) and turn off the light. After about five seconds I'd open the door and have a good laugh. Most people got the joke, but the "grounded in reality" types usually started banging and yelling right away. Strangely, they were the same ones who became active on committees and tried to find new offenses that they could evict people for.
2003-10-07 04:34:35 AM  

Harry was practicing a Houdini stunt alone in his chambers and got himself locked in the safe. Hilarity ensued.
2003-10-07 04:39:22 AM  
The article fails to mention if he succeeded in his obvious attempt to give himself a blowjob.
2003-10-07 04:45:55 AM  
It's sorta sad that asshat managed to get out of the safe. Sounded like they were only another 15 min away from ol' uncle Darwin paying a visit...

Ah well, can't win 'em all :(

2003-10-07 05:39:41 AM  
All agreed that he is a dumbass, but just imagining being locked in a 4-foot by 2-foot safe triggers my claustrophobia...
2003-10-07 05:47:08 AM  
There are times when stealing a fresh teenage corpse is just too difficult.

It would have been tempting to shout, "don't worry! you're SAFE in there!"

I love how they got him out by re-trying the combination.
2003-10-07 07:33:03 AM  
I didn't know K-Mart had safes. Unless it was one of theos gunsafes for shotguns. Then it would make sense.

2003-10-07 07:53:27 AM  
That's the only Night Court episode i remember from beginning to end. When they blow him out with dynamite, i think, he appears in another room all sweaty and out of breath. The rest of the cast thinks that Harry was trying to fool them into thinking that he was trapped inside.
2003-10-07 08:30:22 AM  
"The teenager emerged short of breath and sweaty, but otherwise unharmed after at least 10 minutes inside."

/late addition to the "How did you lose your virginity?" thread from a while back.
2003-10-07 08:45:51 AM  
Hey, don't blame the kid. It wasn't his vault.

...2...3...4 Is this thing on?
2003-10-07 09:05:27 AM  
boy #1 : uh-oh ... are we gonna get fired for this ?

boy #2 (muffled, inside safe) : it's pretty much a dead lock.
2003-10-07 09:20:50 AM  
OMG that would be awful. Shiat like that is one of those things with me. I have this thing where i need to at any point in time be able to move my arms. Sometimes, like, I'm taking off a sweatshirt or something and it's kind of tight and I'll positively freak out until I can get it off. Ask my wife.

So man, if I were all balled up in a safe and couldn't move my arms OR my legs, I would probably scream like a little girl and use up all my oxygen before anybody could try the combination the first time.
2003-10-07 09:23:31 AM  
Just goes to show you, like a car trunk, or the inside of a safe, both should have a release mechanism button on the inside.

Dipshiats demand it!
2003-10-07 09:34:02 AM  
What does a redneck say right before he dies?

"Watch this!"
2003-10-07 09:44:50 AM  
"The teenager refused to be transported to the hospital."

Red flag! Red flag!

Who can tell me the significance of that sentence?
2003-10-07 09:54:07 AM  

If you're thinking what I'm thinking, he didn't want people to know the answer to the question, "what the fark have YOU been smoking?"
2003-10-07 10:03:44 AM  
The safe is from the "Martha Stewart Suffocating" line.
2003-10-07 10:03:53 AM  
<i>2003-10-07 04:20:06 AM <b>52packard</b>

i think the tag "bumbass" would have been better for this link.</b>

Sometimes they just write themselves.
2003-10-07 10:13:27 AM  
"Attention K-mart shoppers! There is a Blue Faced special right now in Sporting Goods."
2003-10-07 10:16:36 AM  
K-Mart manager: 'Where did all the money go?'
Employee: 'We didn't have any...'
2003-10-07 10:32:04 AM  
I understand he practiced:

[image from too old to be available]
2003-10-07 10:44:49 AM  

oh...wait....I am at work. shiat, I am goofing off looking at this shiat.

oh well, Kmart employees. continue goofing, I make more money, therefore I waste more money.
2003-10-07 11:00:14 AM  
Safety Safe!

Our safe is safer than other safes because Safety Safe has safety built right in. You're always safe with Safety Safe.
2003-10-07 11:13:00 AM  


"The teen and another 18-year-old, both Kmart employees, had been playing around, and he decided to see if he could fit in the safe, Linz said."

This is exactly why everything costs so much today, employees goofing off while on the clock, probably union too so it was o.k. to do so.

Dumbass quote of the day..goes too..........

Another guy who probably thinks this is all Clinton's fault

These guys get underpaid, at least let them have their dumb, retarded fun
2003-10-07 11:19:08 AM  
I'm with Lord VGer. When I was little I couldn't even stand jammies with the feet. I screamed the house down the one time my parents put me in them.

I'm not claustrophobic, not really...but that would make me so.
2003-10-07 12:37:51 PM  
OH GOD jammies with feet. That's what you have to wear in hell. It's like a straightjacket for your toes.

2003-10-07 01:44:02 PM  
Great headline!

/whats the last thing a redneck says? Hey ya'll watch this.
2003-10-07 01:51:05 PM  
lol, i live 2 mins away from that kmart.

and why didnt they release the 18 yr old's name? hes not underage.
2003-10-07 01:51:36 PM  
This happened in a town called Wooster? At a K-Mart? This guy is clearly a redneck.
2003-10-07 02:08:53 PM  
Lord VGer:
Hell is: Not only jammies with the feet, but giant coats, probably with mittens attached, and three or four sweaters.
And then they lock you in a small box, alone, that you can't stretch your legs in.
Oh, that is unpleasant. It wouldn't be so bad if you at least didn't have to be alone. :)
2003-10-07 02:11:48 PM  
Betcha can't fit your whole fist in your mouth.

Oh yeah, well hea' mah fif iss in mah mout' .. uh ouh
2003-10-07 02:47:17 PM  
I believe FoxxThePyro wants to say the phrase:


and then:


yay filters!
2003-10-07 04:14:01 PM  
Too bad David Blaine's people couldn't talk him into this stunt.
2003-10-07 05:02:54 PM  
They'll prolly sue because there was no warning label on the safe.
2003-10-07 10:23:41 PM  
Ah, obviously the filters caught the end "c" and the beginning of "unt" and decided that was a naughty word despite the space and needed to be replaced.

2003-10-08 01:04:47 AM  
2003-10-08 01:07:48 AM  
<IMG SRC="">
2003-10-08 01:51:22 PM  
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