One thing about living in Chicago I never could stomach, all the damn vampire fans.

Smart boyfriend

I've never watched a Twilight movie...without the hilarious commentary of those fine folks at RiffTrax.


/fark Edward, fark Jacob
//Team Mike, Bill, and Kevin forever!

Question: Is being involved in a DUI crash an equal good use of time as seeing the latest Twilight film?

Answer: ?

I'm glad the local AMC had cheap tickets for this movie as I had to take my step-daughter to see it. Newborn baby at home so my wife couldn't go.

I'd still do her face.

Rubix^3: I'd still do her face.

Crazy written all over it. And I'd do the same.

What a coincidence. I blame my drinking on movies like twilight.

Rosario Dawson's little sister?

some winners from the slideshow

They were supped to see it?

Not proof reading is for retards.

Gilligann: Ok, WTF is this at the bottom of the page?

[i.imgur.com image 550x400]

Was someone messing around and photoshopped her mug shot?

No, that's a DUDE, believe it or not, who was busted injecting cement and Fix-A-Flat into some woman who paid him $7000 so she could have hips and ass just like him.

Gilligann: Ok, WTF is this at the bottom of the page?

[i.imgur.com image 550x400]

Was someone messing around and photoshopped her mug shot?

Butt injection with 'Fix a Flat' leads to arrest (new window)

css time:

back in 2004, I was working at a local movie theater, and we had a midnight showing of "I, Robot." Rather, we were supposed to. One of our employees was upset that his mother wouldn't let him stay after work and watch it. So, he was driving behind the building at 70mph, lost control and crashed into the transformer, knocking out power to the movie theater. 5 minutes before the movie was supposed to start. Idiot.

that was not a good night.

Gilligann: Ok, WTF is this at the bottom of the page?

[i.imgur.com image 550x400]

Was someone messing around and photoshopped her mug shot?

maybe she's REALLY constipated??

CornDog in 2012: i.imgur.com

I'm quickly loving that one.

At least he didn't blame it on video games.

/we will regret declaring any willingness to take responsibility for one's actions to be proof of guilt for things that happened before we were born
//not until things get a lot worse than they are now, though

ltdanman44: some winners from the slideshow

[i40.tinypic.com image 550x400]
[i39.tinypic.com image 550x400]
[i43.tinypic.com image 550x400]


Are those DOLPHINS above his eyebrows?

Arklop: I've never watched a Twilight movie...without the hilarious commentary of those fine folks at RiffTrax.

/fark Edward, fark Jacob
//Team Mike, Bill, and Kevin forever!

Instant Replay of Baratunde Thurston's livehatetweet of Breaking Dawn (NSFW, new window)

Jgok:

Instant Replay of Baratunde Thurston's livehatetweet of Breaking Dawn (NSFW, new window)


I'd like to read that, but I don't watch talking heads scream at me like on youtube, so, is there a text version somewheres?

Jgok: Arklop: I've never watched a Twilight movie...without the hilarious commentary of those fine folks at RiffTrax.

/fark Edward, fark Jacob
//Team Mike, Bill, and Kevin forever!

Instant Replay of Baratunde Thurston's livehatetweet of Breaking Dawn (NSFW, new window)

The movie suck, yes, but how much of a dick are you to sit in the theater and tweet on your phone the entire time when other people are there to enjoy it? *looks at picture of blogger* Never mind, that is probably the quietest he has ever been in a movie.

skinink: One thing about living in Chicago I never could stomach, all the damn vampires fans.

FTFY.

The city is full of them. I think they're called 'Native Chicagoans'

jbezorg: Gilligann: Ok, WTF is this at the bottom of the page?

[i.imgur.com image 550x400]

Was someone messing around and photoshopped her mug shot?

Butt injection with 'Fix a Flat' leads to arrest (new window)

Oh man. I was going to say that it was the most pronounced case of steatopygia (new window) ever. But geez, injecting your own ass with cement, fix-a-flat, mineral oil and super glue will do that. I'm surprised he's not dead. (Yes, HE - that's a man, baby.)

are "ready for fark"headlines getting more lame by the week?
Is that the joke??

HTApprovedChick: jbezorg: Gilligann: Ok, WTF is this at the bottom of the page?

[i.imgur.com image 550x400]

Was someone messing around and photoshopped her mug shot?

Butt injection with 'Fix a Flat' leads to arrest (new window)

Oh man. I was going to say that it was the most pronounced case of steatopygia (new window) ever. But geez, injecting your own ass with cement, fix-a-flat, mineral oil and super glue will do that. I'm surprised he's not dead. (Yes, HE - that's a man, baby.)

Must sound like a cinder block being dragged when he walks by.

I don't envy the Doctor that's going to have to cut that crap out.

Coffee Snob: They were supped to see it?

Not proof reading is for retards.

Came to say this.

skinink: One thing about living in Chicago I never could stomach, all the damn vampire fans.

Yes! I love The Lost Boys: it's probably my favourite vampire movie and the grandpa is definitely one of my favourite characters out of all films. Admittedly, most of its film competition is Hammer, which... hrmm... won't win any prizes for nuanced character development and cerebral plot twists, shall we say.

Also, for the record: I'm a mid-twenties female who loves her some vampire fic, who's written four books' worth of her own, and who's never picked up a Twilight book because, frankly, I've seen the Rifftrax version of the films and that's as close as I want to come.

You know how with most movies, you set up the drinking game so that if Arnie stares at the camera, you drink, or if Keanu Reeves looks like he forgot his lines, you take one sip per second of awkward pause? Yeah, the Arigby Household Drinking Game for Twilight is: when it gets too painful to watch at your current BAC, drink. Any more complicated rules will be swiftly forgotten and will probably lead to alcohol poisoning. Hell, as it is, I don't remember how the movies ended.

That said, it ain't the worst. The Star Wars Holiday Special was worse, especially sans Rifftrax (yes, I've seen it once with and once without), and worst of all was Actium Maximus. That one is waaaay worse than the SWHS, in part because its premise was awesome. It was just the execution that was... well... let's just say it executed the premise. It was supposed to be about this Han Solo-ish big-game-hunter space-pilot dude who roams the galaxy a la Spaceman Spiff capturing big, nasty, alien monsters for the evil, drug-addicted robo-emperor's constant blood sports, except with some political intrigue involving the smarmy alien and the floating, talking rocks, plus a romantic subplot thrown in. Awesome idea, no? Except... let's just say the giant penis monster that vomits over the main characters at the end kind of sums it up. And then it says "TO BE CONTINUED..."

It wasn't.

Thank GOD.

Then I'd have to watch it.

skinink: One thing about living in Chicago I never could stomach, all the damn vampire fans.

LOL...+1