I learn so much here.

I "understand", PhotoCindy.

*breathes deep and nods*

askmen.com = Cosmopolitan like fluff, but for people with penises.

I lived with a girl who was a little bit of all of those. An absolute psycho.

Ruffian
Good point. After it's been a week or so since the latest AskMen post, I actually look forward to the next lame-brained topic everyone can lambaste.

Plus the threads are for more entertaining than your usual "I'd hit it 8 times with an inflatable baseball bat" and "Republicans/Democrats are _________" threads.

Rosalea... and that's AFTER taxes... beat THAT!

Otisburg : sticking to 10 was almost impossible. I'm pretty sure it could have been a top 20 list.

*hides guitar behind the sofa*

no no music is awesome. Just don't decide your music is everything and you must dedicate every single solitary second to it and let someone else support you (you'll pay it all back when you hit it big, honest)

happened to someone else not me...I swear.

I didnt see:

1. Crack or Heroin addicts
2. Born again Cristians
3. Women in recovery, AA NA
4. Women Gyno's (eeew)
5. Lesbians
6. Women Politicians
7. Truck Drivers

When they told me a sex war was going on here, I thought they meant something else......

How about a list of one for both sexes? 1. idiots.

PhotoCindy

Thanks for the advice. It really helps. No really. I mean it. Why would I say it if I didn't mean it.

/just learning to deal with PMS

More women to avoid.

1. Members of NOW. They hate anything that is cool or fun.
2. Members of PETA. Clashes with my steak!
3. Women who cause $800 long distance phone bills, and don't understand why you are pissed off.
4. Wiccans. These are just pathetic. Especially if they "dress the part".
5. Really into "sports" when "sports" means Figure Skating.
6. Vindictive women. Beware, they are the ones that file false police reports, and throw cinder blocks through your windshield.
7. Diamond-Hunters. Women love diamonds! (Allotrope of Carbon)
8. Social climbers. They have a barbie-doll, fairy tale, soap opera life planned for themself, and you owe it to them. See YOU at the yacht-club Biff! Kiss kiss.
9. Beauty queens. Say Jon-Benet Ramsey.
10. Overgrown airstrip! Ladies trim the quim!

Good, ESH.

Now, let's have sex.

- men who reference LOTR, Star Wars, or any other sci-fi stuff within the first 5 minutes of initial conversation

SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

/weeps softly

Rosalea... and that's AFTER taxes... beat THAT!

WOW. if I was a gold digger I'd be chasing you now.
Gonna mention your IQ next? *winks*

Men to avoid, I will use my ex-s as examples:

1. Push overs. Never disagrees, no back bone. ugh.
2. The "All my ex-s are psycho." Ya, all of your ex-s are psycho cause you drove them there.
3. The Six Figure man. Immediatly tells how much money he makes. So, what? Tomorrow you will be broke and still be an ass.
4. Cheap. Not frugal. Cheap.
5. The 'Athletic' type. Just cause you sit around and watch sports doesn't mean you are athletic, just fat.

when did this become a man bashing thread?
you chicks will get your chance when some other lame article comes along.

If I weren't such a dedicated misogynist, I'd say that PhotoCindy was one gorgeous redhead, and has mad artistic skills, to boot.

3. The Six Figure man. Immediatly tells how much money he makes. So, what? Tomorrow you will be broke and still be an ass.
4. Cheap. Not frugal. Cheap.

What if you make 6 figures but never mention it? If fact, don't want anyone to know? And you're mostly frugal but sometimes cheap?

askmen just decribed every living woman on this planet....i guess we're doomed...

poppinjay

that counts me out... shiat.

My Top 10: (and these also apply to women)

1) The Religious Guy. I met a TON of them in college... as soon as the relationship progresses into sex (usually crap sex at that) There will be a big break up scene the highlight, "you stole my purity you jezebel-lilith-eve temptress!!"

2) Product Man. His hair is his life. A quick trip to the grocery store is an exercise in futility.

