There is not one single element of this story that isn't fundamentally broken. Him, her, the system that makes this all work this way, the people handling it, everything.

Yep, he's a dumbass, all right.

I remember hearing about a similar psycho-stalker ex story in which the woman died. Before that he had set her new boyfriend's house on fire while she was away with him on vacation. He'd leave things on or in her car, or call her in the middle of the night, or she'd find things in her house. It went on for years like that. She finally thought she got away from him by moving across the country, but one day he was in the house, and he killed her in the act of making a 911 call.

There are some seriously deranged people out there. Our stalker laws aren't anywhere near strong enough.

Jake Havechek: Deport the illegal scum. Latino men with nothing to do are ruining this state. Go back home, cholos.

Yes, because only illegals do stuff like this. Anyway, it's been my experience that illegals are about the last people you'll find with nothing to do.

This man is an abusive control-freak and that's about it. We grow them right here in the US too. I saw a woman yesterday who had been through four days in the hospital having reconstructive surgery to fix the smashing her boyfriend had done to her face. He'd pretty much destroyed one cheekbone and the eye socket, as well as loosening some teeth on that side.

I hear stories every day about ex's who stalk and harass someone who left them, took control of the situation away from them. That's what stalkers and abusers have in common. They come completely unhinged if they think they're going to lose complete domination over everything in their environment. The most dangerous time is when someone is trying to get away from them, because that person has rejected their control, and that makes their whole fantasy world in which they are king or even god fall to pieces. They know that it's a sorry king or god that has nobody to worship and obey them.

Theaetetus: unlikely: the system that makes this all work this way

You'd rather the system ignored rape accusations?

"Won't somebody think of the children!"

Accusations should be investigated. Rape allegations are the only crime where you're guilty until not just proven innocent but moved to a new community and probably changed your name.

The guy should have played college football; then it wouldn't even be a crime.

AbbeySomeone: Women that try to get away are frequently beaten or killed, or hunted down after they have left.

Pretty much. I've been reading up on a new effort to connect traumatic brain injury with domestic abuse. It's chilling when you realize that a lot of abused women have taken more punches to the head and face than an experienced boxer. Imagine what it does to their heads, to have their brain bouncing around in their skull like that all of the time.

Stalking is a big problem. We don't seem to have the laws to really clamp down on it like we should. Sometimes I think women should have bodyguards just to protect them from their creepy ex's. Harassing phone calls and text messages all hours of the day and night should be enough to send someone to jail, and cause their phone activity to undergo some close scrutiny, which could result in prison time if depending on what length of time they've been harassing their victim. Ankle bracelets would make sense here too, to track their movements and check compliance with things like protection orders. I'd actually advocate for ankle bracelets for anyone who has been found guilty of domestic abuse on an ex who escaped the situation.

The more you eat the more you fart: Theaetetus: unlikely: the system that makes this all work this way

You'd rather the system ignored rape accusations?

Yes, when the only reason she is accusing him is as a method of revenge.

Her motives would be less suspect if she accused him, oh I dunno, right after she alleges he tried to rape her?

Woman accuses a man of rape or attempted rape? ZOMG!!!!!! SHE MUST BE TELLING THE TRUTH BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS NOBODY WOULD EVER LIE ABOUT SUCH A THING!!!! BURN HIM!!!!!

In TFA, it says he took her cell phone the night she woke up with him on top of her. The next day was when he planted the cocaine. It may have been that she hadn't had a chance to meet with the police about it yet. Sometimes it takes people time to get over how shaken up the experience has left them before they report something.

Also, to those who claim she only reported the attempted rape to get back at him for the cocaine, isn't it just as likely that he planted the cocaine to destroy her credibility in case she tried to report the attempted rape?

The more you eat the more you fart: CowboyUpCowgirlDown: It's not rape rape if you invited the dude to stay the night and he stops when you say, "get off me"...More like marriage than rape.

I didnt RTFA, but if that IS what happened, then she has no case.

1. Invited him to spend the night
2. Willingfully participated in sex
3. When she told him to stop, he stopped.

That's pretty much the definition of "not rape".

"Willingfully" is not a real word. If you meant "willingly", you're wrong there again, and you didn't RTFA all the way through.

He'd been invited the night before, but not the night after. He was in the house without being invited to be there. That's breaking and entering. Just because someone has had sex with you in the past does not give you the right to rape them or climb on top of them when they are sleeping and whip it out. He stopped, but he should not have started and had already gone too far without her consent.

tgambitg: If stalkers are ignoring laws already, another law isn't going to stop them. Harassment, abuse, etc., all these are covered in current laws. The problem is enforcement. We don't need more laws. There are way too many on the books as it is. Every day you break laws that you don't even know exist.

I also take offense to you equating all domestic abuse victims as female. As a victim of domestic abuse myself (an ex broke my nose twice during arguments, I'm man enough to not hit back.), I can tell you it happens more than is reported to men, I'd wager a guess that it is almost equal to the amount done to women, due to underreporting.

I didn't mean to imply that women are always the victims in these things. They aren't. The trouble is that there are some factors that ensure that they usually are the victims in domestic violence though.

1. Male privilege/prerogative is a part of our culture. Many men see it as their due to have a woman wait on them hand and foot simply because they're the owner of the penis. Religion of the sort we practice in the US tends to tell men that they are entitled to a woman's work and sex and obedience. It's a tough nut to crack, and it causes a lot of abuse to happen that might not have if they were not told that they were supposed to always get to be boss at home no matter what.

2. Size. Generally a man is bigger than a woman and uses size to intimidate. Abusers are even likely to prefer partners who are smaller and weaker, because they don't want someone who could give them a fair fight. Sometimes a woman is the abuser and the same holds true, but generally a woman abuser will ambush her victim to avoid allowing her victim to defend themselves. Women also tend to prefer psychological abuse and things like "gaslighting" to make you think you're losing your mind. Sometimes the slicker male abusers will use the passive abuse forms as well. If a female abuser wants to kill her partner, usually she'll do it when he's sleeping or poison him instead of a direct confrontation. Almost without exception, abusers try to avoid any opportunity for their victim to fight back. They exploit any disadvantage their victim has.