Now where will Mark Foley shop?

Hey, at least they weren't crotchless.

What are ya gonna do? They're too young for tramp stamps. This is a nice jr. tramp alternative. Like those little plastic high heels they make for toddlers.

How is a fat parent supposed to prepare their crotchfruit for making a living as a pole dancer or hooker if you can't buy the Toddlers in Tiaras outfits that are career-grooming appropriate?

Probably doesn't matter, though - those jobs will also eventually be outsourced to places like Vietnam.

acanuck: Probably doesn't matter, though - those jobs will also eventually be outsourced to places like Vietnam.

They could have girls' underwear with Eric Cartman dressed as the Vietnamese Hooker with the phrase, "suckie-suckie five-dollah!"

I suppose if the underwear reads "call me", then the reader won't really have to.

McMuttons: Sounded like these were aimed at teens, so chances are they are out buying their own underwear. So by that time, it really depends on what kinds of values parents instilled in them when they were younger, and not what the parents are buying for their kids.

You forgot one thing. It's also important what the mob values are. The mob being the legions on blogs, Twitter, and mainstream media. If parents don't listen to what these people say, how will they know what to be outraged about?

I heart rich boys. Hmm, 10 bucks is like a million to a 6 year old...

Next thing you know, your kids will be buying vibrators at Spencer Gifts.. THE HUMANITY.

To the Loyal Employees of Girlz Xpress/Kiddie Star Lusters Industries

I know. We've all seen the news and by now, the Receiving area is packed with returns. We're going to try and find other markets for our products but until we do, things will be tough around here.

By the end of the day, your managers should have completed the layoffs. Everyone left will either work exactly 32 hours a weeks or less than 32 hours a week. Your managers will tell you which of the lucky ones will still have health benefits.

I know we worked really hard on these products and I feel we did a great job but the American consumer has spoken. We're going to try and market the stuff we already made in countries where English isn't the primary language in hopes of recouping some of our loss. If Chevrolet can sell the Nova in Mexico, we can sell pre-teen panties in Guatemala that say "Boys, form a line. This train runs on time."

I know this comes at a tough time. The holiday season is right around the corner and we had hoped to sell a million "chicks or dicks" thongs by now but that just isn't going to happen. It's not our fault. We made a quality product and hoped to reach that teen slut niche that was brimming with disposable income. The market forces just won't let us tap that potential right now.

Those of us that survive the upcoming layoffs, can look forward to a prosperous and rebounding 2012. Our sexy line of pre-teen undies may be discontinued but we are doing a lot of research on the pre-teen boy penis enlargement market and feel that the Junior Ron Jeremy Peener Pump will be on every 10 year old boy's Easter Gift 2012 list.

I wish the best of luck to all who will be escorted from this wonderful business today. Good luck. And for those who remain behind, please remember we are the only 100 percent American business that continues to meet the needs of the sexually active pre-teen children. We close down and China walks right in.

There is still a fight to win

The President
Girlz Xpress/Kiddie Star Lusters Industries
Scranton, Pennsylvania
Since 1965 A Leader in the Pre-Teen Sexy Undergarment and Pre-Teen Sexual Exploration Industries.

If you don't want me staring at your daughter's ass....



Don't let her put reading material on it.