As God as my witness I thought Tom could fry

One day there will be a President willing to chop that goddamned turkey's head off.

Milquetoast in Chief, Obambi doesn't have the cojones to do it. Maybe when Rick Perry is President...

Quasar: Rick Perry would chop the turkey's head off himself.

Well. I'll be damned.

I never got worked up about it, but I have always considered it kind of poor taste. I mean, think about what the joke is.

AverageAmericanGuy: One day there will be a President willing to chop that goddamned turkey's head off.

Milquetoast in Chief, Obambi doesn't have the cojones to do it. Maybe when Rick Perry is President...

If Perry becomes president, it will effectively be a lobotomy for the U.S. government, which is like death, which equals the death penalty, which will affirm the U.S. commitment to the death penalty as a form of punishment, which means USA! USA! USA!

The only reason obama will pardon the turkey is because he'd rather have chicken for thanksgiving

It could be worse, you could have a President that pardons one of you on Death Row, then proceed to give a rah-rah speech during the execution of the rest of you.

Whatevs...I'm going to deep-fry for the first time this turkey day. Keep ME in your thoughts and prayers.

If all goes wrong, I could be next weeks' front page.

Minimally Hairy Beer-Powered Simian: AverageAmericanGuy: One day there will be a President willing to chop that goddamned turkey's head off.

Milquetoast in Chief, Obambi doesn't have the cojones to do it. Maybe when Rick Perry is President...

If Perry becomes president, it will effectively be a lobotomy for the U.S. government, which is like death, which equals the death penalty, which will affirm the U.S. commitment to the death penalty as a form of punishment, which means USA! USA! USA!

farkING A USA USA USA!

Arbitrariness is generally treated, both by supporters and detractors of the death penalty, as a mere glitch in the system, as something that could in principle be worked out.

If by "mere glitch," you mean "one of the major reasons for opposing the death penalty," then yes.

Granted, there are some DP opponents out there who say that even a perfectly, ontologically fair system is still objectionable on other grounds, but I'd bet a decent majority of DP opponents would be content with the system if only the arbitrariness were removed from it.

I wonder if the author knows that the president can't pardon people in State's death row, since he has no jurisdiction? He can only pardon federal death row inmates.

Blow it out your ass

I kinda feel that Rick Perry would have pardoned the white meat portion of the bird.

Well seeing as how the turkeys never killed anyone, I'm having a hard time giving one flying fark what inmates on death row consider cruel and unusual.

I am against the death penalty, but the turkey pardon was a weak jumping-off point for an otherwise decent article.

The reasoning and implications of the turkey-pardon tradition are fun to analyze, but turkeys are not humans, their lives are not nearly as important, and a comparison between the two in this context breaks down pretty quickly.

FTFA: "In many countries, including Britain and France, the last vestiges of capital punishment survived for rare cases of treason alone"

Now there's something to strive for, being more like Britain and France.

Uzzah: Arbitrariness is generally treated, both by supporters and detractors of the death penalty, as a mere glitch in the system, as something that could in principle be worked out.

If by "mere glitch," you mean "one of the major reasons for opposing the death penalty," then yes.

Granted, there are some DP opponents out there who say that even a perfectly, ontologically fair system is still objectionable on other grounds, but I'd bet a decent majority of DP opponents would be content with the system if only the arbitrariness were removed from it.

Or if it was a marital aid instead of another dude.

/what?

Lt. Cheese Weasel: Well seeing as how the turkeys never killed anyone, I'm having a hard time giving one flying fark what inmates on death row consider cruel and unusual.

This.

I also don't recall having the option to eat an inmate after his/her execution was carried out.

no turkeys should be pardoned

"I am not saying that this slaughter of birds for food is wrong ― not here anyway"

that was enough

Uzzah: Arbitrariness is generally treated, both by supporters and detractors of the death penalty, as a mere glitch in the system, as something that could in principle be worked out.

If by "mere glitch," you mean "one of the major reasons for opposing the death penalty," then yes.

Granted, there are some DP opponents out there who say that even a perfectly, ontologically fair system is still objectionable on other grounds, but I'd bet a decent majority of DP opponents would be content with the system if only the arbitrariness were removed from it.

I think most people are opposed to DP because your balls will probably touch

Uzzah: Arbitrariness is generally treated, both by supporters and detractors of the death penalty, as a mere glitch in the system, as something that could in principle be worked out.

If by "mere glitch," you mean "one of the major reasons for opposing the death penalty," then yes.

Granted, there are some DP opponents out there who say that even a perfectly, ontologically fair system is still objectionable on other grounds, but I'd bet a decent majority of DP opponents would be content with the system if only the arbitrariness were removed from it.

You see I was with you until you used "DP" for "death penalty." Then I lost all respect for what you had to say.

