My biatch better have my money
Through rain, sleet, or snow
My whore better have my money
Not half, not some, but all my cash
'Cause if she don't,
I'm gonna put my foot in her ass.

Does Wayne Brady have to choke a biatch?

Yes! I believe I know what you are saying.

Expert pimp gets a 'ho no'

OK, the NY Post headline was about seventeen times funnier and more clever than this one.

Pimpin' ain't easy.

Ice T

FTA: "I've been in the industry since 2000. I've read every book, saw every movie, heard every song relating to this subject matter," McCord told Brooklyn Supreme Court Justice Wayne Ozzi. "It would be helpful to the jury to understand the character of the people involved . . . [and] the relationship between pimps and prostitutes."

Read more: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/brooklyn/expert_pimp_gets_ho_no_zwg Wr1lYrTb4q9I9QBMBzM#ixzz1eSIK2o2r

Did he get to the part about playing a police detective working the sex crimes unit on TV for a decade?

What, he thought that shiat was for real? LOL

His pimp hand wasn't strong enough

"I've been in the industry since 2000. I've read every book, saw every movie, heard every song relating to this subject matter,"

I'm definitely saying this at job interviews from now on.

I have to ask: if they let him up on the stand and let him gab about what he "knows", and he starts relating personal anecdotes, can that be used as evidence against him? Because if that is so, the prosecutor should be simply begging the judge to let him be an expert witness

Basically: does an expert witness have immunity?

Tom Dubois: What was your name again?
A Pimp Named Slickback: Well, thank you for asking. My name is A Pimp Named Slickback.
Tom Dubois: Wait, a pimp?
A Pimp Named Slickback: Named Slickback, yes. Please say the whole thing if you would? Yes, that includes the "A Pimp Named" part. Yes, Tom, every time.
Tom Dubois: Look, Mr. A Pimp Named Slickback...
A Pimp Named Slickback: No need for the "Mr."
Tom Dubois: I don't think I need any help from someone like you.
A Pimp Named Slickback: And by "someone like me," you mean a pimp? A bad guy?
Tom Dubois: Now, look, I'm not trying to insult you. I just don't approve of what you people do to women.
A Pimp Named Slickback: Oh, so I'm wrong, so I'm messed up. Well, which one of us is missing a biatch, Tom? You don't see *me* running around looking for a biatch. I know where all my biatches are, thank you very much.
A Pimp Named Slickback: Now look at you, biatchless. Sans biatch, as the French in France would say.
A Pimp Named Slickback: Did you know that at least 75% of biatches suffer from some kind of hearing loss? This alarming statistic means that, more likely than not, talking is not the most effective way to communicate with a biatch. That's when you have to hit her.
Tom Dubois: Whoa, what?
A Pimp Named Slickback: You tell her what you want her to do. If she say no, hit the biatch! Simple.
Tom Dubois: But I couldn't hit Sarah. I couldn't hit *any* woman.
A Pimp Named Slickback: Has *not* hitting the biatch been working? I mean, scientifically speaking, has not hitting the biatch achieved the desired result?
Tom Dubois: No way! I just, I can't, I couldn't, I won't!
A Pimp Named Slickback: Tom, take a deep breath. It's okay, people have phobias. Some nubians can't cross bridges, you can't go upside a biatch's head. Okay, we can beat this.

Sybarite: I've read every book, saw every movie, heard every song relating to this subject matter

He even read the Velvet Jones classic "I Wanna Drive a Pink Cadillac, Wear Diamond Rings and Kick Women in the Butt."

I wonder if he's seen Pretty Woman. Richard Gere never had to slap a Julia Roberts. I heard a rumor he did some mean things to her gerbils though.

Where's my biatches?

Truth. Stranger than fiction... and more hilarious.

"That is correct."