3)Crap Kisser Man. <G> if the kissing isn't good, nothing else will be either

4)Passive Agressive Boy. Instead of saying what he feels, he'll do the snide biatchy comment. Expects YOU to figure out what's wrong. (usually a momma's boy)

5) Sister Lover. His sister is the WORLD... and she's usually a nasty ugly biatchy coont. Say one critical thing 'bout beloved sibling, and you're out the door.

6) Label Boy. Only wears expensive designer clothes, yet has to borrow $ to keep the phone hooked up. (twin to "Product Man")

7) Doesn't Know He's Gay. His head is turned by every cute boy. Askes you to f'ck him up the ass in private (see also #1), but CONSTANTLY makes "queer" 'n' "fag" jokes. NEVER tell him you like girls, you'll never hear the end of it.

8) Car Boy. Much like sister lover, he's in love with his car. Always working on it, always buying crap for it.... car is ususally a giant piece o shiate.

9) Moody Man. He's a man of a thousand moods, and you'll see 'em ALL in 5 minutes.

and the latest and greatest

10) Abuser Boy. Gets his jollies by beatin' the crap outta you.

M.E.B.
(and what a coinky dink, I have a date tonight. Whee!)

PhotoCindy
Maybe after the game.

EffervescingElephant
What do you have against crack addicts? At least they are a cheap date. Just don't bogart the pipe or they'll stick ya'.

Although I think I might be the female equivalent of the gaming freak. Woot!

hey gaming freak is cool. It's just the people who let it rules their entire lives with no room for anything else (male or female...they all annoy me)

And I too get the urge to punch females like those on that list. But I always aim for the stomach. Then if they're bent over your can knock them upside the head too

*disclaimer - farketter rosalea does not advocate violence. Just trying to teach people a valuable lesson on not being annoying

Farkette Survey Response as requested by ESH, though I don't know if I have 10.

1) Guys who can only tell you they love you when their wasted.
2) Guys that buy shiat for you like copy paper and the 'patch' as a gift for you on valentines day (true story)
3) Guys that drunkenly whooo-hooo and high five each other in bars
4) Guys that get their news from Howard Stern
5) Guys that spend more time getting ready than you
6) Guys who would rather spend more time on their computer than hanging out with actual humans...fun, interesting, alive human beings.
7) Guys that think it's OK to NOT wear an undershirt under a dress shirt.
8) Guys who aren't comfortable in their own skin
9) Guys with sweaty palms and meak handshakes
10) Any guy too aggressive, pushy and creepy.

It gets tiresome and, in my opinion, reeks of ignorance.

that whole rant was so gay. ;)

My men to avoid list:

1.) The Schizophrenic. Yeah, really. My God, that was an adventure. Which led to his impotence, amusingly.
2.) The "Sly" Molester. The one who pathetically tries to be slick, thereby getting into your pants not by force, but by "charm." *shudders*
3.) The Pushover. Especially not if he's been sheltered. Give me a man with a backbone.
4.) The Patronizer. The one who wants to be the parent in the relationship. Very maddening. Especially if they're more farked in the head than you are.
5.) The Prep. Not that I have to avoid them. They might get cooties if they came near me.
6.) The Impassioned Musician. I went on a date once with this guy who was obssessed with guitar. And only guitar. And only wanted to talk about guitar. And play guitar. I wanted to stab myself in the eye.
7.) The Gamer. All day all the time. Nothing else. No other conversation. Read a book or something. It's a pasttime, not a life.
8.) The Jock. Sports are not the most important thing in the world.
9.) The In-Closet Bisexual Slut. If he's a disturbingly good shopper who acts effeminate, leave. You will later find out all the disturbing shiat after all is said and done.
10.) The Permanant PMSer. I swear men get PMS. But when they raise a hand, they get dropped like a bad habit.

That's probably not terribly clear at the moment- it's Monday and all.

ElVee




Yeah, considering that on a scale from 1-10, what my ex did after many years of marriage and two kids, would be a 25.