Modguy: zato_ichi: Whatevs...I'm going to deep-fry for the first time this turkey day. Keep ME in your thoughts and prayers.

If all goes wrong, I could be next weeks' front page.

Make sure it's COMPLETELY defrosted. Give at least 36 hours to be sure. Other than that, god speed. Deep fried turkey is the way god intended it.

Go find the 'Good Eats' episode on turkey frying. He goes into great depths about the safety issues.

BTW.

There are several birds raised especially for this job -- to be pardoned by the president. They have several because the bird chosen might die for some reason.

The backup birds are , of course, not pardoned.

skullkrusher: Uzzah: Arbitrariness is generally treated, both by supporters and detractors of the death penalty, as a mere glitch in the system, as something that could in principle be worked out.

If by "mere glitch," you mean "one of the major reasons for opposing the death penalty," then yes.

Granted, there are some DP opponents out there who say that even a perfectly, ontologically fair system is still objectionable on other grounds, but I'd bet a decent majority of DP opponents would be content with the system if only the arbitrariness were removed from it.

I think most people are opposed to DP because your balls will probably touch

must be really awkward for the executioner...

tothekor: Uzzah: Arbitrariness is generally treated, both by supporters and detractors of the death penalty, as a mere glitch in the system, as something that could in principle be worked out.

If by "mere glitch," you mean "one of the major reasons for opposing the death penalty," then yes.

Granted, there are some DP opponents out there who say that even a perfectly, ontologically fair system is still objectionable on other grounds, but I'd bet a decent majority of DP opponents would be content with the system if only the arbitrariness were removed from it.

You see I was with you until you used "DP" for "death penalty." Then I lost all respect for what you had to say.

Now you can't get mandingo out of your head?

America. Killing retards for liberty.

Why can't we make inmates on death row fight for our entertainment? They're gonna die anyway so we might as well get some use out of them. Throw em in an arena and give them a mulititude of weapons, put it on pay per view and presto, it solves multiple problems at once. Put the events in the time slots where the NBA used to be

/DNRTA

CornDog in 2012: Why can't we make inmates on death row fight for our entertainment? They're gonna die anyway so we might as well get some use out of them. Throw em in an arena and give them a mulititude of weapons, put it on pay per view and presto, it solves multiple problems at once. Put the events in the time slots where the NBA used to be

/DNRTA

I've been saying this for years; it would be nuke the ratings war, but for some reason the public is less than receptive...

misanthropic1: CornDog in 2012: Why can't we make inmates on death row fight for our entertainment? They're gonna die anyway so we might as well get some use out of them. Throw em in an arena and give them a mulititude of weapons, put it on pay per view and presto, it solves multiple problems at once. Put the events in the time slots where the NBA used to be

/DNRTA

I've been saying this for years; it would be nuke the ratings war, but for some reason the public is less than receptive...

You know a lot of people would watch it. It would help fill in the gaps between the major sports seasons too. Halftime at the superbowl anyone?

Justin E. H. Smith teaches philosophy at Concordia University in Montreal. He is a contributing editor of Cabinet Magazine, and writes regularly on his blog.

I always thought it was called a Medicine Cabinet. Those nutty Canadians, have to have a special name for everything so no one will think they're Americans. He's probably just pissed off because he realized he ate Thanksgiving dinner on the wrong day again this year.

there their theyre: skullkrusher: Uzzah: Arbitrariness is generally treated, both by supporters and detractors of the death penalty, as a mere glitch in the system, as something that could in principle be worked out.

If by "mere glitch," you mean "one of the major reasons for opposing the death penalty," then yes.

Granted, there are some DP opponents out there who say that even a perfectly, ontologically fair system is still objectionable on other grounds, but I'd bet a decent majority of DP opponents would be content with the system if only the arbitrariness were removed from it.

I think most people are opposed to DP because your balls will probably touch

must be really awkward for the executioner...

the sexecutioner, you mean

/awwwwww yeeeaaaahhhhh

We all know it's not a feast until something cute dies.

you all seem to be forgetting the true meaning of thanksgiving. it's the day we celebrate jesus coming to america on a dinosaur and turning 5 turkeys into 5000.

CornDog in 2012: Why can't we make inmates on death row fight for our entertainment? They're gonna die anyway so we might as well get some use out of them. Throw em in an arena and give them a mulititude of weapons, put it on pay per view and presto, it solves multiple problems at once. Put the events in the time slots where the NBA used to be

/DNRTA

Running Man could replace The Amazing Race

Don't let him get me, I'm too young to die!!!

As soon as a turkey is found guilty of rape/sex/murder/death/rape I'll care about inmates.

Andrew Wiggin: you all seem to be forgetting the true meaning of thanksgiving. it's the day we celebrate jesus coming to america on a dinosaur and turning 5 turkeys into 5000.

This is why I insist on celebrating the holiday with a traditional Native American shaped piniata every year.