Oo! Oo! Story plz, kthnx!

miss_enthropic_biatch's list is better :)

Who does askmen.com survey for these things...a third grader?

I know what you mean by saying you drove your girlfiends psycho... I have that gift/curse as well. after I broke up with her, my ex was so desperate she went and dated a male stripper just to get me jealous... when that failed she tried everything else... calling me, proposing (yes, as in she calls me at work to ask me to marry her), asking my friends/brothers... not to be conceited, but she knew it couldn't get any better than me, but after two years we found out we weren't a match anymore... sad, really.

2.) The "Sly" Molester. The one who pathetically tries to be slick, thereby getting into your pants not by force, but by "charm." *shudders*

You must enjoy being a virgin.

Things I've learned from this thread:

1. Most women are awful.
2. Most men are awful.
3. I would say I learned that frat boys and sorority girls are awful, but I already knew that.
4. Askmen.com is gaining no friends in this stream of posts.

Whoa, that list of wimin to avoid just about covers them ALL. But they forgot one that you should really avoid if you want to enjoy decent sex for the duration of your life.

She's the one that wants to MARRY YOU.

The one who smiles radiantly walking down the wedding aisle, knowing that she'll NEVER have to do anny of that "stuff" again.

Hey, I'm the DEVIL. What did you expect me to say,
bay-bee?

TOM-TUTTLE...you hit the nail on the knob me boy.
if it weren't for a couple choice anatomical anomolies,
we'd have no use for broads whatsoever

/grabs handful of lubriderm

Sounds like some of you girls really need to work on your screening process. These sound worse than the women to avoid list and I'm guessing these are from personal experience... Yikes.

This article might have read (for all the good it does):

"Avoid any any woman with breasts and a vagina. Also avoid sticking your face into loaded bear traps"

rebeccahines: "Myrna is straight on. I had a Fawner once and he about drove me batty. And his name formed a complete sentence; that was the most interesting thing about him."

Oh, c'mon! Am I the only person that wants to know what this guy's name is?

BamaTide

my girlfriend is also a sorority girl(Pi phi @ UND). somehow i ended up with a fantastic lady(fits 0 of the 10 categories). However, after 3 years, i'm still trying to pry her retarded golddigger friends away from her. they speak diamonds 24 hours a day--especially the artsy heavy ones with no chance of getting a boyfriend in the next century who feel they need to live vicariously through her.

after living in a fraternity house for 5 years and witnessing 100's of relationships with sorority girls, we've (my old fraternity house)determined that sorority girls are not worth the effort.

Craos

My ex's story, and the reason we commenced the hot hot divorce action, and, concidentally, the reason why I'm such a farked-up woman hater actually made the papers a few years back.

Commence the research and Googling! First one to get it wins a rare and valuable attaboy!

2003-10-06 01:57:25 PM Pooter
"What are you thinking?"
"I was thinking that of all the Brer Rabbit comics ever made, I've only read one."

Okay, thats the funniest thing in this thread.

2.) The "Sly" Molester. The one who pathetically tries to be slick, thereby getting into your pants not by force, but by "charm." *shudders*

Baby, you must be a parking ticket. 'Cause you got "Fine" written all over you.

/giggity giggity

2) Guys that buy shiat for you like copy paper and the 'patch' as a gift for you on valentines day (true story)

hey if those were things you wanted....

I once got tequila for an xmas gift (which he drank at a new years party)

#23. the kind of girl that won't go down on you because it's not "natural".


/yeah back from the ban..

You must enjoy being a virgin.

I think you're misunderstanding her post. As a woman I fully know what she means.

The guys you don't want to sleep with but that keep up the smarmy Smoove-B style talk to try to get you back to their place and out of your pants.

It's disgusting.

I like gold digger women. You know where you are, they stick by you through everything except poverty and they are screwing you professionally. Works for me. Of course, I'm emotionally stunted by adolescent trauma, ymmv, play to your strengths I say.